Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion
by Instant Classic Superstar Pac
Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and… McMahonism?
1. The Raw After Vengeance

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk, so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts.

**Chapter 1: The Raw After Vengeance**

Date & Show: June 26, 2006 WWE Monday Night Raw

"My Time Is Now", the music for WWE Raw Superstar "the Doctor of Thuganomics" John Cena, comes blaring onto the stage. Cena comes out with his friend and recently acquired valet, Maria, and the both of them are hyping up the crowd, going across the stage, etc. before walking down the ramp to an electric mixed crowd of boos and cheers. As Cena slid his way into the ring and started mouthing off once again, Maria got in by climbing the steps and crossing the ropes, then blew kisses to the fans the way she usually does. The two finally stopped right before the music did, hearing mixed chants of "CENA! CENA!" and "CENA SUCKS!" , as well as signs hinting towards each side of the fanatic views.

"I gotta say, folks, I mean, there's sum'n wrong wit' this picture right here, you know?" Cena asked, most of the fans cheering either because he was right or because they know what it was and they wanted that to happen for a long time. "Maria and I are standing here before you… without championship gold around my waist. (insert mostly cheers) But, unceremoniously, almost, not being the champ anymore has not broken my mood as of yet. Because I know personally that there's gonna be ups, and there's gon' be downs, in every man and woman's life on this planet. And despite the fact that - with the exception of 21 days where Edge got to relish the benefits of being Mr. Money in the Bank - I've been beatin' people and carryin' the crown o' dis company for about a year and a quarter, I know I can't stay on top forever. But I also know, that when the champion loses his title, there's the option of a rematch clause. I made sure to sign onto that, because I had a feelin' it was the end. When Ria and I came out for the match, we were expecting to hear 'Behold the king', or 'Time to play the game'! But, instead, we heard a question. The question was: are you ready? (insert loud cheers) Right then and there, I knew Triple H was not coming alone. Right then and there, I knew that I was gonna have to fight harder than I ever did. Right then and there, I knew Triple H and Shawn Michaels got their differences straightened out in the back at last! Right then and there, I knew, that D-Generation X was back! (insert mostly cheers) So I fought, and I hustled. Despite Shawn and Triple H throwin' everything in the book at me so that I could get pinned and lose the title to Triple H. Eventually, Maria caught Shawn in the act, and that resulted in him getting ejected. But at the same time, Triple H got a sledgehammer, and he whacked me in the head with it and threw it out the way before the referee could catch him. He then Pedigreed me into the mat, turned me over, hooked my leg, and 1, 2, 3, bam! He's the new WWE Heavyweight Champion. (insert cheers) But here's why I ain't upset. I ain't upset, for two reasons, no, wait, actually, three. One: there's always the rematch clause that I can get booked in to get another shot at Triple H. Two: I got beat by DX! (insert small cheers) And I got respect for dat! I respect D-Generation X because they are like me: they don't kiss ass, they don't get political, and they always fight to come out on top. (insert cheers) Three: I mean, let's face it. When you've got an incredibly hot young girl like Maria - who by the way is as good a loyal Chain Gang soldier and human being as she is a looker - (insert "oohs" as Maria blushes and smiles) - as your friend and manager, you've got nothin' to complain about for too long!"

"Are you ready?" was the question asked over the loudspeakers, along with the music and the familiar green scene lighting. Immediately, everyone realized that this was going to be the first D-Generation X appearance on Raw since that farce that led Shawn Michaels to come back to wrestling, driving the crowd riotous and motivating Cena and Maria to get outside the ring out of respect. Finally, out came Triple H and Shawn Michaels, in their usual trademark demeanors. The two posed at mid-ramp, with Trips drinking and spitting the water as Shawn did his prayer pose invoking the fireworks. The Heartbreak Kid got on the apron after that and did his little booty dance he does in the video games before stepping through the ropes while Trips just got into the ring via steps and ropes. Shawn and Trips each got on a turnbuckle and did the DX chop one time, invoking the X Evolution pyro blast behind them. The two men then got off, stood next to each other, and did three DX chops, each time invoking the X fireworks. The crowd went crazy during the entire celebration, as John Cena and an impressed Maria stood next to one another on the outside. Finally, the DX green lighting and music subsided, and the Degenerates got microphones, as well as left the floor free for Maria and Cena to re-enter, after which "D-X!" chants broke out. Triple H first held the microphone to his mouth, opening it to speak, but the chants and cheers were overwhelming. Finally, though, a few seconds later saw Shawn Michaels hold the microphone up to himself and begin their little promo.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and children all over the world, may I please present to you the group that revolutionized **professional wrestling**, the ones who brought attitude and pizzazz to the world, the degenerates who were rebels before being a rebel was cool! The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels! The King of Kings, H.H.H.! **D-Generation X**!" Michals called out in trademark fashion, letting the world know who they were and almost tearing the roof off this arena.

"Now, back to Mr. Cena here," Trips finally began, causing the fans to boo. "The Doctor of Thuganomics. The Franchise. The Prototype. The Untouchable Chain Gang Leader. Well, guess what: you and your little girl here could have come out now and taken our start promo time by coming out here and talking about how you got your ass kicked 95 of the time, but still found a way to win and piss all the haters off. You could have come out here, shining this spinner championship belt, which I'm about to have remodeled for DX style in a couple of weeks, (insert loud cheers) and started screaming out, 'THE CHAMP IS HERE! THE CHAMP IS HERE!' But, John, you see: you can't. You can't say 'the champ is here' anymore. Because you're not the champ anymore. The King of Kings, for the 11th time, is the champ now! (insert cheers) Therefore, I not only own any WWE Heavyweight Championship belt I choose, I also own the right to say 'the champ is here.'"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up just one second there, Tripsy," Cena cut him off, the mixed reaction coming on again. "See, I created the catchphrase, not when I had the WWE Championship, but when I had the United States Championship back when I was on Smackdown, a'ight? So, basically, I own the catchphrase, and whenever I have a title, I gots to say it."

"Explain letting Edge say it after New Year's Revolution," Michaels challenged him.

"I kicked his ass and took it back after three weeks," Cena answered solidly.

"That may be true, but he still said it. So, the champ owns the catchphrase. Therefore, the champ is here!" Trips yelled, pointing to the spinner WWE Championship belt he had around his waist the entire time. As I failed to point out earlier, Shawn and Trips wore black DX shirts with blue jeans and black sneakers, while Cena and Maria wore stuff they usually wear. Oh, by the way, the Game continued. "But then again, the fact still remains that I am the best Superst… no, I'm gonna take a page from the ECW people by defying Mr. McMahon and saying 'wrestler' instead of 'Superstar', especially since Ric Flair used to call me the greatest _wrestler_, not Superstar, alive today, so the fact still remains that I am the best wrestler in this company, and I own this place, and I call the shots. Vincent Kennedy McMahon can kiss my ass. (insert cheers) Now, because I am the best, I know for a fact that I'm gonna beat your ass out here if you want a piece of me in a championship rematch. So, if you want it tonight, you got it tonight!" (insert cheers)

"In fact, Hunter, unless you're uncomfortable wrestling in street clothes, I suggest you and Mr. Thuganomics here get this over with right now," Shawn said, not long after which "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage came on for the third time in WWE history for some stranfw reason. What else is, no Titantron video came up on the screen. Out came a guy in medium length black hair, several tattoos on his arms, and another tattoo across his lower chest of the words "Straight Edge". He was wearing black jeans, and he came out to this music, made his way to the ring, approached a smiling Maria, and engaged in a lip lock with her. John Cena seemed to recognize who this was, and was not in a very happy mood about it.

Jerry Lawler: "Okay, so this guy's out here, kissing Maria, and only she and John Cena seem to have any idea who he is. Do you have any idea who he is, JR?"

Jim Ross: "Nope. And if I did know, it must've slipped my mind."

"CM Punk. Man, I'm in the middle of conductin' some business wit' DX right here. You mind tellin' us exactly what the hell you're doin' out here, man?" John asked.

Jerry Lawler: "CM Punk? Oh, yeah! I remember him! He's Maria's boyfriend! I remember hearing her talk about him backstage!"

Jim Ross: "He also looked very promising from what I've seen, but what's the deal between him and John Cena?"

"You still haven't heard, John? Wow, you're late," CM retorted. "I got moved up here to Raw. I told Maria last night after the show. That's why she was so happy today, or did she forget to say something?"

"And neither one of you found that valuable information for the Doctor of Thuganomics?" Michaels asked in a questioning tone. Trips tapped his shoulder to tell him to shut up.

"But let me just get to the point of why exactly I'm out here," CM finally said. "Thanks for taking care of Maria the past month, but she's taken. She's with me. And you've done enough to keep us apart, John." (insert boos) On an interesting footnote to what CM Punk is about to say, instead of putting some questioning, weirded out look on his face, Cena juts kept on looking at CM Punk with a stern yet plain straight face. "Maria is my girlfriend, not yours. And I know you two have some good chemistry, and she's taken a bit of a shine to you as a friend. But John Cena, you couldn't take her away, because I'm already in the way." Meanwhile, Maria got herself a microphone, and finally started speaking up.

"Wait a minute, baby, what are you doing?" she asked CM. "He's never made any moves on me or anything like that."

"Doesn't matter. I don't make any moves on you because it's not my place to do stuff like that, not because I don't think you're beautiful or I'm not in love with you," the Doctor of Thuganomics finally admitted. The entire arena was stunned in wide-eyed silence, whether you're DX, Maria, or each and every single fan in that audience. "Maria, I do have… those certain feelings for you. It's true, kid. I've always wanted to say somethin', but… I knew you had CM, and I was afraid that everything would just flop. I mean, I heard a few of my soldiers say that they've fallen for a friend named Maria before, even though it's not you, and everything just went down the drain for a while, and I guess I didn't want that to happen."

"Ummm… John, I don't know what to say, except that I'm with CM, and…" Maria struggled to say.

"That's exactly why you can't hang around this guy anymore," CM said to Maria, putting an arm around her and pulling her body to his with his face fixated towards Cena. And the fans were booing with a furious passion. Maria and Cena were such a good team, and so many of these fans wanted to see them together, not to mention the Chain Gang soldiers in the audience that hadn't yet converted to hating John Cena and currently feel his pain.

"You're nothing but a thug, Cena. A thug that so desperately wants to hook up with the hot girl that he falls in love with her despite the fact that she's beyond his reach. And you people? You may cheer her on, but deep down, I know each and every one of you wants her gone from the WWE. I've seen comments at forums calling Maria a dumb, ditzy blonde, saying she has no business in professional wrestling. The only reason you all started cheering for her, and even for John Cena, when they finally allied together is because you think they look good together. Someone came up to me one time and said that they see Maria and John Cena hooking up, then joining with 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin and getting involved in a beer bash. Well, she's as Straight Edge as I am, so don't even try it."

"Whoa now! You can't insult the fans! It's the fans that brought back D-Generation X!" Michaels quickly cut in, regenerating the huge pop.

"It's also the fans that say Maria's worthless behind her back unless she competes in sexy outfit challenges. Whenever she screws up in an interview, or makes a dumb joke, I end up running into someone who watches her screw up and wants her gone," CM explained, boos coming right back at him. "Now, John, you may not notice this because you see her with that happy smile on her face and you always manage to bounce through all your problems even despite having some haters in the audience, but in case you're blind, Maria's smile isn't perpetual. She faces haters too, and they're too scared to show themselves by jeering inside the arena. That's the more upsetting part. People that are scared to show up go on forums and talk about putting her down into Deep South territory, and it puts her down when she's not around her friends, and it makes me sick!"

"Yo, Maria… is this true? The haters are gettin' to ya?"

Maria finally turned around from leaning on Punk's chest and nodded at John Cena, who just asked that question.

"Then why didn't you say somethin'? You know I woulda gladly picked your head up," Cena continued with his questioning.

"Because she's not your girlfriend, she's mine! I'm getting a little pissed off here, let's just go to the back," CM finally decided, giving Maria breathing room as the two stepped through the ropes and off the apron, then made their way up the ramp. The completely jeered Punk and Maria turned around at the stage, CM with a look of serious dislike and Maria with an apologetic look towards John Cena. Cena looked at the whole scene in frozen and emptied realization that in a span of less than 24 hours, his entire world had just come crashing down.

He saw that WWE Heavyweigt Championship custom made spinner belt that he had ordered, not anywhere on his own person, but on the waist of Triple H, with his best friend Shawn Michaels standing right next to him once again; and to make things worse, that name plate on there said "TRIPLE H", not "JOHN CENA". His WWE Championship, the one thing that he fought to keep every time he went out there, was taken away by D-Generation X just last night. And now, he saw that he was surrounded with only himself. He had admitted his feelings for Maria Kanellis, and here she was… not. His best friend whom he had been in love with, and whom everybody wanted to see him with, was just ripped away from him by her boyfriend, that damn "Straight Edge 24/7" CM Punk. In a show of emotional torment, the thug who always stood strong, tall and proud, left the ring and walked backstage with his face down, his spirit broken apart, and his heart finally torn into pieces just as he feared. After Shawn whispered something in Triple H's ear, the Game yelled out that maybe they should call the title match off and hold it until some other time, but the Doctor of Thuganomics never looked back.

A few minutes later, he was found backstage with his bags packed, and even though no tears ran down any part of him, you could tell he was in the worst of moods. He was almost by his rental car when he was stopped by someone calling his name. He looked back and saw that it was Stacy Keibler. He wanted to ask her what is it, but he was in no mood to talk, so the two just looked at each other until she finally shared some words with him.

"Look, John, I haven't been here for such a long time, and I just came back, and then to hear about this heartbreak and… it felt kind of like how I felt at first when I found out I was cut out of 'Dancing With the Stars', because I seriously thought Tony and I were going to win and… well, I just want to say that I'm sorry about what just happened back there."

"Okay," he finally said. "Thanks, Stace. You're good. But right now, I gotta go. I'll be back next week, hopefully in a better mood than this."

"Right. Bye," she said, softly waving her right hand. He simply gave her a thumbs up, then finally unlocked the door to his rental car, got in, and rode off into the night. Stacy looked at him and also felt how sad he was, as indicated by her putting two hands on her chest. Meanwhile, to Vince McMahon's office.

"Well, if it isn't D-Generation X!" Vince yelled out, as he was met with Triple H and Shawn Michaels.

"Yeah, it's us. We just wanted to tell you that about that WWE Championship match between Trips and Cena tonight, it's not gonna be a good idea if you book that match," Shawn advised the boss.

"What!? Why!?" the Chairman of the Board asked furiously.

"Because John Cena just got heartbroken live on national television in front of millions of people, and booking this match would not be fair because I'd have a squash match. I want him at his best so that I can kick his ass and prove to the world that I deserve to be the WWE Champion," Trips said. "Besides, I got a good mind that he probably just left the arena altogether already."

"How can I be sure you're not lying to get out of this? How do we know this didn't just fuel him up so that he comes out and beats the living hell out of you to the point of getting disqualified? How do we know you're not just trying to save your own blood." Vince questioned, before Todd Grisham came into the open door of McMahon's office saying "Mr. McMahon, we've just gotten word that John Cena has left the arena."

"Okay, then. You two have the night off. How's that?" Vince said in finally succumbing to the requests of his enemies, knowing that defying them would be pointless.

a/n: Alright, I know I got a lot of explaining to do around here. One moment I'm writing a wrestling story that has nothing to do with love, and I get so pissed off about a review problem that ensues that I go on rants about how Orton/Cena-involved love stories are so overdone that they've shitloaded the space and attention span of the site, the next I find inspiration from one to create a story with both elements with pretty much all the same top three characters. Sooo, I gots to explain exactly what's up, right?

Well, okay. Here's my answer: 1) just because I believe they've overloaded the site and taken all the attention doesn't mean I hate these love stories. In fact, any story, with the right characters and the right plot, has proven to have the ability to attract anyone, including - among others - me. 2) this is not so much different from Captain R's work, or than my own, for that matter, that I deserve to be labeled a Benedict Arnold to my own point of view. 3) keep checking this out, and you'll see where I'm going with this. 4) I'm kind of on writer's block about the Evolution story, and I'm hoping that setting the table for the super plot of this story will kinda… get me off the snide a lil bit. In the words of the world famous "Outlaw" Kip James: "Get it? Got it? Good." Peace, peeps.

-P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion, signing out.


	2. Newfound Resolve

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

---------------------------------------------------------

EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk, so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts.

**Chapter 2: Newfound Resolve**

Date & Show: July 3, 2006 WWE Monday Night Raw

Despite the heartbroken expression that has suddenly became trademark to John Cena, the show went on, both last week, and this week. The night began as it should have begun last week, with the most rebellious group (and rightfully glorified tag team) in WWE history, D-Generation X. Out came Michaels and Triple H, this time immediately starting up with DX "suck it" crotch chops side by side at the stage, starting up X Evolution explosions right behind them. At the middle of the ramp, they start up HBK's usual fireworks when Shawn does the prayer thing right in front of Trips, who does the water spit thing right there as well. The two then go to the ring the same way they did last week and go on with DX crotch chops next to each other, starting up X fireworks behind them at ringside. As the music and lighting die down, the two men get microphones, and begin to prepare to speak.

"Well, I could go on and introduce us again like I did last week, but let's face it, everybody. We got more important issues to tackle right here tonight. Now, Vincent Kennedy McMahon… ever since I destroyed him at WrestleMania, he seems to have found an affinity for mocking God in order to mask his own… vast, powerful insecurities about his manhood, if you know what I mean. (insert crowd laughing) You'd be surprised to know that at the same time, I've got a little bit of respect for him," Shawn began surprisingly. "I mean, who else could be more controversial than me in the angle of the Bret Hart Montreal Screwjob? (insert boos) But, in all seriousness, I've got to say that Mr. McAss finally allowed his ego to not get in the way of good business, when he finally made one good decision, to allow us to get the night off last week instead of one of his desperate attempts to screw us over, after John Cena walked out on Raw last night because he was… well, actually, he and I are actually kind of friends, so I won't pick on him, but if you want to go ahead and get at it, Game, then be my guest."

"Well, aside from the fact that he has the one thing that I want more than anythi… wait a minute, no he doesn't, I have it! We took it from him last week at Vengeance when we reunited!" Trips recalled, leading to a bunch of cheers. "Anyway, that crybaby isn't even worth my time anyway, so let's just get on with it. See, Shawn and I plan on looking for new members, including a woman, so as to make DX feel more complete, and trust me when I say that our new members will in one way or another fit our agenda very, very well. Anyway, while we're doing that, we're gonna have some fun. We're gonna have a few goofy moments where we pick on John Cena, and Vince McMahon, and anybody else that comes to mind. First, though, we're gonna walk to the back and go word life all over the place. Come on, Shawn." On that note, Triple H and Shawn Michaels began to walk out with their microphones in hand, Shawn even bothering to skip across the ring to the ropes facing the ramp, until a familiar car crash sound could be heard in the arena.

This would usually generate cheers, but because of actions over the past few months alongside a certain most hated couple in the WWE (since revealing themselves about 17-14 months ago depending on how you look at it), this man has done nothing but deserve the utmost jeering recently. That man was the man who now calls himself the Barbed Wire Assailant, Mick Foley. He came out in his usual outfit, with his barbed wire baseball bat in hand and his little friends, Edge and Lita, right behind him. As they all walked down the ramp, Mick raised the bat high in the air for the world to see and received a bit of a mixed reaction for it. Trips and Michaels remembered Foley, but did not like him at the moment. In fact, they almost never liked Foley. When the three of them came into the ring, Foley left the bat near the steps. He then got his own microphone, in interrupting DX.

"Triple H, Shawn Michaels, I think tonight is a different night for the two of you," Mick started, surrounded by booing fans. "This night is one where you will not run the floor. This night is one where you will not go around and do anything and everything you want to do. This night is a night where you will not be completely devoted to either calling yourself of Jesus the King of Kings, or picking on people left and right all over this arena. This is one night where being religious, or being pompous, or just plain being D-Generation X isn't gonna do ya any good."

"Yeah, well go ahead and tell us why," Trips challenged the Hardcore Legend.

"Because tonight, a certain big behemoth is going to be teaming alongside me to kick both of your asses right here in this ring. Okay, let's see… I could be talking about the Big Show, but he's a ECW guy. I could be talking about the Great Khali, but he's on Smackdown. I could be talking about the Undertaker, but again, Smackdown, plus he doesn't like Edge anymore ever since the Brood left his stupid Ministry, which… well, admit it. Other than Edge and his brother, the Undertaker's little Ministry really had nothing going for them. (insert "ohhhs") I could be talking about Umaga, but he and his manager, Armando Alejandro Estrada, are more interested in him winning squash matches. Who do you think it is?"

"Oh, let me guess," Triple H began to speculate. "You picked up a blast from Edge's past. It's either Matt Hardy, the guy he rivaled, befriended, and then screwed over to get Lita, all in a span of five years, I don't know how smart or stupid that move is, and if it's not him, it's Jeff, Matt's brother and partner in that tag team rivalry they had with you and your little buddy, who at least has managed to become the world champ down south. (insert cheers) Not them? It could be, uh… Ron Simmons. Or maybe I should stop speculating about old rivals and just predict, once and for all, that it is indeed either the Rock finally coming back from Hollywood, or yours and his and Edge's little friend, or… brother… whatever he is, the champion down south."

"Actually no, it's not Edge's childhood friend. But it is a blast from Edge's past," Mick revealed.

"Just hurry up and tell us and get it over with!" Trips commanded in frustration.

"How about the 'other guy' in the Love Triangle Screwjob tragedy everybody keeps talking about? The guy that took Lita away from Matt Hardy before Edge ever did, when he forced Lita to marry him on Raw and put Matt in the hospital in the first place, allowing Edge to have the open room to do what they did in the first place? (insert mixed reaction) D-Generation X's first official tag team match in this reunion will take place against former World Tag Team Champion, the team of Mick Foley and… Kane! And this match is not one of your normal matches. It's a hardcore street fight match, and it is scheduled for right now!"

As the fire burst at the stage and changed the lights to a fiery orange and red mixture, .Kane's music then came on, causing the crowd to get up in anticipation of this rare cheered-for heel. Kane came down to the ring the way he usually does, except this time, he had a steel chain wrapped around his hand. He looked at Edge and Lita with a slight scowl on his face, which turned into a psychotic happy grin as he stared at Edge and Lita, who shared in it with grins of their own. Mick Foley got out of the ring when his partner came out, but DX did not, and after the greetings with his former enemies, the Big Red Machine finally stepped on the apron and over the ropes to enter the squared circle. He then did his thng to invoke the fire upon each turnbuckle, restoring the lights to normal. The music, however, refused to die down, until after Mick Foley had struck Shawn Michaels in the back with the barbed wire bat! Triple H saw it, went to turn towards the Barbed Wire Assailant, and ended up getting a shot of barbed wire to the gut, then to the back. Edge came into the ring and raised up Triple H so that Kane could hit him in the face with the chain-attached right hand, which he did. They repeated the same thing to Shawn, after which Mick dropped the bat on the floor and took out Mr. Socko. Edge and Lita, who just came in the ring, started to hold up Michaels, but Mick told them Trips instead. They did as he said, he hit the Mandible Claw right inside the mouth of Triple H, whose shoulders were down because of it, so the ref just went ahead and graciously stopped the match by calling the 1, 2, 3.

"Here are your winners, Kane and Mick Foley!" the ring announcer Lilian Garcia said, as Mick got up and shook hands with Kane again, this time Foley was smiling. Mick then got his barbed wire baseball bat and left with Edge and Lita in pretty much the same way they had when this alliance was first formed to go up against the second ECW One Night Stand.

After about a good ten to fifteen minutes, we caught Stacy Keibler talking with the former Women's Champion Trish Stratus inside Trish's own personal locker room.

"Well, how was the time off now? Come on, you can go ahead and tell me," Trish said, trying to goad Stacy into giving her details.

"It was great. The Dancing With the Stars thing really allowed me to go about myself a little further and everything. But Trish, that's now what I came here to talk to you about," Stacy said.

"No? Then what?" Trish asked.

"It's about John Cena."

"You want to ask him out?"

"No, I don't want to ask him out. I'm a little worried about him after the whole Maria-CM Punk thing last week. He and I are actually good friends."

"Oh, really? Then you should ask him out, then. To help lift his spirits a little bit," Trish suggested.

"No, I can't ask him out! He'll think I like him!" Stacy said, bursting into disagreement with that idea. "But I think I just came up with something. I can help him out I'll speak to Mr. McMahon to see if I can try to get him a match with CM Punk. Wish me luck."

"Okay. Later," Trish said, waving bye bye to Stacy as the taller one left the room.

Meanwhile, a black Lamborghini Gallardo which looked like it was turned into the Chain Gang version of a Need for Speed ride was seen taking its spot in the parking lot. Its extremely loud engine eventually finally was turned off. Out of the driver's door came the Doctor of Thuganomics, in a most serious mood, with the Chain Gang white pinstripe baseball jersey, the usual black short jeans and Reebok sneakers, and the Word Life sun visor cap and chain. He closed the door with a thud, in no mood to be chill and friendly, as was evident in his walk as well.

After a few minutes, John Cena was at Vince McMahon's office door. He knocked on the door, and heard a "go away, I'm busy right now" from the Chairman.

"Yo, Vince! It's Cena, and I got business to discuss wit' you, man," Cena called to the boss inside the door.

"Well, in that case, we were just talking about you! Come on in!" he heard from the inside. He then came into the room, to find Vince speaking with Stacy Keibler, who was in a sparkling black dress. However, he temporarily just skipped right by her.

"Vincent Kennedy McMahon, the boss! What's up man?" Cena said with a small smile on his face. Vince returned it in kind as so:

"John Cena. The cham… well, actually, you're the ex-champ now. So, how've you been, my nigga?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't go there, man. You're not black. I'm Thuganomics, and even I got too much respect to say sum'n like that," Cena said, not liking the incorrect racial offense that was just spewed by his boss.

"Well, in McMahonism, you can say anything you want, as long as it is not directly attempted to offend the almighty ruler, which… is me," Vince explained.

"I don't believe in McMahonism, so in my terms, that's wrong," Cena said, defending his cause prefectly.

"Alrighty then, since this is America, I guess you're entitled to yourself," Vince said, letting go of this silly debate. "By the way, I think you may not have noticed Stacy Keibler behind you." This prompted Cena to turn around and be impressed at her.

"Damn, girl, you must be tryin' to impress someone with that!" he commented in slight awe of her looks.

"That would be implying that she always tries to impress someone, John," Vince interrupted, prompting John and Stacy to turn around. "Looks to me like you're starting to get over Maria already."

"Don't push it, Vince. Don't push it, or I will beat your ass right in here. So, mind tellin' me what you guys are talkin' about?" Cena finally asked, prompting Vince to clear his throat and get to business.

"First, let me take a guess about something," Vince said. "You're interested in getting a matchup against CM Punk right here tonight, right?"

"You're damn right I want that match," John confirmed, his voice still serious as ever. "That screwhead CM Punk, I met him twice. Maria showed me him on Valentine's Day, and then he was one of my Chicago Mafia homeys at WrestleMania, an honor I gave him because of Maria and because of his bein' from Chicago. I can't figure out how come he found me out about my crush on his girl, or how come he's all a-sudden gettin' in my face, but that gave him no right to force her away from me, especially that harsh. I spend the whole week mopin' around at home, man. I couldn't even pop up at house shows, you probably already know that! Vince, I was on the verge of goin' straight to hell this past week, until my cousin Trademarc caught me and picked my head up. I got a lesson to teach CM about me, and I'm gonna teach him when I **kick his ass!**"

"Well, like I say when I'm out preaching my McMahonism at the First Church of Vince's Arts in Greenwich, Connecticut, (fictional church) I am the boss, and there shall be no other bosses before me," Vince began his answer. "In light of that being said, I'm glad you just came to me and didn't disgrace yourself by bringing the loud braggadocio of hood rap right into my face. Therefore, I've decided to book you into that match. However, you're not gonna just be facing CM Punk, you're going to face the team of CM Punk and Edge."

"What, like in a handicap match?" John asked.

"Actually, um… no," Vince answered, surprising the Franchise and the Empress of Legs just a slight bit. "You're gonna have a tag team partner in this match. And your tag team partner will be… the Most Pure Athlete in the World Today, Shelton Benjamin. (insert small cheers) Well, you and your friend Stacy may be off with yourselves, and good luck to you getting your revenge thing on."

"Thanks, man. Good doin' business," Cena said in acknowledgement of McMahon's rare fairness.

"You're welcome," Vince said with a gracious smile on his face. After the door closed and Keibler and Cena were outside, Vince kept on smiling, but it wasn't 100 as strong and gracious as it used to be.

"I never asked for your help Stacy, but thanks," Cena said to her on the outside. "You didn't have to go in there and tell Vince to book this match up."

"I've got no problem doing it for a friend," Stacy answered. "Hey, if you win, do you think you could talk to Shelton about having the three of us go out on a night on the town? Otherwise, I'm gonna be bored tonight."

"I don't even know if I can talk to him about this match. I don't even know the guy, personally," Cena pointed out. "With you around, I think he might have an easier time. But you don't have to do it if you don't want to."

"No, I think it's alright," Shelton's voice sounded off from behind Cena, prompting him to turn around. "I heard. I know. I'll be a good guy tonight, even though that's not usually the Benjamin family style."

Meanwhile, when it came main event time, Straight Edge 24/7's music came on, and he came out with white tape on his wrists and hands with a red X around the knuckles area, and he also sported black jersey shorts with the word "PUNK" in white on each side. Hit first action at the stage was to put up that X with his forearms across his chest. As he came down with Maria smiling behind him, Punk mouthed off some words to the fans, which agitated those right at the ramp. He came into the ring via steps and ropes, then got no the turnbuckle closest to him and did the same X across the chest pose, then went right back to demanding people's respect or whatever he was doing. Then, "You Think You Know Me" came on, leading to "Metalingus". Out came Edge and Lita out of the smokescreen, the two lovers doing their usual pose and kiss at the stage, before walking down hand in hand. They released each other at the bottom of the ramp, where the both of them slid into the ring side by side, but Lita got up to her knees, then to her feet, before Edge got up to one knee and held her body close to his head, after which they did their usual things at turnbuckles. Each man was booed, neither lighter than the other. Then, Shelton Benjamin came out with his new shades on, with that usual cocky stride, feeling pretty confident about himself. Some fans cheered, but they were mostly silent. Afterwards, John Cena's music finally came on, and this time around, Cena was completely cheered for, since Edge and CM Punk were quickly established as two of Raw's most hated Superstars. However, John did not come out feeling like posing at all. He stopped at the stage, took off his cap, chain and jersey, then walk down to the ramp still ready for war. Maria's smile had vanished at this point, as the end of her friendship with John - who, turns out, he loves her - was merely a week ago, and it still had an effect on her.

He ran sliding into the ring and quickly attacked CM Punk, cornering him with right hands. The music stopped, the bell rang. However, in the midst of this, Edge attacked Cena from behind with a right hand to the back. Shelton got involved in the action, turning Edge around and drenching him with right hands, then clotheslining him over the top and out of the ring. CM Punk tried to turn the tables on Cena, but John got out of the corner before he could hit him, ran off the ropes, and met CM Punk with a shoulder tackle. Cena egged him to come on, and Punk accorded, rushing at him and getting back tossed over the ropes. He skinned the cat, but Shelton sidekicked him to the outside. Shelton Benjamin and John Cena were standing tall in the middle of the ring to start this match, as CM and Edge were tended to by their girlfriends, and we hit a commercial break. This was a bit of a late main event.

Back out from break, CM Punk and John Cena are standing there, impressed with one another's skills. Apparently, they were involved in a really good skill exchange right before we got back. CM and Cena got closer to each other, then finally locked up. CM soon got behind John Cena and tried to hit a backdrop suplex on him, but Cena got out of it landing on his feet, backed up to the ropes, then went off with a clothesline to CM. He ran to Edge, and forced him into the ring, then clotheslined Edge. CM came over to him and hit him from behind, then said something while extending his arms, probably asking them what did they think was going to happen. Punk picked up Cena and gave him a snap vertical suplex, then dropped him. He picked up John once again, then gave him a multiple spin drop toe hold, called "tiger spin" in video games. John got up, and Straight Edge 24/7 tagged in the real Edge, who proceeded to attack him with a barrage of right hands in the corner, just the same as Cena had given CM earlier in the match. Edge noticed John keeping himself up, although still sitting in the corner, so he decided to spear Cena's gut straight into the ring post to knock him down. Edge tagged in Punk, who took Cena, irishwhipped him into the corner, and hit a dropkick on him, knocking him forward. CM ran off the ropes and came back to hit John with a bulldog, knocking him right back down. CM saw Shelton and tried to feed him with a cheap shot, but the Son of South Carolina saw it coming and instead dropped down off the apron, then tripped up Punk when he turned around. Edge started getting mad, and tried to run into the ring, which took the referee's attention. So, Maria and Lita decided to tell Edge to came down. He accorded, but then ran sliding into the ring, which Shelton apparently anticipated, because he was on the turnbuckle, ready to strike Edge with one of his flying moved. He leapt high up to get Edge with a cross body, which succeeded, after which Benjamin walked out of the ring. Punk finally got up, and he again came at Shelton, this time with a leaping one-leg dropkick. This one barely connected, but did well enough for Benjamin to fall to the floor. After that, Punk directed his attention back to Cena, who finally began to score a little it of a momentum surge. He rammed CM Punk into the corner and proceeded to strike his gut several times via the side of the knee. This ended up knocking CM into seated position in the corner on the mat, allowing John to get off a Stone Cold-like mudhole stomping right to CM Punk.

Cena then lifted up his Word Life sign in front of the people, which they cheered on thanks to the old school moment from the Franchise. Edge mouthed off words to Cena, but John did not listen, as he was fully focused on beating CM Punk. John picked up Punk, sent him to the opposite corner and clotheslined him harshley out of, then locked in a belly-to-belly T-Bone throw position (Tazzplex), fired the move on Punk overhead, surprising a lot of the fans, because usually, he wouldn't go ovderhead with his B2Bs. Cena then finally tagged in Shelton Benjamin, which prompted Edge to try and get into the ring. Shelton, however, gave Edge a right hand, knocking him down. Edge got up, he was knocked down again. CM Punk finally got up and came at Shelton with clothesline, and the All Street Star (came up with that because he used to be involved with guns and gang violence in SC) ducked and hit a backdrop suplex on Punk. Shelton made the cover, but Punk was able to reach back and hold the ropes, forcing Shelton to get off. Shelton did so, and then lifted Punk and set him up in the corner. When walking off, he saw that Edge got up, and he went behind him and took him down by crashing the back of Edge's head into his knee. CM, though, found that as an opening to attack again, and he quickly dropkicked Shelton Benjamin. CM stood there grinning, and his girlfriend Maria was smiling and clapping despite the boos, as was Edge's girlfriend Lita. I guess she liked CM's move so much she forgot about Cena being on the other side. That was a bit of a mistake, as John was able to come from behind and throw CM over the top rope. John, still impatiently wanting to kick CM's ass, went down to the outside, but quickly saw Maria. John and Maria looked at one another for a long while, the Doctor of Thuganomics with a look of longing for her to at least be his friend again, and Maria now had that apologetic, miserable look on her face again. Lita came over to her and at first it seemed like she was trying to console her, then she leaned sideways after hearing CM say something. She went up into the ring towards Shelton, which distracted the referee, and as John and Maria were distracted by their somewhat passionate staredown, CM low blowed John, and Maria was shocked out of the moment. She didn't know whether to feel good for CM Punk or to feel bad for John. CM rolled John into the ring, then went in himself, and got on top of John's back and started slapping him in the side of the head. He finally came off and locked in a Boston crab on Cena, forcing the Master of Word Life to scream in pain. However, this was soon spelled over, as Shelton Benjamin issued a sidekick to the side of CM's head!

This took him down to the outside, and Edge finally got up himself, taking the opportunity to try to give Shelton a Spear. However, Shelton, right in front of the turnbuckle post, sidestepped Edge. Edge ended up screaming in pain from the shoulder meeting the post. Shelton, though, soon put Edge in position leaning forward against the turnbuckle, with his back facing the opposite side. Shelton walked off for a while, then charged at Edge from behind and hit him with a Stinger Splash. Shelton got Edge into a backward roll through clutch cover. The referee counted it. 1… 2… thre-no! Edge managed to kick out at the last split second! CM got into the ring, and he got hit with an Exploder suplex by Shelton! The Best Damn Athlete Period was on a roll! Shelton saw Edge getting up, then irishwhipped him, and stepped sideways a little bit. One thinks he was going to have Edge run into his T-Bone cover suplex, but instead, Shelton redirected Edge right into Cena for a Spear! Shelton saw it, and had a shocked look on his face, as he could not believe he had just thrown Edge into Spearing his partner! Edge, though, noticed it a moment thereafter, and looked up at Shelton with a grin on his face. Shelton, though, shoved Edge aside and came to Cena, trying to help him up to his feet and asking him if he was okay. After he finally got him up on his feet, Shelton suddenly locked in position and hit his T-Bone cover suplex on Cena! Much to the fans' disapproval, Shelton Benjamin has just betrayed John Cena! CM Punk just got up, and CM saw what just happened. He, Edge, and Shelton looked back and forth at one another and all grinned, Shelton doing hi-fives with his partners in crime and supposed opponents. They told Shelton to go outside and relax, and he did exactly so, laughing along with Lita and Mick Foley, while at the same time trying to get Maria to cheer up. CM and Edge picked up Cena, and set up Cena on the second turnbuckle facing the crowd. CM got on the top turnbuckle, then underhooked Cena's arms, and leapt forward off with a Pedigree off the top! At the same time, the ref was counting down Shelton and Cena for Shelton Benjamin being on the outside. It just got to ten, and the bell rang with Mick Foley, Lita, Shelton, Edge, and CM Punk smiling.

"Here are your winners, CM Punk and Edge!" Lilian Garcia announced, leading to a resounding chorus of boos, as Shelton, Mick, Lita, and Maria walked into the ring. Maria, who was really not that much into it, started feeling more at home when her boyfriend was right next to her. The sextet of enemies now all raised their hands high up in the air, Maria fully going along with it by now. I guess she must have thought they were getting positive attention. But not exactly. CM and Maria kissed passionately in the middle of the ring, and so did Edge and Lita. Although Maria was disturbed when she looked down at John Cena, CM snapped her out of it, and these six baddies were smiling in the middle of the ring.

a/n: Interesting chapter, huh? Shelton being the partner, then betraying John Cena, must have been a very unexpected touch. But I'm wondering where you all think I'm going with this… sometimes I don't even know… I have to look at the IM chat that I saved when I was writing the layout to my friend…

Anyway, that's it for this chapter. I'm gonna start writing the next one now, but I'm not exactly going to finish by the end of this night. Wonder what DX has planned for Edge and Mick Foley, though. Anyway, peace out, peeps.

-P. Dizzle.


	3. I Demand Answers

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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a/n: Well, first of all, I want to clear up some stuff before I begin. Kiora Storm, I see you seem to have pointed out in your review that I may change tenses (past tense, present tense, etc.) or persons (first person, second person, third person) at times. Well, when I change tenses, it's probably usually during entrances, such as the D-X entrance from Chapter 2. And when I change to first and second persons, I am merely making (guess) personal insert comments. I guess that application of charisma is just my style. Oh, yeah, and you can probably figure out which of my parentheses are crowd reactions and which are not.

Oh, and also, I've decided that I am going to use this past Raw (5/15, real show) to incorporate it within this story, starting with this chapter.

EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk, so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts.

**Chapter 3: I Demand Answers**

Date & Show: July 10, 2006 WWE Monday Night Raw

The night began on Monday Night Raw wtih "No Chance In Hell", the theme music of WWE Chairman Vince McMahon. Met with a reaction which quickly changed from cheers to boos, Mr. McMahon came out to the ring ready for business and strutting the same way he always does, the same way which could tell you that even if he was wearing a full body mask without any previous hints, you would know it was Mr. McMahon. It was in this usual greedy old man power walk that Vince made his way to the ring and got a microphone, ready to address the fans.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to WWE Monday Night Raw!" Vince yelled out, receiving cheers from the fans for this. "Now, we have a little bit of business to handle and talk about here tonight. And that business, quite frankly, is the draft lottery between split brands that is supposed to be happening around this time of year at the latest in the WWE. See, this year, I'm afraid that we may not have any draft lottery. (insert minimal boos) This is as a result of the fact that quite frankly, we haven't had any need for it, and we haven't had any time for it this year, between everything that has gone on. But then again, I didn't come out here for the sole reason of talking about the draft. I also want to talk about the big time event, of WWE Summerslam, that is coming up this August. See, Summerslam is one of the four major cross-brand pay-per-view events of the year, the prize event of the summer, which means obviously, it's very important. And even though I haven't decided on a main event for the WWE Heavyweight Championship, I do know that I'm going to add a bit of a special twist to this year's Summerslam, and that special twist is that each and every WWE/world championship belt on either Raw or Smackdown will be up for grabs or have some bearing upon it from at least one of the matches on the card! (insert cheers) Now, the first title that I've already decided what kind of title shot shall decide it is a match for the Intercontinental Championship, which Charlie Haas took out from the person of his former tag team partner, Shelton Benjamin, just 15 nights ago at Vengeance. That match was actually one of the highlights of the world, unlike the matchup between… let's be honest, that WWE Championship match was between D-Generation X and John Cena. But to the point, Shelton Benjamin will get a shot at being the #1 contender for the Intercontinental Title, and this is how he will-"

But before Vincent Kennedy McMahon could ever finish his point, John Cena's music, "My Time Is Now", came on, and out came the Doctor of Thuganomics, his usual spark of energy firing up the crowd. Surprisingly enough, Stacy Keibler came out after him, clapping her hands. Perhaps this was the beginning of a new pairing, a thought evidently expressed as the fans cheered even louder when they saw her. However, after his little energy burst, Cena noticed Vince, and as he and Stacy walked down the ramp, his demeanor suddenly changed to a strict one. He walked into the ring first, via steps and ropes. Stacy Keibler's crossing the ropes was still slow and sexy, but not as much, and not intended to be so, as she was also really serious on this one.

"Well, Mr. Cena, what can I do for you?" Vince asked in a professional tone, as if he did not notice or care about Cena's stern face towards him.

"Don't play games with me, Mr. McMahon!" Cena rushingly quieted the boss, prompting the fans to cheer him on. "Look, Vince. I could cut a whole big promo and use my rappin' wits on you right now, but I'm gon' keep this short and simple so that your egotistical ass can get the picture. You and everybody out here saw exactly what happened last week. Shelton Benjamin, my own tag team partner, jumped me and betrayed me in the match against Edge and CM Punk, and he laid me there for his lil' top rope Pedigree thing, I don't know what it's called. And next thing you know, I hear you comin' out, talkin' about how you're makin' Shelton Benjamin the #1 contender for the Intercontinental Title. I am sick of this shit. I'm tellin' you right now, Darth Sidious McMahon, I think you knew what Shelty was gon' do. And if that's the case, I got no choice but to whoop your ass, cause even though you look like a businessman, you've got no class! (insert cheers) And I'm-a tell you right now, Vince; ever heard of Bret Hart? Cause I gotta rep him on this one and tear you apart." (insert cheers) Mr. McMahon looked completely stunned at this point.

"And, you had to bring up Bret Hart… why?" McMahon asked.

"Ain't you screwin' me over on this?" Cena asked back.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I think you're insinuating that I actually had something to do with Shelton Benjamin's little trick in that match against CM Punk and Edge," Vince said in a panic, stating the obvious. "Listen to me, John; do you think I'm actually dumb enough so as to screw one of the top Superstars in my company over some new guy that has never wrestled in a WWE ring before? Look at me, Cena. I saw what happened last week. I know what Shelton did was wrong. Unfortunately, that has nothing to do with the Intercontinental Title shot he could be getting against Charlie Haas at Summerslam. (insert boos) But I will take care of that problem."

"How?" Stacy asked, stepping up in front of Cena and grabbing the mic.

"Well, if it isn't my former personal assistant, Stacy Keibler," Vince said with a smile on his face.

"Do not get cute with me. I want an answer. How are you going to solve our little problem, before it becomes an even bigger problem?" Stacy asked Vince.

"Well, how about this? Tonight, it will be a six-man tag team match," Vince began. "It will feature the team of CM Punk, Edge, and Shelton Benjamin. (insert boos) And they will be going up against… John Cena. (insert mostly cheers) Teaming along side John Cena, will be… the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels! (insert cheers) And their tag team partner, the King of Kings, Triple H! (insert cheers) It's Punk, Edge, and Benjamin vs. D-Generation X and John Cena, in our main event! Now, good luck to you, Cena, and as Mick Foley used to say, have a nice day!" Following that announcement, Vince's music went back on, and the WWE Chairman of the Board walked out of the ring with the same charming and gracious smile on his face as he had talking to them last week, but this time, everyone was watching, so he could not change his face as he walked to the back. John and Stacy smiled happily in the ring, knowing that this was his opportunity to get revenge on all three of those suckas. But then; if Shelton Benjamin would betray him, how is he supposed to work with two guys like D-Generation X?

That question was answered when Shawn Michaels and Triple H were seen inside their D-X locker room. Trips was sitting down, with Shawn standing over him, as they were looking over inside the Raw magazine for this past month, where they were actually on the cover.

"That, quite frankly, was one of my favorite DX moments, even though I never got to be in on that one," Shawn recalled, in reference to one of the great moments of the faction. "But the second parody? You do that again, I might just have to superkick ya."

"Hey, I can't take any Sweet Chin Music. I'm the WWE Champion," Triple H joked right back. "But… hey, lookie here. There's the time, when back on May 15th, Shane was holding you for me to hit you with a sledgehammer. Remember that?"

"Yeah, and then you made me look at you because you wanted me to see it comin', then you went for it, I dropped down out of the way, and Shane-O-Mac just got macced in the face," Shawn recalled with a smile on his face, which was spoiled by the next statement

"What's even funnier about this is, Vince, Shane, and even you actually had some instants in your life where you actually thought that was an accident," Trips said, laughing. Just then, somebody knocked on the door.

"You gonna go get that Shawn?" Trips asked, to which Shawn gave a simple, nonchalant, "Yeah." Just as so, the Showstopper did get the door, to find himself standing before the 100 Ass-Kickin' Babe, Trish Stratus. After they exchanged greetings, Trish walked into the locker room and Shawn closed the door. Triple H looked up to see that it was Trish and put a small smile on his face.

"So, Trishie, what drags you here all of a sudden?" Trips asked her. Shawn looked crossly at the Game as if to say, _"That's my line!"_ or _"That's what I was gonna say!"_ while his buddy looked back at him with a grin on his face. Shawn then slapped a hand over his forehead.

"O… kay, but seriously. What's on my mind, you asked, right? Well, I'm sure you guys know by now that you've got a six-man tag team matchup against CM Punk, Edge, and Shelton Benjamin, and that your tag team partner is John Cena," Trish said, re-informing them so as to start getting to her point.

"And your point is…? Because the simple fact that we're gonna have to team up with John Cena is actually starting to make me sick," Trips explained to her as he put down his magazine and stood up, making sure to raise his voice so that she knew what he was saying.

"My point is, that I want to come out there with you guys," Trish revealed. The two DX members looked at her and at each other with confused glances, which she saw and was pretty flustered by. "What? All I said was that I want to go out there with you two. What's wrong with that?"

"Well, for one, that's not exactly a statement that doesn't require an explanation," Shawn started. "Also, you still haven't managed to take the Women's Championship back from Mickie James."

"And is there a major reason why that's supposed to matter?" Trish asked in all seriousness. "Look, I know that Mick and Lita might get in the way, and if last week is any indication, Punk is gonna use his own girlfriend Maria to rip at John Cena's heart and get in cheap shots on him. And I know you don't really care much for John, but he is your partner tonight."

"Trish. We know. You're in, kid," Trips ultimately decided, putting a hand on each of her shoulders.

"Looks to me like there's only one thing to do. We're going to have to meet up with him before the match," Shawn decided, finally taking charge in this situation. "He and Stacy are probably in the locker room right now. I'm pretty confident that's where we'll find them. Let's go." It was on that note that Shawn led Trish and Trips out of the DX locker room. The show left for commercial break, but let's ignore that point and just go see the adventures of D-Generation X as they tried to find John Cena. As the three were walking around, they found a couple of backstage workers.

"Hey, guys. Could you tell us where John Cena's locker room is at?" Triple H asked them.

"Go across the interview area and take the left before the curtains. The locker room's a little further down that hall on the left side," one of the workers said, directing them to John Cena.

"Thanks, guy," Trips said half-jokingly. "Come on, let's go." On that note, he took the lead go and took the exact directions required to get to John Cena. Maria was actually conducting an interview with Women's Champion Mickie James about a tag team match with Victoria against Beth Phoenix and Torrie Wilson next, and CM Punk was visible in the distance. Seeing that as they crossed the interview area, the Cerebral Assassin decided to take advantage of the opportunity and tap Maria's ass right in front of Punk's face. Once DX finally crossed ways with Punk, all of them stopped, and Maria clear abandoned the interview and went to her boyfriend's side.

"Hey, your girlfriend's got a nice ass," Triple H noted.

"Yeah, well I'm gonna be kicking yours," Punk threatened.

"Not with that imitation Pedigree, what do you call it again?" Trips asked in careless question.

"The Pepsi Plunge," Punk answered in a not-playing-around tone. Trips tipped his eyebrows to show that he was impressed with the name, following which he splacked Punk straight in the face, knocking him down and answering a lot of critics about whether DX would work. Maria crouched to check on her boyfriend but at the same time watched out for DX. Trish and Michaels looked at Triple H with confused gazes, which he shrugged off before telling them, "Let's keep going."

Stacy Keibler and John Cena were talking about the match in Cena's locker room, when a knock came on John's door. "Come in!" he invited, only to find that it was Trish Stratus and DX coming in.

"I was waitin' for you guys to come in," John said.

"Shut up," Trips commanded in frustration. "Just so you know, Cena, we've got your back. And we want to know if you've got ours."

In response, Cena smiled and extended his hand to Triple H. Shawn and Trish looked at him so as to say that he'd better do it, even though he never looked at either of them to find out, since he pretty much already knew he had to do that. After what seemed like sixteen minutes rather than sixteen seconds, the Game finally shook John Cena's hand, before walking off and leaving. Trish came behind him, but Shawn stayed back for a little while.

"You can probably tell he still doesn't trust you because of the title," Shawn explained.

"Oh, I'll go for it when I'm ready. But right now, I'm not even close. I've got only one goal in mind right now, and that's to drive CM Punk straight to hell and not get Punk'd in," Cena replied, his tone changing to become more serious in the middle of this statement.

"Well, you're in luck," Shawn informed his younger friend. "That's something we can help you on just this time. See ya out there." On that note, Shawn walked out of the room and could soon be heard screaming, "Wait for me!" to his DX partners, who had walked a bit far ahead of him.

Once it became main event time, "This Fire Burns" came on, and out came CM Punk, followed by his sweet little girlfriend, "the Bodacious Brunette" Maria. Maria was dressed in one of her hot dresses as usual, while CM stuck with his Straight Edge 24 jersey and red, black and white PUNK shorts, along with the usual protective gear. They didn't do any parading taunts when walking down the ramp, but they looked happy together, coming out hand in hand. Instead, the people were divided, as the amount that booed Punk and the amount that cheered Maria was exactly the same. After they both got in the ring through steps and ropes, Maria did her little "blowing kisses" motion and Punk the music stopped and people began chanting "CM SUCKS!" However, another part of the audience sounded off a similar chant of "CENA SUCKS!" because there were still a few that didn't like John Cena. Punk and Maria were confused as to what the heck was going on, but the Straight Edge Wrestling Superstar had to go on.

"Well, it seems obviously that I've ruffled some feathers since coming here to WWE," Punk noticed. "But really, I've been ruffling feathers with the WWE fans about Maria since the moment it was ever released that she and I are dating in the first place. Why? Because everybody's got a big agenda of WWE Superstars who they say she should be going out with. For example, people think that Maria and Carlito would make a cute couple if he wasn't out spitting in people's faces, and trust me, when he spat in hers, I wished I was a part of Raw so I could kick his ass. ("what") Others think that Maria should be guided by Triple H, even though that's not a whole lot of people. ("what") Some think that Maria and Shawn Michaels have a little bit of a charismatic chemistry, and even disregard the fact that she has me and Shawn Michaels has Whisper, basically saying that they should commit double adultery to be with each other. By the way, they said the same thing about my friends Edge and Lita, and what happened? E&L happened, double adultery and all. It came through in real life, and now everybody that wanted to see them together wants to destroy them. (insert "ohh"s) But there are two pairing ideas, which are quite frankly the two most popular, and most irritating pairings to me. Some say Maria should go to Smackdown and start hooking up with that womanizing, egotistical, third generation embarrassment Randy Orton, (insert boos and screaming girls) and evidently from your reaction, most of these are girls that drool, dream, and swoon over him like they even have a chance of seeing her or themselves with him for real. But the next one is by far the one that pisses me off, because this is somebody I barely knew, but that I figured I could trust as a friend. Many people think that Maria should actually consider that 'calm-down kiss' from the match vs. Edge and Lita and start going out with that no-good thug John Cena. (insert cheers while Maria stops smiling at the "no good thug" part) The weird thing about it is, he wanted that the whole time himself. Shows you how fickle the WWE fans really are. (insert boos) And as for the tag team match tonight? Cena's been getting in our way of being happy together long enough, and now I've come to find that Triple H is so jealous of the fact that my Pepsi Plunge is a better double underhook facebuster finisher than his Pedigree, now he's gotta tick me off by tapping my girlfriend's ass right in front of me. (insert cheers) Cena! DX! Shelton, Edge, and I are gonna destroy you three in the middle of this ring as soon as this bell rings in the next five minutes! Because you may not understand this, being the, um… as my partner Edge would put it, _chumpstains_ that you are, but I am "Straight Edge 24/7" CM Punk. And that means for 24 hours a day, seven days a week, I'm drug-free, alcohol-free, and better than you!"

That last statement being cheered on by both the fans and Maria (out of sheer pride at her boyfriend, momentarily forgetting the one he was better than was Cena) was the end of Punk's promo, as he put down the mic, his music came back on, and he went up on the turnbuckle and did the X across the chest. The music then stopped for that of Shelton Benjamin, following which he was greeted by boos, coming down in the same cocky demeanor you always see out of him. Walking down in stride, Benjamin walked up the steps and entered through the ropes, after which he went on a turnbuckle and raised his arms up high. Then, Edge's music came on, and a few cheers, as well as a few boos, greeted the smoke that filled up the stage. That greeting was extended towards Edge and Lita as they came out of the smoke together, doing their little arm wrenching dance pose that found Lita in Edge's arms. The two walked down hand in and, then both slid into the ring. After Lita came on her knees and to her feet, Edge finally got up to one knee to hold her waist close to his face. The two got up and did their usual poses on turnbuckles.

After this, the D-Generation X music came on, leading to to a blasted roof as the DX-Trish trio came down. And, surprise surprise! She had changed her outfit, now wearing a DX shirt! The three of them walked down to the middle of the ramp, Trish front and center, then she stopped them, after which the three of them did the "suck it" crotch chop three times and set off the X fireworks at the stage. Each of them got in the ring their own habitual way, Shawn and Trish joined Trips on the apron, and all three of them did the crotch chop and set off the fireworks three more times. After that, John Cena's music came on, and the Doctor of Thuganomics was accompanied by the Empress of Legs. Maria's heart began to cringe at that point as she was down at ringside with Lita in their boyfriends' corner. Lita noticed and tried to console her. Cena came out in his usual hyper way, while Stacy stood more smiling and preserved. Once Cena walked down the ramp, though, he quickly took off his shirt, cap, and Chain Gang spinner medallion and ran his way right into the ring, starting to come after CM Punk. However, DX was able to hold him back before it started a brawl in the middle of this ring. Trish finally came down to ringside to greet Stacy and leave with her, as John was being instructed heavily by Michaels and Trips that the Showstopper was going to start this match. CM Punk had already decided on himself. The bell finally rang, and here we go, the match has finally begun.

Shawn Michaels and CM Punk not looked each other down, as the people cheered, awaiting some spectacular stuff to come out from these two. Punk and Shawn got into a grapple, following which Shawn got CM in a headlock. Punk staggered backward into the ropes and used that momentum to break free and send Michaels running to the other side. Once Shawn came back, Punk lowered himself and the rope so that Shawn could go over and out, but the Heartbreak Kid skinned the cat using the middle rope to keep himself afloat as Punk was boasting. However, he noticed when Shawn got back into the ring and looked at him in complete surprise, being impressed with the noble abilities of Shawn Michaels. They met in the center of the ring again, to which Punk tried to do a spinning drop toe hold. Shawn jumped over it and landed on his feet. Punk quickly got up. Michaels charged in after him, Punk went for a monkey toss, Shawn landed on his feet, wrenched Punk's arms, Punk somersaulted down, spun right back up, ended up behind Shawn Michaels in a hammerlock. Michaels reversed it, so Punk was in the hammerlock. Michaels shoved Punk forward and went backwards himself. Both guys went off the ropes and crashed in the middle of the ring with the same move, a cross body. Punk ended up on top, however, due to more forward momentum, and Shawn had to kick out after two. The two men finally got up and looked at each other, impressed with their skills. The fans cheered on in equal impressed emotion. Punk and Michaels retreated to their own corners, CM tagging in Edge and Shawn tagging in Triple H.

Both Edge and the Game entered the ring slowly, then were about to lock up themselves, when Edge hit Trips on the side of the leg, forcing him to go down a little bit, then hit him with right hands to the face and kicks in the midsection, backing him into the corner with the very same assault ride. Edge walked off proudly and then got in Cena's face, doing the "You can't see me" taunt. This distracted the referee, but Edge had let Triple H get up, something he didn't find out until after he got kicked and suplexed. Trips picked up Edge and set him up in the corner, hitting him with several cold right hands. He then irishwhipped him, and sent him over the top with a big back body drop. Edge landed on his feet on the outside, but had no balance whatsoever, and so he fell forward, almost headfirst into the security rail, but he didn't quite hit it. Lita came over to her boyfriend in concern for his safety, while Triple H was waiting for him and egging him to come on. The Cena-referee argument was already over by now, but Shelton Benjamin went on the top rope. Trips turned around to notice Shelton, but could not get out of the way of his missile dropkick off the top, so the Game was knocked down. When he got up, Benjamin jumped around, happy about what he just did, until John Cena came in, sped by the referee, and clotheslined his lights out. Cena then egged CM Punk to come on into the ring, to which Punk happily obliged, and ran straight into a Cena arm drag and seated armbar which lasted only a few seconds. The referee had control of the action a little bit, but was officially confused as to who the legal man was, so he just went with Punk and Cena, who were performng their moves right here. Shawn came into the ring and helped Triple H get out of the center by dragging him to his corner and slapping his head a little bit to wake him up. CM Punk answered Cena's arm drag and armbar by doing one of his own, which also lasted only a few seconds.

Punk and Cena then began to get in each other's faces, something you could see Maria was reacting badly to, and it soon boiled over, as the two men engaged in a battle of the fists. Cena eventually won out, after which he irishwhipped Punk, and issued him a snap powerslam, although it was not as fast as Samoa Joe's, something that Punk knew all about. Punk slowly got up, Cena stalking away at him to strike him down. Cena went to irishwhip Punk again, but this time, Punk reversed it, went for a clothesline, Cena ducked, Cena ran off the other side and hit a flying shoulder block on Punk. Cena covered Punk, 1, 2, Edge came into the ring and broke things up. Shawn Michaels, who was at the apron, finally decided it was time to do something. He saw Edge beating away at Cena and Punk getting up, so he decided to hit Punk with Sweet Chin Music. Unfortunately for him, Punk blocked it. but Shawn used the other leg to kick him straight in the face with an Enzuiguri! Triple H and Benjamin now got up, and Trips kicked Shelton in the midsection, then set him up for the Pedigree, but Shelton back body dropped him over the ropes to the outside in much the same manner as he himself had done Edge. Speaking of Edge, Edge and Shelton both now directed their attention at Shawn Michaels, and Edge foolishly came to him and received Sweet Chin Music for his efforts! As Edge talked smack to Michaels, CM got up and prepared to hit him from behind, but John Cena quickly sprang to his feet and tackled Punk to the ground, then proceeded to go Wolverine on him and hit him with vicious mounted lefts and rights! A panicked Maria finally came into the ring and told John to stop, which indeed did halt him right in his tracks. Cena got off of Punk, and finally looked at Maria. The two were once again engaged in a silent, crowd-stirring, emotional staredown, just like they had been last week. Edge and Shawn watched this to see what what happen, until Lita shouted something to Edge, to which he nodded and went off the ropes. Shawn, however, noticed and splattered Edge with Sweet Chin Music!

But then, Shawn ended up splacked with a steel chair by someone. That someone was… UMAGA! This led to the disqualification of Edge, Punk, and Benjamin. Maria and John noticed Umaga in the ring, following which John went after him, but ended up getting hit with the chair himself! Maria showed how terribly worried she was for John as she came down and begged Umaga off before he could continue his assault. The Samoan Bulldozer looked at the pleading face of the Bodacious Brunette and, in a surprising show of mercy, let go of the chair and began to walk off, allowing Maria to check on John, and predominantly, her boyfriend Punk. But then, someone else's music came on and interrupted this whole scene. That music, much to the confusion of everyone, was that of the WWE Chairman, Vince McMahon. Vince came out and stood at the ramp, before his music died out and he began to speak.

"This is becoming intolerable!" Vince screamed out. "I'm getting sick and tired of seeing this stain falling over my main events! Now, sure, I don't like John Cena, I severely dislike Triple H, and my feelings about Shawn Michaels are nothing short of resentment, but I still think you guys all need to understand. This is Monday Night Raw, not a slaughterhouse! (insert small cheers) And I'm getting sick of seeing people make Raw into a slaughterhouse! (insert cheers) Therefore, I have decided to make an executive decision. Next week on Raw, it's going to be Umaga, and his tag team partners next week, Shelton Benjamin, and the woman that injured Beth Phoenix earlier tonight, the Women's Champion, Mickie James! And they will be taking on the assumed three members of D-Generation X! Now everyone, get the hell out of my ring!"

With that shocking announcement, things were starting to turn up. As Umaga complained in his native language and Shelton, who had just begun to get up, came to his new partner's side in shock, Vince stood with an evil smile on his face. It was total carnage otherwise. Edge was laid out by a superkick. Lita was checking on him. Shawn Michaels was laid out by Umaga's chair, and Trish Stratus checked on him. Triple H just got up on the outside and came over to Trish. CM Punk and John Cena were laid out almost right next to each other, and Maria was checking on CM Punk, but not John Cena, because Stacy Keibler was there for that task. Girls and Triple H checking on downed guys was in the ring the world over, the only ones consciously standing being Shelton and Umaga, and they just found out they were teaming with one another and Mickie James against DX next week.

a/n: What's up with this tag team match? What will come of it? How can Mickie, Shelton and Umaga beat DX? And what the hell is going on!?!?

Those are a number of good questions I've got you guys asking. And I finally updated for the first time in a week, something I'm pretty glad about. But one thing's for sure: the plot begins to thicken and establish next chapter, and you do not want to miss it. Judgment Day's on tonight, so that's another PPV to beat my big brother in as far as predictions. From Summerslam 2005 all the way up to today, I've won all except for two PPVs. And those are Taboo Tuesday, which I didn't even bother to take up beacuse of its heavy voting process, and Backlash 2006, in which we tied at 3-4. But this time, I'm pretty confident I'm finally gonna beat his ass. So, I'll catch y'all in a few days when I finally update again. Peace out, peeps.

-P. Dizzle.


	4. Truth

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk, so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts.

Oh, and the low blow Mickie gave to Trish? Edited out. Common sense should've told me along time ago girl on girl low blows can't be as effective as somebody giving me a low blow. (and I've felt one before) However, I needed 5abaku no Gaara and a period of looking back and making changes in order to tel me that… which is actually kinda funny, don't ya think peeps?

**Chapter 4: Truth**

Date & Show: July 17, 2006 WWE Monday Night Raw

Vince McMahon came out to the ring to start off tonight's Raw to "No Chance In Hell", feeling pretty damn good about himself and strutting his way into the ring. Due to the respect he had earned for his outburst of not wanting Raw to become a slaughterhouse, the fan reaction was pretty positive compared to what it had been ever since he went on talking smack about the Bret Hart DVD. McMahon smiled openly and brashly, obviously telling all that the Chairman was really happy for some reason. He came into the ring via the steps and the ropes, then finally got a microphone, prompting the people in the back to stop his music, for the big man on campus was ready to speak.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, I've officially got to begin the night by saying what a fine night it is tonight!" he began, getting himself a few fine chants. "A really awesome bid of cheers for the WWE god for the first time in a long time, ("what") business finally getting handled out here, ("what") I don't end up getting lost in the middle of hell today? ("what") I have to tell you, this is one of my best days as the Chairman in a long, long time. (insert cheers) But tonight, it's going to be a night of some serious business to attend to. See, tonight, there's going to be a fatal four way match on Raw. That fatal four way match will be a match to determine the fate of the WWE Intercontinental Championship. I know Charlie Haas beat Shelton Benjamin for the Intercontinental Title fair and square at Vengeance, and I also know that Shelton Benjamin betrayed John Cena. Which is what has allowed me to make my decision. My decision is really very simple, and it is that my little previous claim about Shelton getting his rematch for the title against Haas will only take place at Summerslam if he, Umaga, and Mickie James can beat Trish Stratus and D-Generation X tonight in the six-person mixed tag team match. (insert small cheers) If DX and Trish win, that means Trish gets a shot at the Women's Championship against Mickie James at Summerslam. (insert cheers) So, this marks it off as the first ever six-person mixed gender "clash of title opportunities" tag team matchup tonight. (insert small cheers) Now, that being said, I also have a little something special planned for the former WWE Heavyweight Champion, John Cena. See, he's going to go through a serious pathway with Summerslam smack dab in the middle. And this pathway could conclude… with him getting Maria, and the WWE Championship, back, by the end of September. (insert mostly cheers) See, here's exactly how it's going to go down. John Cena will get a one-on-one match against a Raw Superstar. That match, will be next week. If he can win that match, he will be able to progress to the next match of my little game, which is going to come… pretty much on any given Raw between now and Summerslam. There, he will face another Raw Superstar. (insert small cheers) If he can beat that certain Superstar, he moves on to Summeslam, to face "Straight Edge 24/7" CM Punk. If he beats CM Punk, then John Cena will spend the next 24 hours of the world with Maria to try to woo her over, after which she will decide the fate of her relationship with both CM Punk, and John Cena. (insert cheers) If it turns out she opts anywhere that is in John Cena's favor compared to the strict ruling that CM Punk has placed against him, then John Cena will get a free shot at the WWE Heavyweight Championship at the next Raw pay-per-view, Unforgiven! (insert cheers) And these statements are written down in stone and pretty much booked by now, meaning that the action will be for real!"

The cheers abounded from this statement from Vince McMahon, and it was a rare face moment for the WWE Chairman as he crossed the ropes, got down from the apron, and walked up the ramp to exit the area with a traditional grace and style that should belong to his wife instead oh himself.

Meanwhile, backstage, Stacy Keibler was walking across the hall, when she stopped and asked one of the workers if they had seen John Cena. She received a kind reply of "he's registered as being in the building, but I haven't seen him all day", to which she smiled a bit of a disappointed smile as she thanked the worker. She turned to continue walking, but ran into another soft body, however much more muscular as well. Looking into dark eyes, and seeing red and black hair with a widow's peak hairline, she could quickly see that it was "the Vicious Vixen" Victoria that she had just run into. The two stared each other down, Stacy seeming a bit more worried than Victoria, who merely looked at her and smirked, letting out a "Heh" sound before walking past her. Stacy sighed, shook that off, and headed for John Cena's locker room, which was just a little further down the hall. She then knocked on the door, called John's name, then opened the door and walked in.

Around the same time this was happened, Shawn Michaels was just chilling around another area of backstage, looking for someone himself. A mature yet bubbly female voice staggered him a little bit with a pop-up "Hey." He jumped a little bit, looking to his right to see Trish Stratus, and she looked like she was ready to wrestle.

"Hey, Trish. So I see you're ready for action tonight," Shawn noted.

"Yep. I can't wait to get my hands on Mickie James, or to team with you guys," Trish replied. "This is gonna be one of the greatest moments in WWE history. I mean, really. Imagine this. The only six-time Women's Champion ever, teaming up with the first ever Grand Slam Champion and the eleven-time WWE Champion. This is gonna be great!"

"Yeah, but Trish. I know that what I'm about to say may not sound like one of your favorite things to hear, but-"

"Don't worry. I can take it," Trish said.

"This match is not going to be any easier because of our past accomplishments," Shawn said as if trying to tell Trish something important that she missed when in fact she knew this all along. "In fact, these guys do not want us to add anything to those great accomplishments. Therefore, they're going to go out there and do everything they can-"

"To whoop us. Yeah, I know. But we just have to whoop them first," Trish stated, cutting him off to finish his own sentence. Shawn seemed a little annoyed by that to an extent, and she could see it in his face. "What?"

"Nevermind, kid," Shawn said with a chuckle. "And in case you're wondering where Triple H is, well he's out… preparing something that he's gonna use for the match. Yeah. And he told me not to tell you what it is; he wants to prepare you to be shocked."

"Come on, you can't give me one clue?" Trish asked.

"Nope. See ya out there," Shawn said somewhat nonchalantly, then grinned and walked off. This prompted Trish to make a clever comeback.

"Yeah, well you never were such a sexy boy anyway!" she said, mocking at his entrance theme, which (btw) he created ten years ago.

"Some people might disagree, including the only one that really, _really_ matters there honey!" Shawn shot back, already ready. Both of them had slight grins on their faces. This was going to be fun.

Meanwhile, we had Edge, Lita, and Mick Foley inside their locker room. Foley was looking at one of his hardcore weapons, while Edge was resting himself while Lita massaged him. The routine was cut into when a knock came on the door.

"Come in!" Edge invited. He opened the door to find Maria and CM Punk.

"Maria and Punk, what's up!" Edge said, grinning and finally getting up as he exchanged a firm handshake and shoulder bump with his friend, then took Maria and actually kissed her in the lips, drawing stares of ire from everyone else in the room.

"What?" he asked with a laughing tone on his face. "I did that to test you. Can you guys not take it so seriously?" To that, his girlfriend Lita snorted in reply and rolled her eyes.

"You know if I didn't consider you my friend or guess you were kidding, you've be swept with blood with one of Mick's weapons by now, so watch it,"

"Hey, speaking of which, nice job getting Umaga on our side last week. Just like I told you," Edge braged, turning to Mick.

"You _told_ me? _You_ told _me_? Hey, I came up with that one myself, so I don't know why you're trying to lie in front of Maria and Punk, but I came up with that idea. You 'telling me to' was a mere piece of encouragement to, it was never a command," Mick rebutted. "Anyway, what do you guys think about the Umaga-Shelton match?"

"I'm gonna love watching that," CM replied. "Shelton's got a good record against Triple H, including beating him out in that 3-on-2 two-title match thing."

"I think the phrase 'double gold' would work pretty well here," Edge commented, reaching in his bags and finding his shades.

"Should I make a run-in, and, you know, make Trish Stratus know who I am or something?" Lita asked.

"Well, if it pleases you, then please do. Not kissing your ass, but I got nothing to say you shouldn't," Mick replied.

"Well, thank you, Mick," Lita said. Edge shot a glare at the Hardcore Legend, which he quickly noticed with a shrug of his own.

"Is a cheap pop so illegal when I get it from one person, just because it's your incredibly hot girlfriend?" Mick asked in excuse of himself.

"Well, at least you say it to my face, which means I can trust you," Edge replied, not exactly loosening his stance a whole lot.

Meanwhile, about twenty something minutes before the main event, back to Stacy and Cena. They walked out of John's locker room, both smiling about something.

"Hey, thanks for the talk," John said. "I actually kinda needed that."

"Good thing I stayed in, then, after seeing you just deliberately left your door open for 25 minutes," Stacy noted. "But then again, I didn't exactly have anything to do, and I didn't want to risk running into Victoria again."

"Wait, you ran into Victoria?" he asked her.

"Yeah. And she looked at me and gave me a smirk, then she just walked off," Stacy answered in recall. "She didn't even have Candice with her or anything."

"Wait, no Candice? I guess she's finally gettin' around to the fact that Candies really ain't much more'n Vince and Shane's lil' skank. I think I gotta go now. Prepare for whoever Vince has got set up for me next week. See ya next week, or if you call between now and then."

"Don't you want to watch the main event?"

"Oh yeah, good point."

Shelton Benjamin's music came on, and he came out with his arms around a big figure for the first time since his mama was on Raw and able to walk, before health problems pretty much invaded her life. Except this time, it was a big man. Apparently, Shelton and Umaga made friends over the week. Umaga slid into the ring and went around it screaming, while Shelton came in through steps and ropes and raised his arms in pre-determined victory. Then, out came Mickie James to her own music, jumping around in a miinskirt outfit as usual, including getting on the turnbuckle and raising her own arms as if she had no care in the world. Small mixed reactions followed each of these entrances. Then came on Trish Stratus's music, leading to high cheers, after which she came out smiling and pointing to her fans the whole way down the ramp and into the ring. In the ring, she did the pointing to the sky thing three times, then she even pointed to Mickie and did the crotch chop, earning a few more high pops. Shawn Michaels' music came on, and out he came, showing the usual controlled aggression in his entrance, including in the prayer tone he set off the fireworks with. He slid into the ring, then jogged around a little bit before coming to the center and did the sexy boy pose for the first time in a small while outside the video games. When he finally got up from that position, he did the DX crotch chop several times towards the enemy team, then turned back and said to Trish, "that's how you do it." After this, the lights died out, driving fans in pandemonium, and possibly driving expectations of the Undertaker.

But the music that followed was Drowning Pool's version of "The Game", and the lights came on flashing ever so slightly, and out came Triple H, standing there. After awhile, he soaked his head with water, tipped his head up to take some in, threw away the bottle, and spit out some of the water, before doing the DX crotch chop before the lyrics to the song actually started and setting off fireworks going straight up on either side of him, before finally starting to walk. As the lights went into a multi-colored, club-like state, Trips walked down the ramp, then went the way opposite the steps and hit the apron facing the crowd there, where he looked to each side and spat out the rest of the water in trademark fashion. He then came into the ring and walked to that turnbuckle on the other side, then raised and stretched his arms in that "I am the Game!" pose, before coming down and directing Trish and Michaels to either side of him, facing the fans. After making sure they were all set, the three then went ahead and did three DX crotch chops, setting off the X fireworks. The entire music and special lighting faded, and the three Degenerates (by now you could assume that Trish was part of the group as well) allowed their opponents to get into the ring, after which the bell rang. Triple H pointed to Shelton Benjamin, feeling as if he had a bit of a score to settle with him for the exact reasons that had been mentioned by Edge and co. Shawn and Trish were about to head to the apron, but before doing so, aided Trips in telling the opposition, once again, to "suck it".

Finally, Triple H and Benjamin stepped up to one another, but didn't completely get in each other's faces, because Shelton went down and dropkicked Trips' knees, knocking him forwards and down. Shelton quickly tagged in Umaga, who waited for Triple H to get back up, then hit him with an overhead drop suplex. Umaga ran off the ropes and hit him with a running body splash, then stayed on for the cover, but Trips kicked out after two. Umaga dragged Triple H back to Shelton, who tagged himself in as Umaga held the Game slightly up by the head, allowing Shelton to get to work on his opponent. Benjamin kicked Triple H in the midsection, then hit him with a right hand, forcing him to stagger back into the corner. Shelton came over to Trips and lifted him up to sitting down on the second rope, then stood on it and tried to hook him up for a superplex. Apparently, Shelton really underestimated Triple H becaue of all the times he beat him, because he really thought that it was going to work, and that Triple H would led that happen, this fast. This was proven to be a mistake, as with a couple of strong right hands to the side of the gut, Trips forced Shelton to not only let go, but fall flat on his back. Trips took the somewhat short chance to get off the turnbuckle and out of the corner, walking towards a rising Shelton and getting a turnaround right hand to the face for it, leading to a small exchange of rights in which Shelton had the advantage. Shelton tried to irishwhip Trips as a result, but the Game countered, then waited for Benjamin to come right back to him before sending him over the top and out of the ring. Trish Stratus then came into the ring, distracting the referee as Shawn Michaels went to the other side of the post, then walked closer to Benjamin and finally leapt at him in a cross body motion, taking Shelton down. Once Shawn got up, he came into the ring and started talking some trash to Umaga and Mickie, prompting Umaga to chase him until Mickie finally got him to beg off, thinking maybe it was a trap. Both Trish and Shawn finally got back at the apron, as it took awhile for Benjamin to get back up and into the ring. That while, of course, was shorter than the ten count.

Benjamin ran towards Umaga and went off the ropes (Umaga tagged himself in) and hit a leaping clothesline on Triple H, before getting out of the ring. Umaga dropped a forearm straight into the chest of Triple H, then ran off the ropes and dropped another forearm to the chest. Umaga ran off the ropes facing Triple H's head and dropped his own head right into it, causing the Game to shake uncontrollably in the center of the ring for a few seconds. However, it failed to bust him open. The Samoan Bulldozer saw that it was about time to end this, so he raised his taped thumb up to the fans, letting them know what he was going for; that thumb poke to the throat, the Samoan Spike. Umaga went for the Samoan Spike when Triple H got up and his throat was in sight, but the Game blocked it with one hand and even used the other hand to play a little bit with Umaga's taped right thumb as if it was a king of analog stick! After this, he made Umaga hit himself in the chest with the thumb! That move was more annoying than it was painful, but it bought Trips enough time to go to Shawn Michaels tag him in.

Michaels came into the ring and hit Umaga with a couple of right hands, then ran off the ropes and caught him with a leaping forearm. However, even this only made Umaga move back, but did not make him fall. Instead, he used this reverse momentum to go off the ropes and hit Michaels with a clothesline as soon as he stood up. Umaga then went down and choked Michaels on the ground before the referee went on his five count, which Umaga released at four. At that point, the around-400 pound Samoan felt it necessary to tag in Shelton Benjamin. Michaels rolled over on his back, and was starting to get up, so Shelton went on the turnbuckle and leapt off halfway across the ring into a serious leg drop, stopping Shawn right in his tracks! At that point, Trish saw it as necessary to get into the ring for some reason, but before she could do anything, Shelton got on his feet, stopped her, then forced a kiss on her right in front of Triple H! The Game was now pissed, as there was nothing like that he allowed to happen in front of him, so he got down off the apron, and as soon as the kiss was over, he tripped Shelton, dragged him down, and pretty much beat the crap out of him on the outside, as if in heel mode. Umaga came over to him and tried to lunge after him, but Trips kicked him in the midsection and did the chin breaker onto the knee, then rolled Shelton back into the ring. The referee did not count for the count out on Shelton due to really not wanting to let Triple H's team win that way, but that didn't matter, as now Shawn had a free opportunity to tag in someone. He tagged in Trish Stratus, prompting Mickie James to get into the ring as well. The two met in the center of the ring as Trish finally clotheslined Mickie. Mickie James got back up, and took another clothesline. Mickie got back up, Trish this time backed her into the ropes with forearms, then met her return from irishwhip with a non-release hurracanrana, leading to a cover. 1, 2, Mickie kicked out at the count of two. Trish got up, but Mickie stayed on her knees in the ring as Shelton began to get up, which distracted the referee and Trish. Mickie took advantage by dragging Trish head first into the middle turnbuckle, after which Shelton took down Shawn with a cheap shot and Umaga tripped up the Game from behind and sent him into the steel steps. Finally, Shelton left the ring, he and Umaga looked at each other hovering over each of their opponents. They looked back into the ring, where Mickie had Trish situated and was stalking away at her. Once Trish got up, Mickie hit her with that high leaping DDT, the MickieDT, then covered her. 1… 2… 3.

"Here are your winners, Shelton Benjamin, Umaga, and the WWE Women's Champion, Mickie James!"

At that sound, Mickie did not start to celebrate. Instead, she instructed Shelton and Umaga to get Triple H and Shawn Michaels back into the ring so they the three could beat on their anti-authoritative opponents some more. However, right then and there, John Cena stormed out to stop the whole mess. He clotheslined Shelton Benjamin at a furious speed, dropkicked a charging Umaga straight into the ground, and even lifted Mickie James's skirt and smacked her hard one time, causing her to run away in a combination of embarrassment and pain! Shelton got up, Cena lifted him up for an F-U, but before that could happen, Edge and CM Punk came bum-rushing into the ring, without their girlfriends, and assaulted Cena, starting with a Spear from Edge! Punk and Edge picked him up after that, then shoved him into the corner and seated him at the second turnbuckle. Edge went up there, hooked an arm around Cena's head, and Punk carried Edge on his shoulders at the same time. Punk went down for an electric chair as soon as Edge moved for the superplex, resulting in the former Edge & Christian/triple threat match maneuver, the Stack-Superplex! Punk and Edge both got up slowly, but not before Rob Van Dam came out and got ready to beat on them. RVD came out, hit Edge in the head with a spinning heel kick. CM Punk lunged at One of a Kind, but RVD ducked it and hit some forearms on Punk backing him into the corner. He irishwhipped him to the other corner, at the same time ran towards him with a shoulder thrust into Punk's stomach area. When RVD backed out of the shoulder thrust, he flipped Punk upside down in the tree of woe position, hit him with three shoulder thrusts, somersaulted backwards, then ran at him with another running shoulder thrust, knocking CM Punk down! As soon as Rob got up, Edge was running at him to hit him with a Spear, but Rob sidestepped and pushed Edge forward, smacking his shoulder hard against the post! Mick Foley then came down to the ring with a ruler, which he swung at RVD, but the Zen Soldier blocked it, took the ruler, and smacked Foley in the head with it, making Mick fall down and roll out of the ring, sprawled up on the floor! Then, things began to get a little suspicious, when Candice Michelle appeared. She came towards the ring, in her full entrance outfit (wand included). Candice stopped and turned around on the apron, then lifted up her outfit, showing off her ass and shaking it a little bit. Rob did not advance towards her, but still watched in the center of the ring, until something shot him in the back and knocked him right back down. It was… a steel chair shot… from none other than… **Shane McMahon**, the prodigal son of Vince! Shane let go of the steel chair as Candice finally entered the ring, and did his dollar-dollar dance in the middle of the ring, pissing the fans off. Shane finally stopped, looked at Candice, then kissed her in the middle of the ring for all the fans to see. You know that received as many boos as the last part. Then, out came Vince McMahon, looking a bit confused as to what was going on around here, leading to cheers again. Not in his usual hot strut, a befuddled Vince walked down the ramp, on the steps, then into the ring, as his son looked at him asking what was going on and what was he doing here. Vince looked around the ring, saw all the carnage that Shane and Candice now stood as the kings of, then looked at his son,after which the threesome of Vince, Shane, and Candice, exchanged grins and a group hug, forcing the fans to boo even louder now as they now realized that this was mere screwage. Around that same time, Shelton, Umaga, Edge, Punk, and Foley began to get up. Vince got a microphone and now took his opportunity to speak.

"I'm sure you people thought I had nothing to do with this? I'm sure you must have forgotten that Shelton Benjamin and Umaga sold their souls to me a few weeks after WrestleMania?" Vince began, arousing the boos of the world for his words. "Well, guess what! That's exactly a lesson to Triple H, and Shawn Michaels, and to that thug John Cena and anybody that ever decides to go up against me! I tried to employ a Zero Tolernace policy, and it didn't work. I tried creating my own personal religion, and everybody thought I was being ridiculous! Well, am I being ridiculous now, huh? I ask you. I ask each and every one of you, is McMahonism ridiculous now? What you see before you is the proof that McMahonism is the theology of the future, and will soon be carried on as the theology of the masses! You are looking at the God of McMahonism, Vincent Kennedy McMahon! (insert loud boos) And standing alongside me are my son, the prodigy of McMahonism, 'Shane-O-Mac' Shane McMahon! The disciples of McMahonism; CM Punk, Maria, Edge, and Lita! The followers of McMahonism: Candice Michelle, Umaga, and Shelton Benjamin! The elders of McMahonism; Mick Foley and Mickie James! Collectively, we are known as the House of McMahonism! (insert huge boos) And I promise you, by the time we are done with all this insubordinate insurrection, thou shalt all exalt in the name of me, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, and the product of my excellence, the House of McMahonism!"

On that note, Vince McMahon's music came on, and the arena was filled with disgusted jeers the world over. McMahonism has been returned to the world, and this time, the ridiculous theology of Vince McMahon saying that he is greater than God himself actually has a damn stable behind it. All the members (except Maria, Lita, and Mickie, who were not out here) exchanged hugs, handshakes, and smiles the world over, then walked out to the back together, but not before seeing some of the enemies they left in the ring get up, and lifting all arms in the air in victory in response. Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Trish Stratus, and John Cena specifically, looked at the newly formed House of McMahonism with absolutely scornful and determined glances, telling all the McMahonists that this wasn't over, including the God himself. However, as luck would have it, Vince and his newfound "church" were too happy to notice either those three or the fans.

Immediately after we went off the air, Stacy Keibler went to the curtains area looking for John and the others, but before being able to pass through and be seen by the fans as well as her friends, she was called by a voice; the voice of Shane McMahon. Stacy stopped and looked at Shane with a scornful glance of her own, except it wasn't just him she was looking at. She was also glaring at Vince, and all the rest of the McMahonists, who were right with him.

"Why don't you just admit already how much you love John Cena?" Shane shot at her in a taunting disrespect only these few people were capable of. She opened her mouth to speak, but Shane beat her to the punch as he continued. "Matter of fact, I know why not, so don't even answer that. You won't admit it because you know damn well that we'll screw you if you do! Isn't that right?"

"Hey, Shane! Put a pacifier in that mouth of yours, you big baby! You all think you're so great with your little McMahonism, but I guarantee you there's going to be a great many people in the back, let alone in the audience, that are strong enough to stand up against you! And I wouldn't be surprised if one of them had a position of power!" she immediately retorted, showing an inner strength to repulse Vince which shocked all the Missionaries.

"Yeah, tough talk, coming from a woman who makes a living off of showing off her legs!" Edge finally retorted.

"Yeah, well, there's two women in your little stable that make a living off of opening their legs!" Stacy shot back. "One of them is in the middle of this parade, and your girlfriend's the other one!" Edge was severely pissed off. In fact, he felt like going after Stacy and beating her up at that point. However, CM Punk held him back, and so did Shelton and Mick. Finally, he calmed down, and the McMahonists walked off in the _row of limos with windows tinted_ that were all set up for them. Just then, Trips, Shawn, Trish and Cena finally showed up, calling Stacy from behind.

"Hey, Stacy. You don't look so good. What just happened?" Trips asked.

"They tried to diss me, but I had to shoot them back," Stacy answered. "Oh, and by the way: I think I have a great idea to shut down the little ship that is McMahonism, or at least force them into war."

"Well, whatever's cookin' in that sweet little brain o' yours must finally be somethin' bad, then," Cena said, trying to joke somewhat, even though he and everyone else knew it wasn't working. "And so, I have to ask. What's the plan?"

"They talked about an insubordinate insurrection, right? So let's bring them… Insurrexion."

a/n: Finally, I got us to the starting main point in this story! And I know for a fact a whole bunch of people hate me right now, because I just had John Cena, DX, and RVD get destroyed out there, as well as brought back the term "McMahonism", which had been profusely used in the weeks after Mania, then was completely forgotten about. (literally thank God, I was gonna die of laughter if that kept on)

EDIT: I had "insurgent" before for Foley and James, but as most of you know, I decided against that because I realized "insurgent" means "rebel". Then I decided on "apostle", which I then realized was too much like "disciple". So instead I took a page from Charmed and decided to call them "elders" of McMahonism.

-P. Dizzle.


	5. The Battle Lines Are Drawn

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk, so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts.

**Chapter 5: The Battle Lines Are Drawn**

Date & Show: July 24, 2006 WWE Monday Night Raw

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the WWE Chairman, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, and his House of McMahonism!" Lilian Garcia shouted to the crowd on Raw tonight. She did not have any kind of smile on her face whatsoever from saying this. In fact, it seemed completely like her announcent was forced, unlike the boos that now enchanted this arena as a result. Then, "No Chance In Hell" came on, except a different version of it: the version that was used by the Corporate Ministry of 1999, complete with the evil Shane laughs in the middle of it. A red carpet layout was apparent for the McMahonists' entrance, similar to that of Kane and Lita's "wedding from hell" back in 2004, as well as slow, dark, multicolored lighting that was supposed to make this seem holy.

First, in accordance, Edge and CM Punk came out with their girlfriends. These were the four disciples. They were followed by the three followers, Shelton Benjamin, Candice Michelle, and Umaga. Following them were the two elders, Mick Foley and Mickie James. And after them, we saw the prodigal son, Shane Brandon McMahon, followed by his father, the absolute ruler of McMahonism, Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Everyone in the arena booed raucously, as Vince just caused himself to become more hated than ever before. No special antics or taunts of any kind followed the entrance of McMahonism, except when Vince walked into the ring, he raised his arms as if viciously victorious over something, and each of the four turnbuckle posts burst in flames, as if emphasizing the great godliness of Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Again, the arena erupted in boos once they saw this, once more, mockery of God. The music died out, and the lighting reverted to normal, but the "holy flames of McMahonism" remained, as all of the McMahonists stood behind Vince, who spoke at the podium set up mid-ring.

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much, for being here in the very first sermon of McMahonism," Vince said, introducing the pompous name for this segment, leading to even further boos. (a/n: man, I'm gonna enjoy writing this chapter) "Tonight, we embark on a brand new crusade. A crusade to bring the world down at the feet of me, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, and the product of my excellence, the House of McMahonism. (insert huge boos) Now, let me refresh your memory as to what I said the first time I came up with this idea to reveal to you my practice of over forty years, by telling you once again, the concept that is McMahonism. (insert boos) I am the lord, master, and god of all sports entertainment! And all that participate in any manner, whether or not it's in the ring or you buy a ticket, you will worship me! (insert huge boos) But then again, all of you here tonight are heathens, and you do not understand my religion, and you are going to see everything you hold dear get screwed if you keep this up. (insert boos) But enough about bragging, it is time for revealing exactly what I am here to proclaim. I am here to proclaim the fact, that I am the greatest wrestling promoter of all time, and that I am a freakin' genius! (insert minimal boos) I mean, look at everything that started this mess.

First, the night I first introduced McMahonism to you all, Umaga's former manager, Armando Alejandro Estrada, whom I would personally rather refer to as "Double A Estrada", came to me and revealed to me his conversion to McMahonism in order to help me by suggesting a match between his wrestler Umaga and Shawn Michaels. Right after that, Shelton Benjamin came to me begging for help in his Intercontinental Championship situation after his loss to Charlie Haas, and soon, he got desperate, got on his knees, and also converted to McMahonism. Now, seeing as how Umaga and Shelton weren't seen with me since then, and my little mcblessing to Shelton was kind of minimal, and he still lost the Intercontinental Championship, people saw these conversions as an afterthought and competely forgot about them. Then came CM Punk. Maria's boyfriend. He was, and still is, an extremely talented wrestler, but I saw no special reason to pull him out of our Ohio Valley Wrestling developmental program just yet. That was, until my son Shane came to me with some extremely valuable information. He'd noticed that Maria was getting close to that no-good thug piece of crap John Cena, and that Cena seemed to be more enamored with Maria than the other way around. That gave us the same conclusion that it no doubt would give CM Punk; that John Cena was in love with Maria and that he might try to take Maria away from CM Punk. Finally finding our big reason, Shane and I came to CM Punk, called him up to Raw from OVW, then introduced him to the facts, and just as I knew he would, "Straight Edge 24/7" CM Punk wisely converted to the same conclusion as myself.

At that point, Shane McMahon convinced Edge to form a tag team with CM Punk, which as you can see, was one of the great successes of McMahonism. (insert boos) He needed something so as to get him back on his feet after he and Mick Foley lost the Hardcore Championship to ECW's Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer at One Night Stand. Of course, this tag team arrangement also included each man's girlfriend, as well as Mick Foley, whose veteran leadership caused him to become elder rather than disciple like the four of them. Mickie James also earned that distinction when one of the most angelic women on the planet, our own Candice Michelle, came to her and convinced her to join up with us following the booking of her six-person tag team match. I've got to say, Mickie might be what you all consider psycho, but her determination - by far unappreciated by Trish Stratus as well as each and every one of you, you are all to blame for this now, don't hack at Mickie James! (insert boos) - her determination… inspired me and my son Shane. It kinda reminded me of myself, and how my own determination led to World Wrestling Entertainment becoming the top wrestling promotion in the history of the world. Therefore, I have the right to put some sports entertainment in this, it is not my fault. No pun intended, Snitsky, you are not to come in here to beat my ass. Thank you. Anyway, finally, the burning theology of McMahonism may finally allow its flames to rest for tonight. (the flames came off as if on Vince's command) Now, we must take our leave. Enjoy the show, and remember this special hint: if myself or any of my greater subjects behind me appear again tonight, make sure that you bow down. (insert boos) Thank you very much, good night, enjoy the show."

But before any of them could walk to leave, John Cena's music came on, and this finally relieved crowd cheered their asses off, knowing that this pompous ass in the ring who claimed to be greater than God was just about to be shown what for. Cena came out with a microphone in hand, decked out in Chain Gang paraphernalia, then stood at the stage and got ready to speak as the music died out.

"Vince, man, what's up! I see you've been gatherin' yourself quite a religion! I mean, you got yourself, ("what") your son, ("what") Maria, ("what") and eight of the most spineless bitches to ever step in the ring, kissing your ass and bowing their heads to the art of listening to you claim yourself superior to the man upstairs!" Cena began his long retort, the Chain Gang soldiers in the audience fully behind him. "Do you know how many people are upset by this? (insert cheers) Do you have any frickin' clue how many of these people are absolutely pissed off by all the crap you've been sayin' out here in the middle of this ring!? (insert loud cheers) Well, I don't think you get it, do you! You say it's you that made WWE the biggest thing ever? Well, who responded to your ideas and gave any of us anything to be here about? The WWE fans. (insert cheers) And quite frankly, I'm beginnin' to get sick and tired of sittin' here and waitin' on you talkin' about McMahonism as if you were some kinda god, when somebody could be takin' up this time for some really good wrestling."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute!" Mick Foley, who just got a microphone, suddenly burst in disagreement. The fans surrounded him with rambunctious sounds of disapproval. "This moment was about Vince McMahon, and it was about us, and it was about the establishment of the greatest, most domineering, and purest faction in the history of sports entertainment! (insert boos) Why the hell do we have to be visited, right at the end of our segment, by a lovesick fool who still can't seem to get over the fact that the girl he's in love with does not want to be with him because she's got a far superior boyfriend in CM Punk?" (insert boos)

"I think you might-a missed som'n here, Mickster," Cena informed him, stopping the people's boos and turning them into slight cheers. "First of all, I never heard Maria say she'd never wanna be wit' me, or that CM Punk is far superior to me. If you keep tryin' to put words in her mouth, my mouth, or anybody else's mouth I care about, I'll tear up this guardrail and let some o' my soldiers bum rush this ring to kick all your asses, as long as somebody carries Ria to safety. But what you missed is, I didn't come her to beg Ria to take me and ditch CM Punk. Everybody here already knows why I would never do that to ya, Ria. You're too good for that stuff. (insert affectionate "awww"s) Anyway, back to business, back to business, I'd rather not get teary-eyed here. I came here to introduce to you my army. My soldiers. My _Chain… Gang_! (insert cheers) The ones who shall represent my worldwide fan base by joining me in making the lives of all - voluntary - McMahonists a living hell. (insert cheers) But first, I wanna bring out someone. Someone who's had my back despite her WWE contract basically bein' just about expired. Which resulted in an extension thanks to our new General Manager of Raw, who she has also taken the special precaution of introducing sometime next week. Allow me to introduce to you, somebody that I like to call the American Duchess, the Empress of Legs, Stacy Keibler!"

At this sound, the entrance theme "Legs" came on, and out Stacy came, spinning at the stage, with a business suit on the likes of which she wore at WCW and as Vince's assistant back in the days. She waved to the McMahonists a little bit, then accepted John's microphone as he offered it to her.

"Hi, Vince! I guess you didn't think you'd see me around here again, did you?" Stacy asked, leading to people cheering once again. Lita then took a microphone and made the following retort:

"Hey, I heard about that comment you said last week about me not being able to close my legs! I think you're just jealous that I have a very satisfying boyfriend, and you don't even have one at all!"

"For your information, I have a boyfriend. He's just not a wrestler, which means even if we break up, he can't betray me like Edge betrayed his wife, like he will no doubt betray you in a couple of years, and like Test, Scott Steiner, and Randy Orton betrayed me," Stacy successfully pointed out, shutting Lita up. "Now, I know something, and Trish Stratus knows something, that somebody up there (coughCandicecough) needs to learn really fast before she ends up getting screwed over. We know for a fact that Vince McMahon is about making an assistant out of the next naive hot girl he sees make her way into the company, then throwing her into the wind like Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z threw himself into the wind trying to destroy that pink puffball monster, I think his name is something Buu."

"I didn't actually know you watched action cartoons," Shane said in a witty retort.

"Actually, a fan gave me that idea, something you ought to consider before _we_ all take over the company because of your inability to show _them_ any respect," Stacy said, leading to the fans showing their ability to show _her_ respect. "Now, I could keep killing you with exact responses to all your lines, but I have an easier idea. How about I introduce to you the first member of John Cena's Chain Gang, a man the WWE Board of Directors allowed to transfer to Raw from Smackdown, the Man Who Will Not Die, Matt Hardy!"

When Matt Hardy's music came on, the entire arena was erupting in flames of cheers! Hardy came out in his MH shirt, waving his trademark hand wave with his left hand, then dropping it and throwing up his V1 hand sign with his right hand. As the fans cheered throughout this piece, Matt shook hands with and hugged his good friend John Cena, following which he got a sweet embrace from a sweetie known as Stacy. The music died down, then he raised up his V1 once again, raising the temperature in the arena once again.

"Alright! I think I need to make something clear," Hardy began, starting up cheers for just a moment before a certain someone up there interrupted.

"Oh great, the man of many bitching words and little mic skills is here," Edge quickly interrupted him. "And you guys call us that word."

"Edge, I think now would be as good a time as any to shut up before I rip up this guardrail and allow my Mattitude Followers to come out here and beat the living hell out of you," Matt threatened, not yelling at the top of his lungs, but still sound and solid. "As for why I decided to accept Stacy's offer, as well as the transfer notice from the Board of Directors, to come back to Raw and team up with John Cena in the Chain Gang against McMahonism, before you ask that question, I would just like to say for the record, that John Cena is my good friend, and I have a lot of respect for him. (insert cheers) And on top of that, we both have the very same claim to fame driving us to take out McMahonism's little flame, and that is our belief that McMahonism supports love only when it is tainted by some situtional circumstance that causes it to hurt others. It's written all over the face of this little union of yours, Vince. You want static proof? Take a look at your four disciples of McMahonism. (insert cheers) You said it yourself. Your son Shane spied on the scene, noticed that Cena and Maria were getting close, then used that to convince CM Punk, as well as yourselves, that Cena was in love with Maria and might take her away from him! That was for real, and it was noticed by the boss, which made it that much more effective to CM Punk. He felt no choice but to be protective of his girlfriend by forcing her own best friend away from her and breaking the heart of one of the top Superstars here on Raw. A feud of chaos reigns in John Cena's heart and in his business. But that's not the end of it right there. I mentioned CM Punk and Maria, but did you honestly think I forgot about Edge and Lita? (insert "You Screwed Matt!" chants directed at the McMahonists) Exactly! That is exactly the nature of the situtaion that I am about to describe! Edge, Vince, Lita, you screwed Matt! (insert loud cheers) Do I really need to go on a recall about this? No, but it might help, so I will. Following New Year's Revolution 2005, when Lita tore her ACL and lost the Women's Championship to DX's own Trish Stratus, (insert cheers) I was on the verge of making my comeback to WWE from my own injury for the Money in the Bank ladder match at WrestleMania 21, the same Money in the Bank ladder match that Edge won that allowed him to spend three sweet weeks as the WWE Champion."

"Damnit, Hardy, shut the hell up! You're not supposed to say anything about that!" Vince yelled in frustrated fury.

"The Board of Directors gave him full right to recall the entire story if he needed to, so you really need to shut up Vince," Stacy said, stopping the Chairman right in his tracks as the Sensei of Mattitude got set to (and did) continue.

"Thank you, Stacy. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah, a week after Chris Jericho first put up the idea of the Money in the Bank ladder match, five men were to meet in Eric Bischoff's locker room to hear about their being in this match, as well as their individiual matches against one another. Those five men were Shelton Benjamin, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Edge, and Christian, who was facing the sixth opponent in a one on one match that was next. Christian was met with Kane coming out for that match. Well, you want the true lineup? It should have been me making my comeback to compete in the ladder match at WrestleMania! That was a waste of a scene, all because of a certain fact that WWE offices and I discovered: Edge and Lita had been having an affair since around the time of her injury. (insert boos) WWE felt that putting me and Edge together would have resulted in injury for the both of us, so they forced me to sit back because Edge was already there, and I would have to make a comeback. (insert minimal boos) WWE wanted me to shut up about it, but instead, I chose to notify my fans of the affair, feeling that my pride and my connection with my Mattitude Followers was much more important than the rules of a man who apparently a year later has taken pride in calling himself superior to God. And even though he fired me for three months and resulted in my career going down the drain, I can see now that I was absolutely right! (insert cheers) What was I doing on Smackdown? Being a Velocity refill? I hated it! I had friends on Smackdown, friends that didn't betray me like Edge did, but I hated the fact that instead of being at the top where I deserved to be, I was being relegated to the minor leagues of sports entertainment, Velocity! And why was I there? For three simple reasons; reason number one is because of you, Lita! You who I loved and trusted more and more as time went on, until I could never suspect you to do something like this, and then you went ahead and cheated on me with a guy from Canada just because he looks cool in shades and calls himself Rated R. To make things worse, he happened to be one of my closest friends at the time. Reason number two is because of you, Edge. A married man who used to be married toVal Venis's sister, and who found a second beautiful wife after that stopped working out, without the drama of the both of you being involved in wrestling, until you decided to throw it all away in an action of adultery which screwed me, and then you laughed in my face."

"Yeah, and I'll still laugh in your face! Don't you see everybody here is bored, Matt?" Edge shot, arousing boos. "That stuff was last year!"

"I know that stuff was last year, but the state of my career sure as hell isn't indicative of that, is it? I've been getting run down the drain ever since you forced me out to Smackdown at Homecoming, Edge! Which sort of reminds me of my third reason that I was being relegated to Velocity: because of you… VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON!" Matt screamed out louder than ever before, which was also reflected in the high fanatic response. "You forced me to shut off the most personal information in the history of my life to my fans, knowing that I am a man who loves to connect with the people I entertain! When you saw that I couldn't resist but tell them about this, you fired me, and you made sure Eric Bischoff gave every advantage possible to Edge and Lita so that I finally got rooted out to dry! But I survived long enough to force a return to Raw to fight back, and do you know why?"

"This is the same story over and over again, Matt! We sent you to Smackdown, and you had bad luck, because you are a loser! So what if I cheated on you with Edge? I look a whole lot better with him than I ever did with you!" Lita popped out with another comment.

"I beg to differ right there, **ho**," Cena said, taking the microphone on his side. "See, he (points to Matt) allowed you to be your extreme self. He (points to Edge) forces you to be the slut of Raw! And as for why this guy survived the crap y'all put him through for the past year and a half? Easy! Because he is the partner that (fans sing along with the next part) will, not, die! (insert cheers) Now, as for another surprise member to the Chain Gang, I would like to introduce to yo, a man that would speak right now, but we already got one more promo to do, and I think the lady of the Chain Gang would have sum'n real important to say. Lemme just sum up this guy right quick just a sec here. He was, and is, a part of the Japanese professional wrestling faction Kaientai, which was named by member Dick Togo in honor of the troops that basically spearheaded the Meiji Restoration in Japan. He came here to what was then the World Wrestling Federation somewhere around 1997 by himself, however, and when the Light Heavyweight Championship came to this company, he became its first winner. He was one of the last two Kaientai members left in WWE, and he is _not_ the Smackdown #1 Announcer! He basically owns his own wrestling dojo, which along with his accomplishments is why I like to call him the Dojo Master. Ladies and gentlemen, the first member of Kaientai to ever come to WWE, the first ever WWE Light Heavyweight Champion, Taka Michinoku!"

Taka's music suddenly came on, erupting the crowd in surprise. How the hell did John Cena, or Stacy, or whoever, run into him!? Taka came out on a a leather jacket along with his three-color tights that he wore the firts time he was in WWE. Vince was absolutely shocked at who he was seeing on a WWE stage, even though some of his people were brushing him off because he was a cruiserweight. After handshakes with John, Matt, and Stacy, Taka took the microphone on his side to say a little something.

"It is time for wrestling to have its own Meiji Revolution here by Raw! So if McMahonism is good God, we are evil!" he declared, pleasing the people greatly. "And the lady of Chain Gang is… uh, who is she?" he then asked John, who replied by asking for the mic. Taka gave it to him.

"The Vicious Vixen Victoria!" Cena suddenly yelled, and the crowd was electrified at this announcement! On top of that, the music that came on was "All The Things She Said", Victoria's first theme! This drove many of the fans to insane cheering and McMahonists speechless. Victoria came out in the look she used to come out more in, tearaway workout clothes included. She ripped off the workout gear (she had wrestling gear under it), pointed with an unfriendly glare to the wide-eyed Candice Michelle, then took the microphone as the music stopped.

"Well, don't we find ourselves as a funny little crossroads?" Victoria asked first. "First, I'm a fitness model turning wrestler, alongside Trish Stratus, who somehow received a much faster road to success than me. As luck would have it, turns out she was only given the spot because Vince McMahon thought she looked good enough to be the first of many adulterous public affairs he would have over the past six years. When he finally got bored with her, he dumped her wide open. Eventually, I took a shine to being the 1-time Head Ho when Godfather decided to dump the ho-train project for a censoring organization. This gave me my only real exposure in WWE before a mentor of mine became impressed with me and decided to take me along with her. I proved to be even better than her, when I took my revenge upon Trish for what I thought was her deserting me and looking out for herself, which resulted in us feuding pretty much my entire career… until now. (insert small cheers) I'll admit, I was a bit… overly driven. I can even say I was a psycho back then. Just like… Mickie James. (insert small cheers) But that's only because I'm an extremely tough, no-nonsense bitch by nature. Which is why I never liked the arrangement that my good friend Torrie offered me to join up with her and Candice Michelle. I knew the direction WWE was heading in, and I figured that I was going to get the short end of the stick, and Torrie was going to be… really a wallflower, so that Candice could get all the media attention. But I kept quiet, knowing that Candice slutted herself out to Vince and already told him about it. And so, the Ladies in Pink, eventually Vince's Devils, were formed. And it went exactly as I predicted it would! Not only that, I had to sit there and take it when Candice bitched about Torrie behind her back, then planned to kick her out of the group, and even decided to have me and her start kissing during our entrance just so she could get all the spotlight on the basis of 'too hot for TV'! In case you missed what this is, Candice and Vince, this is wrestling! Not a festival to see who could be the biggest slut! (insert cheers) I've had enough of sitting back and being bombarded by Vince McMahon's little whore into doing whatever she wants. So, after I saw the whole McMahonism inception thingy last week, I immediately came to Stacy, who ran into me earlier that night, and John, figuring that they were going to set up a force to fight McMahonism. Which brings me to a point. That point is Maria. Let me ask you a really good question, sweet little Maria. Why are you on the side of these idiots in the ring? (insert cheers) Why is it that you bow down to McMahonism like the rest of these idiots in the ring? Why is it that you allow your boyfriend to basically carry you into hanging around the three prostitutes - Team M.E.L., in case you need any clues - and force you away from a virtuous man who actually cares about you, a.k.a. John Cena?"

"Are you saying I don't care about Maria? Because if you are, I'll come down there and show your friend John Cena what for!" CM wuickly interjected.

"And in that case, Maria, why do you even stay with CM Punk despite all this crap he's put you, and John Cena, and even - if he actually cares - himself through? Don't you get it? Sure, you and Punk may have had a long established love since probably before either of you showed up here, but he's growing tunnel vision. And I don't mean he's seeing a heavenly light of marriage at the end of the tunnel, either. I mean the exact opposite. Thanks to being pretty much shocked by Vince McMahon, he's become obsessed with keeping you away from John, even to the point of surrounding you with the only man here who ever actually did steal somebody else's girlfriend, the very guy that almost Speared you a few months back… twice! (insert cheers) And need I remind you of Mickie attacking you from behind during your Kiss Cam segment just because you beat her in a match? Hey, Mickie! It's one match! You won't die from losing one match! It happens in wrestling!"

"SHUT UPPPP!" Vince yelled, finally interrupting her with his second two most famous words… or should I say infamous words, because he's getting booed. "You want to embarass my McMahonists to try and tell me about what's wrong with my show!? You wanna tell me how to run my show, huh!? You wanna try to lead one of my disciples astray just because some thug thinks she's hot!?"

"It's way more than that, Vince! Don't you ever sell to Ria that that's all it is!" Cena immediately stormed.

"Again! Shut up!" Vince ordered the Chain Gang, and again getting booed. "You want to… restore women's wrestling to prominence? You want to… reenact an old Japanese reform that nobody cares about unless they watch Japanese animation? You want to… rescue the damsel in semi-distress from her obsessed boyfriend and big bad Vince McMahon? I'll give you women's wrestling! I'll give you your Meiji Wars! And I'll give you your chance to reacquire Maria! In fact, that whole thing is starting tonight! John Cena, your match tonight, to take you on the road to SummerSlam, will be against… Maria!" Immediately after these words were spoken, Maria and Cena both complained in unison, despite being on separate sides, and the boos against McMahonism became stronger than ever. "However, I do understand how unfair that matchup is, so you will not be wrestling in this match. You are not in the match as a wrestler, John Cena, you are in the match as Victoria's manager! Victoria will be the one wrestling Maria. And if Victoria, with John Cena in her corner, loses tonight's match, not only will you have no chance in hell, John Cena, of getting Maria back on your side, but Victoria, you will hear the two most dreaded words I am known for speaking: _you're fired!_"

As the "real" version of Vince's music came on, the McMahonism and Chain Gang members all looked at each other with some of the most serious gazes on their faces. Finally, in the D-Generation X locker room, the three members were watching, and pretty much disgusted with what Vince just announced.

"Can you believe this crap? Vince McMahon is gonna force Cena and Victoria to stand against Maria if John wants a chance to talk to her again, and if Victoria wants her job. This kind of stuff is why I don't kiss Vince's ass," Triple H said, starting their little cut.

"How disgusting! You know what, we should come in the ring and do 'suck it' signs until Vince decides to cut this out," Trish claimed.

"No, wait a minute!" Shawn Michaels quickly shot up. "I think we might have a much more senseful idea here. Let's try to talk some sense into Maria. That oughta do some good. Trish, you're the least DX out of all of us, so you go and do this. If the others get out there, it might be too suspicious."

"Wait! I've got a better idea. It's somewhere around yours, except they don't have to see me, or any of us," Trish explained vaguely, confusing the two as she left the locker room. Trips and Michaels looked at each other, quite the befuddled ones.

"This better be good," Trips said.

"I think it is," Shawn replied.

Later on in the show, the four disciples and two elders of McMahonism were chilling around in their locker room, and Mickie was talking to Maria about her match.

"Now, make sure that you don't let her catch you in that Widow's Peak. The minute she lifts you and tries to set you in position, you have to steal the momentum and get a roll-up cover on her. You may catch her by surprise and probably end up winning," Mickie advised her less experienced colleague.

"But I don't want Victoria fired, and I don't want-"

"your head to be broken in by the Widow's Peak, you especially don't want that, so the best idea would be to win this match if you want to save your own skull," Mickie said as she interrupted Maria. Suddenly the door opened, and the six stopped to see Rob Van Dam.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" Rob said, confusing them with a friendly greeting. "Think I can go and talk to the brunette here?"

"Oh, me? Sure. What's up?" Mickie said, walking towards Rob.

"Actually, Mickie, I didn't mean you. I meant Maria,"

"Wait a minute, what kind of crap is this!?" CM Punk shot at he stepped up to RVD's face. Rob put his arms up and backed off a little bit in response.

"I'm not looking for a fight. I just want to talk to Maria for a little bit," he continued in the same nonchalant tone. "Now, if you guys think I'm on edge about whoever shot me in the back with that chair last week, I'm not. It's cool. Everything's cool when you're Rob Van Dam. The only reason I even came out last week to stop your little beatdown was because you were doing it alongside the jerkhead and the jerkface that screwed me out of the WWE Title at ECW's One Night Stand. Individual to individual, CM Punk, I've got nothing but respect for you. I just need your girlfriend to come with me so she can help me out and do me a favor."

"If it's anything like what you think John would do to me, I'll be sure to get out of there. You can trust me. I may be all good spirits, but I'm not as stupid as I look," Maria said to CM, as if reminding or teaching him something.

"Fine, go ahead," Punk finally gave in, and he didn't look happy doing it either. Maria then left the room with Rob so that he could help her out.

"What the hell are you doing?" Edge asked Punk. "You allowed him to walk out with your girlfriend."

"You heard him. He still doesn't know that last week was Shane, and he doesn't look like he cares about finding out," Punk reasoned, fully buying into Rob's behavior.

"You've got a lot to learn about seeing beyond appearances, CM, or you might turn into the next Matt Hardy," Edge then said, advising him.

"I'm going to check it out, just in case," Mickie said. At this point, the show left for commercial break.

When it came back, we found Rob and Maria inside Mr. Monday Night's locker room.

"But if I give up the match, CM will be mad at me!" Maria said, complaining about something.

"Do you want to see the best wrestling Diva possibly in history other than Fabulous Moolah and Chyna get fired, and the best friend that loves you to be heartbroken and possibly motivated to quit so that you never see him again, just because CM Punk's gonna be mad at you for a couple of weeks if you don't let him make it happen?" Rob asked, stopping her right there. "I know exactly what Punk and Vince McMahon are counting on. They're counting on John Cena sacrificing himself and throwing away his chance at talking to you just so you can be happy and win this match. They're counting on Cena betraying his Chain Gang, betraying himself, by either screwing Victoria or letting Punk do that himself, just for you. That's what they're counting on. You're being used by Vince McMahon to destroy the Chain Gang. If you go through with this, John will be a shell of himself, and he will quit, and Victoria will be fired. The nucleus of the Chain Gang will be gone, leaving only about five people standing between Vince McMahon and Monday Night Raw becoming McMahonism prison. Do you want to see that? I don't think so."

"But I don't want to betray Punk! I love him!" Maria said, continuing to whine.

"Maria, shut about that 'you love CM Punk' crap! I know you don't love John Cena that way, but I know you care about him as a close friend, and you care about the fact that he loves you that way. I'm not asking you to betray CM Punk, or McMahonism. I'm just asking you to walk out on this match for the greater good of wrestling, and for the greater good of your best friend's life. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?" Maria nodded after that question; Rob had finally gotten his point across. "Alright. Now go out there and do the right thing. I'll see you around later." Then, he opened the door and allowed her to leave, closing the door behind her as she walked on back to her group's locker room. Somewhere in the distance, you could see Mickie James spying and frowning about.

Weird thing is, so much emphasis is put on what Maria's gonna do, but the end result did not actually reflect Maria's decision at all.

Come main event time, Maria's music came on, and met with a mixed reaction, she came out in wrestling gear with her boyfriend CM Punk behind her in street clothes. She did her usual "blowing kisses" motion at the stage, though it seemed a little bit forced this one time. She walked down the ramp, got in via steps and ropes, and as her boyfriend stayed at ringside and clapped on, she did the "blowing kisses" motion on each side of the ropes. Then, Victoria's music came on, and fans were full fledged cheering, but nobody came out after 25 seconds, causing the music to wane out. The fans booed at that sight. The music came on, and this scene of emptiness repeated itself again. Then, Victoria was shown on the titantron in the Chain Gang locker room with a blanket covering her and a pillow under her head, apparently sleeping. CM Punk got a microphone at that sight and jumped into the ring at that sight, but stopped when he saw John Cena, Matt Hardy, and Taka Michinoku getting in and seeing Victoria there on the ground.

"What are you doing sleeping? Victoria, wake up!" Matt suddenly shot at her. Nothing happened. She didn't stir at all. Matt and Taka both started to become worried at this point. They crouched down to the fallen raven-haired redhead and tried to awaken her by softly slapping her head a couple of times. Taka screamed in her ear seeing that that didn't work, but even that didn't work. They could see that Victoria was breathing, so why wasn't she responding?

"She's out like a light," Cena said from above them, causing his two male comrades to turn around. "It's over. Our whole mission… dead and gone. All beacuse she wanted to go to sleep."

"You're damn right your whole mission is dead and gone, John," Punk said in a brash tone from back inside the ring, leading to boos. "The girl you were apparently counting on to pretty much save your little dream of ogling my girlfriend is sleeping in the defining hour. She spent herself screaming at us at 9:00, and now that she's got a match, she chooses to go to sleep on you. So, Mr. McMahon. Why don't you come out here and declare Maria the winner of the match by forfeit?" As one could imagine, the fans weren't very favoring of that proposition.

"Hold on a minute, CM. Don't go getting your great lord, master, and god on us just yet. I know what really happened," Stacy's voice came from behind the curtains as she came out to the adulation of the audience. "I had special microscopic cameras installed all over the key spots in the arena that transmitted to both the arena and wherever the General Manager of Raw is. As soon as Trish told me about Rob Van Dam talking to Maria, I did this, because I knew you McMahonists would try to do something sneaky. What you did was not only sneaky, but it was vile. Take a look at this footage right here."

_The titantron showed Taka Michinoku and Matt Hardy following John Cena somewhere, after which Mickie James came into the Chain Gang locker room, closed its door, and took a steel chair and hit Victoria with it. Victoria was knocked out cold, while Mickie found a blanket and a pillow, and set the items with Victoria's body just right so that it seemed like the Vicious Vixen had voluntarily gone to sleep. Mickie then smiled with a psychotic grin and walked out of the locker room._

Back live, Stacy continued talking as a bit of pandemonium started within the crowd.

"Oh, the new General Manager already saw this. And the new General Manager declared that Maria lost the match by disqualification due to unsportsmanlike conduct performed on her behalf. So, Maria; it doesn't matter what you were actually going to do, Victoria isn't fired, and John Cena still moves on in the Path to Summerslam." This announcement generated cheers from the audience, and now, the tron showed the three members of the Chain Gang making their way to the arena with fury written all over each of their faces. CM Punk could see that, and he moved Maria behind him. She went one step further, leaving the ring for her own safety. Meanwhile, as soon as the Chain Gang made it ot of the ring, they found themselves jumped by Mick Foley and Edge. Edge hit Matt in the back of the head with a steel chair, and Mick hit John in the back with his barbed wire baseball bat. Both were knocked down in a whole lot of pain. Taka noticed and tried to come to Edge to hit him, but took a chair shot to the head for his efforts. Mick raised his right arm up high with the barbed wire in hand, and Edge raised both his arms high, the steel chair in his right hand. But before any kind of time to celebrate, Mick was shoved from behind, causing him to release the barbed wire forward towards the ring. He turned around and took a right hand from Triple H, the perpetrator of that push. Edge was about to go over and hit Trips with the steel chair and stop him, but was tapped in the shoulder by Rob Van Dam, who hit him the Van Daminator, smacking the chair straight up against Edge's head. Mick Foley rolled into the ring, where CM Punk was, and soon, Foley and Punk were both facing down Triple H. However, that did not exactly last, as Shawn Michaels came out of the crowd and into the ring, and the slugfests began! It was Michaels unloading away on Punk, and Trips on Foley. Both DX members irishwhipped both McMahonists, but Punk was the one who hung onto the ropes, stopped himself, and got down out of the ring.

Meanwhile, Triple H hit Mick with a back body drop. Mick got up, took a clothesline from Triple H. He got up again, took a diving forearm from the Heartbreak Kid. He got up again, Shawn performed a scoop slam on him. He then went up top, did the DX crotch chop four times, and dove off the top with an elbow off Mick Foley. This stirred Mick up to his feet just a little bit, until he was irishwhipped and met with a rolling spinebuster from Triple H. The fans were cheering this whole beatdown scene. Of course, the resilient Hardcore Legend picked himself up as Shawn Michaels was hyping up and tuning up the band, following which Mick received Sweet Chin Music! But instead of going down, Mick was carried by the super kick to turning around right into a kick to the gut and a Pedigree from the Game! Seeing Rob Van Dam on the top turnbuckle, Shawn made sure to roll Mick over on his back, after which Van Dam hit Foley with a Five Star Frog Splash! The DX music came back on, and as Punk escaped with his girlfriend, Trips and Shawn pointed towards them - making sure the pointing went specifically to Punk - and did the "suck it" crotch chop a few times, around the same time as RVD did his "thumbs to himself" thing. The two DX centerfolds and Rob Van Dam then stared sternly at CM Punk as the show went off the air.

a/n: This had to be my longest chapter yet. But trust me, this is not the end of the spectacle. I'm going to continue to play upon Maria and Cena's emotions, as that seems to be the cute part to the whole thing. It's probably the reason that you guys still keep reading this story, despite the whole "Missionarires of McMahonism" bit. Understand this, though. I wasn't just going for a Cena-Maria love story. I was going for a wrestling story which included… well, just look at the summary, and you'll see what I mean. Anyway, I'll see you guys around later, after I write the next chapter. Peace out.

-P. Dizzle.


	6. I’m Back and Betta than Eva!

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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a/n: Well, I'm pleased to know that my story is making such a subtle but at the same time excellent impact. I intend to continue this one, as long as I don't get overstuffed with ideas like I did with the Evolution story. Anyway, I got a comment from somebody (coughKioracough) about how Cena seemed to be overly romantic after the part where Mick interrupted him. I thought you were only talking about the "love you, you're too good for that" sentence, but I realized you were talking about both that and the long sentence before that, the one about tearing up the guardrail so his Chain Gang soldiers could come out of the stands and beat up all the McMahonists except Maria. That comment was intended to plug Cena's natural character loyalty, as well as the Chain Gang. But I do realize that that had some romantic tints in it as well. Thanks for mentioning that. Oh, and SRC, about the "smooshed together" stuff: it's massive stable vs. massive stable warfare here. You don't want it all to be based on just one thing. Those reasons everybody gave for going against McMahonism were not really as much separate stories as pieces to every character's being in this one story. That's actually part of why the original Corporate Ministry went together much better as a unit than as two feuding halves beforehand. The other part would be that both are heel stables, but that's beside the point. But then again, there's not really a whole lot of room to put everyone in each chapter now that I've got it like this, so you got a good point.

Anyway, on an off-topic note, I'm considering changing my pen name to **Packman Leader**, or maybe even **2pacman-leader**. Just a warning, in case you can't catch me under this name anymore.

EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk, so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts. Oh, and the above name change consideration is totally null and void. Thanks peeps.

**Chapter 6: I'm Back and Betta than Eva!**

Date & Show: July 31, 2006 WWE Monday Night Raw

The broadcast to the show began with Vince McMahon standing in front of the camera in his office, to make special announcement. His face on the screen was met with canned boos. Here was his announcement.

"Good evening to you all, ladies and gentlemen. And welcome, once again, to Monday Night Raw, the show whose feature Superstars are the missionaries in the House of McMahonism, prophets to the religion of the perpetually well-endowed and omnipotent machine that is the lord, master, and god of sports entertainment, the WWE Chairman, me. Vincent Kennedy McMahon. (insert boos) Now, a problem has arisen, as of last week, in the form of a great many heathens beginning to uprise against McMahonism. First, it's the lovesick thug John Cena, along with his Chain Gang of Matt Hardy, Taka Michinoku, and Victoria. Then, it's Trish Stratus, Rob Van Dam, and D-Generation X; Triple H and Shawn Michaels. But more important than all of these rebels are two people: Stacy Keibler, and the man - or woman - whose identity I do not know, who the Board of Directors has inserted as the General Manager of Raw without my consent. They have defied me, and screwed my plans, more than any superkick or Pedigree ever could! That's why I'm issuing a subpoena to Stacy Keibler, and to the General Manager of Raw. If Stacy Keibler and the General Manager of Raw do not appear before me tonight, and give me a proper explanation for their actions last week, I will punish the two of them severly by placing them in a 7-on-2 handicap tag team match against the whole entire Spirit Squad, Kane, and one of McMahonism's two elders, "the Hardcore Legend" Mick Foley! Also, in other McMahonism-related news, my follower Shelton Benjamin will take on Carlito, the man who won the fatal four way match a couple of weeks ago against Chris Masters, Lance Cade, and Eugene, to essentially join Intercontinental Champion Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin in the title match at Summerslam. Thank you very much, and as Mick Foley would say, try to have a nice day."

The Raw introductory music and fireworks came on to open this episode of Monday Night Raw, after which the ECW music came on. However, instead of Paul Heyman, or any of the ECW wrestlers, out came Joey Styles! Walking down in a suit like he usually wears at the commentary table, and with his "non-WWE" microphone, Styles came into the ring to a rambunctious reception, before making an important announcement.

"Okay, now, I know that Stacy Keibler is supposed to come out here tonight, and announce who the General Manager of Raw is, but I felt like coming out here and finally confronting Vince McMahon face to face, so that I can tell him something I've been wanting to say for the longest time!" Joey yelled, revealing his purpose, as the fans cheered and Jerry "the King" Lawler decided to become condescending to ECW once again, saying that this was a pure product of Paul Heyman ass-kissing. The real version of "No Chance In Hell" came on after a few seconds, following which Vince McMahon came out with his microphone in hand and his usual strut. He made his usual power walk over each of the steps, then got up the ropes and into the ring. Due to the fact that Vince was answering Joey Styles's challenge, the moment was cheered for.

"Well, Joey Styles. After you quit on Raw with a condescending promo about WWE and sports entertainment, which I am a god of, a couple of months ago, I'm surprise you have the balls to come out here and tell me that you're the General Manager of Raw," Vince began.

"Vince, shut up right now! I am not the General Manager of Raw, but I want to tell you something. Your McMahonism has proceeded to weird me out and piss me off more than any other wrestler or promoter ever could in the history of this business!" Styles yelled out. "Your McMahonists, Edge and Lita, screwed Rob Van Dam out of the WWE Heavyweight Championship at an ECW pay-per-view! And now, what becomes the final pop through which you reveal your little church? Candice Michelle attempts to seduce RVD but only manages to distract him, but even that is enough for your own "prodigal son", Shane McMahon, to drop RVD with a steel chair to his back! So I have my ECW reasons, but my real disappointment in the whole McMahonism thing is the fact that you make a constant mockery of God out here, every time you call yourself the lord, master and god of all sports entertainment! And just like the Chain Gang's Victoria said last week, in case you missed the memo, this is wrestling! You may call it sports entertainment, but the name in front of "Entertainment" in "World Wrestling Entertainment' is "Wrestling"! And "Wrestling" sees no place for a sanctimonious 60-year-old senile man who claims to be superior to God! (insert loud cheers) Furthermore, that is why when you established your little stable, I felt absolutely sickened by the whole thing. Which is what led me to contact Stacy Keibler and to start up the idea to ask the Chain Gang to unite with D-Generation X, as well as the recommendation for the General Manager of Raw - who, by the way is not Paul Heyman - which actually ended up taking place, thanks to consensus between the person and the Board of Directors. Let me just be the first man to legally inform you, Mr. "Almigty Lord Darth McMahon", that thanks to your starting McMahonism, you have an Insurrexion on your hands. I am the agent that officially put this Insurrexion together. And this Insurrexion features the Chain Gang, DX, the General Manager's assistant Stacy Keibler, and the General Manager of Raw, as of last week-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, who is it? Vince Russo? Dusty Rhodes? Captain America? Michael Hayes? Maybe you were lying like Eddie Guerrero (insert mixed reaction) when you said it wasn't Paul Heyman?" Vince speculated, getting the immediate answer from Styles which would shock the world:

"**_ERIC BISCHOFF!!"_**

At those words, the entire audience went crazy (once again), and Vince McMahon was frozen in his tracks, as out came the former - and now again - General Manager of Raw, Eric Aaron Bischoff, in full black hairdo and leather jacket and jeans, as if he had never been shaved by Eugene in 2004, or fired into a trash can by Vince McMahon in 2005. Bischoff had a huge smile on his face, which was actually returned by the people for the first time… well, pretty much ever. When he came into the ring, he even shook hands with a frozen McMahon for comical purposes, earning more pops in the process, before he got a mic and prepared to speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I would just like to state for the record once against that my name is Eric Bischoff, and I am proud to represent you all as the General Manager of Monday Night Raw once again because I love each and every single one of you!" Eric said, gaining his first cheap pop as the returning Raw GM. "But more important than that is why I became reinstated as the General Manager of Raw. I don't plan on wasting a lot of time here, as I'd rather spend it in my office near the locker rooms of the Insurrexion forces, so I'm gonna make a long story short. As WCW President, you disgraced me by having your son buy out my company, only to abuse WCW and drive it out of business when he failed to harness its forces correctly against WWE. As Raw General Manager the last time, you remained constantly condescendent towards me, which culminated in one of the most embarrassing nights of my life, in which you not only put me on trial for my job, but you were a completely biased judge against me, you fired my ass, and then you had John Cena toss me in a trash can! The same John Cena whose heart you've gone on to test and abuse ever since deciding to bring CM Punk here and make your self-theism of pompous circumstance into a big, happy family spearheaded by yourself and your son Shane! Therefore, Stacy Keibler contacted the Board of Directors, and contacted me, about my reinstation as the General Manager of Raw. Due to the adulterous relationship between Vince and Candice Michelle, as well as a history of this crap since Trish Stratus in 2000 - no, since screwing Bret Hart in 1997! - your wife, Linda McMahon, the Chief Executive Official of World Wrestling Entertainment, finally agreed to let me on as General Manager once again, not to take over business affairs, since that wasn't allowed without your permission, but to put a hand check on your ego, and your McMahonism, to the highest possible extent of Eric Bischoff! (insert cheers) And so, you see, that your big plan to take over this business and sound greater than even the man upstairs is backfiring all over! Tonight, I'm booking a tag team match as my first act as the General Manager of Raw. And that tag team match will be… "the Untouchable Chain Gang Leader" John Cena, and "the Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels, against the - McMahonism - tag team of Umaga and Edge! And in our main event, the only straight-edge follower of McMahonism in history, CM Punk will go one-on-one against "the Game" Triple H!"

Eric's music came back on and his fans cheered as a result of this announcement, after which he and Vince glared at one another, followed by a confident smile and a slap to McMahon from Bischoff, before E.B. left the ring and walked off to the backstage area.

"Looks to me like things are starting to turn up. Eric Bischoff is the GM once again," Triple H said with an optimistic smile within the DX locker room.

"Well, you do have a long history of him helping you out whenever you need it," Shawn Michaels pointed out, referring to the old Evolution days.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Trips asked as he glared at his D-X partner.

"I'm just saying he should come in handy when McMahonism gets out of hand," Shawn answered, soothing the Game a little bit.

"Hey, guys, one good question: what do you suppose they'll do as far as the Women's Championship?" Trish asked her partners, who shrugged nonchalantly as their response.

Speaking of women, Victoria was fuming in the Chain Gang locker room, when John Cena came in. He saw her pacing back and forth with her hands on each side of her head, and for a small while did not know what to say.

"Uh, Vic?" he started, shocking her a little bit.

"Oh, it's you," she said after quickly regaining her composure. "So, have you found out anything?"

"Oh, yeah, plenty. Looks like you got a match against Lita next week," he informed her.

"I'm sure she's watered down her skills from being Edge's little whore, so I'd be hard pressed to find solid evidence otherwise. But I still need to take it to her, because anything can happen in the WWE," Victoria said. "Especially with Vince McMahon and all his Missionaries walking around. Where are the others?"

"Matt and Taka? They're waitin' at Eric's office. Tryin' to reach him so they can work out a deal for a tag team matchup next week."

At about 9:30, Shelton Benjamin's music came on, and he came out with shades and an unbuttoned orange shirt, in the same cocky stride you will always see out of him, including raising his arms in predetermined victory at the turnbuckle. Once his music died out, the familiar spit and words to start Carlito's theme came on, and out came Caribbean Cool, all set to wrestle, with one of his brand new trademark T-shirts on accompanying his wrestling gear. As usual, his only special antics was having that red apple in his hand, which he threw to Lilian Garcia for safekeeping. The bell rang, and this incredible match got ready to begin.

Carlito and Shelton, two men who have been rivals just about ever since Carlito came to Raw, immediately got in one another's face and started jawing away at one another until Carlito pushed Shelton away. Shelton stepped forward and gave Carlito an insulting slap, following which Carlito attacked with some right hands. (a/n: if he's left-handed, I don't quite remember, then he's actually throwing a left hand if whenever I say he's throwing a right hand) When Shelton was fully backed into the ropes, Carlito went for a missile dropkick, knocking Shelton over and out! Shelton recollected himself and got up when the referee's count was at about three. Vince McMahon was then seen at the stage, prompting immediate jeers in the crowd, as well as Carlito's questioning what was the Chairman doing out here. When he turned around, he was met with a spinning wheel kick from Shelton on the dot! Shelton then covered Carlito, getting the count of two before Carlito kicked out. Shelton got back on the attack of Carlito, picking him up by the head and running off the ropes behind him to hit him with a bulldog. Benjamin picked up Carlito again, this time opting to go for a headlock takedown, after which he kept the headlock locked in on Carlito. After a few minutes, Carlito got them up, elbowed his way out of the move, but found himself dragged right back down by the extremely long hair as he ran for the ropes. Shelton was immediately jeered after the fact, but I don't think he cared. He pointed to Vince McMahon to say something McMahonist-like, which pleased the boss, before turning back on the attack of Carlito, who was crawling on his feet in the corner using the ropes.

Shelton took advantage with a few right hands to the Cool One in the corner. He then irishwhipped him to the other corner, but Carlito stopped himself and shot himself over the running Benjamin. When Shelton turned around, Carlito went to throw him over the top rope to the outside, but it did not quite work, as Shelton skinned the cat and flipped back into the ring. Carlito, however, saw it, and quickly came over to Shelton and hit him with an arm drag. Shelton got up, he ran towards another arm drag. Shelton got up again, this time he was given a Manhattan atomic drop, after which Carlito went off the ropes to hit him with a running neck breaker. Carlito covered Shelton, but received only a two-count for his efforts. Carlito got up, helped pick Shelton up, but Benjamin broke away, went off the ropes, and flew onto Carlito in a running cross body, which resulted in a cover of its own. Carlito kicked out at two, the match is still not over. Shelton now decided to go up top, and wait for Carlito to get up. Once he did, Shelton came at him with a flying clothesline, knocking Carlito down. Shelton crawled toward the cover, but it still did no justice. Now, Shelton was starting to become frustrated. He went to the outside, and got a steel chair from Lilian's area. He got back into the ring, the referee tried to force him to ditch the weapon, but ended up having to wrestle it away from him. Meanwhile, Edge got in the ring and stalked away on Carlito to hit him with a Spear, but Carlito dodged it, making him fly to the outside! Shelton finally let go of the chair, then went after Carlito, who gave him a back body drop into Edge on the outside! If you're the Rated R Superstar, that had to hurt. But after Edge and Shelton both got up, Carlito shot himself over the ropes to hit both McMahonists with a cross body! Following this, Carlito picked up Shelton, got him into the ring, then tried to go for one of his two special "from behind" moves, but Shelton noticed immediately after feeling something, and turned around with a right hand. Carlito was backed into the corner, after which Shelton stood on the middle rope and hit a few right hands to Carlito's head below, until getting shoved off and given a clothesline for his efforts. Carlito went up top for some reason, but the reason was made unclear, when Chris Masters came out from behind Vince McMahon, running towards the ring and distracting Carlito. Masters got on the apron, and tried to pull Carlito's leg, but got kicked off for his efforts. However, as Carlito got reestablished in position, that had given enough time for Shelton to spring from the ground to Carlito's level in Kurt Angle-like fashion, then set him and hit him with the T-Bone cover suplex off the turnbuckle! Shelton covered Carlito, and for his efforts, it was 1… 2… 3!

"Here is your winner, Shelton Benjamin!"

That amazing maneuver was highlighted by what caused it: a Chris Masters distraction. Anyway, after the match was over, Masters joined Benjamin in the ring, and Edge followed suit, as the three stomped away on Carlito. Rob Van Dam and Shawn Michaels then came out, causing the Masterpiece and the two McMahonists to scatter off in different directions, Masters the most separate from the rest. RVD then got a microphone, and finally got ready to say something.

"Hey, Vince! Your refs screwed me before ECW's One Night Stand, your people screwed me at One Night Stand, and then your son hit me in the back with that steel chair! I lied when I said I didn't know who it was last week, because I had a truth to speak to Maria, so it was for a good cause! And so will it be for a good cause when I do this!" Vince was mouthing off the question of "What are you talking about, what are you gonna do," which was quickly answered, as Rob took off his RVD shirt and revealed underneath it… a D-Generation X shirt! He then instructed Vince McMahon, via crotch chop signal, to suck it, driving the fans nuts! As the entrance theme "One of a Kind" came on, the man considered One of a Kind stared harshly at Vince McMahon, who immediately backed off into the backstage area right then and there.

Around the 10:15 part of the program, Umaga's music came on, and the Samoan Bulldozer came out for his tag team matchup with Edge, in usual tribal no-nonsense fashion. Afterwards, Edge's music came on, and the Rated R Superstar came out of the smoke with his girlfriend Lita, posing their usual pose of proud lovers. They walked down the ramp hand in hand, and slid into the ring side by side. Lita got on her knees and on her feet, before Edge got on one knee and held her body close to his face for awhile. He then got up, got on his usual turnbuckle and outstretched his arms, feeling cocky and proud. While Umaga had been met with silence, Edge was met with boos. After this, Shawn Michaels came out to his own music theme, controlled aggression as usual, including the prayer pose that set off the fire works. After getting up, however, he took off his HBK shirt right there, and his music suddenly stopped. A "brand new" piece of John Cena music then came on, which was actually "Know the Rep", another song off his once-hot CD, "You Can't See Me". Out came the Doctor of Thuganomics, who quickly took off his chain, shirt, and cap, then ran in the ring alongside Michaels after Umaga and Edge!

The match, or should I say fight, started with Shawn Michaels against Umaga and John Cena versus Edge. As John Cena irishwhipped Edge into the corner, then issued him a vicious clothesline from there knocking him down, Michaels ended up getting shoved off after a few right hands to Umaga, but came right back with a rare missile dropkick coming from HBK, which stagged the big man backwards to the outside. But the match never really got started, because out came CM Punk and Shane McMahon with steel chairs. Punk his Cena with his, Shane hit Shawn with his. The fans immediately booed this sight, and Edge and Umaga were disqualified for their efforts. Punk came down to Cena and hit right hand after right hand after right hand to his face, Shane stomped on Michaels' midsection several times, leading to the jeers of the crowd. Maria then came out, then ran into the ring, begging CM to stop hitting John. He looked at her and told her that he had to do this to protect their relationship from the no-good thug. Shane saw Maria, and came over to her and asked what she was doing out here. CM got up, and the three of them started to argue just a little bit, until Umaga got back into the ring, and Edge got back up, successfully quelling this disagreement before it got out of hand. Then, the rest of the Insurrexion fighting men came out to the aid of their comrades (John and Shawn), chasing the McMahonists out of the ring in two groups: Punk, Edge, and Maria were in one, and Umaga and Shane in the other. The DX music came on, and as the McMahonists ran, each team had one member check on its fallen one, and one member watch the McMahonists, taking the show to commercial break via this scene.

Eric Bischoff was absolutely disgusted with the events that just took place, back in his office, so he ordered the workers to tell Triple H and CM Punk he wanted to see them in his office right away.

After about ten minutes, Eric found himself surrounded by the very two people he wanted there; Trips and Punk. Nobody else was with them.

"Gentlemen, thank you for coming to my office," he said, standing up and getting out of his desk space. "What I just saw out there ten minutes ago was an absolute embarrassment of Raw! Punk, you came out there alongside the son of your 'master and god' to jump Shawn Michaels and John Cena, completely ruining what was bound to be a great match, as well as forcing the CG and DX bases to unload to chase you away! You and your fellow McMahonists, including your 'master and god', absolutely disgust me!"

"Hey, I told him to lay off that 'god' stuff after Shawn superkicked his ass, but he didn't listen to me," Triple H interjected. "Instead, he tried to force me to listen to him, like the 'god' that he supposedly is."

"Thank you, Triple H, but did I ask for you to say something? No! Therefore, back to my decision. I contacted the Board of Directors after calling for you two and received permission to banish anyone and everyone from even setting foot on the stage. If anyone shows up, they will be given a penalty in accordance to their status. If it is a WWE Superstar,. they will be suspended for the rest of the year! If it is someone at a position of power, which basically means me and the McMahons, the Board has full jurisdiction to remove them off of WWE television for the rest of the year! If it is someone else, they will be arrested on the spot! That way, it is a pure one on one match. Now get out of my office before I choose to have one of you disqualified for insubordination." Triple H and CM Punk left after hearing the verdict of Mr. Bischoff.

Come main event time, CM Punk's music came on. He came out all by himself, no Maria, no fellow disciples, nobody. He outstretched his arms and talked some smack to the fans at the stage, then walked down the ramp still talking and still confident, after which he entered the ring via steps and ropes and did the Straight Edge X thing on the turnbuckle. After he came off, he was still talking. But he was quickly shut off by Triple H's "new" music, the Drowning Pool version. The fanatic reaction changed from boos to cheers with the transmission from CM Punk to Triple H. Out came the King of Kings, doing the water thing at the stage, followed by a one-arm crotch chop and firework blast right before the lyrics started. The Game walked down the ramp in full fighting mode as usual, and the people respected him well as well. Trips went to the side opposite the steps after going down the ramp, then drank some more water, got on the apron facing the fans, and spat out the water in their face, showing his usual dominant demeanor whenever he walked down to the ring.

But right after he stepped into the ring following this, CM Punk tried to come over and assault him, but Trips blocked it and hit Punk with a right hand, pretty much seeing it coming. Knocked down by the right hand, Punk backed off to the outside to spare himself some time to recollect himself. Meanwhile, Triple H looked down upon him in an intimidating tone before backing up and allowing him space to enter the ring. CM also had time to realize exactly the opportunity that he was getting right here. He was facing the Game, the WWE Champion. This could put him in line for a title shot in the very near future if he wins this match. If he received, and won, the title shot? Then he would get the gold, along with the girl. He would be WWE's main man, as well as Maria's. He would be… the everything man. Mouthing off the word "everything" in realization of this, Punk finally stepped towards Triple H and gave him a right hand to the face, followed almost instantly by a missile dropkick, knocking Trips down. Trips quickly got up, and he looked at Punk, impressed with the young man's skills. Too bad he's gotta crush him because he rolls in Vince's embarrassing self-righteous excuse of a church. On that note, Trips went towards Punk with a clothesline, but the young man ducked it, then leaped up and kicked off the ropes for a springboard cross body, which Trips turned around right into. Punk stayed on for the cover, and Trips kicked out after two. As Trips got up, Punk ran off the ropes behind him, then stuck on him and took him down in a crucifix cover. Triple H still kicked out after that. Despite his McMahonism, Punk was continuing to impress Triple H, who realized that this kid's got skills. Better not take him lightly, Game. Trips then tried to goad Punk in by signaling to him to bring it, but the youngster actually knew well enough not to fall in, having wrestled in other promotions and seen tricks like this before. Trips then chased Punk out of the ring, and the chase around ringside went on, until Trips started walking instead of running, and Punk went in the ring, thinking he was tired, and ran off the ropes on the other side to come back here with a baseball slide. However, Triple H saw it coming, so he sidestepped Punk and pulled him down to the outside by the legs! Cerebral little plan by the Cerebral Assassin, but now he had to bring the heat to CM Punk.

Trips rolled Punk back into the ring, got back in himself, irishwhipped Punk, and leaped with his knee up high to hit Punk's face, knocking him down. Punk got back up, Triple H kicked him in the midsection, set him up in double underhook position, but did not go for the Pedigree. That would have been too easy. Instead, he lifted Punk in a double underhook backbreaker. Punk tried using the corner to lift himself up, but soon found himself splattered with a clothesline in the corner from Triple H, forcing him to sit down in the corner. The Game looked back and forth toward Punk and the fans, who cheered as he smiled, realizing that he was going to do something embarrassing to the newcomer from Chicago. He then fixed his gaze at Punk, did the crotch chop, and ran towards Punk in the corner, trapping him in sloppied-up version of the Bronco Buster! After about three seconds, he got off of Punk, then laughed at him along with everybody else. He could also be seen mouthing of the words, "so that's how he does it", in reference to former D-X member "X-Pac" Sean Waltman. Trips looked at Punk trying to shake it off, and laughed some more, before finally getting serious and picking up the kid, after which he set him into a vertical suplex. Trips then came back towards Punk, who was starting to get up again, but Punk made a sharp 180° turn and punched Triple H with a stiff, slap-like right hand! After that, Trips lunged after him, but Punk got behind him and then hit a German suplex, with the bridge cover. Triple H kicked out after the count of two, but now he was on the defensive end. Punk irishwhipped Triple H into the corner, hitting a dropsault on him in there and forcing him out. After this, Punk rushed to the turnbuckle, and as he flew down off it, he got a bulldog locked in on Triple H! After that high leaping bulldog, Punk made the cover. 1… 2… no! He really thought he had Triple H right there, so when he saw his veteran adversary kick out, Punk got frustrated. He started on griping and complaining to the referee, until realizing that Triple H got up, So, he turned right back to the Game and tripped him up with a drop toe hold before he could do anything at all. Punk then got down on Trips' back and started slapping him in the back of the head a little bit, an egotistical move that many people hated. Meanwhile, Punk was bragging on all about it, like he just created a godly achievement. Signaling with his hands for the fans to bring the heat to him, he did indeed receive many a jeer. Then, he got on the turnbuckle, and after Trips got up, Punk flipped forward off and caught the King of Kings in a flipping neckbreaker off the top rope. He then covered Triple H, and for his efforts, it was 1… 2… no. The Game kicked out.

Now, Punk was beginning to get a little tense. He rashly picked up Triple H and held him in while hitting him with forearms and right hands, even after having already backed him into the ropes. He finally irishwhipped the Game, but once at the ropes, Trips stopped himself. CM Punk went in after him, then got catapulted over the top, but managed to hold on to the ropes long enough to get on the apron and then get back into the ring unbeknownst to Trips. Straight Edge 24/7 finally sent Trips into the corner, turned him so that his back was facing the other side of the ring, then got on the top rope as if for a flying move. He tried getting in double underhook position on Trips, but Trips immediately got out of him and raised up, back tossing Punk right back into the ring from some ten feet above it! Triple H finally managed to turn himself around as Punk was getting up, after which he hit him with an elbow strike, knocking down the Punker. Trips did not go for a cover, however. He waited for Punk to get up in the corner, then ran towards him with that high knee into the face of CM Punk. This shook Punk enough to get him out of the corner, and as Trips ran off the ropes and shot him with a hard clothesline! Punk got up, and he took another clothesline. He got up again, and this time a double forearm is what took him down. Trips finally irishwhipped CM Punk, then met his return with a rolling Arn Anderson spinebuster! He then signaled for his trademark uncrossed version of the DX crotch chop, apparently this time meaning it was the end. After Punk got up, he kicked him in the midsection, underhooked both arms, but could not leap for the Pedigree before Punk managed to back out of it. He back all the way into the corner, with the referee behind him so where Triple H couldn't see him. Trips came at Punk, who sidestepped it as the Game ended up running into the referee. Punk came back running at Trips, who leapt up with that high knee to Punk's face one more time, knocking him down. Trips looked back and forth at the referee and at Punk, then smiled, realizing that this was his opportunity. But before that, he thumped his chest and pointed to the heavens one time. He got to the outside and got his sledgehammer out, and CM Punk just got up. Trips also got a water bottle, threw the sledgehammer over at CM Punk, and sprinkled the water all over the referee's face to wake him up. But Punk hadn't seen anything yet, so when he saw Triple H heading into the ring with the sledgehammer right at his own feet, he quickly picked it up. Trips tried to egg him on at that point, but calling him a sissy and a coward didn't work, so he decided on going a different measure, one that John Cena may or may not appreciate. He started bombarding CM with all sorts of things that any of the McMahonists could be doing to Maria right now, most of which would be based on sexual or romantic interest. Knowing Punk's priotrity to keep Maria away from Cena, Trips tried to turn it against the Missionaries so as to piss off CM Punk. This plan worked perfectly, as the ref was not only away, but started getting on his feet, by the time Punk came at him with a swing of the hammer. Triple H then appeared to get hit, as he did a completely botched and off-balance version of the Matrix dodge that it looked like he actually did get hit. Therefore, what the ref saw was him getting hit, which immediately resulted in a disqualification of CM Punk! The referee ordered the timekeeper to ring the bell, and called Lilian to him to announce his decision.

"Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of this match by disqualification, the WWE Heavyweight Champion, Triple H!"

This was a highly cheered announcement, but also a very effective one in pissing off the Straight Edge Revolver, who then picked up the ref, and started demanding to him why he did that, because Punk did not feel any contact and he knew he didn't hit Triple H. But then again, he was the only one that knew that. The ref would not give Punk any further explanation or reverse his decision, because he already explained his call as clearly as possible, and he called it like he saw it. Punk, however, would have none of it, so he took the ref into a Side Effect-like takedown into an anaconda vice lock. The whole time, Triple H got back up on his feet, and he picked up the sledgehammer, something that Punk did not realize until after letting go of the vice grip. How did he realize it? By getting up and walking right into a shot with the hammer! The fans cheered on the Game, who then picked up Punk, but kept him set underneath him. Trips then underhooked the arms and hit the Pedigree on Punk, after which he did the DX chop several times, and his music came on! The victorious Triple H then got on the turnbuckle where he was supposed to pose at before the match, then signaled towards himself, no, and the sky, as well as mouthing off the words, "That was not me, that was him that did that." Right then and there, everybody knew that he was talking abuot Eddie Guerrero, in a crafty and clever ensemble of lying, cheating, and stealing, almost Eddie style. The fans respected that Trips wouldn't kiss Vince's ass, but would beat down one of the people that did in a way that paid tribute to the late great Latino Heat. However, Jerry Lawler remained dense as to what Trips was doing until J.R. remembered Eddie and explained the whole thing to him. King still said that was no way to respect Mr. McMahon, **as if McMahon was the big deal here**! Triple H also got his WWE Title, which (forgot to mention) he had handed over to the referee before the match even started, and raised it up to the sky, so that its golden glow could be received apparently as another sign to Eddie.

a/n: I had to pay that Eddie tribute, and I thought of doing it via this match for two reasons: one, Triple H does something already that's kind of like Eddie; whenever the ref is down and he sees an opportunity to use the hammer, he smiles, just as Eddie did when seeing an opportunity to lie, cheat, and steal. The other, CM Punk used to compete against Eddie Guerrero in the time between Eddie's two WWE tenures, so I thought I'd give the honorable Latino Heat one last laugh on CM Punk. And since I happen to think that Eddie is perhaps the greatest wrestler of all time, with a combination of his charisma, his mic skills, and his awesome wrestling ability that might just never be paralleled in the history of this business, why not do it? Rest in peace, Eddie. WWE can desecrate your memory with senseless pushes and mockery all they want, I'm gonna show respect to ya homey. That was my piece. I still got a couple of your matches on tape, even though I can't say your greatest matches. It's still real. 1967-2005-4ever. Peace out, E.G.

-P. Dizzle.

P.S. Just a small hint to next chapter: did you guys see that rap concert in the middle of Smackdown with Three 6 Mafia? That was very appropriate, when you consider the fact that Henry "injured" Benoit as an angle to that match. "Some Bodies Gonna Get It", all right. That "Some Bodie Wuz" Chris Benoit.


	7. Some Bodies Gonna Get a Title Shot

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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a/n: Captain R, a lot of people don't like Bischoff. Not knocking against you in any way, but I've got John Cena (who in kayfabe was the guy Bischoff worked so hard to get rid of until he got fired) practically working with Bischoff in a manner of speaking. If that's the case, then Joey Styles can certainly _introduce_ Bischoff, especially if it's against Vince. He was the perfect source, because of the anti-McMahon thing, and that ultimately special shoot he had back a couple weeks. And as for the match, I just felt like I needed to immediately establish Punk as an awesome wrestler. It's only business. Oh, and glad to see your story's updated, it's lookin' pretty good right about now.

Oh and btw, thanks alot adamamy425 for letting me use your opinion on Matt Hardy for this. Everybody else, you'll see what I mean when Edge speaks.

EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk, so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts. Captain R, I would've gone with "Miseria Cantare" or another one of his old themes except I could never find "Night Train" by the Bouncing Souls and all the other songs didn't really impress me for some reason, but that's my decision and my opinion, so no worries there I hope…

**Chapter 7: Some Bodies Gonna Get a Title Shot**

Date & Show: August 7, 2006 WWE Monday Night Raw

As soon as the WWE introductory video ended, we could hear the music of "Shane-O-Mac" Shane McMahon, as the Money came out doing his dollar-dollar/Shane-O-Shuffle dance to a mixed reception of cheers and boos. After doing the dance, the casually suited Shane walked down the ramp in a serious tone, straightening out his suit a little bit as he went. He entered the ring via the steps and ropes, and began to do his dance again, receiving a few pops for his efforts. However, those pops, those cheers, did not mean these people did not know that Shane was evil. In fact, after the music died, he was booed as he got a mic and prepared to speak.

"I could go on a big long promo about how McMahonism was disgraced by all the Insurrexion rebels. But I have a better idea, tonight and in the future. I'm just gonna keep this short and sleek. John Cena, I want you out here right now," Shane demanded, immediately sparking some cheers, as the Chain Gang audience was going to see its lead representative go out there and probably kick some ass. As "Know the Rep" came on, out came Cena, with his Chain Gang soldiers in tow, both in the form of the three Superstars backing him up, and the thousands of fans cheering. Cena wasted no time sparking the crowd, however, and walked straight towards the ring right off the bad, slid into the ring, got a microphone, and got in Shane's face.

"A'ight, McMahon boy, what's the matter? Why'd you want me out here?" Cena asked.

"I wanted you out here to show you your next opponent on the Path to Summerslam. So here's the way we're doing this. Your Chain Gang is going back to the locker room, unless Hardy and Michinoku back there want to give up their tag team match against Edge and Shelton Benjamin tonight," Shane first replied to Cena's immediate confrontation, leading to the opposite of what happened when Cena came out. The Chain Gang wrestlers retreated, and the fans booed. Afterwards, Shane continued. "Now, as for the opponent. Here's a bit of a special fact: I called somebody over from Smackdown to be a Raw Superstar for one night only so that they could come out and be your opponent. If you beat him, and only if you beat him, you get to face CM Punk at Summerslam in 20 days for the right to be with Maria for 24 hours and leave creative control of the relationship between the three of you in her hands. If you win at Summerslam, and Maria's decision on Raw is favorable towards you, then you have the opportunity to face the WWE Champion at Unforgiven. So, you can get Maria and the WWE Title back and out of McMahonism if all luck holds up, but as unbelievable as this sounds, you won't be thinking that once you see what I've got cooked up for ya. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you, the one-night-only Raw Superstar… "the World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry!"

As "Some Bodies Gonna Get It" by Three 6 Mafia played on, Mark Henry came out in his usual slow, no-nonsense, cold demeanor. Boos filled up as Henry continued his walk, even to the point where he stopped at the edge of the ramp to say some words to the fans about how "some bodies gonna get their ass kicked." He made his way into the ring via steps and ropes, in his usual slow, angry, focused tone. The rap was much more hyper than him, but at the same time it fit him perfectly because of the tough demeanor. Shane was smirking the whole time, even giving out an evil laugh and hopping up and down to the beat several times, as John Cena was thinking, for some reason or another, that "you've gotta be kidding me." When Henry was in the ring, Shane McMahon came to him and whispered something to his ear, possibly instructions on how to defeat John Cena, before coming out with a smile on his face and getting a steel chair. He set the chair down at ringside so as to find himself a personal seat before the bell rang.

Anyway, Henry and Cena, back in the ring, were in a staredown as the bell rang. Cena, taking on just about any challenge, ran off the ropes and tried to hit Mark Henry with a flying shoulder block. However, the big man exerted his power and threw his weight around right from the start, throwing Cena down by the head as he was flying at him! Henry looked down at Cena for awhile, then smiled a dark smile, and the fans realized that now Henry was thinking in full mode about the Three 6 Mafia song that was his entrance theme, as if he wasn't in that mode before getting that music, let alone now. Henry picked up Cena, and with one right hand, knocked him down like a rag doll. Mark picked up John Cena, irishwhipped him, and met his return with a big boot to the face. Wait… Mark Henry dished a big boot? Anyway, after the big boot, Henry then ran off the ropes to the side of the fallen Cena, then returned to give him a huge splash. However, he didn't stay on for the cover, for one of two reasons; either he figured Cena would kick out and didn't want him to get any kind of life, or he figured Cena would be done and wanted to punish him some more. Instead, he mounted himself atop Cena and hit him with several powerful right hands. The fans were already beginning to boo, seeing signs of Mark Henry trying to maim, cripple, injure John Cena. This was no favorable sight in the middle of this ring. Henry got up, then thumped his chest and talked some trash to the fans, giving them even more reason to jeer him. Shane McMahon, meanwhile, got up out of his seat in furious reaction to the boos, and immediately started jawing at some of the fans, saying that instead of booing Mark Henry, they should be bowing down to McMahonism for bringing "such an awesome superstar to Raw for one night only".

Back to the match, Henry picked up Cena, irishwhipped him, and went for a clothesline on him, but Cena ducked and stopped, then allowed Henry to turn around before hitting a few right hand on him. After the right hands came a missile dropkick, which only succeeded in backing Mark up a step. Cena got up, Henry charged at him, Cena took him down with a drop toe hold, hanging the World's Strongest Man by the throat/neck area on the second rope, as if in 619 position. Cena ran off the other side, then jumped at Henry for a body/rope guillotine charge like Haas and Benjamin used to do. However, Mark didn't move, so John Cena did it again. Still didn't budge him, so Cena figured he'd deliver some more back pain, but this time Mark Henry tossed Cena by the neck and upper chest all the way to the outside, almost to the ramp! Henry then came down to the outside, approached Cena, then caught him into the apron and rammed him back first onto the apron, after which Henry took Cena and rolled him into the ring. Cena tried to get up, but he couldn't, because he was in a great back pain at the moment. Henry picked him up, irishwhipped him, and charged at him for a body avalance. However, Cena was able to reverse this by putting a boot up to Mark's face, or so he thought. Henry saw it coming, stopped, thrust down Cena's leg, and still avalanced all his body weight into the guy anyway, forcing John down. Henry then facewashed Cena with his boot several times, invoking boos among the crowd for the disrespect. Henry picked up Cena once again, and lifted him up in a military press, which he very quickly changed into a back body drop at its highest point. With all these high power moves, how could Cena possibly come back to win this match? He was getting the crap pounded out of him.

Though the answer looked like it was that he couldn't, the final answer did not come yet, as when Henry made the cover, John Cena kicked out. The World's Strongest Man finally scooped up Cena, but before he could slam him back down for the World's Strongest Slam, Cena managed to shake his way out of it, then kicked Henry in the shin a few times before finally getting him in the corner and deciding to throw bones at him. Once he finally stopped, he walked away a few steps to pose, then ran back at him for a clothesline. However, this one failed to move Henry, so he went to the other corner, then ran right back for a Stinger Splash, but with one hand, Henry slammed him right back down. Things were not looking good for the Untouchable Chain Gang Leader. However, he did get right back on one knee when Henry came to him, then managed to hit him in the gut a couple times so he could have time to get back up. Cena then got on the apron, and as Henry came towards him, executed a hangman's neckbreaker. Cena quickly got into the ring as Henry had his back turned, and flipped over him for the Throwback! After this, he bent down to Henry and did the you can't see me taunt, ran off the ropes, brushed his shoulders off, and dropped the fist in the Five Knuckle Shuffle! Cena then covered Henry, trying to hook the leg, but the Mean Dude With a Bad Attitude powered out of it like Cena was nothing. Henry finally go up, and Cena tried to set him up and lift him in for the F-U. However, Mark, with a stiff shot to the back with a right hand, forced Cena to let go. He then scooped Cena into his arms, then slammed him in the World's Strongest Slam. Henry covered Cena. 1… 2… 3.

"Here is your winner, the World's Strongest Man, Mark Henry!"

Henry pinning Cena just about meant that the Doctor of Thuganomics has no chance in hell of picking up Maria after Summerslam. Shane McMahon entered the ring with open arms and a huge smile on his face. He exuberantly shook hands with Mark, as the boos followed the entire area. Shane offered to lower the ropes for Mark Henry to leave the ring, which he did. Shane, however, stayed in and got a mic.

"Looks to me like somebody got their ass kicked," Shane taunted at the slain thug, based on the song of his conqueror. "Hey, Cena! Next time you assume you've even got a chance at taking Maria from CM Punk, you'll know that he's not the only one that wants to keep her away from you! You know why, John? Because, quite frankly, we don't want you being with Maria in any way, shape, or form. Because, quite frankly, you're not worth it. You're too focused on having the sweet, little, innocent, stupid kid brunette around you so you can feel like… well, really, like a kid. You're afraid to grow up! We're trying to help Maria! To toughen her up! To give Maria the ability to let everyone know she's not stupid! You're pathetic, Cena! (insert boos) Basically, what I'm trying to say on behalf of Punk and every other McMahonist in that locker room, is that quite frankly, you're not worth Maria because as a man, you're worth nothing!"

Shane's music came on in the place of Henry's, and he looked down on Cena with disgust in his face towards John. Shane then walked out of the ring, and got prepared to leave the arena, until he got tripped by something underneath the ring. Falling down almost headfirst, Shane was down long enough for the person to come out of the ground. Turns out, the person was… Rob Van Dam! Van Dam took advantage of Shane's fall by going on the apron, with his back facing the ring, then firing a Five Star Frog Splash on Shane from the apron to the outside floor! RVD's music came on, and the man looked down on Shane a little bit, before walking up the ramp and to the back.

The rest of the Chain Gang by now was in the back, in their locker room, as Victoria was getting herself warmed up for the upcoming matchup against Lita.

"Victoria, maybe you ought to chill out a little. You don't want to wear yourself out before the match even starts," Matt Hardy suggested.

"I'm fine," she shot, seemingly a little angry. This was about the one thing that they wouldn't like about her; how pretty much antisocial she seemed when focused on an upcoming match.

"Maybe we should leave her alone," Taka suggested. Matt looked at him with a gaze, telling the Japanese one to remain silent at the moment.

"I know for a fact that Edge is gonna be in Lita's corner out there tonight," Matt said.

"Let me guess: you want to be in my corner and have my back? Sure, go ahead," Victoria replied in acceptance to his apparent offer, still stretching in one of a number of stretches. "All I know is I want to win this one. And can you believe the crap that just happened out there with John Cena having to face Mark Henry?"

"This crap is why we are here. So this crap can stop," Taka proclaimed, as Shawn Michaels burst into the room.

"Hey, you guys!" he exclaimed, calling for their attention. "Now, Victoria. Has he (points to Matt) offered to have your back in this match yet? Cause I would think he did, considering that's Lita you're facing."

"Yes, he has," Victoria said, seeming a little bit irritated about that.

"Good," Shawn answered. "Cause I want in on this one, too! I predict that Edge _and_ Mick Foley are going to be out there with Lita. Therefore, it's either both Matt and Taka or Matt and myself going out there with you tonight."

"I wanna go," Taka said silently.

"You wanna go?" Shawn repeated, to which Taka nodded, a good confirmation. "Good. I'll be in here to wait for Cena. As for you guys, it's time to head out! The match is next."

"It's next? You've gotta be kidding. McMahonism must have planned this all along so Lita could be so much more ready than Vic-"

"Don't assume that I lost my focus!" Victoria burst in the middle of Matt's statement. "John wouldn't want me to lose my opportunity to take care of my business just to cheat into his. If you're worred about me facing Lita now, I'm still ready to beat her."

"Good. Now go!" Shawn ordered them.

"Have patience. We are going now," Taka said to Shawn, before turning to the others. "Come on."

With the Pride of Japan leading the way, the Chain Gang left Shawn Michaels in their locker room, so that Victoria could go out there and rule in her match against Lita. Speaking of the match, Lita also came out in her first entrance music theme, "It Just Feels Right", and in one of her white ring outfits, with her boyfriend and their leader (Edge and Foley) right behind her. Lita flicked her long hair one little bit at the stage before walking down the ramp, being flanked by Edge and Mick. She then slid into the ring, got on her knees, then to her feet, before pointing with the old Hardy Gunz signal to Edge and Mick. Victoria's music soon got the people cheering, as she came out with Matt and Taka at her sides. At the stage, Victoria bent down momentarily and came back up with her arms high in the usual manner she did it with in the past before aligning with Torrie and Candice. (the latter part causes us all to say "thank god it's over) In a black ring outfit she probably wore before, Victoria also went on the apron and jumped over the ropes, then faced the fans and raised her arms high in her trademark manner once again, prompting the fans to cheer once more. Victoria and Lita looked at each other as her music died out, and then the bell rang for Lita's first match in a long time, and Victoria's first match since breaking away from Candice. Each woman had two men to watch her back, and things were seemingly even.

Lita immediately came up to Victoria talking trash, then slapped her in the face. She still wouldn't stop talking, making no realization of the fact that this action infuriated Victoria until Victoria suddenly turned around and tackled her down. Victoria pounded Lita's head into the mat several times until the referee made her let go. After that, she picked up Lita, irishwhipped her towards the ropes, and used a flapjack on her. Victoria then screamed out to the fans, signaling for them to scream (cheer) back, seeing that she had control of the action. Lita was trying to crawl out of the ring to generate some space, but Victoria quickly grabbed her leg, then pulled her back fully in before Lita turned around and kicked herself free. However, she didn't get back to crawling out, she got back up on her feet and quickly clotheslined Victoria, taking control in the action. Lita waited for her for to get up, before hitting her with a neckbreaker. Lita covered Victoria. 1… 2… the Vicious Vixen kicked out. Lita thought she was getting a little pep back in her step, so she ran off the ropes as Victoria got up, then leapt up in the air to rap Victoria's head between her legs, after which she took her down with a hurracanrana. Lita then looked back, seeing Victoria down and knowing she caught her perfectly. It made her smile a kind of confident smile that she hadn't smiled about herself in a good long while. Lita then got up top, then leapt down for another hurracanrana, but this time Victoria caught her and turned it into a powerbomb!

Victoria looked at the crowd, then got a little jumpy seeing Lita sitting down in the corner, after which she caught Lita with a dropkick to her head straight into the post! Victoria made the cover. 1… 2… nope! Kickout by Lita. How the heck that happened, we will never know. Victoria still tried to pick up Lita, but Mick had the referee distracted and Lita was able to come away with a low blow. As Victoria went down hard, Lita rolled her over on her back and got a jackknife cover pin on her, Foley finally backing off conveniently at that point. 1… 2… Victoria kicked out! Lita, before Victoria could get up, then decided to drag her closer to Edge and Foley, then locked in a side leglock. This time, Edge came to his girlfriend and helped her gain leverage by grabbing one of her hands and dragging back just enough so that she could stay in control. It was just at that point that… Triple H came out of the crowd, kicked Mick straight in the nuts, and then set him up for a Pedigree on the concrete floor! Edge saw Triple H as well, and immediately ran out of the area. Trips didn't even notice Matt and Taka until about a couple of seconds after he passed them, but then made sure to return their thumbs up as he continued the chase with Edge. Anyway, now Victoria was able to take over the match. She broke free from the leglock, then as both women got up, ducked one of Lita's clotheslined, then hit her with a right hand which knocked Lita down. After that came a series of clotheslines, then a scoop slam to Lita, then Victoria irishwhipped her, and gleefully met her return with her twisting sideslam, the Spider's Web. Victoria then stalked away at Lita in typical Matt Hardy fashion, then as Lita began to get up, Victoria set her underneath, then got her in and hit her with the Widow's Peak! Victoria made the cover, hooked the leg, 1, 2, 3!

"Here is your winner, Victoria!"

The fans liked that very effective announcement, but Candice Michelle came past the Chain Gang to try to attack Victoria. Unfortunately for Candice, all Victoria needed to do was sidestep her and throw her down by the hair, and she fell hard and rolled out. Matt and Taka came into the ring on each side and raised Victoria's arms in… victory.

Backstage, Shawn Michaels and John Cena were hanging out in the DX locker room instead of the CG room, and they were obviously laughing and smiling about what just happened. Rob Van Dam and Trish Stratus were not in the arena tonight.

"Oh ho ho ho! Candice couldn't even lay a lick on her!" Shawn said in jubilee.

"Yeah, homey, but the best part was: Lita was actually thinkin' she had a chance at goin' back to her roots to win this. She's busy sluttin' out for Edge, that ain't gon' work anymore," Cena replied, adding to the joking session. "Hell, she lost the match the minute Triple H took out Edge!"

"He's runnin' around the hall, scared," Shawn assumed. They could then hear Edge's voice screaming, "Whoa, get the hell away from me!"

A couple seconds after this saw the entry to the DX locker room of Triple H… with a pipe in his hand!

"I think we sent the message to Vince McMahon," Trips said with a smile on his face.

"What message?" Cena asked, finally beginning to get confused.

"That if he thinks we're ready to accept him, or anyone, as the lord, master and god of this great business, then he's got another thing comin'," Trips and Shawn answered simultaneously.

"Oh, that one," Cena recalled. "I kinda guessed that, even though you never said nothin'."

Vince McMahon suddenly got into the DX locker room, and he had a smile on his face.

"Hey, John Cena! Welcome to the concept of not getting any!" Vince taunted with a mocking laugh. "But seriously, I came to you about an offer. Even though you've been ripped off the path to Summerslam, meaning you don't get Maria or the WWE Title this way, I decided to come to you and give you a chance."

"A chance?" Cena asked, befuddled as the Degenerates. "What are you talkin' about?"

"A chance to defeat CM Punk anyway," Vince explained in vague detail.

"Actually, I don't like him, but I hate the strain our lil' fight's puttin' on Maria, so I don't know if…"

"You wanna keep being a WWE Superstar?" Vince finished rashly, putting words in Cena's mouth. Cena, Shawn and Trips looked very pissed off at this point.

"Wait, what was that?" Trips demanded. "Are you saying that if he doesn't go through with his match, he gets fired?"

"If he doesn't go through with the match against CM Punk at Summerslam, and win, then John Cena will be fired," Vince explained. "Ria's little JC will be no more, and nothing will stand in the way of CM Punk, or in the way of McMahonism, completely reaching Maria's heart and toughening her up to become one of the greatest women wrestlers of all time! Punk and Maria will be the greatest couple in professional wrestling history, even beyond you and my daughter, Triple H!"

"Hey, don't brush that idea in my face. I don't think any couple in history can surpass what I had with your daughter. We ran a regime, ran the company, and unlike Matt Hardy vs. Lita, our break-up feud was actually interesting, and people actually liked it," Trips countered. "No knock on Matt Hardy, John, but you've gotta admit, people would rather see me and Stephanie, either together or feuding again, than more of this Matt/Edge/Lita crap."

"Hey, that Matt/Edge/Lita crap is part of our cause against McMahonism," Shawn reminded him, seeing as John wasn't even listening to Triple H. "Besides, something tells me it's not about Matt getting back at Edge and Lita anymore. I think now it's about getting through them to get back at (points to Vince) this guy."

"SHUT UP!" Vince commanded the two, before turning to John. "So, Mr. Cena, what will it be? Are you gonna fight CM Punk at Summerslam, or will you quit?"

"Easy. I ain't lettin' Ria get sucked into your little plot, and I got a lot more career to go. I'm fightin' this one all da way," John replied. "Now either get out or I will knock you out!"

"And… I got the message across now, so I think I'm gonna leave. Good luck getting fired by CM Punk at Summerslam, and I'll see you at my office begging for your job back," Vince said as he backed out of the room.

"OUT!" an irate Cena yelled in fury, scaring off Lord McMahon. Cena was now seething at this point, and Shawn and Trips weren't too happy about this either.

Come main event time, Edge and Shelton Benjamin were already in the ring, with Edge's music on. Strangely, he was also holding some kind of paper in his left hand, as well as a microphone in his right hand.

"Cut the music, cut the music right now!" Edge announced, getting a bad reaction from the crowd as a result. "In my hands, I have a letter that was submitted to me from a fan of Lita and myself. A very special fan of ours, I believe her little pseudonym is adamamy425. Before you start asking if I care about fans, as in am I gonna go out of my way for them, I've been through doing that since my groin tear in 2004. (insert minimal boos) But anyone who appreciates me as I am, even as a proud McMahonist, (insert boos) then you're welcome to be an Edgehead as much as you want, and I will gladly recognize their letters. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna go out of my way for the rest of the world, so hate me if you want, because I hate this arena. (insert boos) Anyway, let me read adamamy425's letter before I forget all about it." He then took off his shades and leaned back in the corner nearest him, after which he began to read.

" 'Dear Edge,' " he read. " 'Hi. I'm a very big fan of yours, and of Lita's, and I'm a little bit disturbed about the fact that Matt Hardy still can't get over the fact that he got dumped for being the loser that he is. (insert minimal boos) I remember one time when I wrote my personal opinion on Matt Hardy, and I hate him right now, because he's gone right back to whining, which is exactly what I hated him for back last year in the first place. Anyway, here's my thoughts on Matt. I think you'll like it.'

'Matt Hardy- in this soap opera triangle that never should have happened. He lost all of my respect-not that he cares but I don't care because I have a right to a opinion- when he let this all be public knowledge. If he was a man, he would have taken this up with Adam - Edge - and Amy - Lita - in private. He felt that it was our need to know that Adam and Amy sinned and wanted sympathy from this whole situation because he was done so wrong. No relationship is perfect and he handled it poorly if she went to the arms to another man.' True that. (insert minimal boos) 'When he was fired from WWE that was his chance to get away from the situation and move on to get a better life and job, but instead he had to act like a 3 year old and bitched and moaned about being fired from a situation he created. He didn't cheat - that we know of - on Amy but he let it be known. WWE simply had nothing for him because what could he honestly come back too? Nothing and by that time they were in the process of cutting people that had just as much talent as he had. He came back and got shipped right off to Smackdown and went to no one land where he belonged. And now, he's back on Raw, and sure I can appreciate the Chain Gang, but whatever John Cena was thinking bringing Matt Hardy back to whine and bitch all over again, that was the stupidest decision of the entire Insurrexion.'

'I know that you probably won't read this, or that you maybe might not even consider this important at all, but this is what I think about Matt Hardy. Personally, I hope you come out there each and every week and kick his ass until he leaves so that we can finally be rid of the complaining chumpstain that is Hardy. Sincerely, adamamy425, the #1 fan of Edge and Lita. P.S. You should also take the WWE Title.' (insert boos)

That was a nice touch, adding that "chumpstain" piece in. But unfortunately, that word's kinda exclusive to me, especially when it comes to addressing someone that didn't come up in the letter, and that would be my childhood friend, the man I called brother a bit much in 2000 and still do from time to time. Oh, and speaking of which, pal; if you're listening to me down south, congratulations on being the only bell-to-bell champion in that… 5-man challenge match in the history of your company. Sure, I would have taken the title from you if I were there too, but the next best thing's pretty damn fine with me. Anyway, the combination of Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku needs to hurry on out here so that Shelton and I can kick some ass like the Most Pure Athlete in the World Today that is Shelton, and the Rated R Superstar that is… me."

Immediately after these comments, Matt Hardy's music came on, and out came Matt and Taka Michinoku, rushing out into the ring, all set to fight. Shelton and Edge immediately high tailed it from the ring, allowing Matt and Taka to pose for just one second, after which they called for Edge and Benjamin to get back into the ring. The two obvious heels took their time getting in, after which the bell finally rang. Matt was pretty darn jumpy, practically begging Edge to start the matchup against him for his team. But the Rated R Superstar saw that as all the reason he needed to make Shelton start the match instead, which calmed Hardy's mood just a tick.

Matt and Shelton quickly engaged in a grapple, which was followed up by a Hardy headlock on Shelton. Shelton backed his way into the ropes and pushed Matt off into an irishwhip. Matt came back with a shoulder block on Shelton, knocking him down. Hardy leaped over him and ran off the other ropes, then Shelton got up and gave Hardy a hurracanrana! Shelton looked over to Taka, pointed to him, and said, "That's how you impress on Raw." Taka thought about getting into the ring, but realized it was not the wisest course of action. It would actually prove unnecessary, too, because when Shelton turned back to Matt Hardy, Matt was able to get him with a few rights and lefts, followed by a discus punch. Shelton came towards Matt in a cross body lunge, but the elder Hardy dodged it and let Shelton fall on the canvas, then roll his way out of the ring. Once he got up on the outside, Taka took advantage by taking him down with an Asai moonsault. Edge rushed into the ring after Hardy, only to be sent over the top just like that. Taka got into the ring, and he and Matt Hardy posed to the fans, being fully confident in their abilities. At this point, the show reached commercial break.

Once the action returned, we saw Matt Hardy going down as Shelton Benjamin ran and jumped over him, followed by Matt getting back up and trying to hit arm drag, which was countered by Shelton into an arm drag of his own. Shelton took advantage of the downed Hardy by getting in an armbar on him. Edge now started becking to get into the match, so Shelton dragged Matt back to their corner so Edge could tag himself in. Shelton kept holding on as Edge got in the ring, allowing the Artist of Awesomeness to get a few kicks. Shelton let go of Matt, and got back to the apron, while Edge ran off the ropes to hit a dropkick to Matt's side. Hardy fell out of the ring as a result, allowing Benjamin to stay in the action, stomping Hardy a few times before letting him back into the ring. Edge distracted the referee so as to render him oblivious to this, and the fans all jeered at the sight before them. Edge, picked up Matt by the head slowly, then changed the pace with a quick inside cradle. The referee counted. 1… 2… Matt barely kicked out, and the fans were thankful. Edge allowed Hardy to pick himself up at the corner, following which he quickly hit a running shoulder thrust on Hardy, crushing him between the shoulder and the steel post. Matt doubled over when finally given the chance.

Taka Michinoku then became resourceful at this point. He took out two weapons from underneath the ring and threw them in, which distracted the referee twofold (getting the weapons out of the ring, and telling Taka to stop). Meanwhile, Shawn Michaels came out of the crowd, which distracted Edge and Shelton, who by now basically thought that this was the DX M.O. against them tonight. While Edge was busy looking at Michaels, Taka came into the ring as the referee was harassing him in order to dropkick Edge over the top. Taka then left back to the apron and became a civil human being immediately, just in case the ref was planning to disqualify him for this. But Edge hung on to the rope, and managed to flip himself back into the ring. Angry, Edge decided to come after Taka, who he knew was responsible for this. But before he could reach him, Matt Hardy used the school boy cover on him! 1… 2… Edge stiill managed a kickout. Shawn went back on the other side of the railing and proceeded to go to the back.

Edge got up first before Hardy, who just took quite a bit of pain. Edge picked up Hardy and irishwhipped him into the heels' corner, but while that was happening, Taka had tagged himself in, and was waiting for the opportunity to strike. Matt springboarded himself backwards over the running Edge, then dropkicked him into the corner. Matt started to get up, but, seeing Taka, stayed on his knees and signaled for his Japanese partner. Taka ran towards the scene, and used Hardy's back as a trampoline to splash into Edge's head and chest, their own equivalent of the Poetry in Motion. Immediately after feeling the boot come off his back, Matt got up, kicked Edge in the midsection, and hit him in the Twist of Fate! As Matt rolled out of the ring, Taka made the cover. 1… 2… No! Shelton went down and pulled Michinoku away from Edge!

Shelton Benjamin decided to stomp on the Kaientai Kid a few times on the outside, before picking him up and sending him into the steel steps. Seeing what was going on, the ref admonished Shelton instead of counting out Taka, as Shelton put Michinoku into the ring right after that anyway. Matt, who was ticked off at the sight, decided to attack Shelton with a lunging double forearm to take him down on the outside. Meanwhile, Edge just gained some recovery time, but Taka was still the first man up. Taka hit a missile dropkick on Edge, followed by a clothesline, followed by a jaw breaker and a jackknife hold pin. 1… 2… Edge just barely kicked out! Taka then decided that it was time to finish the action. He set up Edge in suplex position, which quickly turned into Michinoku Driver position. However, Edge managed to land the other way on his feet, then picked up Taka and hit him in a back breaker. Shelton went around the ring to Taka's corner to take Matt off the apron, then hit him with a sidekick to the chin. I might as well say superkick. In the meantime, Edge stalked away at Taka in order to go for a Spear. When Edge finally saw his opportunity and ran for the kill, Taka managed to move out of the way! Taka then got Edge in a backward rolling clutch cover. 1… 2… 3! Shelton tried to come into the ring to break it up, but it was too late.

"Here are your winners, Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku!"

Taka immediately scattered from the ring as his music came on, and went over to his partner's side. Matt accepted Taka's helping him up, and the Chain Gang partners walked up the ramp, but not without the referee quickly trailing them to raise their arms in victory. Edge and Shelton were not happy about this in the least. Both men were already jawing away at their conquerors, severely pissed about the situation. They would be even more pissed off when General Manager Eric Bischoff came out to the arena.

"Alright!" Eric started. "Edge, I can tell that you want a chance to pick yourself up off this situation. Look who you just got pinned by! Taka Michinoku, a Japanese cruiserweight! Someone who egotists like you, your clan of McMahonists, and your master and god Vince McMahon, would assume to have no chance in hell against a man the caliber of the Rated R Superstar! Well, here's how it's gonna happen, Edge. Next week on Raw, our main event is gonna be the Meeting of the Money in the Bank! It'll be the first ever Mr. Money in the Bank, "the Rated R Superstar" Edge, against the second ever Mr. Money in the Bank, "the Whole Damn Show" Rob Van Dam!"

Bischoff's announcement rocked the house as his music came on. Eric smiled at the scene before him, with Edge looking dumbfounded and stunned.

"Oh, and as for this match? This match, unbeknownst to both of you, was an opportunity to get a title shot next week at the World Tag Team Titles! Therefore, next week, it will be Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku against Mr. McMahon's other disciples of sorts, the World Tag Team Champions, the Spirit Squad! (insert cheers) And an added stipulation to that match is as follows: Kenny Doane and Mikey Mondo, the ones who acquired the titles from Kane and the Big Show, have to be the ones to defend the titles next week! (insert cheers) If any other members of the Spirit Squad are seen setting foot in the arena, then they will be fired! And if Kenny and Mikey lose the Tag Team Titles to Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku, then every member of the Spirit Squad outside Kenny will be fired!"

Did we just hear that correctly? The Spirit Squad's tag team titles, and their jobs, are on the line? Matt and Taka looked at each other and smiled at the opportunity. They've got the chance to not only take the World Tag Team Championship away from the Spirit Squad, but to essentially **get rid of the Spirit Squad!** Edge and Shelton looked completely stunned back inside the ring, while Matt and Taka were all smiles at the opportunity. Look what Eric Bischoff has done! He's swiped the momentum straight out of the arms of the House of McMahonism!

a/n: Sorry for the long wait, peeps. I've just been caught up in other fanfiction projects and stuff along with this one. But anyway, I think the goodness of this chapter should be enough to compensate for the error of my ways. I think I'm already getting back on track with this one. I might even add another chapter to Evolution.

That's it for now, though. See ya round, peeps!

-P. Dizzle.


	8. Down and Up, the Spirit of McMahonism

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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a/n: Finally, I'm able to get back to work on this one. Now, people, before you get on my case about why I haven't been here lately, let's just say an old anime fandom was reawakened, and now I'm doing a crossover anime fanfic for a certain two series. However, it seems that I've started to burn out on that side of the fence, and even with a small break to replenish me, my attention has finally, _finally_ turned back here. Therefore, I'm back on this end for a little while.

**Chapter 8: Down and Up, the Spirit of McMahonism**

Date & Show: August 14, 2006 WWE Monday Night Raw

This edition of Monday Night Raw actually began with the Corporate Ministry music now used by the House of McMahonism and the multicolored church-like lighting scene. Of course, the entire audience was sent into raucous boos, seeing as how McMahonism is not an entity that anyone on this earth can stand. Maria and CM Punk came out with Punk's arm around Maria by the shoulder, followed by Edge and Lita walking hand in hand. Following them were a certain trio of followers, as in Candice Michelle, Umaga, and Shelton Benjamin. Candice was front and center, leading Shelton and Umaga down the ramp behind Edge and Lita. While Punk held Maria's hand as she went up the steel steps, and on the apron before getting into the ring, Edge and Lita slid into the ring, Lita getting on her knees and Edge staying in the same position before they both got up, as usual. Shelton, Umaga, and Candice went straight on the apron before coming into the ring. The elders of McMahonism, Mick Foley and Mickie James, finally came out soon afterwards, with Mickie pleading to Mick about something while he just focused on getting ahead. The crowd spectators absolutely jeered every bit of it, but would become even stronger in their boos once Foley and James stood there at the bottom of the ramp. But it wasn't because they were standing at the bottom of the ramp. It was because of the arrival of "the idiot God and idioter Jesus" of the personal religion of the McMahons. The "idioter Jesus" would be the prodigal son of the McMahon lord, the product of the omnipotent semen, the child prodigy of McMahonism, Shane McMahon. The "idiot God" would obviously be the physically, mentally, and financially "well-endowed" lord, master, and god, of all sports entertainment, the absolute ruler of McMahonism, the uncrossable boss himself, Vincent Kennedy McMahon. At the stage, Shane hopped around a little bit while Vince opened his arms with a gracious smile on his face, before the both of them walked down the ramp. Foley and James then lowered their arms in the hailing motion to Vince, which the crowd jeered to no end. As Shane got on the apron and held the second rope down, his father walked up the steps and crossed the ropes before raising his hand and springing forth McMahonism's holy flame on all four turnbuckles. The mockery of God had several fans chanting an obscene chant at Mr. McMahon & Son along with their religious stable. Finally, the music subsided, and Vince came to the podiun set up in the ring with a spotlight on it. The McMahonist disciples and followers stood behind Mr. McMahon and his loyal son behind him, the flame still going.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night Raw!" Vince shouted at the podium, earning a few cheers, though the audience still mostly jeered at him. "And welcome once again to a Sermon of McMahonism! (insert boos) Well, I can see that you people don't know reverence either. What would your ancestors say to that? (insert boos) Anyway, it's time for Lord McMahon to finally make his declaration. And the declaration of Lord McMahon is simply this: it's time for this D-Generation X, Chain Gang, Insurrexion crap to come to an end. (insert minimal boos) And we will start with the Rated R Superstar, Edge, one of my faithful disciples, beating the living hell out of D-Generation X's Rob Van Dam. See, Rob Van Dam thinks he's hardcore. Rob Van Dam think he's extreme. And Rob Van Dam thinks he's… the Whole… Damn… Show. (insert cheers and "RVD!" chants) SHUT UP! (insert loud boos) Now, I'm getting absolutely sick and tired of Rob Van Dam and D-Generation X and this damn Insurrexion, and specifically that so-called General Manager whose sole purpose for coming back is to humiliate me! (insert small cheers) And that General Manager's name, quite frankly, is Eric Bischoff! (insert loud cheers) Eric Bischoff has failed in everything he's done because he's a total heathen! He's never believed in McMahonism! He lost WCW to my son Shane because he's an incompetent decision maker! He comlpetely embarrassed Raw when he was the General Manager in the past because he's an egomaniacal piece of crap! And now, he's back as General Manager, because the Board of Directors - which includes my own wife and daughter! - wants to control me before I get out of hand with introducing my personal religion to the world? (insert small cheers) He's doing more than trying to control McMahonism! He's trying to completely derail and destroy this religion! This beautiful religion whose practice has led me, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, to single-handedly revolutionize the once completely regional sports entertainment industry into the great business that it is today! Without McMahonism, there is no World Wrestling Entertainment! (insert boos) It was under the impression of that supreme and lordly logic that I, Mr. McMahon, finally stepped up to the plate and officially… convinced… (VKM winks) a certain CEO of the Board of Directors to give General Manager Eric Bischoff the night off tonight. (insert boos) Now, I will hand the microphone over to a great and loyal disciple of mine. That disciple, is none other than the world renowned King of the TLCs, the Artist of Awesomeness, the Rated R Superstar, EDGE!"

As the crowd continued their booing session further, Edge looked and signaled questioningly towards himself once he heard that it was his time to speak, until Mr. McMahon & Son told him yes, that he can get to say anything he wants right now. Edge then stepped up to the podium, Vince and Shane moving to the side.

"Thank you, Mr. McMahon, for giving me the great opportunity to finally shut up each and every one of these non-believing morons out there and in this arena," Edge shot, earning a round of boos. "I have two really important things I want to talk about tonight. One, is my match against Rob Van Dam in our meeting of the Money in the Banks. Well, let me explain something to you, Rob. You may be the Whole Damn Show, but I'm the Rated R Superstar. Which means obviously, I'm the star to your show! I'm the one who makes unsuccessful leapers and spot monkeys like you look good! (insert boos) No, you people don't understand. I'm not just talking nicknames here. I actually have my own piece of individual good logic to back up this claim. It's the fact that we are Money in the Bank. You see, an old friend of mine… you might remember him. Chris Jericho. (insert boos) He came up with the idea of the Money in the Bank ladder match. The first Money match featured me, the Rated R Superstar, along with Kane, (insert small cheers) Jericho, (insert cheers) my good pal behind me Shelton Benjamin, Chris Benoit, and the one guy whose history with me runs deeper than that of anyone else. And trust me when I say, that guy has charisma. (insert cheers) Now, that match was one of the most spectacular matches in sports entertainment history. But I would have to argue that it succeeded because of two people. And those two people are me and Shelton Benjamin! (insert boos) Shelton Benjamin and I made everybody else look good in that match! We made Money in the Bank look good! And that's why it was reawakened by Carlito, that's why RVD even got his title shot! Because he was riding on my wings! (insert boos) So that's why at One Night Stand, the Mickster and I made the personal decision that our anti-ECW involvement would not be limited to beating Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer. We decided instead that we were going to do more. That we were going to beat the hell out of Rob Van Dam and ensure that John Cena stay the WWE Champion, sending all the so-called "extreme revolution" fans into a frenzy of boos! But John Cena had to be a weakling and give RVD the title, which Rob gladly gave back to John Cena! After we screwed you, Rob, you still had the championship in your grasp! But yet you squandered it, just to be an "honorable" guy. I took advantage of my opportunity to become the WWE Champion, and you didn't! So it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that I'm gonna kick your ass right in this ring when we square off later tonight!"

The fans didn't have any time to boo, however, because Rob Van Dam's music finally cut into the scene, changing the atmosphere with the fans to an eruption of cheering. Now, right after the words "One of a Kind", you heard "Break It Down!", and it immediately shifted to the D-Generation X music! Rob Van Dam finally came out, alongside Trish Stratus, both of them wearing the original D-Generation X tanktop and camouflage pants, with official D-Generation X mics in hand. Stopping at the stage, Rob did his thumb taunt and Trish pointed to the sky again, following which they did the "suck it" crotch chop immediately after that, which set off the X fireworks across the stage with each chop, careful not to drop the DX mics while doing so. As the music stopped, RVD was prepared to speak.

"Wait a minute, let me try to understand something, Edge," Rob Van Dam spoke up, the audience getting behind him instantaneously. "So, you're supposed to be quickly able to kick my ass, huh? Well, here's a good question you might want to answer for me then. If you're so much better than me, then how come even the smarks have said, before you ever became WWE Champion, that I was the best wrestler to never hold a world championship? (insert cheers) Well, it's easy, Edge! Because there's nobody who can do what I can do like I can. And when I'm at my best, nobody can beat me. Just ask Triple H. He meeded to low blow me in a triple threat match to become #1 contender to face John Cena at WrestleMania. (insert cheers) Oh, yeah, speaking of Triple H. He's working on taking John Cena's spinner championship belt and turning it into a DX spinner championship belt. (insert cheers) Oh, and Edge. Trish has something to tell you about your girlfriend over there."

"Oh, yeah, she's here. I almost forgot. Hey, Trishie! You're finally here to admit that Lita is better than you! Right!?" Edge shot with a grin on his face, receiving boos again for his efforts.

"Lita, you and I used to be great friends, and heated rivals. But it didn't matter whether we were tagging up alongside the Hardy Boyz or going to war over the Women's Championship and several other superiority issues. I used to have a great amount of respect for you, because back then, the name "Lita" represented more than just eye candy. You and I were both the true definitive divas of the WWE. We both kept women's wrestling interesting. And we both could've been the greatest Womam's Champion of all time!" Trish cut in to cheers of agreement from the crowd, ignoring Edge's statement. "But now, you's changed. Ever since being with Edge, you've barely wrestled. You've probably completely forgotten how to wrestle. Which explains how you looked pretty much like a shell of yourself when you _tried_ to wrestle Victoria last week. (insert cheers) From what I know, the only wrestling you ever do nowadays is wrestling Edge in bed. Which pretty much means you've become Edge's personal slut, latched onto Edge's shoulder, for the sole purpose of satisfying Edge, and cheating for Edge, in more ways than one. (insert cheers) Why do you think Matt Hardy is so upset about it? If you cheated on him with an honorable guy, like… per se, Rob Van Dam, (insert "ohhh"s) maybe Matt wouldn't have been so incensed for so long. Now, he would have been very pissed off, but Rob would certainly try to stay his friend, try to help Matt manage the situation so that he didn't go out of control, and more importantly, unlike the Rated R Superfart in that ring, he would've tried not to make that affair happen. But Edge! He relished in every piece of joy he had with you, and every piece of pain Matt ever experienced."

"Are you jealous that our true and loving relationship has lasted longer than your sham of a practical joke that you cooked up with Edge's little "brother", with, may I add, the permission of his wife?" Lita quipped, stepping up to the plate and giving Trish a little something to think about.

"Actually, that was for fun, to get back at Jericho for that Canadian dollar bet, so I had a reason that you could have easily implemented yourself," Trish explained.

"I moved on," Lita countered. "It's that simple."

"Then when will you move on from being Edge's little whore?" Rob Van Dam asked, the question pleasing many DX and 3 Xtreme fans everywhere.

"Yeah, you'd have been told something about having a little whore. In fact, that's all your boy Triple H ever made out of Mr. McMahon's princess," Edge cleverly countered. The surprised sound from the crowd told us all that fans assumed that to be a diss to Vince, which for some reason the boss backed up by shouting off that Edge was telling the truth. Meanwhile, the Rated R Superstar continued. "Oh, and for your information: Lita's not my little whore. She's my girlfriend! There's a difference! And if you want Lita to go out there and run into men's matches doing moonsaults and hurracanranas and going through tables and all that crap she used to do in the past, that was Matt Hardy's deal!"

"That's a lie!" Rob shot immediately. "She used to do the same things with Danny Doring and Roadkill in ECW, and then with Essa Rios when she first came here, and all that was before meeting up with her old friends the Hardy Boyz again! That wasn't just Matt Hardy's deal, that was all real Lita!" (insert cheers)

"We know the truth, Lita. There's a part of you, deep down inside, that's absolutely miserable about what you're doing with Edge," Trish added, causing Lita to plead to Edge that these guys were not telling the truth. "The way I see it, Edge is scared that if you get back your ways that you'll come crawling back to Matt Hardy and leave him. Either that or you're nothing but a piece of sexpot property to the Rated R Superstar. If you don't get out of there or get some kind of control back soon, Edge wlil take you and get you pregnant the minute he's got himself and you feeling that much better than you should be."

"Ladies and gentlemen, this public service announcement is brought to you by your new friends, Rob Van Dam and Trish Stratus, from D-Generation X! And here to remind you that if you're not down with that, then we've got two words for ya!" RVD shouted, following which he and Trish held the DX mics up to the sky for those who were down with that, specifically the WWE fans, to say the two words they had for those who were not down with that, specifically the McMahonists. ("SUCK IT!") "Uh… those aren't the two words that we were thinking about. The two words are actually a name. A name that Vince McMahon is gonna remember really, really well."

"Oh, really? And what do we care what name deserves to replace the two infamous words of… _suck it_?" Edge asked, making humor out of the words "suck it", leading to a small chorus of boos.

"Well, Edge. It's real unfortunate that you don't care, because truly… you should. You all should. Because the two words we got for ya are…" Trish began, following which she motioned to Rob to say it with her…

"…_**Austin 3:16!"**_

The minute those two words stepped out of the mouth of ½ of the team known as the single greatest force in the universe, the audience became riotous, and all the McMahonists froze in total and complete shock… all of which was only continued and further enhanced by the sound of glass shattering and the entrance theme music of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin blaring on. The spell went even further when Austin himself walked out from the Gorilla position and kept on walking down the ramp in his ever-serious walk. The fans showed much respect when Austin came into the ring via steps and ropes, and raised his arms with the middle finger stuck up on each of the two turnbuckles that were in front of the McMahons. He then went to cross over to the other two, but found that there were McMahonists and a podium in his way. So, he kicked the podium down, went to the outside, past the McMahons, and raised his arms with the one-finger salute right in front of the announce table. After a handshake with his ecstatic friend JR and successfully getting a microphone, Austin walked around and back into the ring, receiving chants with his name on 'em! Finally, after the ovation of about 16 seconds, Austin 3:16 began to speak up.

"Looks to me like these people missed old Stone Cold," Austin said on the mic to many cheering fans. "Now, from what I've heard, it sounds like you're pretty unpopular around these parts, Vince, and so is Edge here, as well as everyone else standing behind you. As for why I'm here, it ain't that hard to figure out. Y'see, Eric Bischoff, ("what") in his infinite wisdom, ("what") figured he might be asked to take the night off after that stipulation against your holy Spirit Squad. ("what") So he called up old Stone Cold, ("what") asked me to take over, ("what") and took a trip to TNA offices late last week to try and work a deal for an old friend of Edge's to come back here for a few spells. From what I heard, Christian Cage is really lookin' forward to it. Now all they gotta do is kinda finalize some details. Seein's how I got no intent to watch Raw completely screwed up by Vince McMahon, I decided to step up to the plate and take the spot. And from what I hear, someone wants to show all three of ya (Edge, Vince, and Shane) up front that he's the best performer in this business." (insert cheers)

"Who are you talking about? Christian?" Edge mockingly asked. "Excuse me, but Christian… Christian is apparently on peepcrack again, whereas I am awesome!"

"First of all, unlike Vince McMahon, Christian's Peeps ain't on crack," Austin stated in disagreement, granting him the fanatic pops once again. "Now, whether or not he's the greatest performer in this business remains to be seen, but I got some matches to book tonight to really teach you a lesson in respect. (insert cheers) See, it's like this. The guy never told me, but I know why Eric Bischoff made that stipulation that Kenny Doane is the only Spirit Squad member that can't get fired as a result of tonight. It's real simple: everyone knows backstage that outside bein' part of the Spirit Squad, Kenny Doane is in a relationship with the female elder of McMahonism, Mickie James. Hell, I saw 'em holding hands and kissing before he met up with Mikey Mondo earlier today! And if I were Eric Bischoff, I wouldn't want to deal with some crazy hottie kicking and screaming at me for ten hours straight. But the fact is, I'm not Eric Bischoff! I'm Stone Cold! And I say to hell with the kicking and screaming! If they lose the tag team titles, the entire Spirit Squad gets fired, including Kenny! (insert huge cheers Mickie starts screaming at Austin) Oh, and you might want to be at ringside to support your boyfriend, Mickie, so if I were you, I'd shut up unless you want me to give you a stunner." (insert cheers as Mickie stops)

"You have no right to do that! You're not an authority!" Shane immediately shot, earning the boos of the world. "Last time you showed up here, Austin, you chickened out of a match with Coach because you were "injured" after moving furniture!"

"Speakin' of Christian, Edge. He wanted me to tell ya: nice lil' sarcastic rib last week," Austin replied, completely ignoring Shane's insult. "By the way, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Victoria, and John Cena may not be here tonight, but that's 'cause they've got some stuff prepared for ya next week. Anyway, tonight, I'm gonna book a couple matches for the next two WWE pay-per-view events. And I'm booking, ("what") as a team, ("what") in those two matches, ("what") Christian Cage himself, ("what") and a woman who you don't think can wrestle. ("what") A woman who hasn't been seen in the last couple of weeks, but who's got just as much to do with this Insurrexion against ya, Vince, as the Chain Gang and DX. (insert cheers) A woman who, in her time as a WWE Diva, has managed and/or stood by great men such as… the steroid monkeys of wrestling, Test and Scott Steiner, (insert boos) one of the greatest tag teams in the history of this business, Team 3D, then known as the Dudley Boyz, (insert cheers) the biggest "well-endowed" womanizer in this business since Vince McMahon, "the Legend Killer" Randy Orton, (insert mixed reaction) the man who would eventually become Orton's Evolution buddy, then go on to leave Evolution and singlehandedly destroy it, "the Animal" Dave Batista, (insert loud cheers) and yes. Even, though at different times, Vince and Shane McMahon. (insert loud boos) And now, she's brought the Insurrexion! She got the Chain Gang together! She's friends with DX! She's responsible for Eric Bischoff, and by extension, me, standin' here as GM! And even though she's not here tonight, (insert groans) I'm gonna go ahead and announce that in two WWE pay-per-view events, Summerslam and Unforgiven, as long as this deal with Eric Bischoff doesn't fall through, you will see the tag team of Stacy Keibler and TNA's big boy, "Captain Charisma" Christian Cage! (insert cheers) At Summerslam, Stacy and Christian'll take on any intergender tag team of Vince McMahon's choosing, and if they win, at Unforgiven, it will be against the WWE Champion and any woman of his choice, for the WWE title. But you see, there's a twist. Each match will be an intergender "women's falls" tag team match, which means the women have to be the ones involved in the decision, although both the men and the women may be legal. And to be honest, I think Christian's gonna lead Stacy to the promised land and she's gonna score both pinfalls, proving once and for all that McMahonist women are weak and unable to do anything for themselves, if the teams chosen are indeed associated with McMahonism, that Stacy Keibler ain't as soft as you think she is, and that Christian is, in his words, the one true superstar in this industry."

"What the hell is all this?" Vince immediately demanded. "You can't be booking outsiders from down south to come to WWE and wrestle, especially not for the title! Who the hell do you think you are?"

"He quit! He doesn't belong here! There's no way in hell we're letting someone from that company in any arena during any time in which that arena is our building!" Shane backed his father, being jeered severely once again as a result.

"Shane, does it matter?" Edge interrupted to ask. "Since I plan on becoming the WWE Champion anyway, I'm looking forward to me and Lita facing Stacy and Christian at Unforgiven so that I can shut him up once and for all!"

"We'll see about that. Now, two things. One's for Edge: you're not even the #1 contender for the title yet. If you wanna shut Christian up, you gotta become #1 contender, win the title at Summerslam, then defend in his match at Unforgiven. Two's for Vince: you might wanna take your church outta this ring, cause we've got a show to begin. And that's the bottom line 'cause Stone Cold said so!" the Texas Rattlesnake shouted, after which he gave McMahonism his one-finger salute. Austin's music played on, and all the Missionaries tried to chase after him, but he just harmlessly slid out of the ring. As he was backing up the ramp, he signaled for Steveweisers and a couple of them were thrown his way. The Texas Rattlesnake opened the cans of beer, toasted them, and tried to chug them both up at the same time, which ended up in his "Stunner Inc." shirt stained with beer. Meanwhile, Mr. McMahon was scowling the whole time.

While walking to his office in the back, Steve Austin was met by the two members of the Chain Gang that were here tonight, and for a very important reason, Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku.

"Stone Cold!" Matt called as he and Austin walked up to one another, then met up with a handshake. "What's up, man?"

"Hey, Matt, what's up? How's life treatin' ya?" Austin greeted back.

"Considering what I'm back on Raw about, I'm doing well," Matt answered. "I get to hang out with my buddy Cena, get a little even with Vince McMahon, and now you guys are bringing back Christian for a bit."

"Taboo Tuesday, I heard them chants. "We want Christian! We want Christian!" That's what they were sayin'. I knew WWE had lost somethin' special," Austin explained. "So when Bischoff told me he was gonna try and bring Christian back for awhile to get back at Vince McMahon, I felt no choice but to fill in."

"Thank you, Austin. It's nice to know that you, like the real wrestling fans, don't believe in "God"," Taka acknowledged in respect to the Texas Rattlesnake, being sarcastic as he said "God".

"If by "God", you mean "Vince McMahon"," Austin began, to which the Kaientai Kid nodded, "then you're damn right I don't believe in "God". He makes me sick. Anyway, Mickie stopped screaming and didn't get Stunnered, so she's gonna be ringside, so you might want to get Trish up," Austin advised his fellow anti-McMahonists.

"Actually, we don't need to," Matt declined.

"Why?" Austin asked.

"She's standing ringside for RVD's match with Edge, and when we said Stacy wasn't here, we lied to fool Mr. McMahon," Matt revealed.

"Shrewd move. Well, good luck. You guys got an important tag match up next," Austin reminded them.

"Thanks, man. See ya," Matt said, after which he and Taka both shook hands with Austin, and a few more goodbyes were exchanged. Stone Cold continued walking to his office, and the Chain Gang tag partners approached the curtains. Meanwhile, in the Spirit Squad's locker room, Kenny Doane and Mikey Mondo were talking about the World Tag Team Titles and their jobs being on the line, and for once, their jumpy mood was gone. A knock came on the door, and Kenny opened it, to find Mickie, who had a green and white Spirit Squad cheerleader's outfit in her hands. Kenny and Mickie enjoyed a kiss, after which she finally came into the room.

"Mickie, why'd you come here?" Kenny asked curiously. "I thought we weren't supposed to be seen together on Raw."

"Right now, I don't care. If you lose the titles, you'll be fired. If there's any time to break the difference, it's now," Mickie replied. "I'm not letting you lose, Kenny. Mr. McMahon needs the Spirit Squad. And I need you."

"Hey, hey, hey, Kenny," Mikey half whispered, stepping in front of his teammate. "What's with the cheerleader outfit she's got?"

"Oh, it's just a little bit of tribute to you guys I've been saving. I figure now's the time to wear it, too," Mickie explained. "Where's the bathroom so I can change?"

"Down that way," Kenny told her, pointing down the hallway outside.

"Let's go!" Mickie exclaimed. She skipped outside the room, and the Spirit Squad followed her.

A few minutes later, the most annoying sound in wrestling was heard once again.

"Kenny!"

"Johnny!"

"Mitch!"

"Nicky!"

"Mikey!"

"And we are… the Spirit Squad!"

Kenny Doane and Mikey Mondo of the Spirit Squad came out with the World Tag Team Titles, but they were also accompanied by Women's Champion Mickie James, who had now changed into a green and white cheerleader uniform complete with green skirt and pom-poms, similar to Kenny and Mikey's uniforms complete with green pants. As the white pyro rained down from behind the spirited trio, they were jumping up and down, hyper as usual, all three of them. Once it stopped, Mickie skipped on ahead as Kenny and Mikey walked down the ramp shouting. Mickie slid into the ring and did her usual thing on the turnbuckle, and was followed by Kenny and Mikey jumping over the green ringside trampoline they had set up. The fans booed every second if it, but then the Chain Gang's theme music, "Chain Gang is the Click" by John Cena and Trademarc, another song off "You Can't See Me", came on. As they realized what the song was, the fans grew ecstatic, and Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku, the challengers for the Tag Team Titles, finally walked out. Stacy Keibler, Christian Cage's tag team partner for Unforgiven and Summerslam, was right behind the Chain Gang partners, wearing a suit with glasses and having her hair tucked into a pigtail. With their usual battle outfits on, Hardy raised his V1 hand signal at the stage, then did a high five with Taka, after which they walked down the ramp, then separated as Matt came in the ring via steps and ropes, then got on the turnbuckle and did his V1 thing again, while Taka went the opposite way to the other steel steps on the other side of the ring and went on the turnbuckle and posed from there. They met up in their corner, and the bell finally rang for the match to begin.

Kenny and Matt Hardy were the ones chosen to start the match, and they locked up in the center of the ring. Kenny hit Matt with a knee to the gut, then got in a headlock, backing Matt into the ropes. Matt used the reverse of the momentum to push off, sending Kenny to the ropes on the other side. Doane thought he had a shoulder block, but Matt Hardy hit a drop toe hold on the Lebron James of the Spirit Squad. Matt then took Kenny and dragged him back to the Chain Gang corner, after which Taka made the blind tag and came into the ring. As Matt still held on to Kenny's leg, Taka hit an elbow drop to the back. Taka picked up Kenny, then quickly turned his back and hit a snapmare, which was quickly followed with a dropkick to Kenny's upper back. Taka then got up, ran past Doane, went off the ropes, and fell down, tripped by Mikey Mondo. Mickie cheered at the trip-up move, while the fans booed at her and the Spirit Squad. Kenny saw his partner's move and immediately realized that he had the advantage, rolling away from Matt Hardy and getting up to walk toward Taka as he did so. Kenny picked up Taka and gave him a vertical suplex, then covered Taka. 1, 2, and a kickout by Taka. As Taka began to get up, Kenny ran off the ropes and came back with a running swinging neck breaker to Taka, then tagged in Mikey.

Mondo came into the ring, then stomped on Taka a little bit, before picking him up and backing him all the way into the Squad's corner. Mikey and Kenny then both slapped Taka on each side of the head (both left/right and front/back, at the same time), before Mikey tagged in Kenny and, as Doane came in the ring, both men set Taka up on the top rope, then threw him halfway across the ring. However, before he could dare try and tag in Matt Hardy, Kenny came to Taka, pulled him back by the head, and quickly turned and leaped to hit Taka with a leg drop across the neck. Kenny made the cover, resulting in a two-count as Michinoku once again survived to live another day. Kenny Doane sent Taka to the outside of the ring, then did Matt Hardy's little wave thing in his face, taunting him enough for him to get into the ring and distract the referee as Mikey and Mickie stomped away at him, then brought him back into the ring. Mickie clapped and cheered as her boyfriend now had an advantage. After Matt finally cooled down and the damage was done, Kenny made the cover. 1, 2, and Taka once again kicked out. After banging the mat in frustration, Kenny went up to the second rope, and waited for Taka to get up. Once he did so, Kenny dove off for a clothesline, but Taka dove down forward, getting out of harm's way! However, the resulting cheers could only last so long, as Mikey dragged Taka down to the outside and began to beat away on him with punches to the back of the neck. Mickie James was limited to talking trash at Taka, since the referee was watching, and if she had touched him at all, the ref would have seen and most certainly disqualified their team. They'd still have the titles, but she didn't trust Austin.

Mikey soon picked Taka up and sent him rolling into the ring, after which Kenny dropped his knee into Taka's sternum, then went behind Taka and locked in a sleeper. As Kenny exerted the pressure on Taka, he, Mikey, and Mickie all started calling and screaming for Taka to tap out. However, Matt Hardy started banging on the turnbuckle in his corner, Stacy started banging on the apron, and the two of them were leading all the fans into a "TAKA!" chant, which grew with every passing second. As soon as Kenny turned towards the fans to scream at them to shut up, Taka finally got enough strength in his right arm to swing behind himself and hit Kenny in the head with a punch. He punched Kenny's head behind him again, then finally began to carry himself, as well as Kenny, back up to a vertical base. Once he did so, he elbowed Kenny's midsection several times, finally causing Kenny to let go. However, he didn't try to run off the ropes to attack Kenny. He just hit him with a few right hands, backing Kenny into his own corner, and then dropkicked Kenny, causing the Spirit Squad's crown jewel to fall down into a seated position in the corner. As Mikey tagged himself in and entered the ring, Taka decided to take him down with a springboard moonsault off the second rope! After this, Kenny tried to take advantage and get up, but was met with a hurracanrana for his charging troubles. Seeing that Kenny was not the legal man, Taka did not lock in a cover, instead opting to tag in Matt Hardy as Stacy clapped and cheered this time!

Matt went into the ring, and started firing rights and lefts all over Mikey, backing him into the ropes before irishwhipping him. However, the irishwhip was countered by Mikey, who escaped the ring and tried to go around to the trampoline set up on the outside. As Kenny got up and took Matt Hardy's attention, Hardy had his back turned to Mikey, who leaped over the top rope with the help of his trampoline and hit a bulldog to Matt Hardy! Stacy Keibler got up on the apron, distracting the referee in fear that Mikey would cover Matt Hardy. However, they were about to do something else. Mikey picked up Matt and then set him up in a bearhug with Matt's head to upper chest held out, and Kenny went up top. Knowing what he was going for, the fans immediately booed. However, right as Kenny was about to dive, Hardy hit Mikey with a thumb to the eye, temporarily blinding Mikey and causing him to drop Hardy, and take a couple of steps forward. Kenny failed to notice and stop himself in time, causing the leg drop to become a seated senton on Mikey! Immediately seeing his mistake after he got up, Kenny began to panic and eventually kneeled down to check on Mikey. During this time, Matt Hardy got up. Seconds later, Kenny Doane got up, then was dropkicked into the corner. Matt Hardy then came over to his partners and said some things to Taka and to Stacy. After he turned around, Stacy got up on the apron with her back turned and started shaking her booty. Matt pointed the referee to this, after which he came over there. Matt went down on all fours, and Taka got in the ring and leapt over Matt right into Kenny in Poetry in Motion! Taka then quickly left the ring and took Mikey out, after which Hardy hit Kenny with the Twist of Fate. Stacy got off the apron, and the ref paid attention to the action inside the ring once again as Matt Hardy made the cover on Kenny. Mickie James, meanwhile, tried to get into the ring to stop the count and save the titles for the Squad, but Taka noticed and slid into the ring, then tackled her by the legs to intercept her. The count went untouched, 1, 2, 3, and with a few tricks of their own, the Chain Gang just got rid of the Spirit Squad!

"Here are your winners, and the new World Tag Team Champions, Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku!"

As Matt Hardy's music came on, Stacy Keibler got in the ring, and the referee was handed the tag team titles from the outside. He gave them to Stacy, who gave them to the two new winners of the gold, and soon came the picturesque moment: Matt, Stacy, and Taka had their hands raised in victory, Matt and Taka holding a World Tag Team Championship belt in the hand that wasn't held by Stacy. Meanwhile, Mickie immediately crawled over to Kenny, crying her socks off about the fact that she wasn't going to see him here on Raw anymore. Soon, the unstable Mickie got up and tackled Stacy, then assaulted her with stiff right hands. However, Hardy and Taka were right there to tear Mickie away from Stacy. She tried to get up, then to jump over/through them to get to Stacy again, but without effort, they ended up giving her a double team slam. They merely caught her to stop her, but she pushed off and ended up slamming herself down, as she cried and clawed hysterically, her hands over her head in tears. Meanwhile, the fans cheered through all of this, because this meant the Spirit Squad was done, no matter how much crying Mickie James did to keep them. Matt, seeing this and relishing in the opportunity of the moment, smiled at the sight and went to get a microphone. Once he got it, he returned to the ring.

"Hey, could somebody back there play the Spirit Squad's music for me for one second?" Matt Hardy asked, sending the crowd into a frenzy. Just as appropriately, the music started playing, and Matt repeated the Spirit Squad's names right along with them as follows: "Kenny! Johnny! Mitch! Nicky! Mikey! Yes, you are… the Spirit Wads!" As the Spirit Squad music came on for one last time, the entertained crowd cheered and laughed right along with Hardy as Mickie continued her embarrassed crying. Mikey was now back up on his two feet, and he dragged Kenny to the outside and helped him get and stay up. Once fully back to his senses, Kenny called Mickie over, after which she went to the outside with him, crying in his arms about not being able to see him. At the moment, it apparently still hadn't sunk in yet that he was fired along with his entire green team. But it was true, and the trio inside the ring were loving it. Finally, the Spirit Squad music was interrupted by Steve Austin's glass shattering, and his music coming on. The spirited trio tried to run away through the audience, but that was a trap, as there was Austin, to knock down Kenny and Mikey. Stone Cold then got guards to come over and handcuff Kenny and Mikey, then escourt them roughly out of the arena, all the while his music was on. The Women's Champion continued crying for Kenny to not be fired, the Insurrexion trio left, and the crowd started chanting the "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye!" song at the Spirit Squad, as we left for commercial break.

Later on in the night, after Carlito and Charlie Haas defeated Chris Masters and Lance Cade in a tag team match, we saw Maria at the interview area.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am standing live with my boyfriend CM Punk, the lovely "Queen of Extreme" Lita, and the awesome Rated R Superstar himself, Edge," she said in all her usual bubblyness, resulting in more boos than cheers back at the arena. The three aforementioned now appeared on the camera. "Edge, you told me back at the locker room that you wanted to shoot some comments about-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, chill Todd. I've got this," Edge cut in, stopping as Lita told him who this was. "Shoot. My bad. It's not who I thought it was. It's you. The incredible, beautiful, and quite frankly, awesome Bodacious Brunette, Maria, a fellow disciple of McMahonism, and the girlfriend of my good buddy standing right over there, CM Punk. Speaking of you, Punk, I seem to recall that you're a straight edge guy. You don't smoke, you don't do drugs, you don't have _promiscuous_ sex, you don't drink beer… which, by the way, means you and me have got something in common. See, you believe in one of my old catchphrases: sodas rule. Don't you?"

"When you put it that way, yes I do," Punk replied politely. "I have a Pepsi tattoo on my left shoulder. I like Pepsi."

"Whoa, you even have an idea which sodas rule. Nice job," Lita commented while nodding impressedly.

"Off that. We did have a few issues to shoot on," Edge finally said, getting serious. "For one, why do you people like the Spirit Squad getting fired? They were completely awesome. They showed more than anyone else ever could show on this Raw. They showed energy. They showed enthusiasm. They showed togetherness. They showed passion. But more importantly, during their time here on Raw, they showed Spirit, and not just any. They showed the true essence and spirit of what is McMahonism. Why do you think that our great lord Vince McMahon made them his Holy Spirits? Trust me. It felt weird saying that, but it certainly didn't suck. Anyway, to Kenny Doane, Johnny Jeter, Nick "Mitch" Mitchell, Nicky Nemeth, and Mikey Mondo, the five young gentleman and McMahonism extremists that are the Spirit Squad: we miss you guys already. Mickie still hasn't stopped crying all night long ever since those pompous rebels called Matt Hardy, Taka, Stacy Keibler, and Stone Cold, not to forget Eric Bitchoff, got you guys fired. And I promise you, Mr. McMahon has made it a personal mission to rid Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku of these tag team titles. He's already started talking to Theodore Long about getting you guys jobs on Smackdown, where there's an even weaker tag team division, completely made up of cruiserweights. No big deal for you guys. Foley's in the back consoling her, so that's why he's not with us at the moment. But I also wanted to shoot my mouth off about Christian. See, apparently, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin is telling us that the awesome Show Stealer himself, "Captain Charisma" Christian Cage, seriously thinks he can show up in WWE programming and try and become the WWE Champion. Well, I'll tell you the truth around here. There's only one man here destined to take the WWE Championship from Triple H, and that man is standing right here! It's either me, or my good buddy CM Punk! Last I recall, Christian, when we were partners, little man, there was only one set of footprints in the sand. We reeked of awesomeness, and nothing hit the fan, but I didn't walk with you, I carried your sorry can! Now that's rhyme skills. So Matt Hardy wants to fight me. What else is new? I kicked his ass with Christian, I kicked his ass without Christian, I kicked his ass with Lita by my side, I kicked his ass when his brother Jeff was here and Lita was _his_ girlfriend! And that thug, John Cena? (Maria's smile disappears) He's got nothing on-"

"Hold it!" Punk shot, stopping Edge. "I need to get in some words in edgewise on this one, too, no pun intended."

"None taken," Edge replied.

"John Cena, you're nothing but a sorry ass street thug looking for the next innocent piece of tail that comes along. That's why you're not getting anywhere near my girl! Can't you see that?" Punk shot at the absent Doctor of Thuganomics. "Can't you understand what we've been trying to tell you for the longest time? She's with me! CM Punk! Straight Edge 24/7! She doesn't need you! You're all over the place in your little crush on her, and it's not healthy for you, or for anyone else in this whole picture. I don't know what kind of mission statement you've got going on, but you're not gonna shake me. I will stay solid, my girlfriend will stay true, and there is no chance in hell that you take Maria from me, or that you become WWE Champion before Edge and I both do. But then again, being the street thug that you are, you don't understand a thing. You? You've gone to college, and you've lived in a lavish townhouse. You and your cousin Trademarc just grew affectionate with the streets while you were at it, so you rapped and wrestled at the same time, came to WWE, slowly adapted yourself into that gritty thug, street soldier mentality that we see today. As you went further and further into success, you came down to the streets. Me? I came up from the streets. I was born in Chicago. Raised in the streets. I saw people get handed everything on a silver platter, the entire situation specifically catered to them, while I had to scrap and fight for everything I ever did. But I didn't go around selling drugs. I stayed clean. I sustained, and grew, discipline. I adapted myself to numerous types of fighting, including the most disciplined of all: professional wrestling. I became a real man. A straight edge man. The right man for the girl interviewing us as we speak. More importantly, and not to sound like Randy Orton, but I'm better looking than you, I understand Maria better than you do, and I'm more skilled inside the ring than you'll ever be. I am just plain superior to you, Cena. And so is every McMahonist in those locker rooms. So get the point already! I am "Straight Edge 24/7" CM Punk! And that means that for 24 hous a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, - plus one in a leap year - I'm alcohol-free, drug free, and better than you!"

With that, Edge and Lita left the area, and Punk soon followed with Maria under his arm.

Come main event time, Rob Vam Dam's music came on, starting up heavy cheers, and its usual firework blast happened before he came out to the ring accompanied by Trish Stratus. As the two just walked down the ramp, RVD rolled into the ring, and Trish climbed the steel steps but stayed on the apron. Rob raised his arms up high while spinning and jumping, then stopped and did his thumb thing right as Lilian Garcia said his name while announcing him. He and Trish exchanged a high five, then RVD did a "suck it" crotch chop, setting off the same style of fireworks, except this time, at the four corners of the ring. Then, out came Edge, to his usual entrance theme, and he and Lita came out of the smoke in that usual dance and kiss pose, before walking down the ramp hand in hand. They both then slid into the ring in the own usual style, Lita getting on her knees, then to her feet, after which Edge came on one knee and pressed her waist against his head. He then went on the turnbuckle and started shouting at the fans, after which he got off and went to the middle rope on the other side, bouncing as usual. He did receive some cheers for the somewhat entertaining promo, but was mostly given the silent treatment.

Then, the bell finally rang, after which Edge got a little cocky and started laughing at Rob Van Dam. Rob faked a charge at him and made him back up into the corner. Edge slowly crept out of the corner as Rob was jumping up and down, waiting for the opportunity to strike. Lita then came on the apron. Rob started to look to see what she would do, but remembered what happened last time he paid attention to a promiscuous girl and blew her off, going after Edge to hit a forearm to his face. Edge, however, sidestepped it and reverse the positions, trapping Rob in the corner with a series of forearms, punches, and stomp kicks, taking him down to a seated position. Edge then facewashed Rob, which at this early point in the match was overly disrespectful, so Rob pushed Edge's boot away as soon as it came off his face, tripping Edge down. RVD got up, as did Edge, and the two began to trade forearms, during which Edge pushed Rob back and irishwhipped him into the opposite corner. RVD managed to leap up backwards from the corner, getting behind the charging Edge. As RVD started walking closer to Edge, however, the Rated R Superstar turned around to him with a spinning leg lariat! Edge then pulled RVD back by the head away from the ropes, and hooked his leg for a cover. 1, 2, RVD kicked out.

Edge then picked up Rob and got him in a vertical suplex. Following this, he went for another cover on the Zen Soldier, and RVD kicked out after two. Edge then locked in a headlock on RVD, using it as a rest hold as well as hoping that Rob would probably go away. However, that would not last long, as RVD managed to get himself and Edge to a vertical base, then fight his way out of it with a few elbows. RVD went to try and run for the ropes, but Edge threw him down and came down, starting to mount on him with right hands. The referee reached 3 on his DQ count before Edge stopped punching Rob. Edge took RVD and hung his neck on the second ropes, then drove his knee into RVD's neck and spinal cord to choke him on the ropes, getting off when the DQ count was on four. Edge then argued with the referee, allowing Lita to push RVD's head down for even more choking. As Lita got off, Edge stopped dealing with the ref and ran off the ropes, then leapt forward, groin first into Rob's spine. Van Dam fell down and started favoring his back in pain as Edge posed to the crowd and received the world's jeers for his efforts for yet another night. Lita, however, clapped.

Edge then picked up RVD from behind by the shoulders and locked him in a reverse headlock, before falling and taking Rob down in a reverse DDT. Edge covered Rob again, but not only did he kick out, but right as he did, the ref noticed that one of his feet was now underneath the ropes. While the ref admonished Edge about that and the Rated R Superstar got into yet another argument with him, Lita went around the ring, pushed Trish down, and came on the apron, pulling the rising Van Dam's head back so that the back of his neck was being pressed against the ropes. She then let go and hid underneath the ring, after which Edge stopped arguing with the referee and went back to focusing on his enemy in the ring. Edge then locked in a camel clutch on RVD, and the fans were beginning to get a little angry. As the ref looked at the situation, he was about to go down and ask Rob if he as ready to give up, but then noticed Rob's legs once again went under the ropes. He told Edge to let go and started making a count, but the Rated R Superstar figured out what the problem was and simply hopped forward while keeping the move locked in so that Rob was no longer under the ropes. At this point, the ref did as if he was ready to quit, before he elbowed over his head, trying - and succeeding - at landing on Edge. With several elbows to the head of Edge, Van Dam managed to break the hold. Edge quickly got up and went to grab Rob by the leg, but the martial arts expert of DX turned his body around and kicked away, using his other leg. Finally, RVD got up, pushed Edge into the corner, and did a monkey flip pulling leg thrust to take Edge down.

After this, Rob found Edge in the opposite corner and flipped him over in the tree of woe, following which he thrust his shoulder into Edge's upside-down gut seveal times, before doing a backflip and running his shoulder straight into the ribs of Edge, causing the man to fall down in pain. Rob then got in a Magistral cradle which took Edge away from the ropes, allowing for a clean cover, but it only resulted in a two count. Edge kicked out, but then RVD came after him, hit him with a few forearms, then irishwhipped him. Edge countered it, but telegraphed a back body drop, resulting in RVD turning it into a DDT. Rob then ran off the ropes and went for the Rolling Thunder senton, but was given spine pain once again, as Edge put his knees up, Van Dam goig spine first into the unharmed knee of Edge. The Rated R Superstar rolled over into a cover as Rob was favoring his spine, which continued on even further after Rob's kickout. Now beginning to get frustrated, Edge argued with the referee about "that was three" for one second, before reverting his focus right back to his opponent, who was beginning to roll out of the ring. Edge pulled Van Dam back by the ponytail of his hair, then dropped a couple of elbows into his chest before covering again. And again, RVD kicked out after two and strained his own spine just one more inch. Edge now had RVD in his control.

Edge now began to get a little confident that it was time for a high risk move, so he went up to the top rope and waited for Rob Van Dam to pick himself through the pain attacking his upper body. RVD finally got up, Edge went for a missile dropkick, and he was right on the money. Edge then went to cover Rob again, and this time, Edge was sure he had won. As Edge shook his head, the ref slapped his hand on the mat for the count. 1… 2… NO! RVD still found the strength to put a shoulder up! Wasn't he at all concerned for his own well being and future opportunity? Apparently not. Edge started to seethe and tremble in anger, pulled his hair back, then got up and shot at the referee, getting instantly pissed off. Lita tried to come into the ring to beg Edge to focus, but to no avail, as he shoved her away, not even looking to see that it was Lita, and continued to fight with the referee. She tried to talk to him again, but again, he shoved her off. This time, she rolled outside, and was met with a slap and a tackle from Trish! Meanwhile, RVD was actually on all fours, crawling towards Edge, which he failed to notice. Failing to notice turned out to be Edge's almost fatal mistake, as Rob took him into the school boy pin cover, and the referee quickly counted. 1, 2, and Edge barely kicked out. Edge soon got mad and swung for a kick to RVD's head as he was on his knees, but RVD ducked, tripped up Edge, then fought to pick himself up. Once he did, Edge was already up and off the ropes, running towards him for a Spear attempt. But with a spinning heel kick, RVD knocked Edge down. Both men got up at the same time, RVD riding on a little bit of momentum. Rob again came at Edge with a group of forearms, backing him into the ropes. He then irishwhipped him, and Edge went down to try a monkey flip on Edge again. Edge landed on his feet, however, but then he started posing, and RVD had the perfect opportunity to dropkick him and knock him over the top. Rob did so, but Edge skinned the cat, holding onto the rope until he was hanging vertically, his feet super close to the floor. That's when he let go, but after he did, walked off a bit, and turned around, he was met with a baseball slide from Edge. Edge got, up, and Lita even stepped in front of him to protect him, but Rob still catapulted over the ropes into a diving body press, knocking both Edge and Lita down!

The cheers for Van Dam piling up, RVD got up, entered the ring, and did his R-V-D thumb taunt, to which Trish clapped and cheered, before going to the outside, picking up Edge, and rolling him into the ring. Rob then went on the apron, made his way up the turnbuckle, and when Edge finally got up, hit a diving karate kick into Edge's chest, knocking him down. He then covered Edge. 1… 2… no, Edge kicked out! Van Dam, seeing this, went up top once again, this time with his back turned to the ring, going for a split-legged moonsault. However, after noticing how much of a chore it was to get back up there this soon, he went back down without committing any impact. Rob walked over to Edge and went to pick him up, but was suddenly pulled down into an inside cradle from Edge! 1, 2, and Rob still kicked out! Both Rob and Edge were beginning to be a little woozed up over the scene of this match, and both men were struggling to get up. Trish and the crowd were cheering and chanting for RVD to get up, though, and then came Rob hitting a right hand on Edge. Edge fired back with a right hand of his own. Rob hit another right hand, Edge immediately fired back, and soon, these two guys were trading right hands until Rob Van Dam blocked Edge's right and started to hit his usual combination of low kicks, followed by that jumping spin kick knocking Edge back and through the ropes to the outside, showing exactly why they call RVD the Man of Educated Feet. However, Edge landed on his feet, and now started to bang the mat in frustration. Edge soon slid into the ring. RVD went for a high spinning heel kick, but Edge managed to duck, run off the ropes behind him, and lunge for a Spear. He did hit the hot target, but Edge was too pooped to immediately capitalize. However, he did get the cover, and it was 1, 2, NO! RVD still managed to kick out!

Now Edge was getting seriously, seriously angry. He hit RVD with right hand after right hand after right hand while mounted on top of the more spectacular man, leading to the referee's disqualification count starting up again, and the crowd jeering severely, before Edge got up after four and started pacing around the ring. Trish was also looking mightily concerned for her friend and DX partner in Rob Van Dam. but couldn't do anything about it now. Edge again started shooting off at the ref, but this time was able to start paying attention again in time to see RVD still down. Edge went to pick him up, but Van Dam got him in an inside cradle! 1, 2, EDGE KICKED OUT AGAIN! This match still isn't over! This was pay-per-view quality action these people were seeing here, and yet it was being delivered for free right into our living rooms!

Edge kicked RVD in the midsection, then locked his head in for the Edgecution, but Van Dam managed to spin out and get Edge in a hammerlock before kicking Edge's back, then turning him around, catching one of his legs, then using it to lift and slam Edge down like a powerbomb. (the **Leg Sweep Bomb** from Day of Reckoning 2) He didn't stay on the cover, however, jumping onto the turnbuckle facing the ring. However, before he could hit off his move, presumably the Five Star Frog Splash, RVD found his leg being pulled by the son of the boss, Shane McMahon, the same guy that hit him with the chair. He kicked Shane off, after which Trish came to slap Shane, but was pie-faced by the Boy Wonder as a result. Rob almost thought about falling back to hit Shane, but Trish sharply turned around and faked a lunge, after which Shane ceremoniously begged off and went over to where Lita was just starting to get up and recover from that cross body. Edge, by now, was starting to rise. RVD saw that he was on one knee and getting to his feet, screwing up his original plan. He flew up for a cross body, but ended up getting a dropkick in mid-air! Edge, the man who administered the dropkick, got up, and saw that Shane was with his girl helping her up. He then nodded, picked up RVD, locked his head in, and hit the Edgecution, then covered. 1, 2, 3. Graciously, it was finally over.

"Here is your winner, EDGE!"

Shane McMahon helped Lita, rolling her into the ring, and got on the apron and crossed the ropes to get in himself. Edge shook hands and touched shoulders with Shane, then went to help up Lita. After she told him something, he and Shane McMahon started to stomp away on RVD. Soon, it was Edge stomping, and Shane on one knee punching Van Dam in the face. That's when the new World Tag Team Champions of the Chain Gang quickly rushed to the ring to try and save RVD, which the trio of McMahonists noticed. They quickly high tailed it right there, leaving the ring, but staying at ringside. As Taka and Matt Hardy helped Trish check on RVD, Shelton Benjamin and Umaga suddenly came out from the crowd, and CM Punk made his way down the ramp, Maria tailing him. Umaga lifted Taka and put him in a Samoan drop, while Shelton saw that he got up and delivered him the T-Bone powerslam suplex. However, Punk got in the ring and decided that that wasn't enough, so he had the followers of McMahonism pick up Taka and throw him back first to Punk. After they did so, Punk got him in pumphandle position, lifted him over his shoulder, then turned it into a belly-to-belly piledriver, sending the crowd into an electric jeering session. He then climbed up the top rope, told Umaga and Shelton to get Matt Hardy, which they did. They brought Hardy to him seated on the second rope, after which Punk completed the positioning and then fell from grace with a Pepsi Plunge to Matt! Once this happened, the Corporate Ministry theme started going on again, and Shane, Edge, and Lita came back in the ring. As Maria and Lita talked behind them, Shane, Punk, Edge, Umaga, and Benjamin all had their arms raised in victory, to which the fans booed to their hearts' content. The show ended with handshakes, smiles, and hugs being shared all around the currently infamous heel community and the religious stable that is the House of McMahonism.

a/n: Well, as I explained earlier, it seems I've once again been distracted into other fanfiction projects. However, now I'm starting to get lost as far as the anime story. I mean, I like where I'm going with it, but unfortunately, I just can't seem to get myself to start writing chapter 23. I don't know what it is, I guess it's doing the fight that scares me or something, but my interest is starting to tweak back towards this piece right here. Which is a good thing for all the peeps who've been missing my work on this end.

So, for now, I'm back in the house. Peace, peeps!

-P. Dizzle.


	9. The Brink of Opposite Awesomeness

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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a/n: What can I say? I'm feeling the heat right now. And I am loving how I'm gonna make this chapter turn out. By the way, I've just discovered that "insurgent" means "rebel", so I've got to change the word around. In fact, "insurgent" has been changed to "apostle", so as to keep Mr. McMahon within his "holy image".

EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk, so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts.

Oh, and as previously stated in earlier chapters, the "apostle" edit is outdated. It sounds too similar to "disciple", so to distinguish Foley and James further they are now known as "elders".

**Chapter 9: The Brink of Opposite Awesomeness**

Date & Show: August 21, 2006 WWE Monday Night Raw

It was a big fight feel tonight on Monday Night Raw, and it was very justified indeed. Seeing as how Raw had a severe lacking of HBK, HHH, and John Cena last week, and some big circumstances were floating around about the possible return of an old friend of Edge's, and we were only one week away from SummerSlam still having yet to decide a WWE Championship match, this was going to be a pretty unpredictable night in the WWE. So, to begin our festivities, we heard the sound of a car crash, which was quickly followed up by the music of the male elder of McMahonism, "the Hardcore Legend" Mick Foley. Foley came out in his non-corporate Mankind suit (with the exception of the mask) alongside a somber-looking Mickie James, and the two of them were flanked by Edge, Lita, and a gigantic packet of boos from the crowd. Once down the ramp, Foley rolled into the ring and walked around the ring waving to the crowd, James used the steps and the ropes to get into the ring, and Edge and Lita followed suit, none of the three posing at all. Foley took a microphone as his music stopped, the fans giving him mixed reactions, and he finally began to speak.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, I would say welcome to Monday Night Raw for the umpteenth time, but I believe you all know what this show is," Mick began. "Rather, I'd like to make a point about a certain little something called SummerSlam. The biggest party of the summer is brought to you the WWE fans, courtesy of the House of McMahonism (insert boos) and World Wrestling Entertainment, from the TD Bankworth Garden in Boston, Massaschusetts. But to tell you the truth, actually, I'm not the guy making the point. Vince McMahon is. (insert boos) But before you guys get all judgmental and start booing all over the place, please hear me out. I'm about to talk about something very important right about now. And that something, my fans, is church. (insert minimal boos) See, last week after Raw, Vince McMahon made a deal with a Christian church in this town, for a sermon of McMahonism to be held in a more holy place than this wrestling ring. (insert minimal boos) And we all, the House of McMahonism, were right behind Vince McMahon as we held a little church session for the few in this town to enjoy who had the wisdom and the nerve to convert to McMahonism. (insert boos) Let's take a look at the footage from the Titantron, shall we?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a minute!" Edge surprisingly cut in with a microphone, actually getting a few cheers from the crowd. "That's not the way we do it around these parts! (insert cheers) Now, my old buddy Christian Cage, if I understand it, is supposed to arrive at the arena and make a return to WWE television tonight. But not to be upstaged, I, Edge, the Artist of Awesomeness himself, am gonna be the first man to bring back a little Edge & Christian nostalgia. So, gods of the Titantron, roll the footage!" And the fans actually cheered on the Rated R Superstar, despite exactly what footage was going to be rolled.

_The footage that rolled, which was displaying material from earlier today, showed the outside of a Baptist church building. The view quickly went back inside the main worship zone, and the rows of seats were only about half filled, as Mr. McMahon himself stood at the podium, actually dressed in a white clerical robe, with his son Shane beside him, and all of the Missionaries seated on a higher platform behind them. Each of the Missionaries had a microphone in hand, while Vince's mic was set on the podium._

"_Now, ladies and gentlemen, I believe we have important business to attend to, in the form of the first ever in-church sermon of McMahonism. I want to announce to each and every one of you, that I am proud to stand here before you, the ultimate creator of the sports entertainment industry as we see it. And, in case you are all asking why a Baptist church would actually allow a McMahonism session to be done here, let's just say that the similarities between Christianity and McMahonism were enough to form a small bit of a common bond, and - put this on your tabloids as wise words of Lord McMahon - when one chooses just the right time to be gracious about their money, it does good for the soul," Vince McMahon spoke, beginning his own sermon. "Before you all begin to get bored with us, let me inform you, that we are not going to be holding a big fifty minute sermon giving you all spiritual advice and throwing tons of examples out there monotonously and bore you all to death, with the occasional energetic reverend to make things interesting, as if you're supposed to receive and practice it just from that one moment in time. No, we're not going to do that. Rather, I'm here to grant a little spiritual advice, and to announce to you all what is happening in the lives of my omnipotent self, my son Shane, and our friends behind us, the House of McMahonism, containing disciples, followers, and elders who believe in me, the one man whose power transcends that of the man upstairs in the industry of sports entertainment…"_

"…_quite frankly, I am here to announce to my church first a few matches which may - no, will - be booked for and occur either tonight on Monday Night Raw, this Sunday at SummerSlam, or some other time aroun that time frame," the lordly chairman continued. "Allow me to commence with the most biting issue of all. SummerSlam is a mere 136 hours away, and we still have yet to book a match for a title whose current champion I simply cannot allow to remain champion at the end of the pay-per-view, the WWE Heavyweight Championship currently held by that heathen leader of D-Generation X, Triple H. Tonight, my church, a tag team match shall take place, between my male disciples, CM Punk and Edge, against the two original rebel frontrunners of DX, "the Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels and said WWE Champion Triple H. The stipulation basically boards as this: Edge only gets a championship match at SummerSlam against Triple H if he and CM Punk can pull off the victory. If they do not, then I will have no choice but to give the title shot against the Game to the Big Red Machine known to the wrestling world as Kane."_

"_Excuse me, Lord McMahon?" Edge began to ask from his seat at the higher platform behind the boss. "Why do I have to go through this tag team match in order to get the title shot?"_

"_Edge, I believe in two things. One being that you and CM Punk are the best tag team in this industry today, thanks to the power invested in thee by your status as the disciples of McMahonism, and that you are easily capable of completely mounting Shawn Michaels and Triple H tonight on Raw. Two being that as the lord, master, and god of this business, I am not only a powerful god, but a gracious god as well," Vince replied kindly. "And I don't want to lead my people to believe that I only give extra chances of any kind to my disciples or that your status as a member of the House has granted you a silver spoon in your mouth. However, because I fear that he may take advantage of my generosity, I will give Kane the night off. And if he comes out and even stands at the stage for one second tonight, or makes any contact with any member of the House, the match will automatically be given to Edge and CM Punk. (Vince's churchgoers say "amen") Also, the vandals who got rid of our benevolent and holy friends the Spirit Squad, are all going to pay, and are all going to pay dearly, thanks to the ones classed as followers of McMahonism. Next week, on the night after SummerSlam, Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku of the Chain Gang must defend their World Tag Team Championships against Umaga and Shelton Benjamin, the two men who originally converted to McMahonism on the first night in which I made it public. Meanwhile, Stacy Keibler, the woman who played valet for the men when they became the new World Tag Team Champions last week, will not be allowed at ringside, and will take on Candice Michelle and Mickie James in a handicap match tonight, in which - to be fair - Candice will be the legal woman throughout the entire match…"_

"…_to be a man of opportunity, I shall grant Smackdown its distinction as the land of opportunity, as well as hand a fair shake to Paul Heyman's Extreme Championship Wrestling alternative brand of WWE, by presenting a diva from Smackdown or ECW with the opportunity to become a Women's Champion. See, at SummerSlam, there's going to be the first ever "miniskirt match", in which all the Smackdown and ECW divas will compete. You will see ECW's Kelly Kelly, Ariel, Beulah McGillicutty, and Francine, along with Smackdown's Ashley Massaro, Kristal Marshall, Michelle McCool, Jillian Hall, Melina, (who is still on Smackdown in this story) and even the beautiful wife of my former associate King Booker, Miss **Royal** Black America herself, Queen Sharmell, coming out dressed in elegant yet revealing outfits which will include miniskirts similar to those of my female elder Mickie James.The way to eliminate your opponent is to strip away her identity card to being in the match, which is, of course, the miniskirt. The last woman left in a miniskirt will come to Raw for one night only to take on Mickie James for her Women's Championship, and if the cross-brand challenger wins the championship, she will actually claim the right to bring it to her brand until Mickie's rematch at Survivor Series!…"_

"…_before I forget, there's a very important tag team match for SummerSlam. The tag team encounter for Stacy Keibler and Christian Cage. If he does indeed show up tonight on Raw, and then at SummerSlam, Christian will team with Stacy to take on the Samoan Bulldozer himself, Umaga, and Women's Champion Mickie James! And if Christian and Stacy lose the match, which will happen when Mickie pins Stacy 1, 2, 3, right in the middle of that ring, not only will the Unforgiven title opportunity be squashed, and not only will Christian's entire return be scratched and wiped clean, erased from the history books, but Stacy Keibler's no-longer-required-anyway services with the WWE will be over, as she will be fired! Also, with the exception of himself to take on CM Punk, John Cena may only have one more Chain Gang Soldiers in the arena. And that one, is his cousin, his rapping partner in crime, "tha Trademarc" Marc Predka, who gets to watch from ringside as John Cena helplessly looks at the incredible woman he wishes was his girlfriend, only for the man whose girlfriend she is to completely kick his ass, pin him, make him tap out, just plain kick him out of the WWE! Thank you very much, this has been the word of Vincent Kennedy McMahon, and may each and every one of you have a nice day!"_

_And the people that attended actually bothered to clap, cheer, and shout praises that are censored out from the show and will not be written here due to fear of flames over pointlessness._

"Now, in case you people didn't notice, there was an absolutely awesome and revealing session from Vincent Kennedy McMahon, don't you guys agree?" Edge asked, leading to the boos of the world all over again. "But look, there's a bright side to all this. You all know the truth about SummerSlam now. Wouldn't you agree that every single decision Vince made here reeks completely of awesomeness? (insert boos) Oh, come on! I'm breaking out the lines! I'm letting you people remember the awesome days of Edge & Christian, just by speaking my mind as I remember, just by being me, and you people are still booing the hell out of this Rated R? No wonder I didn't care about you chumpstains most of before, and no wonder I don't care now! (insert loud boos) You stink! Each and every one of you! (loud boos contrinue) But onto a much more pleasing subject for me to talk about. Being that I am Edge, and that Christian is coming most likely to face me soon, and that I have forged a bit of an alliance with CM Punk within our ranks, I've decided to do something for CM Punk as a bit of a token to our partnership, to our friendship, to our unity and, dare I say it, brotherhood in McMahonism. (insert boos) This is also a message to Christian that I've got a new best friend now. (insert minimal boos) But first of all, ladies and gentlemen, may I please introduce you to the girlfriend of CM Punk, the most beautiful young lady on the Raw roster with the exception of my lovely lady right beside me, the woman who's got John Cena's heart twisting in spider webs and running through trenches all sweaty and smelly like Rikishi's ass because he's just completely unable to get over the fact that she's with CM Punk, the Bodacious Brunette, Maria!"

The cheers finally started to pile in as "With Legs Like That" by Zebrahead came on, and out came Maria in a sparkling and beautiful blue dress, with a microphone in hand. She received a positive reaction as she did the "blowing kisses" motion at the stage, proving that she was indeed the reason that Edge was cheered during what was apparently the last part of his promo.

"Now, tonight, I'm here to introduce to you, using - for one time only - a special gift from Edge. It's um, Christian's… I'm sorry, Edge, I don't think the fans are gonna like this very much. I don't know if I should say this," Maria stopped to say.

"Never mind that, Maria. As soon as you get done saying it, CM'll be here to comfort you in case these idiots boo you," Lita assured her, using Edge's mic. Hearing Lita get booed, Maria tentatively nodded.

"I don't think that all the stars and studa in this crowd are idiots, but thanks. Anyway, using Christian's first entrance music theme in WWE, "Blood Brother", from 1998 before the Brood, (insert boos) from Chicago, Illinois, my boyfriend, "Straight Edge 24/7" CM Punk!" Maria shouted, introducing him. As she just said, Christian's "Blood Brother" theme came on with CM Punk's videoclip on the Titantron just the same as if he were using "This Fire Burns", evoking even more disapproval fom the crowd for this straight mockery of Christian. Punk came out in his white Straight Edge 24/7 jersey and blue pants, and like Lita promised, comforted Maria by putting his arms around her waist and kissing her on the cheek, after which they linked arms walking down the ramp. When they got ringside, Punk slid into the ring, and Maria walked on the steel steps and went through the ropes, Punk holding the second rope down for her. He then got on the turnbuckle, did the X thing with his forearms in front of his chest, and shouted at the fans who booed him, before the music died down and he finally got a microphone.

However, he was rendered unable to speak, by the words "Are you ready?", which were (to be taken as) the keycard to the music theme of D-Generation X. Once the song's intro phase was over and the real music began, Shawn Michaels came out skipping, and Triple H, Rob Van Dam, and Trish Stratus appeared from behind the curtain as well, sending the people into a frenzy of cheers… and frowns onto the six McMahonists in the ring. All four of the Degenerates wore the original D-Generation X shirts and had jeans on them, but all in different colors. WWE Heavyweight Champion Triple H had John Cena's spinner championship belt, except it was green, and instead of a spinning WWE logo, it was a spinning "SUCK IT DX" logo like the ones on the DX jersey from the McMahon-Helmsley Faction. All the DX members had microphones.

"Now, we have yet to tell each and every one of you to suck it, but that's because we've got more important messages to address and to mock you about tonight," Shawn Michaels began the DX promo, earning many cheers for his efforts.

"No, you're not going to mock us, DX! There's absolutely no time for you to do anything like that!" Mick Foley quickly shot.

"What are you gonna do, Mick? Sic Kane on us again? Last I recall, I believe he said on Unlimited the week after the first time ya jumepd us that he didn't get what was originally promised to him, and didn't want a thing to do with any of you," Triple H recalled, earning the cheers of the world all of a sudden. "But look, let us talk, okay, you big fat hairy career prostitute? Okay? Last I recall, the only reason Vince McMahon ever gave you title shots was because you showed initiative. That's respectable. You showed initiative… by entertaining him in his hospital bed with a damn sock puppet and dressing yourself in the mask that a) makes you look like a completely psychotic bastard, and b) happens to be the only thing missing from that ridiculous suit of yours that you should've just kept retired, just like yourself. Or maybe you completely forgot that I retired your ass at No Way Out and WrestleMania 2000?"

"Actually, Hunter, I think he's like one of those annoying flies on a bad day that, no matter what you do to or about them, they just won't go away," Rob Van Dam cut in, rhyming as he spoke.

"Are you trying to throw out a couple of rhymes? Cause if so, you apparently see my formula. You see, Rob, I broke out with some rhymes during my interview last week, then I went out and kicked your ass. You're trying to throw a small rhyme out there tonight, but you don't even have a match," Edge boasted, himself and laughing at RVD as the fans berated him with jeers.

"Dude, you seem to be confusing coincidence with copycatting. But that's something you just don't do. It could be the end of you someday," Rob explained. "Just like stealing somebody's girlfriend, screwing their career, turning said girlfriend into your little whore, as we will prove with a video montage we prepared for you guys tonight that I think you're gonna find very interesting."

"Really. I think you'll find this very informative. It will tell us all we need to know about the road of Lita's career, which is truly a road less traveled. So, without further ado, as told by your friends from D-Generation X, the single greatest force in the universe, is the wrestling life of one Amy Dumas," Trish Stratus annoumced, motioning towards the titantron in a presenting motion.

"You know, you've got a lot of nerve trying to novelize my career and make it into your own little side show there, Trish! You have no respect for me, and nor do your little partners! When we're done with you guys, the term DX will no longer stand for D-Generation X! Instead, it'll sound for Degenerates Xtinct!" Lita threatened, the "slut!" chants coming in.

"You guys in the truck, just roll the footage, please. I promise you this is gonna be entertaining. Trust me." Trips exclaimed, as if he even needed to make that promise.

_The Titantron read the words, "The Wrestling Life of Amy Dumas: Uprise and Downfall."_

_Clips of Lita in her natural brown hair color as Angelica in Extreme Championship Wrestling were shown as the official intro song of ECW came on._

_Shawn Michaels: "After being impressed and inspired by the performances of wrestlers such as Rey Mysterio, Amy Dumas decided to get into wrestling. With a little training training in the arts of lucha libre, as well as being a part of the Hardy Boyz' OMEGA promotion and Terry Funk's dojo, all of which she would go on to prove was her only hope for really taking a stand as a woman in this business, Amy began her career in the late 1990s as Angelica in Extreme Championship Wrestling. She quickly linked up with Danny Doring, and impressed the fans with her high flying, risk taking, faithful assistance to Doring and his partner Roadkill, as well as her accentuated good looks."_

_Clips of Lita, finally a redhead, with then-WWE Superstar Essa Rios, starting with them doing their usual taunt at the stage, were shown as Essa Rios's music theme came on._

_Triple H: "Now, after coming here to WWE, she finally became Lita, complete with a new red-haired look, alongside a natural redhead, the Mexican sensation Essa Rios. Now, he was an amazing talent, and he actually became the Light Heavyweight Champion the first night he used that name. Essa and Lita ended up feuding against a couple of old friends of mine: the late great Eddie Guerrero, and my ex-girlfriend Chyna. Now, Chyna and I had gone through a rough breakup, so I was rooting for Lita and Essa, but if I understand correctly, all that either of them wore was **his** favorite color, red. That, her new red hair, and the fact that every time he beat someone, she would repeat his moves on the loser, not only showed that she can be spicy and athletic, but it was her first sign of becoming fake. Unfortunately, this began her turbulent love life, as she ended up betrayed by Essa Rios after accidentally costing him a match on Smackdown against… well, whaddya know? Her old friend. Matt Hardy."_

_Clips of Lita alongside the Hardy Boyz as Team Xtreme, starting with when they saved her from Rios, were shown as the Hardy Boyz' music came on._

_Trish Stratus: "Well, the Hardy Boyz saved her from Rios, and they carried her out of the ring, so it was only a matter of time before she joined them in Team Xtreme, otherwise known as the 3 Xtreme, and started to take her relationship with Matt Hardy public. As this happened, she went on to accompany the Hardyz and vice versa in feuds against me, Edge & Christian, basically all the tag teams and all the Divas in the WWE at the time, and the group that Edge and Christian called the McMahon-Helmsley "Facgime". They got a few tag team titles along the way, and Lita beat Triple H's wife, Vince's daughter Stephanie for the Women's Championship. She was also the most extreme during that time, which can also be said for the Hardyz. Everyone loved and respected them for being their usual death defying selves. The trio started to experience some friction around Alliance time when Matt Hardy, proving how weak Lita is as a lover, actually paid attention to when Stacy Keibler showed him her ass to distract him for the Dudleyz, and was starting to get a little cocky in regards to Jeff. They didn't listen to him, so he ended his allegiances to the both of them, but after all getting taken out by the Undertaker, they reunited in early 2002. They even stayed on the same brand when the brand extension came around. The Hardyz and Lita were living a dream."_

_Clips of Lita's Dark Angel shoot, hospitalization and all that, and what happened with the Hardyz' careers and hers before her return in late 2003, as her original music theme, "It Just Feels Right", came on._

_Rob Van Dam: "After an unfortunate accident that was basically Lita's fault for expecting a regular actor to be skilled enough in wrestling to know how to take a hurracanrana, she ended up breaking her neck, which got the show cancelled and took over a year from her wrestling career. During that year, Matt and Jeff broke up, Matt went to Smackdown and started Mattitude, and Jeff evolved his Xtreme into Imagi-nation. Both had moderate success, including Matt teaming with John Cena to defeat Edge for what would be the first of a 2-0 record, and had a few hostile meetings at cross-brand pay-per-views, but Jeff ended up quitting and going to TNA. Soon, Lita worked alongside that loser pansy Coach commentating on Heat, and even got fired before coming back in late 2003. She even said that the power of Mattitude never ceases to amaze her once. That showed some solidarity, but as would be later proven, not nearly enough."_

_Clips of Lita's return, Matt Hardy's coming to Raw, and what happened in their careers between then and Backlash 2004, were shown as Matt Hardy's music came on._

_Triple H: "Matt Hardy and Lita became a tragic relationship story once again, when he came back to Raw shortly after she did. She thought he was going to propose to her when Eric Bischoff cut it off and made an intergender tag team match with her job on the line. Matt, unfortunately, bailed on her and let her get fired, explaining that he was really going to ask her why was she so selfish, and he was going to break off his relationship with her. That was a decision he should've stuck to, as we'll explain later. Lita ended up getting involved in Chris Jericho and Christian's Canadian dollar bet, which in the end was Trish and Christian's incentive for that practical joke they played on Jericho. Lita actually showed the guts to move on, then ended up being stalked by Kane. Now, here's why I say Matt should've stuck to cutting her loose. As soon as he re-entered her life during this whole Kane crap, he ended up getting destroyed time after time and again."_

_Clips of the Matt-Lita-Kane triangle, the Kane-Lita wedding, and what happened during their unholy marriage, were shown as Kane's first music theme came on._

_Shawn Michaels: "Matt Hardy was foolishly standing up for Lita, who is the reason I say that it's foolish, and he ended up losing her twice. The first time was the minute she was scared and stupid enough to agree to have sex with him just so Matt Hardy didn't get destroyed which resulted in her pregnancy to a big red baby, and the second time was the minute she got overconfident and booked a "til death do us part" match between Matt Hardy and Kane at SummerSlam two years ago. Try as they might, Hardy and Lita could not stave off Kane, who injured Hardy in the middle of beating him, which made it easier to take him out the night of Kane and Lita's wedding. They were in hellish matrimony, and Matt was rendered unable to stop it. After an unfortunate accident caused by Gene Snitsky, the baby boy was killed, and Lita and Kane suddenly came together. However, as Kane and Matt Hardy would realize, it was all a ruse."_

_Clips of Edge and Lita, starting with Edge and Lita's first kiss on Raw and clearly showing Lita's limited role, were shown as a teen show style entrance theme that Edge & Christian once used came on._

_Trish Stratus: "Yeah, this is where she proves to be a slut. The rumors coming around of Edge and Lita's affair turned out to be the truth, as they clearly proved when they backstabbed Kane during the Gold Rush tournament, and revealed that Lita was manipulating the whole Kane situation from the minute Snitsky came out. They allied with Gene Snitsky against Kane and, later on, the equally devastated and vengeful Matt Hardy. Both rivalries ended up in Edge's success, and while Edge main events, Lita barely wrestles right now. Lita used to be an extreme young lady who earned everyone's respect and adulation, and now she is nothing more than the Rated R Superstar's Rated X Redhead, Edge's Sinful Sexpot. And that's it. That's how far Lita's come and gone. The end."_

And so, we returned to normal, and some of the fans cheered, as they were entertained by the humorous notes that were placed in the midst of this

"All you just did, Trish, is take a video montage of different stages of my career and make slanderous jokes about it. You get more detail from the Wikipedia about my career than this," Lita commented, talking and acting as if she was just unimpressed.

"Hey, our jokes were based on the truth," Triple H pointed out. "So you've gotta give us that much. We weren't doing this to vandalize you, Lita, we were just making a point. What's wrong with you?"

"No, you weren't," Edge disagreed. "Those jokes were based on your own biased interpretations of the truth. You blasted Lita during each and every one of those little stories!"

"Because that's the truth! I mean, come on! She started being fake when she went with Essa Rios! And now she's faker than ever now that she's with you!" Shawn Michaels shot in equal disagreement.

"Are you done? Because I'm not impressed by any of this crap," Mick Foley interjected.

"You may not be impresed by that. But let's segue into another segment here. Changing this from a DX comedy session to a mission statement dealing with four of you guys, is none other than John Cena!" Rob Vam Dam exclaimed, raising his arm up high with the microphone in hand.

"My Time Is Now" blared on the screens, telling us that a) Cena was coming out, and that b) he's gone back to using that song. After the eight introductory heartbeats of the song finished, Cena came out, jumping with energy, running all the way to the edge of the stage and exclaiming and shouting, as was his style. As he was probably hinting at them to, the fans turned up the intensity of their cheers almost as soon as he came out here. Now, there were still a few smarks here and there that felt like booing the hell out of him, but they were barely noticed. Cena slapped high fives with all the members of DX, then stopped at the center of the stage, in front of all the Degenerates.

"Hey, hey, hey, hold on a minute, Edge! You and Foley sound like y'all just came out the crapper with the way you're complainin'!" Cena jested immediately, earning cheers once more. "But look here, man. It's about time you faced the facts."

"No, Cena, it's about time you faced the facts!" CM Punk shouted on a mic all of a sudden, sharply changing the fans' mood at that very moment. "It's about time you faced the facts, Cena. Maria doesn't like you! She loves me! And I love her back, so there's no way you're taking her away from me!"

"Get over yourself, Punk!" Cena shouted in response, bringing us back to cheery town. "Could you figure this out for once!? This whole thing isn't about you! None of it's about you! Me bein' in love wit' your girl? That has nothin' to do with you! I know my boundaries and my roads to take, and I take 'em like a soldier! Even if Edge was her boyfriend, I wouldn't steal her from him! And speakin' o' which, the man who steals people's girlfriends is not me, it's Edge! The same guy that just stole Christian's first entrance song and just called it a gift! That had nothin' to do with you! He's just tryin' to upstage Christian! And this whole McMahonism thing, startin' with Vince and Shane comin' to ya about me? That had nothin' to do with you either! This was all to try to break me down, and to build Vince up as the god of this business, which he most certainly is not! You hate me over crap that has nothin' to do with you! Get over it!"

"Get over it!? Let me ask you a question. Who is it that's got the crush on somebody else's girlfriend right now?" Punk asked. "You talk and act like you're supposed to be some honorable soldier, but you're human like everyone else. What's to say you won't end up getting obsessed and driven to steal her from me in the future?"

"A'ight, CM. Fine. I ain't perfect. I coulda made that mistake, you're right," Cena admitted after a short pause. "But if I did, I'd probably be in a major guilt trip until I confronted you to your face, made my confession, and took my ass whuppin' like a man. Whereas _Edge_… well, by now DX has shown us, and even wit'out that, we all know Edge."

"Yeah, it's true. We all know that Edge is awesome. We all know that he is the single best WWE Superstar to date, and we all know that that green belt around Triple H's waist will not last long," Lita stated boastfully to a negative crowd response.

"And we all know you got gonorrhea, so shut up," Cena retorted immediately to a positive crowd response. "Now, here's the idea. I got a lil' rap for you guys, that you just might enjoy. It's called my mission statement. The beat I'm usin' happens to be my old theme, "Basic Thuganomics", the one I did wit' my boy 7L. Boys in the truck, hit it so I could bust that right now!"

Then, the very song hit, and after its introduction and first chorus, he was ready to rhyme.

"This is my mission statement: I'm lookin' in this ring, and I see sum'n in it that's just a bad thing. I don't know what it is, but I know there's sum'n wrong, even more'n Edge gropin' Lita when she's in just a thong. (insert "ohhh"s) They're just a bad couple, there's no gettin' around it, but I ain't got time to talk about Edge 'fore he gets pounded. Cause it ain't Foley and James, but I see two, people that ain't s'posed to be standin' there wit' Bee & Boo. See, I'm talkin' 'bout you, Punk, and I'm talkin' 'bout Ria, my favorite person, but she's your girl, and you won't let me see her. Instead of hangin' wit' me, you'd rather you and she be around Vince, cause you heard that I love her and you've been jealous since. Ya keep tryin' to screw me out, and I'm supposed to hate you, but I don't, cause to your problem I can relate. Your peeps there, Edge and Lita, they're why Matt's alone. They screwed his ass so bad through the wire he couldn't even stay grown. Damn, what the hell's up? Can't you manage it better? Edge & Lita? McMahonism? You managed it wetter! But if we gotta be enemies so I could beat my point to your face, then maybe it's gonna end in a case of disgrace, but I don't care! Punk, you placed Ria in bull that's completely irrelevant to any three of our skulls! You better get the picture and teach it to your little friends, the real chumpstains, cause I will fight until the end, to ensure that McMahonism dies because the only god Vince McMahon could ever be is the god of lies. Vinny don't know entertainment, he only knows his self. He had a reason for how he ripped my feelin's off the shelf. And as long as you continue to be his cornerstone and continue to be a jackass overtone, then it's workin'. He's playin' us all. He needs a stable to kiss his ass, and a stable to fall. But me, I continue to fight, because I embrace my heart and I feel I'm doin' what's right. Eddie told me himself. You may remember him. If he's lookin' down at you, he might be lookin' grim. And that's the truth. This is comin' from my heart of hearts, so no matter what your counter is, you can't rip me apart. But that's only a sample of why my Chain Gang Assault Batallion is standin' tall in this fight like Italian stallions. And with the D-Generation X Rebel Army behind us, this is my mission statement: vindication is mine! Maria, make sure you teach your man and teach him for me, that this McMahonism business is not the way to be G, not the way to be top dog, not the way to be true. And send this message to Lord Vincent Kennedy, too: understand that you have officially pissed off the wrong fire-breathin' son of a bitch! And I'm gon' put it all out in this ring, never be soft, cause I'm an Energizered soldier on tha kill to da switch! Word life!"

As soon as he finished and launched the microphone forward all the way to the ringside area, the music switched from Cena's old theme to Cena's current theme, and Cena stomped off to the back with a rage evident in his walk. With the most furious freestyle rap in his career, Cena just brought the crowd's noise level up to a near-unimagineable level. While the McMahonists looked on a little stunned at the fury of John Cena, DX was taking advantage and signaling that they were about to use the crotch chop. RVD got out of position and said some words to Shawn Michaels, but Shawn's reply calmed him down, and he went right back to position, after which they did the chops and broke out the X fireworks at the stage. The music then changed to the DX theme as the Degenerates all walked to the back.

About five minutes later, the all-fired-up Cena was stopped by Todd Grisham at the interview area.

"Excuse me, but John. Can you give us your thoughts on what just happened out there?" Todd asked, holding up his microphone to John right after the fact.

"What just happened out there is I just blasted the truth. But if you want more thoughts, more comments, then fine. I'll tell you exactly what's up, straight from the beginning," Cena decided. "See, it all goes like this. I've had somethin' for Maria for the longest time. Ever since I came to Raw, really. It just clicked. But then came the day, a couple months into my next and last beef with Kurt Angle, when she told me about her boyfriend, CM Punk. Now, I had a bit of trouble. I was keepin' it inside that I was pissed off at this new information that just came on, which is that just days before I finally make my move on her, she ups and tells me she's got a boyfriend, I actually thought the guy was pretty cool. Now, I met him. Twice. First, when he got signed on and came to OVW, and he paid Ria a visit. Next, when he came to WrestleMania 22, and I let him be one of the Chicago Mafia regulators that came out wit' me durin' my entrance. I thought to myself: I'm close friends with the girl I'm in love with, her man's a pretty cool dude, me and him get along pretty well, it's all good. I can't be wit' her, but this is definitely the next best thing. It only got better when she became my manager around post-ECW time. But unfortunately, somebody had to have that little hunch about my crush on Maria. And it wasn't Ria, or CM Punk. And it wasn't that jackoff Edge. So I got nothin' to worry about, right? Wrong. Because, as I overlooked, it was the last people you want to suspect that you got a crush on someone else's girl. Vince and Shane McMahon. The rest is history. They crammed it in Punk's head, makin' him scared that I was gon' take her from him. And then, the hell started. He carried her into McMahonism to get her away from me. He started beef with me. He became the centerpiece behind McMahonism. He is now allied with Edge, Lita, Mick Foley, Mickie James, Candice, Shelton Benjamin, Umaga, and, as we all know, Vince and Shane McMahon. What's even worse is, me and my Chain Gang: we know that's what Vince McMahon intended all along. Vince McMahon's got CM Punk groomed to take McMahonism to new heights, and it ain't even because of his skill. It's because he's got the key to my heart and soul. Well, no more! I ain't lettin' my heart's desire make me weak. I'm makin' it make me strong. Punk needs to learn his spot, and he needs to learn that McMahonism is not the spot! Not for him, not for Maria! Therefore, I'm gonna beat his ass, I'm gonna beat Edge's ass, I'm gonna beat everybody's ass I have to in order to finally get CM Punk to take himself and Maria out from that fake ass cult so that with my Chain Gang's help, they can destroy it, and finally restore order to this damn chaos pit that Raw has become thanks to McMahonism! I know I may sound like a superhero right now, but I don't give a damn. This ain't the way it's supposed to be. This ain't Raw. This is personal jail. And it's time I did sum'n about it. Now, Todd, you can go ahead and send this message directly to Vince McMahon, in the exact words I said it before: _understand that you have officially pissed off the wrong fire-breathing son of a bitch!_"

With that and a salute, Cena continued storming off towards the Chain Gang locker room.

Around 25 minutes later, "Legs" shot on, and Stacy Keibler came out to her usual entrance music, dressed in her black Super Stacy get-up, and ready to wrestle, much to the fans' adulation. She did a beautiful spin at the stage, then walked on down the ramp, during which she took off the mask and threw it into the crowd. She then got on the apron and crossed the ropes in typical longlegs fashion, giving the people a reason to cheer. Then, the entrance music of Candice Michelle came on, leaving part of the crowd cheering, part of the crowd booing, and half of the crowd completely irresponsive. The somber-mooded Mickie trailing her with no jumpiness or special antics, Candice went to her usual spot, then got on the apron and "sexily" removed her entrance jacket and handed her wand to Mickie, before coming into the ring and doing her GoDaddy dance. Mickie came on the apron, and the match was ready to begin.

After Candice did her GoDaddy dance once more, Stacy blew it off, acting unimpressed the minute Candice was turned her way so as to piss her off. The naturally offended Candice came over to Stacy, verbally abused her, and slapped her right in the face. However, Stacy simply came back with another slap, one of much harder and much more hurtful physical degree, which actually knocked Candice down. Candice took a while getting up, after which Stacy irishwhipped her and greeted her return with a back body drop. Stacy then covered Candice. 1, 2, and Candice kicked out. Mickie James suddenly came into the ring, distracting the referee and allowing Candice to give Stacy a thumb to the eye after Keibler picked her up. Keibler reeling, Candice ran off the ropes and came back with a clothesline, then came down on Stacy for the cover, getting a two count. Candice then placed the Empress of Legs in the corner and maneuvered on the ropes to lock on her Candylicious hanging figure four leg choke, after which the referee made his disqualification count and Candice let go on five. Candice then picked up Stacy and came towards Mickie James, expecting a tag, until Mickie reminded her about that stipulation that Mr. McMahon had put in the match that only Candice could be the legal girl on her side. However, Candice still picked up Stacy and put her in the bad corner, pressing her forearms into Stacy's face for a few seconds before the referee made his DQ count. After she let go, Candice held a discussion with the referee, allowing Mickie to choke Stacy with a sleeper hold assisted by the ropes being behind Keibler's neck. After Candice stopped talking to the ref and Mickie let go, Candice came on for another cover which resulted in another two count.

Candice then picked up Stacy, as Mickie stuck out her leg so that her boot was over the turnbuckle, and ran Stacy's head right into that boot, before delivering her an arm drag takedown, then locking in an armbar. However, Candice soon tired of giving out that submission and instead turned Stacy around in order to put her in a camel clutch. The referee looming over watching, Stacy knew she was in a bit of a tight spot, as she could feel the pain of her neck bent over backwards in the hold. The crowd started to get behind Stacy a little bit with chants of "We want legs!", and soon after this, Stacy used her legs by sharply bending the part of each leg that went below the knee so that the heels of her boots hit Candice Michelle's back. It was sharp enough for Candice to let go the first time. Once that finished, Candice and Stacy both got up, but then Candice stomped on Stacy's boot. She then irishwhipped her, and tried to meet her return with a clothesline, but Stacy ducked it, and then came back with a clothesline of her own on Candice, taking the momentum away. Candice got up, and received another clothesline. This repeated itself one more time before Stacy went with an inverted atomic drop, then came off the ropes and hit Candice with a swinging neck breaker. Stacy made the cover, but Mickie James came into the ring to break it up. She immediately went back into her corner, but not about to let her get away with it was Stacy, who came to her feet immediately and pie-faced Mickie James out of the ring. However, that proved to be Candice's opportunity, as the GoDaddy Woman got up quickly with a forearm shot to the back of Stacy, trapping her in the corner, where she took her down in a school boy cover using the ropes for leverage. It ended in a three count and Candice victory, as expected.

"Here are your winners, the WWE Women's Champion Mickie James and Candice Michelle!"

And as her music came back on, Candice began to celebrate, flicking her hair to and fro so as to look sexy, until she noticed Stacy complaining and shoved her down. Mickie then came into the ring and looked intently at Stacy. Seeing Stacy get to her feet, the Definition of Detemination kicked Stacy in the midsection took her in a headlock and screamed out, before jumping high in the air to nail the MickieDT on Stacy Keibler. However, right at that instant, Victoria came to the ring, and Mickie James high tailed it successfully, which Victoria managed to get a pull of Candice's hair and chose to take her down by the hair, then mounted on top of her with a vicious array of fists before Mickie finally pulled Candice out from underneath the Vicious Vixen. Victoria's music came on, much to the adulation of the Chain Gang fanatic soldiers and Widow's Peak Freaks in the audience. Victoria continued to look sharply at Candice and Mickie, screaming that she was gonna get them.

Out of commercial break a few minutes later, we caught sight of interim Raw General Manager "Stone Cold" Steve Austin inside the GM's office, leaning back and watching the show on his big screen TV. He had his cellphone near his right ear.

"So, you worked out the deal? He's comin' tonight? Good. I want to see him come out there and bring them fans off their feet before the end of the night," he was saying to the person on the other line before hearing a knock at the door. After shouting that the door was open, he continued. "Sorry, Eric, but there's somebody at the-"

He froze, after the door opened, for he saw the very person he was speaking to on the phone. Eric Bischoff. Upon seeing the smiling Bischoff, Austin got up and crept closer to Eric, dumbfoundedness all over his face.

"What the hell are you doin'? I thought you were on your way!" Austin demanded.

"I was. On my way directly to the office," Bischoff replied cleverly, before turning off his cellphone and shaking hands with Austin. "Hey, thanks for filling in while I made the deal. You'll be happy to know that Christian Cage is on the premises as we speak, waiting backstage for his opportunity to come out and completely amaze the fans."

"That's pretty damn good news. Hey, can I stick around and help ya out for the night?" Austin offered, before a knock was heard on the door. Both men said to come in, and they were met by Victoria.

"Victoria. What's the matter?" Austin asked.

"What do you need?" Bischoff seconded the question.

"Let me make this simple. I want my match against Candice Michelle. When do I get it?" Victoria demanded sharply, surprising the GMs a slight bit.

"I'll tell you when you can wrestle Candice Michelle. Is that what you want to know?" Bischoff asked her.

"Yes," she answered with solidity.

"You can wrestle Candice Michelle, one on one, next week on WWE Monday Night Raw!" Bischoff announced, to which she smiled greatly and stretched her fingers in and out a little bit, before leaving with a thank you to Austin and Bischoff. The two looked at one another and merely tipped their eyebrows.

Meanwhile, Edge and CM Punk were talking at the parking lot in their wrestling clothes. Their girlfriends were also there, holding a chat of their own in the background.

"Now, you do understand that tonight, we're gonna be awesome. We're gonna completely rule. We will trounce D-Generation X and walk all over them, in the process of proving that you and I are the greatest tag team this company has ever seen. But CM, you know what else this could be?" Edge asked his partner.

"Easy. A message to John Cena. A message that I'm not intimidated by all his yelling and passionate speeches and talk of thuganomics and assault batallions," Punk answered. "And that at SummerSlam, I will be the man to fire him and to finally get this Maria-stealing thorn out of my spine."

"Hey!" a voice shot, interrupting them. The two looked to see that it was Christian Cage, sending the fans watching via the Titantron into a frenzy.

"Whoa, Christian. What the hell makes you think you can come up behind me like that!?" Edge demanded.

"Cut the crap, Edge! I'm starting to get a little sick of all the crap you're pulling out there. You and frat boy over here," Christian stated.

"Watch it, man. You don't want to piss me off," Punk threatened.

"You should both just be ashamed of yourselves," Christian stated, ignoring Punk's threat. "You've both made cowardly mistakes, and both have got you guys all of a sudden joining a fake cult made by the boss just so he can feel superior to everyone else. The Rated R Superstar, the Artist of Awesomeness, along with a guy who's supposed to have straight edge beliefs, is bowing to a man who comes into a hospital and pulls things out of a mannequin of another man's ass, who comes out to the ring with that stupid old man strut, and actually says in the center of the ring, "I am the lord, master, and god of all sports entertainment! And whoever you are, if you have anything to do with this business, you must worship me!" The guy talks and acts like he's greater than God himself, when everyone out there knows he's no God! Yet you bow and kiss his ass rather than face your faults and fears."

"You talk about me like I'm scared to face up to my mistakes, Christian? Well, if I'm scared, you're even more scared!" Edge shot.

"Oh, yeah!? How!?" Christian challenged.

"You don't have the initiative to make an impact in this company. That's why you walked away to that other promotion down south like a coward! Your World Title doesn't mean squat, because you won it in the minor leagues. You didn't stay in the big time to come away with it like me!" Edge responded, putting his trademark cat grin on his face now.

"Yeah, how long did that last? 21 days? Mine lasted 18 weeks, you sorry reekazoid," Christian countered.

"The guy I beat came after me right away. The guy you beat left you alone for most of those 18 weeks!" Edge yelled.

"Yeah, I guess that's your unfortunate habit. First time you win a major title, the guy comes right back at you and you barely even have a reign under your belt. The guy who beat me to get the NWA World Championship after 18 weeks, is the same guy that came back at you and beat you for the Intercontinental Title in one day!" Christian retorted.

"That was years ago, Christian! And I only lost the match because your little stooge of a coach, Gangrel, had to come and screw me!" Edge countered angrily.

"Even he's better than you!" Christian shouted. "At least he didn't let us have girlfriends just for him to screw behind our backs!"

"That was Matt Hardy's fault! He couldn't satisfy Lita, and we prolonged the affair like that because we knew he couldn't handle the truth! And don't you dare call Gangrel better than me! I'll beat the shit out of you if you talk like that again!" Edge threatened violently.

"You know what? I really hope you do become the WWE Champion at SummerSlam. That way, me and Stacy can beat you and Lita, and I'll prove to the world that I am the #1 performer in this business, not you!" Christian shot.

"All you'll prove is that you're a chumpstain who was never meant to win a heavyweight title that actually matters!" Edge retorted, putting on that clever grin again. Christian slapped it off his face and walked away, leaving Punk, Lita, and Maria to tend to an angry Edge, who still managed to make a final statement.

"Yeah, you never let me tell you about how CM Punk and I are gonna prove that Edge & CM Punk can make a greater entrance than Edge & Christian ever did!"

Skipping everything and going to the main event, the D-Generation X music theme came on, and after the first 23 seconds (as usual), Shawn Michaels and Triple H came out for their tag team encounter. The cheered tandem of DX pranced about as usual, until they got to the center of the ramp, where Shawn went down to do the prayer stance thing, unleashing the HBK fireworks on us all, while Triple H stood behind him, drinking and spitting some of that water. Both guys got into the ring in their usual way, including that muscled pose from Shawn at the center of the ring, and Triple H right in front of him finishing the water bottle and spitting it out into the crowd in typical fashion. Trips crossed the ropes, then stood beside Shawn as the two performed "suck it" crotch chops which unleashed X fireworks upon the arena. Then, over the loudspeakers, one could here "Over the Edge", the most popular theme song of Edge and Christian. Immediately, the fans started to cheer, but then Lita and Maria walked out of the smoke, then turned around to present their boyfriends, Edge and CM Punk, who went on opposite sides of the stage to shout something to the fans, who were now booing at the top of their lungs. Each man kissed his girlfriend once he got to her, and the girls just trailed their men as Edge and Punk walked down the ramp, but stopped when Punk used the steps and ropes to get in, and Edge slid in. Punk went on the turnbuckle and did the straight edge X thing with his forearms, while Edge leaned hopping on the ropes the way he usually does. By the way, Edge had on the teal green tights, black jacket, and shades from when he teamed with Christian in 2000.

After Edge shed the jacket and shades, the match was ready to get underway. Both teams discussed amongst themselves who was going to start the match, and the consensus was on Shawn Michaels vs. Edge, an old rivalry from when and right after Edge went bad. Edge and Michaels looked at each other intently, before finally locking up in a grapple. Shawn held the advantage early, but Edge quickly proved himself to be the stronger guy, pushing Shawn back into the corner. The referee began his DQ count for Edge to let go, and the Rated R Superstar did so, but shortly thereafter quickly slapped the Heartbreak Kid right in the cheek in disrespect. Shawn then tried to lunge at Edge, but Edge countered into a drop toe hold, after which he got on top of Shawn Michaels and started slapping him around in the back of the head, a move taken both as copying Kurt Angle and as disrespecting Michaels, resulting in crowd jeers again. Once Shawn got up, he walked after Edge, but didn't punch as Edge thought he would. He launched a kick to the midsection, following which he ran off the ropes and flipped over Edge for a sunset flip cover. Edge managed to roll through, however, and tried to dropkick Shawn in the face, but the Heartbreak Kid dropped down on his back for a second and Edge missed. Both men got up, and Edge tried to irishwhip Michaels, who countered into a pull-back irishwhip via which he knocked Edge down with a knee to the gut. Shawn dragged Edge to the DX corner, where Triple H tagged himself in, then ran off the ropes on the opposite side as Shawn still held Edge, for a leaping knee drop to Edge's sternum. Trips picked up Edge, then irishwhipped him into the other corner, running after him and hitting a hard clothesline, sending Edge into a seat in the corner. Trips backed up a little, allowing CM Punk to tag himself in within the referee's eyesight.

Trips and Punk then locked up, but Punk quickly got behind Triple H and turned it into a backdrop suplex. He covered with a forearm to the face, and Triple H kicked out after two. CM then picked up the Game and hit him with a kick to the shin, then a right and a left, before irishwhipping him and getting him in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Punk then dragged Triple H into Punk & Edge's corner (sorry, Edge, but this just doesn't have the same ring to it as Edge & Christian) and tagged in Edge, who came into the ring and, after a little rub to the Game's cheek which resulted in a Triple H swing from which he ducked, Edge unloaded on Triple H with stomps, punches, and kicks, until he was well into a seated position, resulting in boos before the referee was able to finally restrain Edge and Punk. However, Edge managed to softly push the referee away, then charge after Triple H to dropkick the Game's head right into the turnbuckle. Right there, he started feeling a little confident that he had control, so the Rated R Superstar decided to pose to the crowd. He mocked Shawn Michaels' muscled pose and got booed for it immediately as Shawn was enticed into getting in the ring, thus allowing Punk to come in and stomp on Triple H a few times. Punk got back to the apron, and Shawn stopped his argument with the referee and returned as well, following which Edge tagged in Punk once he regained the referee's full attention. Edge stayed in the ring, though, as Punk came in and picked up Trips. Punk irishwhipped Trips into the corner and charged after him, but Trips lifted his boot up as Punk ran face-first into it, allowing him to come out and issue a falling neck breaker to CM Punk. Triple H then picked up Punk, and irishwhipped him into another corner, then got on the second turnbuckle and posed before giving Punk multiple punches before coming off and allowing Punk to fall face first. He then went over to his corner and tagged in Shawn Michaels, leaving enough time for Punk to start to get up in the process. Edge then came into the ring and distracted the referee, allowing Punk to nail Michaels with a low blow.

Straight Edge 24/7 then took Michaels and set him up on the ropes, before clibing the turnbuckle and then working his body around the ropes so that he got Shawn Michaels in a rope crucifix. The referee promptly began to make his DQ count, Punk stopping once it reached four. He then picked up Shawn Michaels and kneed him in the midsection, before running off the ropes and flipping over into a side neckbreaker on Michaels. Punk then covered Shawn, receiving only a two count before Shawn Michaels kicked out. Edge suddenly called to Punk, and told Punk to tag him in. Unsure of exactly why Edge wanted to tag in now, Punk walked over to Edge, who promptly tagged himself in and came into the ring, then called Punk to follow him in the center of the ring. Right then, Punk knew exactly what it was they were to do and, in the face of Triple H and all of Christian's fans, joined Edge in the imitation of the trademark pose of Edge & Christian. Triple H then took some verbal shots at Edge and CM Punk, as the fans booed Edge and Punk right out of the building. Too bad for them that it couldn't literally be the truth. Anyway, this unfortunately gave enough time for Shawn Michaels to get back up, and once he did so, he quickly sprinted towards Punk, grabbed him, and sent him over the top and out of the ring. Edge, however, was able to catch Shawn with a forearm from behind, then turned him around and gave him a backhand chop to the chest, resulting in the trademark "Woo!" from the fans. Edge then irishwhipped Shawn and met him wit a missile dropkick, before hooking his leg in a cover. 1, 2, and Shawn kicked out. Seeing asth thid was not going to be easier than he thought, Edge kept going on the attack, picking up Shawn and delivering a forearm, followed by a headlock takedown after which he kept on the side headlock. But he didn't keep it on much longer, as five seconds later, Edge got up and then hit a leg drop across the chest of Shawn Michaels. Edge made the cover again, resulting in yet another two-count kickout. Edge then picked up Michaels, irishwhipped him into the corner, and charged in after him, but Shawn ducked it and ran off the ropes past the DX corner and ended up running right into a spinning wheel kick from Edge! The Rated R Superstar then took Shawn and dragged him across the ring to his team's corner and tagged in Punk, who came in via slingshot senton over the top rope onto Shawn Michaels. Punk then dragged Shawn away from the ropes and covered him, which only resulted in a two count.

As Punk got up almost instantly, Shawn had a tougher time getting up himself, so Punk helped him out by picking him up and sending him out in his and Edge's area. With Punk going towards Triple H and distracting the referee with a war of the words, Edge picked up Shawn Michaels in front of Lita, then asked if she was ready, Nodding her head slowly with an evil grin developing on her features, Lita proceeded to slap Shawn Michaels with the palm and the back of her hand across his cheeks several times, ending the assault with a low kick to Michaels. Edge then rolled the Showstopped into the ring and enjoyed a small kiss with Lita as Punk finally stopped the argument and allowed the referee to pay attention to the in-ring action. Punk came on and covered Michaels again, but this time, Triple H outsmarted Punk by coming into the ring as soon as Punk stopped, so that he still had the referee's attention. Therefore, Punk was staying into a cover that was quite pointless. He noticed and, visibly frustrated, got off Michaels and started spewing out something about getting screwed. Maria then came into the ring and tapped Punk on the shoulder to point him to the situation, after which he got up and shoved the referee aside, which turned out to be a mistake. Not because of disqualification, but because of Triple H, who gave Punk a thumb to the eye, causing him to back up, which allowed Shawn Michaels to take advantage and roll him up in a school boy cover. Fans started getting a little happy… 1… 2… nope! Punk barely managed to kick out, but was the first to get up, and quickly made it a point to let Shawn know that as he gave Michaels a kick to the midsection, then hit him with a DDT. Punk then went for another cover, which once again resulted in only a two count. Punk, decided to attack Triple H with a cheap shot of a double forearm, sending Trips off the apron and into the guardrail. He then saw that Shawn Michaels was starting to get up, so he delivered a dropkick to the face of HBK to knock him right back down. CM then locked in a bow and arrow hold, bending Shawn's previously injured back and giving him much trouble. It was almost starting to become a little bit too much, as Punk was stretching him as much as possible with the bow and arrow hold. However, Trish Stratus and Victoria both came out and walked down the ramp, immediately coming to the apron and banging on it, starting an "HBK!" chant. Once the crowd was behind him, Shawn started to shake a little bit, showing a small sign of some life. Soon, it developed and continued on, and it was only a matter of time before Shawn elbowed CM Punk's head, several times, forcing the Drug Free Warrior to let go as Michaels fell on top of him as a result. Sucking up the pain from the initial submission, Michaels managed to keep enough of himself on Punk so that it counted as a cover, but Punk shortly put his shoulder up after two with little effort. Both men now concentrated themselves on getting up to their feet.

Although Punk was the first guy to get up, Shawn was not far behind, as he was sucking up his back pain and getting back in the match. Punk shot Shawn with a right hand, and Shawn answered back with a backhand chop to the chest. Punk replied with another right, Shawn with another chop. Punk's next attempt at a right hand was blocked by Shawn Michaels, who then fired a right hand of his own, and went on a streak of right hands towards CM Punk, which backed him into the ropes. Shawn then irishwhipped Punk and met him with an inverted atomic drop, then hit him with flying forearm smash taking him down. On his back, Shawn Michaels nipped up, while CM Punk made the mistake of rolling to the outside in the DX corner area, where Triple H had just gotten up a small while back. The Game proceeded to take CM Punk and irishwhip him into the steel steps, then picked him up and rolled him right back into the ring. Shawn then took CM and put him in position, before hitting his ex-trademark leg hook Saito suplex. Michaels then tagged in Triple H, who entered the ring and picked up CM Punk and irishwhipped him, leaping up to hit him with a Harley Race-like knee to the head. Punk got up, and Trips tried to irishwhip him again, but Punk countered. However, he telegraphed his move by instantly lowering his head, resulting in Triple H taking advantage with his trademark facebreaker knee smash. Triple H then set up CM Punk by hanging his neck on the top rope, after which he did a crotch chop in Edge's direction, infuriating the Rated R Superstar into getting into the ring and distracting the ref as Shawn Michaels came to CM Punk and hit him with a hangman's neckbreaker. The fans cheered riotously at heel tactics coming back to haunt them. CM had walked right into a reverse headlock, following which Triple H lifted him into a reverse suplex, but Punk landed on his feet, turned Trips around, kicked him in the gut, locked in a front facelock and a hammerlock (placing one of Trips's arms behind his back), then executed both a legsweep and the DDT. Punk made the cover, but Triple H kicked out after two.

Punk then tagged in Edge, after which Punk got on one knee and Edge ran off the ropes and got Triple H in a two-handed facebuster from behind. The facebuster was not to the mat, but rather to Punk's knee. Punk then left the ring, and Edge picked up Triple H and got behind him, following which he hit his half nelson facecrusher, the Faceplant. Feeling that he was ready for something, Edge posed to the crowd as he awaited Triple H's rise. Once he was just off his knees, Edge quickly locked his face in, possibly going for Edgecution. However, Triple H managed to spin out of it and into a hammerlock on Edge, which he quickly changed into a headlock, during which he would go on to rub his knuckles into Edge's face for extra pain. As Edge finally pushed off, Triple H ran off the ropes right close to Michaels, who tagged himself in and came in as Triple H came back with a hard clothesline to Edge. After Edge got up, he tried to swing for a clothesline at Michaels, who ducked, got behind him, and got him in a school boy cover. Edge kicked out after two, then after both men got up, went after Michaels again, and again Michaels ducked and got behind him, but this time delivered a backdrop suplex. CM Punk tried to come into the ring, the referee finally missing an entry, and ended up getting a right hand for his efforts. Punk got up again and started to run at Shawn, only to get knocked down with a back chop. Punk got back up, and Michaels nailed a rare missile dropkick. Shawn then covered CM Punk, but got off him when he saw Edge coming, leading to Edge accidentally dropping his elbow into Punk's chest! Shawn then pushed Edge towards Triple H, who lowered the bridge that was the ropes, sending Edge to the outside! Shawn then picked Punk up and got him in a simple scoop slam, before going over and tagging in Triple H once again. Trips came to Punk as Straight Edge 24/7 was getting up, then irishwhipped him, meeting his return with a Double A-like rolling spinebuster. Trips then tagged Michaels, who went to the turnbuckle across the apron, and climned up, presumably to go for a Heartbreak Elbow, before Lita distracted the referee and Maria, not wanting Punk to get hit with that high flying elbow drop, tipped the ropes so that Shawn fell off balance and crotched himself. She was almost instantly booed, after which she froze in realization that she just cheated for her boyfriend. Lita came over to her and tried to tell her congratulations, but she pushed Lita off of her and immediately went to climb over the rail and escaped through the crowd. As Lita shook her head and at first went to go after Maria, she heard Edge calling her and asking her to stay for him because he might need her soon. And naturally, she obliged.

As Punk just got up, he saw Shawn in his uncomfortable predicament, and climbed up the turnbuckle in order to try and slam Michaels off the top, the Heartbreak Kid managed to make himself a little more comfortable, then dish Punk several punched to the chest, which knocked him off, then get into good position and nail the Heartbreak Elbow off the second rope instead of the top rope. He then got up, started to shake, signaled for energy from the crowd, found a corner, tuned up the band, and as soon as CM Punk got up, nailed the superkick to the chin, the Sweet Chin Music. However, Michaels did not go for the cover. He started to grimace in pain, favoring his right leg (specifically, his right foot), before he started to slag around a little bit. He only got sloppier and sloppier, seemingly getting more and more tired with every passing second. Until, with a glazing donut look in his eyes, Shawn finally fell down, and even closed his eyes. He was out like a light, practically if not literally asleep. Triple H looked at his partner in some sort of concern, while Edge came into the ring and distracted the referee, allowing Lita to drag CM Punk's body into his corner. As soon as Lita finished the deed and safely went back to the outside, Edge went back to the apron, tagged himself in, and went back into the ring, running after Triple H, who was getting in, and dropkicking him between the ropes to the outside. Edge then rolled Shawn Michaels on his back and covered him. 1, 2, 3!

"Here are your winners, CM Punk and Edge!"

As the boos filled the entire arena at the announcement from Lilian Garcia, "Over the Edge" was heard, and out came Vince McMahon, as Edge was on his knees, relishing in the fact that he was going to face Triple H for the WWE Championship in just six days. The Rated R Superstar, in almost complete glee, jerked Lita over to him in a hug as soon as she walked close to him, which happened to also be as soon as he got up. The two then suddenly paused, before going into another two-tongue tango, which was severely jeered by the fans. Meanwhile, Vince and Shane McMahon were making their way down the ramp, leading to even further boos. Shane got directly on the apron and stepped through the ropes, while Vince took the long way; crossing the steel steps all the way on the other side, since the steps to his left were out of position thanks to Triple H earlier in the match.

Shane crouched behind Shawn Michaels and pointed to Shawn's right boot, afted which Vince did the same and actually began to take off the boot. After they did so, they realized that there was something on Shawn's foot, which was currently covered by a white sock. Vince and Shane looked and pointed in smiling manner towards the object, Edge and Lita (and CM Punk) now paying attention, and after the camera closed in, we saw that it was something that looked like… a miniature tranquilizer dart, that much have been pushed into Shawn's skin while he was tuning up the band and/or when he delivered that superkick. The fans immediately jeered the very scene before them, as the close-in view was seen on the Titantron. As Trish and Victoria looked on horrified at the lengths Mr. McMahon and/or Edge apparently went to in order for the Rated R Superstar to get this title shot, the WWE Champion himself came into the ring, and Edge noticed it, giving Triple H a Spear. Mick Foley came out, running past Trish and Victoria, then escaping their attempt to grab his leg as he and Edge beat away at Triple H. That was, until the crowd was momentously swept off its feet via the arrival of five men making a bee-line toward the ring, the leader of which was… Christian Cage! And Christian immediately got on Edge and tackled him, then hit several punches on the Rated R Superstar on the ground, while John Cena, Matt Hardy, Taka Michinoku, and Rob Van Dam chased off Mick Foley, CM Punk, Lita, and the McMahons. Edge was able to escape and joined both his girlfriend and his "replacement for Christian", after which Stratus and Victoria entered the ring, and Cage immediately grabbed a mic.

"Well, there you have it. Another damn plot by McMahonism to get on everyone's last nerve and to claim themselves the great gods of professional wrestling and of sports entertainment. Edge, I guarantee you this: that fake Samoa Joe of yours, Umaga, along with that psycho Mickie James, aren't gonna screw me out of my comeback!" Christian confidently stated, the Peepulation getting raucous as he said this. "Stacy Keibler, thanks to me, will pin Mickie James this Sunday at SummerSlam, and you better back out of that championship match you apparently schemed to get, because if you do become the WWE Champion, you better enjoy every day you've got with the title, because at Unforgiven, Stacy and I won't give up until I completely kick your ass, and she pins your little skankeroon over there, and I walk out the proven absolute best, the WWE Champion! (insert cheers) And if Triple H retains at SummerSlam, I'm gonna give you a chance at my Unforgiven title shot next Monday night on Raw, just so I can still completely kick your ass anyway! And I'll still become WWE Champion at Unforgiven, and do you know why!? Because, I'm Captain Charisma, bitch! (insert cheers) But most importantly of all, (fans sing along at this point) because that's how I roll!"

As Christian Cage's TNA entrance theme, the instrumental version of Evanescence's "My Last Breath" that was composed by Dale Oliver, blared on the arena loudspeakers at a WWE event for the first time ever, Christian received "Welcome back!" chants from his fans, as his Chain Gang and DX allies all gave him congratulatory handshakes and hugs in backing of the fans' feelings. Trish hugged Christian for a longer time than any of the others, and even posed along with him in her usual manner as he came on the turnbuckle and pointed a kiss to his Peeps, to which the crowd reacted in major glee and loudness. Cena, Van Dam, Hardy, and Michinoku all clapped, as the McMahonists shouted insults and shook their heads angrily at the whole thing. Meanwhile, Triple H came over to Shawn Michaels and removed the small tranquilizer dart from Shawn's foot, resulting in a small jolt of pain which started to wake the Icon That Can Still Go. This is how the show left the air.

a/n: Yeah, see, this chapter is a huge, huge star for no apparent necessary reason except I love this. Off to write SummerSlam and to make it great. And if this was a hassle the size of a castle, I can't imagine all the big matches that I'll have to write down. SummerSlam, by the way, will be in two chapters. Peace out, peeps.

-P. Dizzle.

P.S. to Kiora Storm: if you read this chapter, thanks for helping me out. I can tell this is gonna be fun…


	10. SummerSlam Part 1, The Show Gets Going

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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a/n: For chapter 9, I happened to catch four reviews for a chapter, which is tied for record high for any other chapter in ths fic. And I officially have comments about each of the reviews themselves.

First of all, I'd like to begin with start-a-revolution, the first person. I'm sorry that you feel kinda left out of the loop, as I certainly don't intend to devastate you, but it might be just because Kiora and I are still writing while you've already finished. Speaking of Kiora, I just got one thing to say: yes, it shall be fun. ZeroBen, I know that you're a fan of both Punk _and_ Cena, just as I am, but considering exactly what's on the line in this here match, and you should easily be able to distinguish which piece of your mixed fandon you'd be more liable to tap into. But then again, that's just my take on it, and you've got the right to root for or against whoever you want, so it's all good. Cenababe1, good to see you again. And I know you like the TNA interaction and stuff, but unlike the Evolution fic, this one doesn't exactly intertwine TNA as a whole as much as just Christian. And while I may be stretching my element a little, I don't feel so much out of it. But good to note nonetheless.

**Chapter 10: SummerSlam Part 1, The Show Gets Going**

Date & Show: August 27, 2006, WWE SummerSlam 2006

WWE SummerSlam 2006 got underway with fireworks as well as the playing of one of its theme songs. The matches on the card were matches for all three brands: Raw, Smackdown, and ECW. The entire card was replayed first and foremost, and the matches were presented from first to last by the six announcers: Smackdown's Michael Cole and John Bradshaw Layfield, ECW's Joey Styles and Tazz, and of course, Raw's Jim Ross and Jerry "the King" Lawler.

Jim Ross: "Ladies and gentlemen, and WWE fans of all ages, welcome to WWE SummerSlam 2006, the biggest party of the summer, from the TD Bankworth Garden in Boston, Mass! Get ready for a night of pay-per-view unlike you've never seen before! For Monday Nighy Raw, I'm Jim Ross, and with my partner Jerry "the King" Lawler, we are ready to get this show on the road!"

Jerry "the King" Lawler: "This is gonna be one of the biggest nights in WWE history! I love this! All three brands! Smackdown, ECW, and most importantly of all, Raw are here tonight!"

JR: "Yes, that is indeed true, and speaking of which, we go to Smackdown, with Michael Cole and Tazz, to run down a couple Smackdown matches that are on the card tonight!"

Michael Cole: "Well, thank you for being here with us, everybody! SummerSlam expects to be the biggest show of the year for four reasons more than any other! And one of those big reasons is that tonight, the World Heavyweight Champion King Booker expects to face perhaps the biggest predicament of his entire reign!"

John Bradshaw Layfield: "Well, I strongly believe that King Booker will remain on his throne tonight."

Cole: "But first and foremost, tipping off the entire evening, will be the triple threat matchup for the United States Title featuring the return of Bobby Lashley, along with both former members of King Booker's Court, the defending champion Finlay and William Regal!"

JBL: "Finlay and Regal have been at odds ever since facing each other for this title at the Great American Bash, and now is the time to settle things once and for all between the two of them and Bobby Lashley, to decide who is the best of the three once and for all!"

Cole: "And now we go to the ECW announcers for a big time match from their brand!"

Joey Styles: "Hello, everyone, and welcome to SummerSlam! I'm Joey Styles, he's Tazz, and we're the announcers of ECW!"

Tazz: "Yeah, this is gonna be big! I love this pay-per-view! Smackdown, Raw, and ECW together for the first time ever? This is great!"

Styles: "Not to mention that I get to see the Insurrexion against McMahonism that Stacy Keibler and I helped bring together firsthand!"

Tazz: "I'm sure this must be a glorious day for you, Styles, but back to business."

Styles: "Right. ECW, by the way, is gonna open up its first ever part of the SummerSlam card with an eight-man tag team match pitting Tommy Dreamer, Kurt Angle, the Sandman, and Balls Mahoney against the team of Mike Knox, Test, "the Fertig Vampirist" Kevin Thorn, and Justin Credible!"

Tazz: "A completely opposite bag of misfits here for this ECW competition! And Paul Heyman threw Angle and Credible in there at the last minute for some reason! This is gonna be off the hook!"

JR: "Now, back to us, Raw has the special distinction of hosting a triple threat match for the Intercontinental Championship between Carlito, the defending champion Charlie Haas, and Haas's former partner, one of the followers of McMahonism, Shelton Benjamin."

King: "Carlito and Charlie Haas have crossed paths with one another more than Shelton has, especially since Shelton Benjamin has been busy with faithful service to McMahonism! Not many people think he'll win this match, but can he prove that to be a mistake? If he can, Mr. McMahon will be a very happy McMahon!"

Styles: "Also, Smackdown and ECW are coming together for the first ever "miniskirt" match, where each of the Smackdown and ECW divas are coming out in their own special outfits, complete with miniskirts, and the last person not to be stripped out of her miniskirt will go to Raw tomorrow night to battle for the Women's Championship against Mickie James!"

Tazz: "I'm gonna get ready to see some hot tomatoes out there, Joey!"

Styles: "For ECW, Kelly Kelly, Beulah McGillicutty, Francine, and Ariel are going to be taking part in this match. Can you imagine what kind of miniskirt dress Ariel's gonna wear to the ring tonight?"

JBL: "I don't know, but she is as hot as she is scary. However, I guarantee you this. She will not win this match. Someone from Smackdown is going to win this match!"

Tazz: "Who? Queen Sharmell? Ashley? Kristal? Jillian Hall? Michelle McCool?"

JBL: "That's it! Michelle McCool is going to win this match because she is hot and she is smart, and as this fruit booty Michael Cole loves to put up, she is extremely athletic! And Queen Sharmell is royalty! She will make all these so-called "ladies" feel like bowing down to her, trust me!"

Cole: "Well, he's right about three things. All these Divas are great athletes, and they are some of the sexiest women on the planet."

Tazz: "But nobody's gonna bow down because of Sharmell, and I know someone from ECW is gonna win!"

JBL: "In your dreams."

JR: "Speaking of dreams, JBL, here's a man you've beaten before chasing his dream! It's gonna be the tag team of TNA Wrestling's Christian Cage and our own Stacy Keibler-"

Styles: "My contact in setting up the Insurrexion! I'm gonna root for Stacy on this one!"

JR: "Anyway, Stacy and Christian will take on two of Mr. McMahon's Missionaries, Umaga and the Women's Champion Mickie James."

King: "Only the women can be involved in and score the final decision, and if Christian and Stacy win, they get to compete in another match like this against the WWE Champion for the title at Unforgiven! But if they lose, which I hope to see happen then Christian's entire comeback is null and void, and that quitter gets sent right back down south to where he came from."

JR: "He seems to really want both a WWE title match and an opportunity to get his hands on Edge, his former partner, who happens to be the challenger for the WWE title later tonight."

JBL: "Also from Smackdown, Randy Orton is fighting for love against that overprotective selfish father known as "the Immortal" Hulk Hogan!"

Cole: "If the Legend Killer can reprove his status once again and beat Hulk Hogan in this match tonight, he will earn a date with Hogan's beautiful daughter, Brooke Hogan. But Hulk wants none of that, which is why this match is on in the first place!"

JBL: "I think he's a fool! I watch Hogan Knows Best! I see how he tries to control his children's love lives! This is no different! Brooke is receptive to Randy, but as usual, Daddy's not letting her date who she likes!"

JR: "Let's not forget about this confrontation of lovers! CM Punk and John Cena have been fighting with each other and starting Raw's currently huge faction feud ever since Punk came to Raw, and it's all been because of their mutual feelings for Maria!"

King: "She is CM Punk's girlfriend, not John Cena's, and Cena's been interfering with that for too long! I understand Cena thinks that Mr. McMahon has manipulated and is using CM Punk to his advantage, but even if he is, it's the right thing to do!"

JR: "I know a lot of angry Boston Chain Gang soldiers aren't gonna agree with that, and they're all in this arena, King. And don't forget, thanks to Mr. McMahon and his son Shane, this match could've been for the opportunity to show Maria a good time for a day as far as John Cena's concerned, but instead, now we've got a match with Cena's job on the line."

Styles: "I know all about that. Sad, isn't it? And now the first of three world title matches! It's an extreme rules match between the maniacal Sabu and the defending ECW World Champion, the World's Largest Athlete, the 500-pound Big Show."

Tazz: "Paul Heyman has tried for the longest time to avoid this match for Show's sake but with ¾ of this already shortened roster threatening to walk out, he had to make it happen! That's the true way ECW rolls!"

Cole: "Also, the World Heavyweight Champion King Booker defends his title in a 5-man over-the-top elimination match that turns into a standard one-on-one match when there's only two men left, against the challengers Mr. Kennedy, the Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, and Batista!"

JBL: "Chavo Guerrero wisely still hasn't come out of retirement to face an already irate Rey Mysterio, irate as if the Guerreros didn't lie, cheat, and steal, and Undertaker's got momentum after getting rid of the Great Khali in the Punjabi Prison match at the Great American Bash! That's the only reason that this match isn't solely between King Booker, Mr. Kennedy, and Batista! But I still believe that Booker T will successfully defend as the King of the World against any and all peasants!"

JR: "Speaking of kings defending against any and all peasants, D-Generation X's King of Kings, Triple H, defends his WWE Heavyweight Championship against the Rated R Superstar, Edge!"

King: "Yeah, but who will be at ringside? Will Lita be at ringside? Will Shawn Michaels be at ringside? Will anyone from McMahonism or DX be at ringside? And whoever it is, and whichever of these two great competitors can win this title match, will they have to pick a woman to face the hot Stacy Keibler and that damn Christian for the title at Unforgiven?"

JR: "All these questions will be answered tonight at SummerSlam!"

Styles: "I pray to **God** that Edge does not win tonight."

The first match finished with Finlay having retained the US title after Lashley hit Regal with the Dominator, and as the Little Bastard leaped into the ring to distract the referee, he craftily tossed the shillelagh to Finlay, who hit Lashley in the testicles and the back of the head with it with the referee's attention turned. Finlay then covered Regal and got the 1, 2, 3 as the ref finally paid attention. After the match, Finlay helped Regal out of the ring, and King Booker came out, congratulating his Court members for keeping together through "Theodore Long's chickenry to try and break the comraderie of my loyal knights."

Charlie Haas, meanwhile, ran into his former tag team partner Shelton Benjamin, while walking around the hallway.

"Hey, Shelton. You mind telling me why you joined into all this McMahonism mess?" Charlie demanded, getting in Shelton's face as soon as they crossed paths.

"Because Mr. McMahon can do more for me and for my career than you ever have, Charlie," Shelton answered bluntly. "That's right. Vincent Kennedy McMahon helped me out when I needed him. He's a good chairman. And even though I still lost the Intercontinental Title, got it back, and then lost it again to you, I know I'm claiming that piece of gold for myself once again."

"If you think I'm gonna give up the Intercontinental Title that easy, you've got something else coming your way next, Shelton," Charlie advised him. "Because after we're done watching Kurt Angle embarrass himself in this ECW freak sideshow match, I'll show you why I made us the World's Greatest Tag Team, and I'll show both you and Carlito that I am the Intercontinental Champion and that is true to stay."

"Wait a minute, I remember, you guys," a familiar voice said, as the two young men turned their heads to see their former mentor, Kurt Angle. "You're Charlie and Shelton, those two other guys I trained. Now, why do I get the feeling that my barely remembering you must mean either you've been disappointing or I haven't exactly kept my tabs on you two lately?"

"Hey, Kurt. Before you start dressing both of us down, who's got the gold around here?" Charlie asked, pointing to the Intercontinental Championship belt around his waist in Gregory Helms-like fashion.

"Oh, yeah, the Intercontinental Title," Kurt recalled. "I remember that thing. Last time I remember winning it was in my rookie year! And last I recall, I won many more _World_ Championships over my career after that."

"To answer your question: because it's true. You really haven't been keeping up with us. Well, I'll have you know, that Carlito and this guy are both about to get their asses beat by me, Shelton Benjamin, the Most Pure Athlete in the World Today. No, better yet, the Best Damn Athlete, Period!" Shelton bragged.

"Why, because you went and sold your soul to a fake god that just happens to be signing our paychecks?" Kurt taunted. "I don't sell my soul to anyone. I'm Kurt Angle! I'm the most vicious son-of-a-bitch in WWE history! And that's Raw, Smackdown, and ECW put together! That's what separates me from the both of you! And Shelton, the only thing separating you and Charlie from each other is that he got cut and came back, and you sold your soul! So I guess that means… you suck!"

Being cheered by the fans that were watching via the Titantron in the arena, Kurt Angle walked past his students, as Shelton shook his head. He then looked down at Charlie's waist, where the Intercontinental Title was, and he pointed to it with a wagging right index finger and an intent stare at the belt.

"What could you possibly like that much? Me, or the Intercontinental Championship?" Charlie asked tauntingly as Shelton looked at him in disgust at what he possibly suggested right there.

"Obviously, Charlie, it's the title. Which by the end of the night is going around my waist. And I guaran-damn-tee it," Shelton replied in guarantee fashion, before walking away. Behind his back, Charlie just blew him off and walked in the other direction.

The second match, which was the ECW 8-man tag team contest for which Kurt Angle came out, was a closely contested battle in which Kevin Thorn was easily the man with the most luck against Sandman, Tommy Dreamer, and Balls Mahoney, whereas Test and Mike Knox were met by double team tricks and got the crap beat out of then at times, though they did have an edge. However, when Kurt Angle was tagged in, he completely took over the action, and it was only a matter of time until even a seemingly indestructible vampiric guy was forced to tap out to the Ankle Lock.

Cameras right outside the building showed John Cena and tha Trademarc come into the TD Bankworth Garden, to which the entire Boston crowd went nuts for their hometown boys.

Meanwhile, all three of the brand authorities of the WWE (Raw GM Eric Bischoff, Smackdown GM Theodore Long, and ECW Administrator Paul Heyman) were holding a discussion in one office.

"Did you see that? This is the kind of action you get from ECW! This is much better material than you would ever get with either Raw or Smackdown!" Paul Heyman bragged in his office.

"Now hold on a minute playa. You think you just had a big match? Well, imagine what's gonna happen out there tonight when King Booker defends the World Title against Mr. Kennedy, Rey Mysterio, Batista, and the Undertaker!" Theodore reminded them. "Oh, and as for that miniskirt match: someone from Smackdown is gonna win this damn thang and let it do what it do, Paul. And then you're gonna learn why Smackdown is the A-team in sports entertainment."

"Sports entertainment? Will you shut up? Don't you know what specific kind of sports entertainment this is? This is professional wresling, Teddy! My girls understand that, and that's why one of them is going to win this match!" Heyman proclaimed.

"Hey! All I know is Raw's got the brunt of the card!" Eric reminded them all.

"All because of Mr. McMahon! That shows no proof that Raw is the best brand whatsoever," Theodore quickly pointed out. Suddenly, a knock came on the door. After Eric invited them to come on in, they saw Christian Cage, in one of his entrance vests, alongside Stacy Keibler. Eric got up to shake hands with and greet Stacy and Christian.

"You brought that outsider here, didn't ya?" Teddy asked condescendingly towards Bischoff. Eric, Stacy, and Christian all ignored the comment.

"Where's Austin and Lee?" Christian asked. "I thought he was supposed to bring her here by now."

"They'll be here. Don't worry," Bischoff assured them. "I just got a call from Stone Cold a few minutes back. They're stuck in traffic a little bit, but he will bring her here or my name isn't Eric Aaron Bischoff. You guys need to make sure you're ready for the match, though, alright?"

"Sure thing, man," Christian replied, beginning to turn around to leave until he stopped himself. "Oh, and Teddy: tell Chavo I said hi, and if he's not gonna come back to wrestle, you need to think about banning him from the arena. That's how I roll."

After that, Christian and Stacy left. The lone reaction in the office was of Theodore Long shaking his head.

And finally, the former entrance music of the World's Greatest Tag Team came on, and a mostly-cheers mixed reaction quickly followed, as Charlie Haas came out running and leaping at the stage, and he was introduced as what he was: the Intercontinental Champion. Walking down the ramp, Haas high-fived a few fans before sliding into the ring, running toward a turnbuckle, and once on it, opening his arm out and patting his title to many cheers from the fans. Shelton Benjamin's music soon followed, and a few cheers soon turned into a huge myriad of boos as the McMahonist of the match came out, and he was out in full, with $500 Hawaiian shirt and shades along with his wrestling gear, and the cocky stride he usually employs going with it. Entering the ring via steps and ropes, Shelton went up on the turnbuckle and raised his arms in predetermined victory, getting booed more than ever all over again. Then, that familar spit was heard, leading to the usual entrance theme of Carlito, who came out with that apple in hand, walking down the ramp in his usual manner. Now he was cheered for by everybody in the arena, because he's Carlito. He rolled into the ring, bit into his apple, and spat it out into the air much to the people's adulation, before his music stopped and the opening bell rang.

Following the ceremonial hoist in the air of the Intercontinental Championship, the three competitors all crept closer to each other. Charlito and Charlie Haas got into a grapple, while Shelton Benjamin suddenly backed out of it to the boos of the world. Carlito ended up getting Haas in a headlock takedown, and Haas quickly kicked out of it, after which both men noticed and looked at Shelton Benjamin. Haas and Carlito then both chased after Shelton, to which he reacted by quickly scatting out of the ring. As both of Shelton's opponents tried to egg him on to get back into the ring, Carlito suddenly turned Haas around and hit him with several left hands, after which he irishwhipped him and started to telegraph a move. However, Haas managed to hang onto the ropes and stop himself. Haas then came over to Carlito, kicked him in the midsection, backed into the ropes, bounced off, and flipped over Carlito to get in a sunset flip cover. However, they were right next to the ropes, which Carlito exploited by grabbing said ropes with his right hand. The referee saw it in the middle of his count and forced Haas to let go, to which the Haas Pop Man complied without protest.

After Carlito got up, Haas irishwhipped him into the corner and gave him a clothesline which shook him out of the corner, following which Haas ran off the ropes to get behind the walking Carlito and hit him with a facebuster. Haas covered Carlito once again, and this time received a two count for his efforts before Carlito kicked out. Benjamin came onto the apron, after which Haas picked up and irishwhipped Carlito. The Cool One countered this time into an irishwhip of Haas, who ended up leaving the ring thanks to Shelton low-bridging the ropes on him before he came into the ring and traded rights with Carlito, who due to his non-right-handedness ended up being at a disadvantage. After getting knocked down by one of Shelton's rights, Carlito instantly got up, but in a corner. Shelton irishwhipped him to the opposite corner, but he didn't stay there long, so Shelton hit him with a leg lariat, then made the cover. Again, Carlito kicked out after two. Charlie Haas came into the ring, and Benjamin instantly noticed him and stared him down as the two began talking smack to one another. Haas began to go for a missile dropkick after Carlito got up behind Benjamin, and Benjamin dodged the dropkick, leading to it hitting Carlito behind him. Haas then actually began to stomp on Carlito for awhile, and Shelton joined in soon after, and the sudden coallition between the former World's Greatest Tag Team/Original Team Angle partners resulted in a disapproving audience. The two then picked up Carlito and issued him a double team suplex. After this, Shelton and Charlie both placed Carlito into a corner, after which Shelton used the Stinger Splash on Carlito to get him out of it a little bit. He ended up walking right into an Exploder suplex from Charlie Haas, which was half impressive, half despicable to the fans due to the allegiance to this McMahonist Benjamin. Speaking of whom, while the two posed in the ring and received the audience's jeers for their efforts, Shelton actually tried to sneak by Haas to cover Carlito! However, Haas heard the referee slap the mat and yell "One!", after which he kicked Shelton off of Carlito and went for the cover himself. However, Carlito kicked out after the count of two, much to Haas's mat-banging frustration.

Shelton quickly got up and got in Charlie Haas's face, both ex-partners talking smack at each other and again ignoring the mere idea that Carlito might be there. Shelton then tried to get in a clothesline, but Haas ducked, got behind him, and got the school boy pin cover on him. However, Shelton managed to kick out after the count of two and this time, his clothesline succeeded in knocking Haas down. Shelton, as he was stalking away on Haas, ended up being turned around by Carlito, and the second-generation Puerto Rican superstar hit him with the correct hand this time: the left hand. This way, he succeded in backing up Shelton, and eventually gaining the ability to irishwhip him and give him a missile dropkick. Shelton, though, managed to get up to a sitting position, so Carlito dropkicked his back in order to take him down, then hooked the leg, after which Shelton kicked out. Carlito helped Shelton up, then irishwhipped him again. However, this time, Carlito countered it by jumping on the second rope and springboarding off it with a back elbow to Shelton. However, this was when Charlie Haas appeared from behind, with a bridging German suplex to Carlito. Now it looked like Haas had it. 1… 2… no! Carlito managed a kickout at the very last second! Haas picked up Carlito and scooped him up, then set him down into a reverse headlock, but that's when Candice Michelle came down to ringside, getting in front of Haas and distracting him. This caused Haas to set down Carlito, and then get into a bit of a trash talking session with the GoDaddy Woman. But unbeknownst to Charlie, this only brought Benjamin one step closer to the Intercontinental Title, by allowing Shelton to take Charlie out with a clothesline to the back of the head sending him over the top rope. After Shelton tried to pick up Carlito, however, Caribbean Cool merely pulled down the Son of South Carolina into an inside cradle! Luckily for him, Candice was on the apron watching to see what would happen, and distracting the referee as well, so he got no count for what he was doing. Carlito got out of his own cover on Shelton just to see why the referee wasn't counting, so Candice came into the ring and stopped him, then talked to him a little bit. As he liked what he was hearing, she took off her top and revealed a black bra underneath it. Carlito was enticed by what he was seeing, but then, after she put her arms around her neck sexily, he knew exactly what was going on and broke her away from him, then sent her through the ropes and out of the ring, much to the glee of this anti-McMahonism Boson crowd! Torrie Wilson then came down and immediately tackled Candice as soon as she got up! Torrie stayed on top of her and actually punched her a few times, but that was before Torrie was forcily jerked away from Candice by none other than the McMahonamania Boy Wonder himself, Shane McMahon, who was utterly discriminated against the minute he even poked his head out.

Carlito was now jaw jacking at Shane for his harsh treatment of his close friend Torrie, which allowed her to escape now just in case Shane would deliver any more harm to her, but that was before Shelton turned him around and went for a low kick on him. However, Carlito blocked it… and suffered the fate of the Dragon Whip lariat for doing so! However, as Shelton was beginning to stalk away at Carlito and await his getting up so that he could hit him with something, possibly his T-Bone powerslam suplex, Charlie Haas came into the ring and suddenly assaulted Shelton with right hands, the fans cheering as they finally saw that Haas wasn't teaming with Benjamin on this one after all! Haas irishwhipped Shelton Benjamin, then went for a clothesline, which Shelton ducked. Shelton came back off the ropes and attempted a leaping clothesline, which Charlie suffered, then went over to Haas as the Seton Hall alumnus was getting up, following which he attempted a vertical suplex. However, Haas landed on his feet turned towards Benjamin, and then he went for a suplex, and Shelton landed on his feet, but this time, in position to counter with a falling neckbreaker. Benjamin then started to pose, in waiting for Haas to get up, but little did he know, he was going to be in a bad way, as Carlito got up and hit him with the Backcracker from out of nowhere! Carlito, however, couldn't go for the cover, because Haas dropkicked him in the side, sending him stumbling through the ropes and out of the ring. Haas then picked up Benjamin, and scooped him up, quickly set him down into a reverse headlock, then hit a reverse DDT, completing the Haastile Takeover combo, which the fans enjoyed. Haas then rolled Benjamin over and got him into the Haas of Pain, following which Shelton had little choice but to tap out, the cheering crowd in tow.

"Here is your winner by submission, and still WWE Intercontinental Champion, Charlie Haas!"

And this time, the Haas Pop Man was finally feeling a night where his Haas Pop was actually a pop instead of sheer silence. He took the Intercontinental Title and celebrated his victory by holding it up high as he was on the turnbuckle, leading to cheers from the crowd. Carlito and Shelton Benjamin were both recovering themselves after the difficulty of this match, and so was Haas, except he was also recognizing that he won the match and is still the Intercontinental Champion, much to the fans' adulation and respect.

Meanwhile, in the back, there was a song playing on in John Cena's locker room, as he and Trademarc bounced their heads softly and rhythmically to it. It was "Fk Wit Us", off their "You Can't See Me" CD. It was in its final few seconds. After the song ended, Trademarc turned his and Cena's CD radio off, and the two cousins then stood up.

"John, you sure you're gonna be ready for this one?" Marc asked him, putting a hand on each of Cena's shoulders in concern. "Cause I heard CM Punk is an incredible wrestler."

"I know he's an incredible wrestler. I've been against him. And damn, he's got skills. But tonight, is a big night for me Marc. If I lose this match, then that means I'm fired," John pointed out. "And if I'm fired, that means I can't go out there in front of all my Chain Gang soldiers in the stands, I can't lead my in-ring soldiers, I can't fight to get Maria and CM Punk away from McMahonism, I can't ever try to get back the WWE Championship, and basically, I can't wrestle. And all that, is basically a no-no. There is no way in hell I'm losin' this match to CM Punk!"

"Right on, John. Now, listen, cous, I'm gonna go out there with you and have your back, alright?" Marc offered. John merely looked at him, with some kind of weird glance, after which he finally put a hand on his lesser-known cousin's shoulder.

"Marc, I think I got an even better idea. Why don't you help me out a bit by gettin' Maria back to her hotel room, a'ight?" John asked.

"Get her back to her hotel room?" Marc repeated confusedly.

"Yeah. That way, she won't be there at ringside to watch me and CM Punk go. If she's at ringside, it'll hurt her too much to see me and Punk go full throttle on each other," Cena pointed out. "Besides, too many distractions and CM Punk might just weasel away wit' my job. Can't let that happen. You got my back on this one, right?"

"Damn straight I've got your back. You and me, we're blood, man. Can't turn your back on that. I just hit up Matt before I came back in here. He told me his bro's gone clean," Marc explained. "Guy was real hyped up about it. You better calm him down when you reach him tomorrow."

"Thanks for the tip, but now's about time to handle some business," Cena reminded Trademarc.

"Oh, yeah. See ya round, homey. Take care," Marc said, shaking hands and bumping shoulders with his cousin as Cena said "you too". Once the two split the handshake, Trademarc left the locker room.

Now, for the miniskirt match. It would be fun to watch on TV, but for multiple reasons, it would be pointless to describe that match. So, therefore, all I can say is this: Ashley won by last eliminating Francine, and Smackdown's announcers and fans were much more happy than ECW's in the end. After watching that alongside the three McMahonism _followers_ in their locker room, Mickie James merely shook her head.

"I have to wrestle Ashley for the Women's Title tomorrow? I think I'm gonna get bored a little too fast, guys," Mickie pointed out as she turned to Candice Michelle.

"At least it's an easy title defense," Shelton pointed out. "Me _getting_ the Intercontinental Title wasn't so easy, though."

"You didn't even get the title, Shelton!" Candice scolded correctively.

"That's what I'm saying. It wasn't so easy to get," Shelton recanted defensively, before a knock was heard on the door. Candice answered it, and at the door was none other than their lord, master, and god, Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

"So, what did he say? Did you work it out?" Mickie asked Vince, coming up to him.

"Well, there's good news, and there's bad news. The good news is, the Spirit Squad members are all getting jobs on Smackdown," Vince began.

"Yes!" Mickie exclaimed, jumping around in excitement and already starting to sing about Kenny and the Squad being back.

"But, there's also some bad news involved in this whole equation," Vince pointed out. "First of all, they're not going to be here tonight. Secondly, despite all my persuasion, Teddy Long remains firm in stating that the Spirit Squad is to disband, at least into two different entities, if they want their jobs."

"The thing is, they are still back, right?" Shelton asked for insurance.

"You're damn right they're still back!" Mickie shouted enthusiastically before Vince could do so. "Umaga, come on! We've got a Christian to send right back to where he came from!"

"Oh, yah," Umaga said, finally starting to speak some sort of English, as he stood up and followed Mickie out the door for their big match.

Meanwhile, Stacy Keibler and Christian Cage were also walking over to the Gorilla position in order to go for their match. Christian was in that black and white cape thing with the black hood and the letter C in black, along with the black and white pantaloons that went with it. Stacy was in her Super Stacy getup, complete with mask and black ring gear.

After a couple of minutes, Mickie James' music came on, and she was met with a split-halfway mixed reaction, as she skipped to the ring in usual fashion, slid into the ring, then got on the turnbuckle and held her Women's Championship high in the air for the world to see. Fans managed to cheer during this moment. Then, Umaga's music came on, and he made his way to the ring in his usual no-nonsense fashion, receiving a good assortment of boos. He came into the ring via steps and ropes, then stood at the center of the ring and stretched out his arms, saying some words in what couldn't be discerned as either Samoan or sloppy English.

But out of nowhere, the sound of a glass shattering blared across the arena, and out came "Stone Cold" Steve Austin in a "Stunner, Inc." tanktop, along with blue cut jeans, and his usual knee brace and boots. He also kept on his own usual no-nonsense walk as he made his way to the ring via steel steps and ropes, before going on each and every turnbuckle and raising his arms high with the middle finger stuck out for the world to see and know that this was the Texas Rattlesnake. And during his entire entrance, the fans were giving him a standing ovation. He then took the microphone from Lilian Garcia, who had just announced Umaga and Mickie's presences, and got ready to speak himself.

"Now, I didn't exactly come out here to do a whole lot of ramblin' around," Austin explained, "but first of all, I'd like to introduce to each and every single fan out here the opponents that Mickie James and Umaga of McMahonism (insert boos) are gonna have to deal with tonight. See, one of the opponents happens to be one of the hottest young Divas the WWE has ever had. The first thing you notice about her is her legs, but behind that is substance. She can manage, she can wrestle, she can work hard, and she's a kind-hearted girl the likes of which Vince McMahon wishes he had out of a daughter. (insert cheers) Unfortunately, Stephanie's only nice sometimes, while at other times, she's one of the bitchiest people I've ever met in my life, (insert cheers) and she even got knocked up by somebody that DX knows. (insert crowd laughter) As for the girl that I'm about to introduce to you here tonight, she hails from Baltimore, Maryland, which is kinda close to here, and ever since the Alliance days, she's been friends with old Stone Cold. She's finally found a boyfriend that's not a double-crossing wrestler, and out of the goodness of her heart, when she saw Vince McMahon's screwjob stable come to pass, she - along with our good friend Joey Styles at the ECW announce table - (insert cheers) decided to align John Cena's Chain Gang and D-Generation X together against McMahonism. By now you know who I'm talkin' about, so I'll just go ahead and say it. It's the Empress of Legs, Stacy Keibler! (insert cheers)

Now, as for the other person I'm talkin' about, this guy went and quit, walked out on WWE when his contract ran out. They wanted to deal with him to keep him around, but he said to hell with this, because he's got more things to do than to get de-pushed, interrupted every time he's tryin' to talk, and forced to watch some Dr. Heiny stunt where Vince McMahon pretended to pull crap out of JR's ass. And bein' the wise man that he was, Eric Bischoff called me to stand in for him as General Manager for a couple weeks while he worked out a deal with, um… that company down south, as Vince McMahon would rather force us all to refer to it as, in order for him to come back here for a little while so that he can teach the WWE, specifically Edge, a lesson. The guy Toronto, Ontario, Canada, he weighs 227 pounds, and Umaga: even though that guy you're a rip-off of is your half cousin, the guy I'm about to introduce has faced your half cousin before, and thinks that you're a piece of crap compared to your half cousin. His name, is Captain Charisma, Christian Cage! (insert loud cheers and a "CHRISTIAN!" chant)

Oh, but there's somebody who's gonna contribute her very voice to this show in order to help us get Christian and Stacy out. Christian's entrance music at the company down south is basically a generic re-do of a certain song, and by now everybody knows what it is. The woman I'm bringin' out here to contribute her voice is the singer of the band that did the original copy for the CD "Fallen", which was notable from back in 2003 as the CD with the song called "Bring Me To Life", (insert cheers) which if I recall correctly, was the theme song for No Way Out 2003, the show where the Rock, Hulk Hogan, and I all came back, ("what") Edge busted his neck before the show even started, ("what") Matt Hardy won the Cruiserweight title, ("what") and Jeff Hardy competed in his last WWE pay-per-view match. (:what") That song was also one of the many songs off the Daredevil soundtrack that were played in the movie. ("what") Anyway, as these lights are gonna fade, you're gonna hear what's been described as the most beautiful voice in all of rock music, the voice of the lead singer of Evanescence, the "Rock Faerie" Amy Lee, (insert cheers) sing out Stacy Keibler and Christian Cage to the entrance song "My Last Breath", (insert cheers) and that's the bottom line 'cause Stone Cold said so!"

And then, the very music theme that Austin was talking about finally started to play on the loudspeakers, and the lights went into that usual dark blue that now accompanies Christian Cage to the ring. Meanwhile, Amy Lee soon appeared at the side of the stage, singing the song as soon as the parts came up. Those of the fans that loved listening to Evanescence were beginning to go on a riot, as evident from the loudest cheers of the evening being heard right there. Meanwhile, the long row of pyro that used to burst out during Christian's first "At last you're on your own" entrance burst out now for the first time in about 4½ years, and the first minute of the song was nearly finished. Once it finally did finish, the pyro stopped pouring and generating smoke, and Stacy Keibler and Christian Cage finally appeared from the SummerSlam stage, being treated to major cheers as they did so. Christian scanned the area to look at his Peeps, while Stacy happily posed behind him with her hands on her hips. Soon, he started to thump his chest and point towards the fans, who burst in cheers at Christian's gesture as he and a waving Stacy walked on past the ramp. The duo then walked down the ramp, and once off, they walked around the ringside area, giving high fives to front-row fans, a well-taken gesture loved by everyone there. Soon, though, they reached the steel steps near the ramp, and finally used them to get on the apron, then crossed the ropes to enter the ring. After Christian got in, he held down the bottom rope all gentlemanly-like for Stacy, who crossed the ropes slowly, as Christian would probably say back during the E&C Dynasty days, "for the benefit of those with flash photography and a good view of Stacy Keibler's incredible ass". Christian then got on a couple of turnbuckles and pointed towards his Peeps in poses that were again well-received, while Stacy did a graceful bow in the same direction Christian was facing, bending over excessively each time. Mickie James and Umaga were currently on the outside, and they now knew what it was like to face a highly cheered-for personality at a major pay-per-view event. Mickie has sort of known it before, facing Trish Stratus at WrestleMania, but back then, Trish's title reign was getting tiring, and there was no McMahonism, so the crowd was behind her a little more than they were behind Trish. And Umaga was completely new to this kind of experience. They were both awe-stricken about it, but once Mickie saw Umaga pacing around the ring, she had to calm herself down in order to calm him down. Once the song was just about over, and Amy Lee stopped singing, though, Christian Cage asked for a mic and got one tossed to him.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to personally thank Eric Bischoff for booking that to be my entrance for the rest of my short time back here in World Wrestling Entertainment, and for agreeing to pay the royalties to Evanescence, for both the music and the young living legend Amy Lee's entrance here tonight," Christian first stated, earning many cheers, including from Stacy. "Now, onto a more serious note, Umaga, it's like Stone Cold told you. You may be half cousin to Samoa Joe, but I've faced him before, and he would completely own you in this ring. I don't care how many family members you're practically a rip-off of, and Mickie James, I don't care if you injured the girl with whom I completely pranked my old buddy Chris Jericho, but if I have squat to say about it, you will not pin Stacy Keibler out here tonight. That task will be reserved for her to do to you, because that's how I roll!"

As he was cheered on, Christian threw his mic down to the outside, and took off his entrance clothes, while the bell rang and Super Stacy took off her mask and threw it into the crowd. The Controlled Psycho and the Samoan Bulldozer finally entered the ring to face them, and the women started the match. Stacy and Mickie immediately locked up in the center of the ring and while Mickie boasted a small strength advantage, Stacy surprisingly quickly turned it into an arm wrench, after which she hit a hook kick into Mickie's face, knocking down the Women's Championship. She then fell down into a cover, to which Mickie angrily kicked out after the count of one. Stacy got up, irishwhipped Mickie, then ran towards her, only to receive a boot to the face and a knockdown for her efforts. Mickie quickly picked up Stacy and held her head as she elbowed and forearmed her several times into a right hand, before throwing Stacy down by her hair. Mickie then covered Stacy, but only got a two count for her efforts, which actually surprised and frustrated her for a second. After Stacy got up, Mickie kicked her in the midsection, and already started to set her up for the MickieDT, but Stacy countered it into a back body drop. However, Stacy's legs were within Mickie's reach, so she took advantage by reaching with her arms and taking Stacy down with what would be called a seated mini-powerbomb, resulting in the same cover as a sunset flip would. But before the ref could comply with making a cover. Christian got off the apron and pulled Stacy's legs through the ropes and caught her, dropping her gently on the ground outside the ring. After getting up, she actually thanked Christian before sliding back into the ring and tackling the complaining Mickie James. Stacy hit a few mounted right hands on Mickie before the Women's Champion managed to get up and turn it into a clothesline of her own onto Stacy.

Mickie walked over to the downed Keibler and actually began to bad-mouth her and slap her around. The distasteful display started to earn a round of boos. Also adding to that was a fact that had just caught the corner of Christian's eyesight: the girl he tried to hook up with in the Canadian dollar bet, Edge's girlfriend Lita, was making her way to the ring. However, this was soon followed by Trish Stratus making her way to the ring, leading to some cheers. Like Lita, though, Trish just walked, as she wasn't here to start a fight with the Walking Kiss of Death right now. By now, James had Keibler locked in a camel clutch. When Stacy managed to crawl over and reach the ropes despite the pressure, Mickie was forced to let go, but left her mark immediately afterwards as she literally kicked her out of the ring, where Lita was walking by. Umaga came into the ring and tried to go after Christian, and Cage gladly returned the favor, forcing the referee to keep himself between the Show Stealer and the Tribal Thugster instead of focusing on the action outside. Outside the ring, Lita was stalking away at Stacy, who was just getting up. Lita locked Stacy's face in, obviously getting ready for her leg-swing snap DDT, the Litasnap DDT. However, it didn't quite work out, as Stacy pushed off, causing Lita to fall flat on her back with absolutely no impact to anyone but herself. The distracting argument with the ref, Umaga, and Christian finally stopped, and Stacy quickly escaped into the ring, and turned around Mickie. Stacy slapped Mickie hard in the cheek, then pushed her boot into Mickie's midsection, backing James enough to irishwhip her and counter with an inverted atomic drop. Following this, she ran off the ropes and got Mickie in a hair-pulling jumping facebuster. Keibler then made the cover. 1, 2, and Mickie managed to kick out. Stacy went to pick up Mickie, but James countered by taking her over with a drop toe hold, hanging her on the second rope and allowing Mickie enough time to go and tag in Umaga.

This also meant that Christian Cage was to enter the ring adn become the legal man, a fact that the fans cheered for in what seemed to be riotousness. However, as soon as Christian entered the ring, Umaga was charging towards him. Christian managed to sidestep it, landing Umaga in the corner and leaving the Samoan Super Smash Brother prone to Christian's many rights and lefts. Cage trailed off a little to thump to his Peeps, however, which turned out to be a mistake, as Umaga was able to take advantage by coming out of the corner with a big boot as soon as Christian turned around. Umaga dropped his hips into Christian's chest three times, following which he tried to go for a cover. However, the referee didn't count it. Umaga got up and got in the face of the referee, who reminded him of the "women's fall" stipulation, only to receive further pointless protest from the Samoan Bulldozer until Stacy Keibler hopped on top of him for some reason trying to choke him out. Umaga quickly threw Stacy down in a high snapmare, which must have been extremely painful for her. Christian, though, wasn't about to let that slide smoothly, so he slapped Umaga in the back of the head to take his attention. Umaga then began to chase Christian, a chase which led him to the outside. Christian led Umaga running around the ring until he saw Lita in front of him, after which he went into the ring, ran off the opposite ropes, then came right back with Umaga on the apron, catching the big monster with a missile dropkick which sent him back first into the security railing. Christian was cheered for this extreme move, giving him a bit of energy. Umaga only fell to one knee, but regained his vertical balance quite quickly, after which Cage shot himself over the ropes for a cross body to the outside. However, Umaga caught him and rammed him, spine first into the steel ring post, before putting him back in the ring at the complete mercy of the fat Samoan who happens to be the latest in a lineage of great Samoan wrestlers including the Headshrinkers, Rikishi, and the three generations of the Rock. Umaga came in the ring, then bounced off the ropes and jumped, butting his head right into Christian's chest. It was a very hurtful move indeed, as it was intended to be, and the great Captain Charisma was now writhing in pain. Umaga picked up Christian, and clapped his hands into Christian's ears, following which he ran off the ropes and dished a devastating rushing roundhouse to Cage right in the head. Umaga then picked up Christian and placed him in the tree of woe, following which he backed up to the opposite corner only to run at Christian and dive for a headbutt. After he did so, Christian fell out of the tree of woe position grabbing his head.

Umaga, though, decided to take advantage, jumping in the air to drop a knee into the back of Christian Cage's head. Mickie was screaming at Umaga to tag her in, but the Samoan Bulldozer failed to pay attention. As a lightheaded Cage started to pick himself up, Umaga helped him up, then sent the Peep Man sharply into his and Mickie's corner, causing him to bounce off the turnbuckle with force, except he ended up in a seated position leaning back on the top rope. Mickie saw that Umaga still wasn't listening to her, so she came down off the apron and put her hands over her head while screaming in frustration about men or something. Meanwhile, Umaga attacked with a running hip attack to the downed Christian, jerking his head sharply backwards. Stacy was gasping at the apron back on her side of the ring, feeling very concerned for Christian. Meanwhile, Umaga got Christian down in a headlock on the ground, during which he would sharply jerk back every so often so as to keep Christian in the hold. While the ref watched the situation intently, he did not lean down to Christian to see if he would give up, because the decision has to be reached by the women, Stacy and Mickie, so there was nothing directly riding on Christian and Umaga's involvement in the match. Stacy, though, shouted to the crowd for everybody to chant Christian's name with her. She would then go on to bang her hand on the ring post three times, the Chrisian Coallition's "Christian Cage!" chants going right along with her. While ineffective at first, the chants soon did manage to make Mickie James angry enough to command the fans to shut up, as well as provided Christian with a little momentum, Captian Charisma managing to get himself, and Umaga by extension, up to a vertical base, following which he managed to elbow out of the hold. He then ran off the ropes, but was thrown up in the air by Umaga, possibly for that catch into the Wild Samoan drop. However, upon falling, Christian was able to grab Umaga's head and turn it into a DDT on the big man!

Both Christian and Umaga were down now, and the referee was beginning to make a stand-up count, but eventually stopped himself as he remembered that the decision had to be come upon by the ladies. While Christian was the first to stir and to start getting up, Umaga had much less trouble rising to his feet, which was the only reason he managed to keep Christian back from tagging Stacy Keibler into the ring. Umaga jerked Christian back by the leg, then picked him up. However, in the midst of this, Christian countered with a low blow to Umaga! The match was not no-disqualification, but again, the fall could only be come upon by the women, which even extended to disqualification. Obviously realizing this, Christian took advantage using some old cheap tactics.

Cage now got up, then ran off the ropes, kicked Umaga in the midsection, and then hit a Russian leg sweep on Umaga. After this, both men got up, Christian irishwhipped Umaga, and he dished the Samoan Wrecking Machine with a missile dropkick. Again, Umaga rose to his feet after Christian, but this time, he quickly clotheslined Christian out of nowhere. Mickie called Umaga's name from the apron, and he came over to her. She surprised him by tagging herself in, which now made it women versus women. However, Stacy would have to either get tagged in or forced in anyway. And since Umaga had just knocked Christian down hard, Mickie could force Stacy in, which she did so by grabbing her hair and throwing her over the top rope into the ring. Stacy rose to her feet after a few seconds, and Mickie hit her with a spinning back kick, which she followed up by running off the ropes behind Stacy and hitting her with a two-handed facebuster. Mickie then covered Stacy, who kicked out after two.

Mickie violently picked up Stacy Keibler and threw her into the corner, then set her up on the top turnbuckle and came up to the top after her. Mickie then went for a super hurracanrana, but the American Duchess managed to hold on to the ropes, sending Mickie tumbling down flat on her stomach. She did manage to get up soon, after which Stacy quckly flew at her with a cross body and took her down. However, Mickie was able to roll through, leading to a cover. As the referee counted, Christian got up and began to go towards the girls to do something, when Stacy was able to kick out Christian then went back to the apron peacefully, as Umaga already had a long time ago. However, for some reason, he left the apron and went straight to the outside, and walked over towards the area with the _three_ announcers' tables. Meanwhile, Mickie gave Stacy a backhand slap to the face, and Stacy tried to answer back with an open palm slap, but Mickie ducked it, ran off the ropes, and then took Stacy into a quick jump swinging reverse DDT. Mickie then covered Stacy by hooking the leg that wasn't close to the ropes, which turned out to be a mistake as Stacy put the foot of the loose leg on the rope almost immediately, and the ref saw it, forcing her to break it up. Mickie got up and complained to the referee, as Stacy tried to pick herself up. Mickie, however, stopped with Stacy almost having picked herself completely up, and was still able to get a front facelock in on Stacy, following which she screamed to the fans, then jumped high in the air, hoping to go for the MickieDT. However, Stacy managed to push off, causing Mickie to hit the mat hard again. Mickie, quickly got up to her knees, and then to her feet after a few seconds, before Stacy hit her with a high spinning kick. Mickie quickly got up, though, and quickly charged towards Stacy, who merely cartwheeled to the side in order to avoid the attack and piss off James in the process. The angry Women's Champion charged at Stacy again ,and Stacy evaded into a cartwheel again. This time, though, Mickie had charged right into the corner, and so Stacy came over to her and took advantage with a corner foot choke, which also showed off Stacy's incredible legs and evoked cheers from the male fans. However, the ref did make a point to shoot his DQ count off about it, and Stacy let go after the count got to 3, allowing Mickie to get out of the corner. Little did the lady apostle of McMahonism know, Stacy was about to get her… with an STO! Meanwhile, Christian Cage got a steel chair from the announcers' area, which drew Umaga's attention and prompted him to come down from the apron. As Stacy dragged Mickie away from the ropes, Christian hit Umaga with the steel chair really hard, shaking up the Samoan Bulldozer quite a bit. Stacy then hooked both of Mickie's legs wile flipping over her in a jackknife cover. 1… 2… 3!

"Here are your winners, Stacy Keibler and the new future #1 contender for the WWE Championship, Christian Cage!"

As Stacy's music came on, the fans cheered on the entire scene. The referee raised Stacy's arm, then Christian's after he got in the ring, after which the winning partners enjoyed a hug. JR and King made it a point to mention that now Christian Cage was officially the #1 contender for the WWE Heavyweight Championship, and he and Stacy would be teaming up again in the same kind of match against the WWE Champion and a woman of his choice, with the title on the line at Unforgiven. Stacy exited the ring in the same trademark way as she usually enters it, resulting in the fans excessively cheering. Christian slid out of the ring, and walked up the SummerSlam ramp pointing towards his Peeps as usual, as the woman with the most beautiful set of long legs he and many other people in this world have ever seen walked on ahead of him smiling and waving to the same appreciative fans in Boston.

a/n: In case you guys didn't notice yet, there's a lot of backstage scenes in this chapter, and I don't think I'll recede for the next one. Just in case you guys didn't realize, we're still in SummerSlam. I do remember telling you guys I was doing SummerSlam in two parts. I did this specifically because this is a big cross-brand pay-per-view event, which kinda adds a little prestige to it kinda requiring me to do that in a way. See ya for the next part of the Slam, peeps!

-P. Dizzle.


	11. SummerSlam Part 2, Into the Second Phase

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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a/n: If nothing else, I plan on this chapter being entertaining.

EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk, so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts. However, this time there's a small change in the order, since CM Punk wants to use "Blood Brother" in a match…

**Chapter 11: SummerSlam Part 2, Into the Second Phase**

Date & Show: August 27, 2006, WWE SummerSlam 2006

The four disciples of McMahonism, CM Punk, Maria, Lita, and Edge, were all holding a conversation in the hallway.

"Okay, so we know exactly what we're gonna do, right?" Edge asked. "Lita, it's your job to shoot Trish down in the middle of the match so that she can't help Triple H, or get in your way when it comes time for you to help me. Meanwhile, you two (Punk & Maria) will be directly responsible for the firing of John Cena, which each and every one of those Insurrexion morons is going to understand as the sign that their entire mission sucks. John Cena will be gone, the Chain Gang completely dismantled-"

"Stop it right there, Edge. I think she's heard enough," Punk cut him off, noticing that Maria was beginning to cringe at Edge's words. "She gets it. And she hates it."

"Then why the hell do you want her to see it live, Punk-ass?" someone retorted, prompting Punk to snap an angry look towards the person behind him, who he found out to be Trademarc.

"Hey, aren't you John's cousin and his rapping partner? What the hell are you doing here come bothering us?"

"Punk-ass, you know Maria's not ready for you to show off to her face how much better you supposedly are than John Cena, so why the hell are you gonna bring her out there?" Marc questioned.

"Because she's a supportive girlfriend to him, just like my Lita is to me!" Edge quickly snapped.

"Shut up, Edge. You probably got herpes from this girl right here," Marc said, pointing to Lita. He then continued, ignoring a pissed-off Edge "Back to Punk-ass. Be serious, homey, what do you think is gonna happen when you bring Maria out there and face John Cena?"

"Where are you going with this, Trademarc!? You better tell me now before I beat your head in!" Punk threatened.

"I mean, you obviously plan on bringin' Maria ringside so she can watch your bout. Maybe you forgot this, buddy, but up close and personal, seein' you two beat yourselves up on a major international stage like SummerSlam? That's only a good idea if you're still tryin' to impress a girl. And I thought you and her got together a long way back," Marc mentioned.

"We did," Maria managed to say at the same time as Punk did, she leaning on him.

"So what's the deal, CM? Are you back to stage one all of a sudden just because of my cousin? Cause that's not a good sign for your solidarity," Marc pointed out. "If you care more about Maria than you do about impressin' her, then you will take her away from ringside duty on this one."

"What the hell's your big idea, then? Take her to John's locker room, where you can be there to try and convince her to cheat on CM and be with Young Master Cena?" Edge quickly retorted in CM's place, resolidifying Punk's protest in case it was starting to shatter.

"No way. Get security to take her back to her hotel room. I'll be there to keep her company, but as soon as she's in the room, I'm leavin' the arena. You get to bring a guard to watch and make sure I don't try nothin' funny if you don't trust me, but she is not gonna be at ringside," Trademarc decided adamantly. That was when he suddenly felt a hand press hard on his shoulder. After a momentary freeze, Marc looked back and noticed that the person was indeed Chavo Guerrero. The fans booed on the Titantron.

"Uh-uh. Security? You'll try to easily knock them out. I know how leeches and thieves operate," Chavo said in his usual suspicious crap about evil people leeching on relationships and sacred family names. "So there won't be any so-called "armed security officers". There's gonna be a Guerrero in on this one. Chavo Guerrero."

"No way in hell are you doing this, Chavo," Edge objected. CM looked at him questioningly, then asked why, pointing out that he's better than a security guard because he's a wrestler, retired or not.

"Like he said, he's a Guerrero. That's why," the Rated R Superstar answered. "And Smackdown just saw him betray Rey Mysterio at the last WWE PPV, the Great American Bash. Trust me on this one, Punk. I know people around here."

"Oh, and you're anymore trustworthy? Last I recall, you attacked Christian after the first of your few reunion matches, and you and Lita being together is a sign of treason right there. And you know exactly what I'm talking about," Chavo countered. "Besides, you and I have both screwed Rey Mysterio after forming friendships with him. Remember back on Smackdown in 2002? Angle and Benoit vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge and Mysterio? When you won the World Tag Team Championship with Rey Mysterio? When you lost the titles, your team basically split, and then you ended up getting injured by Team Angle, you went to Raw, and the very next time you were seen on Smackdown, what did you do? You Speared Mysterio, that's what you did. So don't talk to me about untrustworthiness just because I'm a Guerrero. Because even though we may lie, cheat, and steal, at least we're honest about it, and we don't take other people's girlfriends just because we're bored with our wives."

"You're probably enough of a dried prune that you can't possibly get bored with your wife because you're already boring yourself," Edge retorted.

"That's enough!" Punk quickly shouted, before turning to Trademarc and Chavo. "Fine. Marc, take Maria back to her room. Chavo, watch Predka and make sure he doesn't try any crap. And if either of you pulls something, I'll get Mr. McMahon on you, and you'll be under arrest. I could beat you up myself, but I am in the boss's little family, and I'd rather stick to worrying about Cena."

"Okay, CM. You won't regret this," Chavo promised him, before CM released Maria to Trademarc as Chavo's care. The two left with her, on their way to exiting the arena. Meanwhile, Edge and Lita both gave a really careful look towards Punk.

"What?" he asked once noticing their faces.

"Don't tell me you don't think there's a chance that you just mightily screwed up there, Punker," Lita kindly scolded him. "Because I know for a fact that there is." Edge and Lita then walked off, leaving CM to ponder. As he did so, Shane McMahon appeared and tapped him on the shoulder a little bit, prompting him to turn around.

"Don't worry about it, man. I don't think she'll allow any more suitors," Shane reassured him. "She'll be alright. You just go out there, and I've got your back, and you focus on getting rid of John Cena once and for all."

"Let me tell you like it is, Shane. For the first time in the history of WWE SummerSlam, it's clobberin' time," CM Punk declared. "And when I step into that ring with John Cena, I'm gonna slice him and dice him up so bad he'll think he was just facing Zero. And whether I pin him with the Pepsi Plunge, or whether I force him to tap out to my Anaconda Vice, the end result is the same. As I come out for one match only to "Blood Brother", the production music that Christian used before anything else when he got here the first time, For the first time in the history of WWE SummerSlam, I get to look at my opponent and say to his face the two words that made your father famous: "you're fired"."

The Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton match was up next. And it basically went like this: Randy Orton called Brooke over to him after she came out with Hulk, and before she could come over to him, Hulk immediately got in Randy's face. The Legend Killer merely raked his hand across Hogan's eye, and Hogan started to seriously grasp his eye in pain. Soon, though, he just fell flat on his back. Randy went for the cover, and surprisingly, Hogan didn't kick out. As Orton posed on the turnbuckle, Hogan got up, ten seconds after the three count. When Orton saw him, he looked surprised, but then the two exchanges grins, then hugged, and Brooke came to the ring and kissed Randy while Hogan finally ripped off his Hulkamania shirt to reveal an nWo shirt underneath it. While Brooke and Randy then held their own conversation, Hogan took a microhpone and started talking about how he was sick and tired of the fans idolizing him while at the same time thinking of him as a complete ass, and proclaimed that he, Randy (who he described as the new shining gem of professional wrestling and even of Hulkamania), and his beautiful daughter Brooke would be the beginning of a little something he called the New World Order of Friday Night Smackdown.

A good five minutes after this farce of a match, Todd Grisham was at the interview area with John Cena.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm standing by with the man who is fighting for his professional wrestling life tonight, the former 2-time WWE Heavyweight Champion John Cena," Todd announced. "John, what…" And that's when Cena cut him off and took the microphone to himself.

"I know what you're gonna ask me. You're gonna ask me what I think about the fact that the illustrious King Booker, a man who I once beat in a five-man series for the United States Championship, is going to defend the World Heavyweight Title in the biggest match of his life at the age of 41," Cena jokingly guessed. "Here's what I tihnk about it. I think, that King Booker might just retain out there. He's got the skills. He can do this. In fact, I predict that King Booker can only lose this match to one man. And that one man: is Dave Batista. (insert small cheers) Anyway, off that, here's what you should be askin' me. You should be askin' me about the match that I've got up next wit' my job on the line against none other than CM Punk, the indies sensation who has now come to WWE to let everyone know once and for all that Maria is his girl, and to get me run out of this business so I can stay as far away from her as possible, just because… I'm in love with her. Well, if CM Punk thinks it's gon' be easy to get rid o' me, then he's got somethin' else comin' his way, and he's got it comin' bad!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on just a second here," Randy Orton suddenly cut in, appearing with Brooke and Hulk behind him. Cena then looked at him with a serious gaze, which he had to try to get off the Franchise's face. "Cool your jets, man. John, I'm not looking for a fight. I'm just here to tell you, that I can actually help you out a little bit with your little love troubles. As you can see, I've got one of the most beautiful young ladies in the world, and the daughter of a legend, as well as a very talented singer, at my side, all in the form of Brooke Hogan. Also, her father, the legend himself, Hulk Hogan, has decided not only to approve of my relationship with Brooke, but to take me under his wing and help me get the final piece of fundamentals I need to become World Champion on Smackdown. And let me point out, he's allowing me and Brooke to run a new nWo with him. I'm the perfect guy to help you out here. If you take my help on this one, you'll be closer to Maria than you ever thought you could be, and Punker's not even gonna dislike it."

"Well, as enticing as the offer sounds, Randy, I'm gon' have to decline on this one," Cena decided, much to the glee of his hometown crowd. "Thing is, I'd rather do things the right way, not the cheap nWo junkie way. That's how come I'm an untouchable warrior, and you ain't nothin' but a pretty boy."

"Wrong! That's how come you're an "honorable softie" who belongs in the minor leagues, whereas I am the future of this business," Randy egotistically corrected, before tipping his eyebrows as Brooke.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on just a second there, alright?" Christian Cage said as he and Stacy Keibler appeared and came alongside Cena. "Can you explain to me what in the living hell you think you're doing offering a deal to Cena when each and every fan in this arena and watching on pay-per-view saw that nWo crap that you and the Hulkster here just pulled on everyone? Because quite frankly - stealing a page from Edge's god, Vince McMahon - I couldn't care less what the hell kind of project you got going on."

"Well, whatever you plan on doing about your little situation now that your boy Cena's decided not to accept help from the nWo, dude, I know for a fact that John Cena and Triple H will not both win tonight," Hogan suddenly said. "I know stuff, and I hear stuff in the back. And since you can't take our deal, brother, I suggest you consider my loyalty to one of my 'Maniacs, one Mr. Edge, brother, and realize that you just wasted your opportunity to find out what he's up to! So, John Cena, Christian Cage, and even Nitro Girl Skye here, I have to ask you three one good question: what'cha gonna do when Hulkamania won't do anything for you!?"

"Hogan, Edge and I used to idolize you, but now that you're doing this New World Order crap with Randy Orton, all I can say is good luck on Smackdown and get the hell out of my face," Christian quickly replied.

"And Brooke. What are you doing with Randy? Don't you realize he's the worst guy for you to start with? He RKO'ed me and broke up with me in the coldest of ways, just because he wanted to show that he could be ruthless enough to take on the Undertaker and he somehow didn't think I _believed_ in him!" Stacy exclaimed. "I did believe in Randy, but knowing that he was facing the Undertaker, I was also _worried_ about him. But thanks to that RKO, and the way he's dissed Eddie Guerrero, I think he got what he deserved for it all at the end results."

"That was you two. This is us. And you can keep running your mouth all you want, and it won't matter, because you don't know about us," Brooke pointed out in reference to her song.

"We've got more to worry about than these mood killers, brother. Brooke, Randy, come on. Let's go," Hulk suddenly decided, before leading them out of the area. Randy made sure to sneak a kiss in on Stacy's cheek, to which she quickly reacted in disgust and ordered Orton to leave her alone. With his usual cheeky grin, the Legend Killer finally departed. John, Christian, and Stacy looked at one another, confused and weirded out and disgusted about what just happened, all at the same time.

Meanwhile, Shane McMahon was in the middle of the ring with a microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the future of the WWE, the man who will cement his mark on this industry by defeating and firing the former WWE Champion John Cena after just two months here on Raw!" Shane began, his smiling and cocky self being jeered coast to coast. "From Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 224 pounds, (insert minimal boos) the new tag team partner of the soon-to-be WWE Champion Edge, (insert boos) and the boyfriend of the beautiful Maria, (insert "wooo"s) "Straight Edge 24/7" C.M. Punk!"

The "Blood Brother" theme came on, and the fans were now at the edge of their seats, anticipating the entry of Punk so that they could boo him to hell. As soon as he came out, that's exactly what they did, while he walked across the stage talking smack at the jeering crowd. When he finally stopped, he walked down the ramp, then slid into the ring, got on one of the turnbuckles and thumped his chest with the X forearms. He then got off, went nearly on one knee, and threw on the rock sign, only a small section deciding to cheer that one piece of his whole entrance. This music died out, and then "My Time Is Now" came on, and the fans cheered all over the place, even louder than they had back when Amy Lee actually came out to sing Stacy and Christian's entrance. When Cena finally came out, he was practically a house of fire, running around all across the stage, fueling his hometown crowd. When done with the stage, Cena stared a hole right through CM Punk's chest as he walked down the ramp. Then, he slid into the ring, and walked around in it with the Word Life sign thrown up, after which he got on a turnbuckle and did his new trademark salute. Lots of Cena's Chain Gang soldiers did the salute right along with him as he did so. And finally, he took off his cap and shirt, as well as the CG medallion, and he was ready to go.

Cena and Punk immediately began the match be engaging in a staredown, the two frowning in each other's faces. The tension was so thick behind this action that it could be only cut with the sharpest of knives. This is the culmanation of the past two months, that CM Punk has spent trying to rid Maria, and the world, of Cena, and that Cena has spent trying to get Maria, and eventually Punk, out of McMahonism by virtually any means necessary. Sudenly, though, Eric Bischoff's music came on, and the General Manager received few cheers as he came out and stood at the stage with a microphone in his hand. Cena, Punk, and Shane on the outside, were all confused at what Mr. Bischoff was doing here.

"Okay, so let me get this straight. From what I've heard, earlier tonight, John Cena's cousin Trademarc and Chavo Guerrero convinced CM Punk to allow them to leave with Maria, their logic being that if Maria was to watch CM Punk and John Cena beat the living hell out of each other on a big stage like this, up close and personal, that it could pose some problems for her health, physically and emotionally. But I know that's not the only reason you did it, John Cena," Eric suddenly stated. "I'm guessing that from this emotional distress could come some kind of distraction which would allow CM Punk, _easily_ the most unfeeling of all three of you in my opinion, to weasel away with this match and terminate John Cena's employment within World Wrestling Entertainment. So, as a countermeasure that works even better for CM Punk than the original idea, we've got Shane McMahon introducing CM Punk to the ring and staying at ringside! And despite the fact that Cena wouldn't back down without a fight, I still say, uh-uh! Not gonna happen! John Cena vs. CM Punk w/Shane McMahon is not going to happen here tonight at SummerSlam! (insert boos) However, seeing as how John Cena must compete and win in order to keep his job, I'm not canceling this match. I'm simply putting up a stipulation that, McMahon or no McMahon, _everyone is banned from ringside during this match!_ (insert cheers) Therefore, Shane McMahon, either you get the hell away from my ring, or I"m gonna have security guards, complete with the addition of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, (insert cheers) beat the living crap out of you and throw you out of the arena altogether! Get the hell outta here!"

However, even through the swift orders of Eric Bischoff and the accompanying adulation frmo the audience, Shane McMahon stayed at ringside, complaining that he was a McMahon and was not going to leave because he could do whatever he wants here. However, those claims were soon dispatched, because coming to him from behind the guardrail were security officers led by Steve Austin himself. The crowd went wild as Austin & guards appeared, and then when he crossed the guardrail and was right behind Shane McMahon. Austin then put a hand on Shane's shoulder, shocking him frozen. Once he slowly turned around, Shane was delivered a Stunner! Austin then picked him up and threw him over the guardrail, where security handcuffed the second WWE generation of Mr. McMahon and carried him out of the arena! Austin and Bischoff just arrested the man who, in McMahonism theories, is the Son of God!

After Austin and Bischoff left, the bell finally rang to official start the match. CM Punk and John Cena both turned their attention right back to one another, except this time, their heads were butting and they were talking trash towards each other, before CM broke his forehead off from Cena's and slapped him disrespectfully right in the kisser. Punk then tried to come towards Cena to attack him, but ended up being taken down in a vicious lariat, after which Cena got in mount position and punched away at CM Punk. The referee told Cena that he had to break it up to no avail, so he was forced to start up his DQ count. Cena got up after three, then played to the crowd by throwing up the Word Life sign, before CM Punk got up close to the ropes. Cena took advatange and clotheslined both CM Punk and himself over the top rope to the outside, Cena obviously getting up first, he took CM Punk's head and rammed him head first into the announcers' table. Cena then dragged Punk and threw him over the guardrail, then went over himself, However, it was at that very point where Punk decided to take the momentum for himself, getting up with a knee to John Cena's midsection and a drop toe hold. Punk soon noticed that the referee was counting them out and had gotten to seven, so while Cena was down, Punk went over the railing, then rolled into the ring and right back out of it to break the count and force it right back to one. After that, he got back over to the barricade where they were fighting before, but before he could cross to the other side, Cena, who had just gotten up, lashed out at him with a really stiff right hand, knocking him down hard. Cena then became the one to go over the rail, taking the battle back to the ringside area. Cena took Punk, and sent him running into the steel steps right next to him. Cena walked over towards Punk, helped him up to his feet, then sent him back into the ring, breaking the count.

Cena then came into the ring himself, after which he picked up Punk, irishwhipped him, and met his return with a rare move on his part, a dropkick down to Punk's knee, immediately taking down the Clean Made Survivor headfirst. The fall was especially hard on both his head and his knees, so he was in trouble. Punk was now grabbing his knees, rolling around in pain, which ended up with him sitting up and favoring his knees, while at the same time trying to shake some cobwebs out of his head. Cena then ran off the ropes behind him and hit him with a necksnap, then covered him. Punk managed a kickout after the count of two, and Cena picked him up, then fired a right hands to Punk's head, a kick to Punk's knee, and a knee to Punk's midsection, before irishwhipping him. However, the Punker did managed to reverse the irishwhip, but the Franchise merely used this to his advantage, getting Punk with a running Thesz Press takedown almost immediately. Cena then stomped on CM Punk a few times. While operating under heel tactics because of his fueled anger, Cena was cheered for with each hit he got by every single one of his hometown fans. Meanwhile, Punk managed to get the advantage in the bout once again, when he caught Cena's sneaker during one of those stomps and managed to trip him flat on his back. Both men got up, but it was clear that CM Punk had the edge when he raked his hand across Cena's eye, then took him down in a Randy Orton-like inverted stretch backbreaker. Punk then covered Cena, who kicked out after the count of two. He then picked up Cena and hit him with an uppercut elbow smash, sending him back against the ropes. He then nailed an assortment of punches and kicks on Cena, which he finished up with a spinning backhand slap on Cena, which turned him around and sent him over the top. However, he did managed to land on his feet, to which Punk responded by hanging on the top rope while going down to hit Cena with a stationary baseball slide, knocking the Franchise into the barricade. As this was happening, the earlier stretch backbreaker and the even earlier statement Hulk Hogan had made about having an inside track on things backstage dealing with Edge caused Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler to debate and wonder if there was any connection tonight between McMahonism and the nWo. Meanwhile, it was almost time to completely roll all over the home.

CM Punk went down to the outside, then lifted Cena in flapjack position before dropping him face first into the barricade. Punk then got on the apron and came flying of it at Cena with an Asai moonsault to take him down! After both men got up, Punk obviously first, CM Punk rolled John Cena into the ring, then hooked his leg for a cover. 1, 2, and Cena kicked out nonetheless. Punk then picked Cena up, hit him with another elbow uppercut, and then with a snapmare takedown, followed by a dropkick to the back of the head. Punk covered Cena again, and the Doctor of Thuganomics kicked out again. Cena rolling over on his stomach, Punk then locked in a strange submission maneuver which was both an arm wrench and a sleeper at the same time. His left arm was used to wrench on Cena's left arm, and the right arm was used for the sleeper. The maneuver was a very tense one, and all spectators actually didn't know whether Cena was going to be able to recover from this or not. He tried kicking back so that his leg was under the rope, but the referee did not notice it, so he stayed in that painful position for what seemed to be like minutes at a time, wondering where his opportunity was coming to get out of it. He finally found a way, rolling over CM Punk so that Punk ended up underneath Cena in the middle of the move. That, as well as momentum from the roll, forced Punk to break the hold.

Both men got to their feet, and Punk went for a right hand that was blocked by Cena, who instead of countering with a right hand of his own went for a kick to the gut, then irishwhipped CM Punk and greeted the Punker's return with a sitout hiptoss. After Punk got up and leaned back in the corner, Cena took him and irishwhipped him into the other corner with force, knocking him down into a seated position. However, instead of seated on the ground, Punk managed to hang onto the top rope on both sides with both hands and seat himself on the bottom turnbuckle, When Cena came towards him, Punk kicked with his feet, which ended up getting caught. Cena tried to pull Punk away with his legs, but the Legitimate Sober-Man (yes, a _superhero_ style nickname for CM Punk based on his straight edge beliefs) was able to pull a Jackie Chan, using that momentum to perform a backflip landing on his feet. Cena, utterly surprised by that move, tried to go after Punk, but CM sidestepped, causing John to bounce off the turnbuckle, and giving Punk the perfect opportunity to strike with a falling reverse DDT. Punk then got the cover on John Cena again. 1… 2… and no way! Cena managed to kick out, much to Punk's surprise and to the fans' cheering relief. CM got up and started to complain to the referee, but not for long, as he soon turned his attention back to Cena. John was up on his feet, but not standing straight yet, so he hit Punk several times in the midsection, before bouncing off the ropes and being kicked in his own midsection by a quickly resurfacing Punk, who then hot him in a hammerlock legsweep DDT, which he called the Devil's Lock DDT! However, this time, Punk did not go for a cover. With Cena laying flat on his stomach, Punk decided to get him with a Texas cloverleaf with an armlock involved at the same time. However, one of Cena's arms wasn't locked, so he immediately grabbed the ropes, forcing Punk to break up the hold. Instead, however, Punk pulled Cena closer towards the center of the ring. Although the ropes on the side were close enough, the arm that was closest to them was the one that was locked, so Cena was going to have to reach around himself if he wanted to get to the ropes. Meanwhile, the arm that he was supposed to be breaking this up with, as well as his lower back and his legs, were being subjected to excruciating pain which would have possibly killed one of his younger brothers, and most certainly would have destroyed Maria. Maria… the girl who had earned the affection of both her boyfriend Punk and her forced-to-be former friend Cena. The girl that this whole feud between CM and John, the feud that Mr. McMahon used to begin the establishment of his religion, and by extension, the entire big massive stable war on Raw between the Insurrexion and McMahonism, unto the world, was happening because of.

As soon as she, and the stupid, jealous mistake that CM Punk had made about him and her came to mind, John Cena began to push, take the advantage away from CM Punk, bring himself closer, reach across his own aching body, pushing himself to reach for the ropes so that he may continue to fight for everything that he stands for in both the Maria issue and his own life! And finally, with every one of his hometown fans pushing behind him and chanting his name the way that that quitter JBL wishfully claimed that people chanted _his_ name… he reached it. Notified that Cena got to the ropes again, Punk knew that he could not let this opportunity get away. That he had to pull to the side, in order to ensure that Cena could no longer reach the ropes, and that the chumpstain on his relationship with Maria would finally be cleaned off. However, surprisingly enough for CM Punk, he found that it was impossible. Cena was not letting go, at least not before the disqualification five-count went past completion and resulted in Cena getting this match. So, he had no choice but to let go of the submission hold, and to kick Cena in the sternum, forcing him to get off the ropes and roll away to the outside. Now the situation began to get a little tense. Punk ordered the referee to begin counting, as pain shot everywhere through Cena. He struggled to get up, could barely get off the ground because of that encounter he had with the submission hold from CM Punk. It wasn't until the count of five when he got on both knees, seven when he reached up to touch the ropes, eight when he had them with both hands, nine when he began to climb up, and by the time he had both feet on the apron, the referee was _super close_ to 10! Punk immediately took advantage of Cena's predicament, stomping him several times in the spine, before violently picking him up, putting him in double underhook position, and hitting his Welcome to Chicago, Mother backbreaker! He then tried to drag Cena away from the ropes, obviously for either a cover or a submission hold, but knowing that he couldn't possibly be enabled to handle all that, Cena hung onto the ropes for his dear llfe. Punk, realizing this, ran off the ropes and tried to go for a lower dropkick to take Cena out, but when Cena let go and rolled back to the outside, landing on his knees but taking some of the hardness out of the fall by placing his hands on the ground first, Punk couldn't stop himself, and ended up sliding down to the outside! Cena then picked himself up and got into the ring, while the referee made his ring out count while waiting for Punk to get inside the ring. Punk got up at four, and walked around the ring to get to the steel steps on the other side near the rampway, then went up to the top expecting to be able to do something cool. However, before he had any chance in living hell to pull off a move, Cena was fighting through pain and running up towards him, making it on the second turnbuckle. Each man hanging on to the ropes to keep his leverage, the two warriors soon got to the point where they were both viciously punching each other in the face all at the same time. Cena soon got the advantage in that, and recognizing that he had Punk set, he locked CM into position for, and leaped off the turnbuckle performing, a belly-to-belly head-and-arm suplex off the turnbuckle! The man who made that hit famous ECW ex-wrestler and color commentator Tazz, cut into the Raw broadcast by exclaiming a "Holy Shit!", and exclaiming that he had never seen the Tazzplex done that well since _he_ stopped using it! Each and every one of these people out here, instead of throwing out a simple "CENA!" chant as usual, gave a resounding note towards Cena and a direct shot at all the smarks that called him an inferior or badly skilled wrestler, by giving out chants of "CENA CAN'T SUCK!" instead!

Now, this wasn't a Last Man Stanidng match, which meant that it wasn't the only way to win, but as evident from the referee's sudden count, that stipulation could still win the day in a standard match as well. Both CM Punk and John Cena just laid there on their backs until the count of three, after which both men began to make some forward progress towards getting back on their feet and continuing this match. Both men finally did get up, and Punk got in a right hand. Cena countered with a right hand of his own. Both men teetering on the edge of wooziness, Punk hit a right hand again. And Cena again hit one of his own. Punk then went for a knee to the gut, and managed to irishwhip Cena. However, that turned out to be a mistake, because Cena hit him with a clothesline. Punk got up, and Cena ran off the ropes and hit another clothesline. Punk then got up again, and again got clotheslined for his efforts. Punk then tried a lunge of his own, and Cena ducked and got behind him, but instead of using the protobomb used an ordinary high angle backdrop suplex. Cena then covered CM Punk, which only resulted in a two count. Cena then picked up Punk, irishwhipped him, but Punk countered and went for a clothesline when Cena returned, but Cena ducked it, ran off the ropes, and came back wuth his usual diving shoulder block. He then picked up Punk, kicked him in the midsection, ran behind him off the ropes, and hit the Throwback on him! Cena then made a cover. 1, 2, and Punk still managed to kick out. Cena again picked up Punk, brought him into the corner, and charged in after him, receiving a penalty called the high boot to the face. Punk then got out of the corner and twisted Cena's arm, got on another turnbuckle, and started walking the ropes in the same fashion as Undertaker's Old School maneuver. However, that didn't work out that way, as instead, Punk leaped off with a legdrop takedown on Cena! Punk then made the cover, but Cena, too close as he was to the ropes, managed to put his leg over them. When he got to 2 in his count, the referee saw it and notified Punk instead of counting the three as Punk would've expected. So, Punk got off John and picked him up in a way that his back was turned to him, then lifted him up in the pumphandle position, but before he cound change it into a belly-to-belly piledriver position, Cena wiggled his way out of this jam and hit a reverse DDT on CM Punk! Cena then went for the cover. 1… 2… no!

Cena then decided that the end was near, placing Punk in the center of the ring, before lifting his hands up and bringing this Boston crowd to life. He then came down to Punk and did the "You can't see me!" taunt, to which the fans said the words along with him, before running off the ropes, during which CM actually got up. However, the Doctor of Thuganomics seemed to anticipate that such a deal would happen, which he proved with a kick to Punk's midsection, followed by a fisherman suplex, after which he kept the leg hooked in order to stay in a cover. 1… 2… no! Punk kicked out in the end anyway. However, Cena seemed to expect that, as he didn't complain to the referee. A sound which sounded like a steel chair hitting something, then being dropped to the floor, could barely be heard, but Cena and everyone else there was too focused on the match to pay attention. Instead of complaining or seeing what the sound was all about, Cena started to pump up his Reebok Pump sneakers while Punk was getting up, and then forced Punk to his feet, following which he picked him up in position for the F-U. But while he had Punk set in position, while these people were screaming for the F-U to hit, another chair shot sound came, except must closer. It was the referee getting knocked out from behind by someone, who the people immediately recognized and jeered at. Cena ended up turning around right into a shot to his own head with the chair from none other than **_Chavo Guerrero_**, forcing him to drop Punk, and then eventually to fall down flat on his back. With Chavo's encouragement, CM Punk crawled towards a cover. He eventually did get on top of Cena, following which Chavo took the unconscious referee's arm and counted with it. 1… 2… no!

Someone pulled down the referee before Chavo could make the three-count. And that someone was none other than tha Trademarc, John Cena's cousin! Marc Predka just saved John Cena from getting fired and screwed by CM Punk and Chavo Guerrero! In response, everyone went riotous, and chants of "THANK YOU TRADEMARC!" and "THANK YOU COUSIN!", each joined in the middle by the usual five claps, were the norm at the TD Bankworth Garden. Trademarc then made it into the ring, and instantly confronted Chavo about laying him down backstage and laying security out in the crowd to try and come in to screw Cena. The two men in each other's face, someone took advantage of the chaos in order to come in the same way they did. That somebody was none other than Chavo's former friend, the first guy he screwed like this, Rey Mysterio! Mysterio ran off the ropes, and after Trademarc slapped Guerrero in the face, Rey clotheslined Chavo, as well as flung himself, over the top to the outside! He then picked up Chavo, sent him back over the rail, and went back over the rail himself, taking the fight to Chavo backstage. Trademarc then got out of the ring, following which Punk got up and picked up Cena. Punk then tried to irishwhip Cena, but the Untouchable Chain Gang Leader countered and greeted the return of Straight Edge 24/7 with a belly to belly sideslam, following which he did the "You can't see me!" gesture down to Punk again, ran off the ropes, and this time was able to get off his trademark theatrics, as well as the Five Knuckle Shuffle fist drop to Punk! Cena finally lifted Punk again for the F-U, but this time, CM Punk wiggled his way out of it and back to his feet, then rammed John's head into the turnbuckle before kicking him in the midsection. CM then went on the apron and climed on the turnbuckle so that he was facing the ring, then pulled Cena up onto the second turnbuckle bent over, then set him in double underhook position, about to go for the Pepsi Plunge. However, Cena got out of the double underhook state and hit a huge back body drop off the turnbuckle onto Punk. While Cena turned his body around, CM Punk struggled to lift himself up. Once both processes were done, Cena leaped off in a flying cross body takedown. He didn't stay on for the cover, instead opting to get up and to place Punk in the STF-U, without doing the F-U first. However, CM wouldn't tap out. He was not going to miss out on this chance to get rid of the man that the crowd was cheering for, and if he was going to miss out on this chance, it wouldn't be by giving out on himself and submitting to Cena's painful STF-U. Instead, Punk tried to crawl over to the ropes without success, so he decided on elbowing Cena into letting go. That was much more successful than the earlier attempt to get to the ropes, and Cena was indeed forced to let go. But then, Punk decided to rely on some tricks. He went over to where John Cena's Chain Gang spinner medallion was and grabbed it, planninhg to use it as a weapon against John. However, Trademarc wouldn't let him do that, instead getting in the ring, taking the weapon as Punk stalked away at Cena, and hitting CM Punk in the head with it! Punk was slightly busted open because of the spinner medallion, but he was certainly more than slightly knocked out. Trademarc then dropped the medallion and told Cena to go for the cover. Once he did so, it was clear cut and plain and simple. Trademarc counted using the referee's hand. 1… 2… 3!

"**Here is your winner, John Cena!"**

And to the cheers of the people of in Boston, Marc picked up John Cena, and embraced his cousin in the ring, knowing now that John was not going to get stripped of his dreams in the middle of their own hometown. Once the embrace was over, Trademarc lifted Cena's arm high in the center of the ring, signaling that John was officially standing tall. As soon as he was done having his arm lifted by his cousin, Cena somewhat tiredly climbed up on one of the turnbuckles and threw both of his arms up in the Word Life sign! He then came down and climbed the turnbuckle on the opposite side and threw out a salute. The fans were going crazy with how much they cheered Cena on during this moment.

Meanwhile, in the back, Rey Mysterio was having the advantage in the brawl against Chavo Guerrero, until Chavo suddenly hit Rey with a thumb to the eye, and the Human Highlight Reel blindly walked off and turned around right into a Spear from Edge! Edge and Chavo then shook hands and bumped forearms and started talking about a deal well done.

A few minutes later in the back, we were met with the locker room of D-Generation X. While Triple H's DX cohorts, who were watching The Real World, didn't seem to be caught in any of the hoopla of the SummerSlam event going on around them, the Game was beginning to get himself taped up and everything so that he could be ready to go come game time, so that he could defend his WWE Championship against Edge tonight.

"I'm gonna be perfectly honest with ya," Shawn commented. "That Svetlana girl is goin' nowhere with these people. They practically expect her to be the perfect 23-year-old or something, just because she's rich and looks better than most of the people in Key West."

"That kind of reminds me of someone really familiar," Trish replied. "But I don't know… I can't seem to put my finger on it…"

"You mean Stephanie!" Rob suddenly burst. Shawn, Trish, and even Triple H looked at him incredulously the minute he said that.

"I think you, kinda… broke… kayfabe there Rob," Shawn managed to jest in the midst of his talk.

"Since when have we been kayfabe about anything?" RVD asked in confusion.

"Helloo!?!? You just broke out with Stephanie's name! If Shawn let you go any further, you woulda told everybody who the baby's father is!" Triple H shot at Van Dam, catching Rob in the same complete surprise that he was in at the moment.

"Calm down a little, Triple H. Accidents happen. He just made a mistake, that's all," Trish said, getting off the green couch in the room and walking towards Trips as she talked.

"Yeah, well don't make it again," Trips warned RVD, though not stern in the nature of his voice at all. "I want to blow these jackheads away big time, and by direct referencing here, you may blow up the operation. But, um… accidents happen. It's cool, man."

"Thanks. But Shawn, I gotta tell ya, the sensation I get from the whole DX, crotch chop thing… it's awesome, but I don't know… it's weird, man," RVD admitted, turning to the Heartbreak Kid.

"I know. It's not usually your style. But hey, I'm a born again Christian, and I still went back to doing this DX thing. Even though I've done it before, I kinda get what you're saying," Shawn explained. "But don't worry. After awhile, the jitters'll leave eventually. It's cool." He put a hand on RVD's shoulder to help reassure him.

Now, the battle for the ECW Title was not one to be taken lightly. With weapons littering the ring, around the end of the match's time, Sabu and Big Show were both busted open. Sabu managed to counter Major League Chokeslams, and Big Show was able to kick out of an Arabian Facebuster over the course of the match. However, Big Show sealed the deal immediately when he countered Sabu's steel chair throw attack by actually catching the chair, then shooting Sabu in the face with it. After that, he was able to get in a Major League Chokeslam onto a barbed wire board, after which the fat lady sang, and the Big Show made the cover, got the 1, 2, 3, and retained the ECW World Championship.

Meanwhile, in the back, Christian Cage and Stacy Keibler were talking.

"Hey, Stacy. Now that we finally get around to it, I gotta admit that reeked of, um… what was that word again? Oh, yeah. That reeked of coolosity what you did out there against Mickie. I really didn't think you had it in you," Christian said in compliment to Stacy.

"Well, to be honest, I have to credit the dance lessons. I've actually gotten better physically since having to go through with that experience," Stacy explained. "That's another thing I really like about it, you know? It's a good workout."

"Really? Well, I wouldn't mind if you demonstrated some of those moves on me, you know what I'm saying?" Christian offered, to which she put on her usual pouting face.

"Christian, I can't believe you!" she complained. "I'm not gonna accept some proposition with you to be the next Edge and Lita!"

"Relax, I was just joking. Wanted to see what I could get out of that," Christian backed off, relieving the lady before him. "And from what I can see, I'm impressed. As far as substance goes, your reaction bites off more than Lita could chew."

As that comment sent her giggling a little, Amy Lee approached them.

"Hey, Cage. I hope I'm not interrupting anything here, but-"

"No, it's perfect. We were just talking," Christian assured Amy, cutting her off. "So, what's up?"

"Oh, good. I just wanted to tell you, about the deal I made with Bischoff," Amy began. "I'm not really looking to make alot of money off that song. I already did that, like, three years ago, when you still had that long hair."

"How do you know about that? I know you did a couple themes for us, but I never heard anything about you being a big wrestling fan," Christian pointed out in question. "In fact, I'm surprised you even came over here to perform my song."

"Why? I'm an artist, and I've got a teeny bit of free time on me these days, so of course I'd show up for my fans," the Rock Faerie explained. "Kind of like your, um… Peeps thing, I think."

"To be honest, I believe you," Stacy interjected. "Now, you were saying about the deal?"

"Yeah, you kinda forgot to tell me about that," Christian added.

"Oh, yeah. It's actually not much more than minimum standard for this kinda stuff. It's no big deal. That's it," she finally revealed. "The band is still getting along really well, and I don't think money's gonna be one of my problems. Keeping myself from getting increasingly racy as time goes on and making some kind of publicity stunt like that is actually turning out to be easier than I thought. But hey, it's my time to go now. Good luck with that Edge guy." After saying that, she shook hands with Christian.

"Alright, thanks. That Edge guy happens to be my old best friend, by the way. I gotta teach him a lesson. See you around, Amy. Take care," Christian said. The last part, Amy Lee said back, before leaving him and Stacy Keibler there. No sooner did Amy leave than John Cena and Trademarc suddenly arrive at the scene.

"Yo, Christian, what's up man?" Trademarc greeted, before shaking hands and bumping shoulders with Christian.

"Hey, man. How's the rap thing treatin' ya?" Christian asked.

"It's goin' real good right now, to be honest," Trademarc replied. "In fact, I think I'm on my way to do a show in a couple days. If you got time, maybe you could check it out."

"Trust me. WWE, TNA, my schedule's too full to go check out a rap concert," Christian declined unfortunately. "But hey. I just ran into Amy Lee. She was totally digging me. I mean, Stacy, you saw the way she was looking at me when we were talking, right?" Stacy looked at him incredulously, after which she, John and Trademarc all just laughed. Rather than yelling out in objection to their reaction, Christian only asked what after a few seconds, then laughed at it himself.

"Okay, that didn't work," Christian admitted humorously.

"Nah, man, it didn't," John repeated. "But hey, good try. You'll get me sometime, but Christian, I got three words for ya: this ain't it. Trademarc's takin' me to a party in town, and after that, I'll call it in for tonight. We'll meet you back on Monday, a'ight?"

"Yeah. Sounds good. Take care, dudes," Christian said, wishing the Boston cousins well as they were about to leave.

"A'ight. Peace out," Cena said, showing Christian and Stacy the peace sign as he and Trademarc walked off. Stacy then looked to Christian and asked him something.

"Another bet?"

"Yeah. I gotta convince him that another girl outside Denise likes me," Christian revealed. "But now that you know about it, I can't get you in on it. It'll be way convincing, but also way too obvious."

"What if it was Maria?" Stacy asked, getting a little curious.

"He'd kick my ass instead," he honestly admitted, no shade of anything mysterious in his answer.

As for the World Heayweight Championship match on Smackdown, one competitor was completely out of it before the match even began. That was Rey Mysterio, who, still suffering from the effects of that Spear landing him hard on the back of his head, was attacked in that same back of the head by Chavo Guerrero while at the stage making his way down to the ramp. He was then completely knocked unconscious, and rendered unable to compete. Kennedy was the first guy eliminated after giving Batista some good piece of work, and King Booker was put outside the ring, but not over the top rope. Undertaker and Batista had a really tough battle, seeing who was going to take who out, until Taker finally managed to trick Batista to falling out by using the low bridge tactic with the ropes. However, no sooner did that happen than the King of the World got back in the ring, and the Dead Man turned around right into a Royal Book End. He managed to kick out, however, and would have eventually come back to give him a Tombstone had King Booker's Court not suddenly rushed into the ring and taken a beating to distract Undertaker. As a result of the distraction, Booker was eventually able to get in the scissors kick and take the victory, retaining the World Heavyweight Championship. For the next give minutes, he and all the members of his court would go on a spree, walking around the locker room and yelling out the words, "ALL HAIL KING BOOKER!"

It was soon to be WWE Championship time, and the Rated R Superstar stood inside a locker room which contained Vince McMahon, Smackdown's Chavo Guerrero, Shelton Benjamin, Lita, the defeated CM Punk, and Mick Foley. McMahon was now actually dressed in a Kagato costume from Tenchi Muyo, so as to look holy and extend some sort of "mcblessing" to Edge.

"Now, Edge. Tonight, you stand here before me ready to unload tonight against Triple H, the WWE Champion who is representing the title in the worst way possible: as a member of D-Generation X," Vince began his illustrious speech. "Your mission tonight is very simple. Beat the crap out of Triple H, defeat Triple H, either pin Triple H or make Triple H tap, in order to become the WWE Champion, and declaw D-Generation X once and for all, so that McMahonism may reign supreme over the land that is Raw like it is destined to, and like it should. Tonight, the WWE title comes home to its rightful owner once again! I have endowed you with the opportunity, and with the confidence, and thanks to your dedication to McMahonism and to your own excellence, you have the power to destroy this degenerate menace! And by the power invested in me, the lord, master, and god of all sports entertainment, I now declare you, Edge, the soon-to-be new WWE Heavyweight Champion!" And all of the others clapped and cheered as Lita placed Edge's entrance jacket on him and gave him his shades.

"Thanks alot, Vince. This… this means alot. That you're actually taking the precious time out of your schedule to show me, the Rated R Superstar, the Artist of Awesomeness, the King of the TLCs, the rightful respect that I know for a fact that I deserve," Edge began his reply. "Tonight, even though my good friend CM Punk failed to defeat the Doctor of Thuganomics, I declare that with my lovely lady Lita, the Queen of Juganomics… (Lita elbows him in the arm) I mean, the Queen of _Extreme_ by my side, that I will defeat Triple H no matter what antics D-Generation X tries to pull here tonight. Because I have been mcblessed by Lord McMahon, but before that, I was blessed with my own natural talent and ability which is by far supremely beyond Triple H! He's a reekasaurus rex, and a complete child compared to me, where as I completely reek of awesomeness! I carried the greatest tag team in WWE history, and I will defeat the 11-time World Champion to become a 2-time WWE Champion, and to prove once and for all that I, the Rated R Superstar, Awesome Adam himself, am the best in the business today!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for EDGE!" Vince exclaimed, leading to clapping from the others.

"You tell it, Edge!" Lita exclaimed as the rest of them clapped. "You tell it like it is."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on!" Edge immediately cut the scene, before turning back to Vince. "Hey, Mr. McMahon, I have an idea for you. See, I was planning on doing something for Lita to show her how much I appreciate her sticking by me all this time even after the whole Matt Hardy deal was over the first time, by which she proved to me that she is loyal to me, whatever that means to Matt. So, if I win the WWE Championship, what do you say to putting Lita in the match between Smackdown's Ashley and our own Women's Champion Mickie James-"

"As the guest referee?" Vince guessed almost immediately.

"No. As the third wrestler in the match," Edge surprisingly answered. Lita looked completely amazed that Edge would do this for her, but he continued on. "See, I've been noticing something about her. She's started to train a little harder since that last time when she got beat by Victoria. She's rejuvenated. She's renewed. She's refocused. And the way I see it, she deserves this opportunity. And if you think about it, whether it's Lita or it's Mickie James, we'll know two things. One, Ashley will not win the match tomorrow. Two, whoever does win between Mickie James and Lita, we'll know once and for all who is suited the best to lead the Divas of McMahonism into dominance of the women's division here in WWE."

"We'll talk about that if you win the WWE Championship tonight. Now, Edge, it's your time to go! The WWE Championship match by which you will rule the school is next!" Vince McMahon declared. As the cheers from Chavo and the some several McMahonists filled the locker room, Edge began to walk and leave, before looking back at Lita. He then signaled for and told her to come on, and she followed him outside the room, where he was met by Hulk Hogan, who was just standing there with his arms folded. Hogan extended a hand towards Edge, and the Rated R Superstar put on an elated smile and not only accepted the handshake, but also hugged his idol and old friend as well.

"I'm proud of you, dude. You've followed in my footsteps, but you haven't copied me one single solitary bit. You're like Hulkamania was back twenty-one years ago, and then during WCW when the 'Mania got its first black and white touch: a new wave that's sweeping the world off its feet, and who has already swept one of the most beautiful girls in the world off hers," Hulk commented, praising Edge.

"Thanks alot, Hulkster. It means a lot. And I know we haven't talked much since that tag team championship deal back in 2002, but as you can see, I've been really busy getting rid of that Edge & Christian tag team shadow _that I created_ and becoming a huge, huge star all by myself, wouldn't you agree?" he boasted almost immediately. "And now, it's time for me to win my second WWE title and make you proud."

"I'm sure you'll be able to do this. And as for that Matt Hardy dude: I thought he was cool, but he's becoming nothing more than a whiny little manchild who can't handle the truth," Hogan said in dressing down V1 for the benefit of Lita and Edge.

"Oh, we know all about that already. And by the way, about Randy: make sure his ego doesn't get out of hand, so that he doesn't start treating Brooke like he's God's gift to women and like he expects her to be bowing down to him," Lita interjected, giving Hulk some advice.

"Lita, I hope you didn't just say that like you honestly think I don't know that. I know you guys know him well enough from history that you've got that comment to make about the guy, but then again, so do I. I used to hang with his family back when he was a kid, whenever I wasn't beatin' up his father, dudes. And he had some of that Legend Killer spirit in him from the very beginning, brother," Hogan said. "Meanwhile, that Triple H guy who I actually beat the one time I faced him for the championship, I know you can take him, Edge. Just make sure you watch out for that Pedigree thing he does. And when he does an uncrossed DX chop, you know that's what he's going for, and you either counter it right or you stay away from it."

"Perfect. Thanks. I'll see you after the show, with the WWE title around my waist," Edge replied, before he and Lita left for the ring.

"You think you know me."

As soon as those words, the beginning of Alterbridge's "Metalingus", were heard and the smoke started to fill up the SummerSlam stage, the boos began to fill the arena. Then out of the smoke came Edge, the #1 contender for the WWE Heavyweight Championship. And for once, he came without Lita, and for the first time in years, he ran across the stage and shouted stuff to the fans, as well as signaled that he was going to become the WWE Champion, at each end of the stage. However, as soon as he came back to the center to walk down the ramp, his redheaded girlfriend Lita was there, and they did their trademark dancing spin pose they usually do at the stage. Walking down hand in hand in front of disapproving fans. Edge and Lita both slid into the ring in their trademark ways, including the pressing of Lita's waist against Edge's face, before the Rated R Superstar got on a turnbuckle and posed with his arms outstretched in apparent glory. However, as he got off the turnbuckle and headed for the ropes at the other side, he was quickly interrupted by the words "Are you ready?"

And then, the music theme of DX, "Break It Down", by Chris Warren and the DX Band, started up, and the people began to go into a bit of a frenzy. Following the 23 seconds of introductory beats, Shawn Michaels came skipping out, and he led his degenerate allies Rob Van Dam and Trish Stratus to the stage. HBK, RVD, and Trish all had microphones. Letting the music run for awhile before it finally ran out, the Degenerates were ready to get on with it.

"Well, first of all, we'd like to say to each and everyone of you that this is an appearance from the very people you came to see, "the Whole Damn Show" Rob Van Dam (does the thumb thing as he says his name) and the people of D-Generation X, the single greatest force in the universe," Rob said in presentation of his team, much to the glee of the people.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following complete humiliation of a McMahonist-Canadian rude boy who thinks he's cool because he's got a jacket and shades will be brought to you by your friends from D-Generation X, who would like to inform each and every one of you, including the Edge himself, that if you're not down with that, then we've got two words for ya that Lita knows how to do!" Shawn announced, following which he, Rob, and Trish held up their microphones for the fans to say "suck it!"

"And now, we bring to you the man who is going to be delivering said complete humiliation of Edge, in front of Lita and the entire whole wide world, the 11-time Heavyweight Champion, the Cerebral Assassin, the Game, the retaining WWE Heavyweight Champion… TRIPLE H!"

And after that statement was spoken, the lights completely went black, after which one could hear Drowning Pool's cover version of "The Game". After around the first ten seconds, the lights started to come on in multiple colors as usual, and Triple H came out with the WWE DX Championship belt around the tights on his waist, his usual water bottle in hand, and his wrestling gear fully on. He started to pour the water on his face, then tilt his head up to drink a little bit. After that, he and the rest of his DX friends all did a crotch chop, setting off one spark of X fireworks, before he led the team walking down the ramp. Trips then trailed off to the right once down the ramp in order to find his usual spot, while his friends all trailed left to hit the steel steps. Once they were all in the ring, and he was at his usual spot on the apron, he then drank the rest of his water, threw his bottle into the crowd, and spat the water he had yet to swallow into the air, the usual spotlight raised on him as he did so. However, he didn't come into the ring yet. His three DX partners were right behind him inside the ring, and along with them, he did four DX chops there, setting off X fireworks on the turnbuckles that were basically next to him. They then got out of the way and went outside as he stepped into the ring, following which he got on his usual turnbuckle and threw an X in the air using his forearms. After that pose, he didn't get off, instead opting to do his roaring "I am the Game!" pose, before finally coming down and allowing the lights to come back to a complete normal. Edge was standing on the outside as most of this was happening, being comforted by his girlfriend Lita as he looked on in somewhat amazement. Now Edge got back into the ring, with his jacket and shades off, and it was time to get ready for action. The Rated R Superstar and the Game were finally gonna get it on for championship gold, for only the fourth time ever, the second time ever between just the two of them.

Finally, the bell rang to begin the colossal battle for the WWE Heavyweight Championship. Edge and Triple H, two men who have been allies and enemies, stared each other down in the middle of the ring, during which the referee took the WWE title off of Triple H and raised it high in the air as a signal that this is what it's all about. Once the belt was out of the way, it was go time. The two men locked up, beginning to jockey for position. Neither man seemed to be pushing either of his opponent very much at first, but then Triple H ended up taking the advantage, eventually cornering Edge thanks to his superior strength on this matter. The referee began his disqualification count, but it didn't matter much, as Triple H gave it a clean break at the count of two. Edge got out of the corner, and soon, the two enemical warriors locked up once again. This time, though, Edge managed to get in a double arm drag takedown on Triple H, after which he held onto one of the arms in an armbar. With the other arm, though, Triple H was able to swing and punch his way out of it. The two approached each other again, but this time, instead of locking up with his R-rated enemy, Triple H wrenched his arm quickly, causing Edge to flip down to the ground. However, he managed to get up and reverse it into a hammerlock, during which he kicked Triple H's shin from behind, then came off the ropes and hit a clothesline on the Cerebral Assassin. Edge then ran off the ropes as Triple H got up, and the Game tried to send him over the top. However, he managed to skin the cat, hanging on to the ropes, and then flipping back into the ring. He and Trips looked at each other, then approached one another once more. Edge went in motion to nail hit on Triple H, but was too slow, instead receiving a kick to the midsection and an elbow to the back of his head, after which Triple H had him in the corner and decided to give him a knee to the gut, knocking him down into a seated position on the floor in the corner. The Game trampled Edge's between his knee and the bottom turnbuckle for a couple of seconds, then got off and allowed Edge to lay flat on his back for awhile. Trips played to the crowd, performing DX "suck it" crotch chops much to the people's glee, while allowing Edge the time to get up. Once Edge did so, he charged after Trips, who actually saw it coming and got Edge in a drop toe hold, following which the Game slapped Edge's head around a little bit. This embarrassing and discomforting experience for Edge resulted in the Rated R Superstar's immediate exit from the ring via rolling out next to his girlfriend. Lita checked on Edge for a little while, then apparently upon his request sent him rolling back into the ring. Triple H went down to pick up Edge once the Rated R Superstar was within his reach, but once on one knee, Edge managed to get in a punch in the midsection, completely stopping Trips in his tracks. After another punch to the gut, Edge got back up, bounced off the ropes, and hit Triple H with a clothesline, taking the control back right then and there.

The Rated R Superstar then got into mount position and starting punching away at Triple H, before the referee started his DQ count. At four, Edge got off of Trips, and he had his angry face on. He rashly picked up Trips, shoved him into the corner, slapped him in the face twice, and then went on with kicks to the gut and forearms to the face, Triple H getting lower and lower onto the ground with each hold and each hit. Edge then posed to the crowd, getting jeered for his efforts. He then went to pick up Triple H, who pulled him down by the trunks, face first into the turnbuckle. Trips then got up, and picked up Edge, after which he went for a vertical suplex, but the Rated R Superstar landed on his feet, and took Trips down by the shoulders into his Edge-O-Matic sitout rear mat slam. He managed to hang onto both of Triple H's legs in order to get in a pin cover. However, the Game managed to kick out of it after the count of two. Edge got back up faster than Triple H and took advantage with a forearm down to the head, before going off the ropes and trying to get in a Spear. However, Triple H managed to sidestep it and direct Edge straight through the middle and top rope to the outside, where Lita went to tend to Edge again. Trish Stratus took advantage of this opportunity to go over to Lita and talk some trash to her, which got her to walk towards Trish confrontationally and to step away from Edge so that Triple H could go to the outside and get on the Edgemeister. Triple H picked Edge up, then went to irishwhip him into the railing, but instead, Edge countered, and it was Triple H whose side and back his the railing. And Edge decided to take advantage with a dropkick into the downed Triple H's face, smacking the back of Trips' head straight into the security rail. Concern began to develop on the faces of Trish Stratus, Rob Van Dam, and Triple H's best friend Shawn Michaels, as Lita merely grinned and nodded her head confidently in front of Trish. With Triple H sprawled down there on the floor, and the opportunity set for him to completely embarrass DX, Edge did the DX chop in the direction of Michaels, which prompted the Heartbreak Kid to try to go over there and jump Edge. However, Rob Van Dam was there to restrain Shawn and to make sure he didn't go over there and get Trips disqualified. It took awhile for Shawn to get the point, seeing as how DQ wasn't going to change the title's hands on this occasion, but when Rob reminded him that Vince McMahon would probably screw around with them for this, Michaels finally cooled himself down and stopped. While this was going on, Edge had rolled in and out of the ring to break up the DQ count. Laughing at the dispute between the two degenerates, Edge now suddenly ran towards Triple H and kicked his head right into the security rail once again. At this point, it could best be assumed that Triple H was out.

With fans right in front of him booing and actually trying to punch him, Edge laughed in the people's face and picked up Triple H, then sent him rolling into the ring. Edge then covered Triple H. 1… 2… no! Trips wasn't dead in the water after all! Edge and Lita looked at one another in disbelief at how Triple H could kick out with his head having been thrust into the railing twice thanks to Edge's feet. Once that little expression of surprise was done, Edge got back up on his feet and started arguing with the referee. At that very instant, Shawn Michaels got in the ring, shoved Edge, and then immediately got in his face for that minor case of assault he dished on Trips on the outside. The two continued their verbal jabbing at one another until Edge knocked Shawn Michaels down with a right hand. Edge walked away as the ref tried to roll Michaels to the outside, but he ended up walking right into a very difficult low blow from Triple H with the ref's back turned! With Edge grasping his balls in pain, Trips now had the opportunity to recollect himself and get back up to his feet. Seeing both men down when he finally paid attention, the referee made his Last Man Standing count, and as both men struggled through their injured parts in order to get themselves up, Trips was able to get up at the count of six, but immediately backed into the corner and grasped his head in pain. Meanwhile, Edge finally stopped grabbing his genitalia in pain and got on his feet and at the count of nine, but immediately came at the cornered Triple H with clothesline into the corner in order to take him down. Again, Trips was seated in the corner on the floor. But this time, rather than work on Triple H's head, Edge took advantage of Trips' head injury in order to do damage in another department, dragging Trips by the leg and driving his elbow into it. Edge then got in a side leglock, but Triple H was too close to the ropes, so while one hand still favored his head, the other arm was stretched back towards the ropes. The referee told Edge to let go, but the Rated R Superstar wouldn't listen quite yet. The ref had to go into his disqualification count, and Edge let go at the count of four. However, even after letting go of Triple H and getting up, Edge continued to work on the same leg with a few stomps. He then picked up Triple H, ran off the ropes behind him, and gave him a running facebuster. Edge then made the cover on Triple H, who managed to kick out after that, and Edge was actually starting to complain a little afterwards. He picked up the Game and then immediately went for a flapjack, without even irishwhipping Triple H. He then got back into a mount position and delivered six more cold fists to the forehead of the Game, forcing him to favor his head again. Edge then placed Trips in a headlock, after which Trish Stratus, who was now back with her DX partners, started banging on the apron and chanting "TRIPLE H!". Van Dam and Michaels caught on quickly, and they followed along in the tradition, as well as encouraged the fans to join in the chants. That wasn't a very difficult task at all, as the chants actually quickly encompassed this entire arena. Soon, Trips was fueled by the crowd and was able to lift himself, and Edge, back up to a vertical base.

After that, Trips elbowed his way out of that predicament, but instead of running off the ropes, immediately clotheslined Edge over the top rope and out of the ring. Trips tiredly came out after him, but it was Edge who got in the first right hand. Edge got in another right hand, but when he went for a third, Triple H blocked it. He got in a right hand of his own. Then Edge got in a right hand. At this point, the enemies were trading rights before Trips finally blocked Edge and went on a rampage of rights which eventually caused Edge to stagger and lean his head on the barricade. Trips then hit his elbow into the back of Edge's head, then sent Edge into the ring, after which he took a little time to rest. Shawn came over to check on him and ask if he was alright while the referee was making his count, and Trips nodded in reply, before getting on the apron. Edge got up, and quickly charged to take Trips off the apron. However, the Cerebral Assassin saw it coming, so he quickly got off the apron, then reached into the ring and tripped Edge up, and the Rated R Superstar took a sloppy fall. Trips got back on the apron and finally stepped into the ring, and once he saw that Edge was going towards the cover, he went to the opposite corner and waited. The minute Edge's face was in Trips's eyesight, the King of Kings dashed towards Edge and attacked him in the corner with that leaping high knee, then came off the ropes as Edge got out of the corner, and hit the Rated R Superstar with a difficult clothesline. Edge got back up, and he was taken down in a back body drop. Edge got back up again, and this time, Trips kicked him in the midsection and hit him with the facebreaker knee smash. Trips then covered the Artist of Awesomeness, but Edge immediately grabbed the ropes, which were unfortunately right there, so Triple H's cover actually meant nothing. Once the ref informed him, Trips got off of Edge and then picked him up by the hair. However, Edge immediately raked Triple H's eye and then practically jabbed him with a missile dropkick, then went for a cover on him. Edge covered Trips right there. 1, 2, and the Game still managed to kick out. Edge began to whine to the ref, until Lita came into the ring and tapped him on the shoulder, telling him to calm down. Once he listened to her, he came towards Triple H and charged in after him. However, Trips ducked it, and went off the ropes, only to suffer a spinning heel kick from Edge. Edge crawled towards the cover. 1, 2, kickout by Triple H! Edge then began to bang the mat over and over in a Christian Fit-like temper tantrum, allowing Triple H to get back up on his feet and walk towards Edge. Once the King of the TLCs got back up, he immediately could feel Triple H's breath right behind him. The Game then got him in a reverse headlock, which resulted in a reverse suplex! Trips rolled Edge over and crawled on top of him. 1… 2… NO! Edge kicked out! After getting up, Trips signaled for the Pedigree via performing an uncrossed crotch chop, sending the crowd into major cheers. Trips picked Edge up, then kicked him in the midsection, then put him in double underhook position, but Edge turned it around into a big back body drop, so Trips couldn't hit the Pedigree. Meanwhile, after both men got up, Edge ran off the ropes in order to try to go for a Spear, but Trips countered by leaping up with a Harley Race-like high knee to the head of Edge. Trips picked up Edge now and again tried to get him in the Pedigree. However, this time, Edge got out of it and leaped up for a standing pinning hurracanrana! 1… 2… Triple H isn't done! We're not getting a new WWE Champion yet! Both men got up, and now Edge kicked Triple H in the gut, locking in position for the Edgecution. However, Trips was able to spin out of it into a hammerlock, which he released to irishwhip Edge and give him a rolling Arn Anderson-like spine buster. However, right as this was happening, a setup was beginning to work itself into play.

Mark Henry was making his way to the ring, and everyone he passed saw him and booed immediately. As soon as DX turned around to see what all the fuss was about, Henry clotheslined Michaels and Van Dam onto the steel ramp, then even took Trish Stratus and tossed her into the crowd! Chavo Guerrero came through the crowd the same way once again and knocked out this referee from behind with a steel chair just like the last one. He then shot Triple H in the head with a chair, after which MNM (Nitro and Mercury) came down with Melina trailing behind them, and they lifted Triple H and applied the Snapshot on him. Chavo then finally lifted Triple H, and instructed Edge to give Trips a Spear. Once he was able to, Edge delivered that Spear completely hard, and then he went for the cover on Hunter. At the same time, Mick Foley suddenly ran down in his old Mankind referee shirt and, after Edge finally crawled on top of Triple H, getting the ever valuable cover as Foley counted. 1… 2… 3!

"Here is your winner, and the new WWE Heavyweight Champion, EDGE!"

And that's when his music came on, and as he laid there at the center of the ring, a spotlight was on him. Something was lowered from all the way up to the ceiling to all the way down to the ring, and that something was the real WWE Championship! Edge took it, and he could see that it had his name on it. He looked at it in complete glee and pride ,and immediately kissed it. Meanwhile, Lita, who felt so happy for him, came down and hugged him, then kissed him in celebration. For once, it looked less like a naughty two tongue tango than it looked like two lovers celebrating awesomeness. Meanwhile, Hulk, Brooke, and Randy came out to the ring, and they were followed by everyone that just arrived and committed interference. Henry took off the straps of his tanktop, Chavo took off their shirts, and Melina removed something from on the back of MNM's tights, and all of it revealed nWo gear! This was the nWo in coallition with McMahonism to help Edge win the WWE Title!

Soon, though, Edge was finally up on his feet, and before him were Orton and the Hogans, the rest of the nWo behind them. Hogan and the new champ Edge hugged each other, the torch having been passed from the Hulkster to the Ballistic AC once again. After that embrace was done, and the people were starting to throw stuff into the ring in outrage, Edge got on the turnbuckle, kissed the title, and raised it high in the air. And this wasn't the D-Generation X version; it was the real WWE Championship. CM Punk, Shelton Benjamin, Mickie James, and even Lord Vincent Kennedy McMahon in his Kagato costume, all came down the ramp and entered the ring, all shaking hands with and hugging the new champion in all his glory. Edge and Lita finally enjoyed a kiss standing up, and this time, they actually didn't care enough to make it look like the usual sloppy, throwing-it-in-front-of-every-fan's-face endeavor that it usually was. After the kiss was over, Edge placed the WWE Title around his waist, and carried Lita in his arms. CM Punk had no choice but to smile and laugh.

To him, this was the exact opposite of that son-of-a-bitch John Cena back when Punk made his debut. Cena was standing there, defeated, realizing that the girl of his dreams, Punk's girlfriend, along with the WWE Title, were taken away from him, and the ring was practically empty, and people were sympathetic. Now, the people were in outrage, the ring was chock full of stars from both Raw's House of McMahonism and Smackdown's _literally_ New World Order, including Hogan and McMahon, the leaders of each stable, standing in the same ring _together_ for the first time in a long time, and Edge had the WWE Title around his waist, and the girl of his dreams, his own girlfriend, kissing him while in his arms. To Punk, he saw Cena's distress evident in the opposidious state of Edge's glory, and it made him even happier to see his buddy celebrating like this. He even relished in how Jerry Lawler and JBL were rambunctious in joy while all the other announcers blasted the two stables and their little ceremony as sick. However, the celebration of the nWo-McMahonism alliance was about to be interrupted, as Christian Cage stood at the stage with a microphone in hand.

"Stop it right there, you dumb sons of bitches! Your little screwjob and love fest is starting to make me sick!" he shot on his mic, quickly shutting off Edge's music and starting the fans up into a few cheers once again. As soon as he saw this, Edge gingerly dropped Lita so that she landed on her feet, then got a microphone from Lilian Garcia.

"Oh, look who it is! It's my old buddy, Christian! The guy who I carried for nearly 20 years!" Edge exclaimed, grinning while he was at it.

"Save it, Edge. Like I said, this is making me sick. I didn't come here to waste any time. I came here to make a simple point, Edge," Christian retorted immediately. "And that is simply this: you and me, we're gettin' it on in tag team action. See, it came to Eric Bischoff's attention that your lord, master, and god, Mr. McMahon, was considering booking Lita into that match tomorrow between Ashley and Mickie James for the Women's Title and making it a triple threat match. (Mickie looks at Vince and Edge in complete shock) Well, Eric Bischoff, from what I hear, he's decided to make that booking official, so it's a triple threat for the Women's Title tomorrow night on Raw. However, that's not the only thing he did. That's not even the big thing. The big thing is, Edge, you and CM Punk are gonna get the opportunity to prove that you are both greater than me. It's gonna be a tag team match, "the Rated R Superstar" Edge, and his old buddy, "Straight Edge 24/7" CM Punk, teaming up together once again against the Franchise, the Doctor of Thuganomics, the Untouchable Chain Gang Leader, John Cena! (insert huge cheers) And his tag team partner is gonna be-"

"And, let me guess: after tonight's events the only man who could be important enough, frustrated enough, in rage enough, to be John Cena's partner to take on me and CM Punk. None other than the Cerebral Assassin, the Sledgehammer Villain himself, the former WWE Champion, the Game, Triple H!!" Edge interrupted in guessing, which actually sent the fans into a violent cheers. "You want me to prove that me and Punk are better than you by putting us up against the two leaders of the Chain Gang and D-Generation X, because they're the only ones capable of beating us. Am I right?"

"Actually, no. You're wrong. There isn't a doubt in my mind that that would work really well, but here's what works even better. John Cena is not partnering up with Triple H. His tag team partner is none other than… me! The Show Stealer, the Canadian Rage, "Captain Charisma" Christian Cage! (insert cheers) And I guarantee, you're not about to cruise and stroll in this WWE Championship reign, because that's how I roll!"

"My Last Breath" then came on, but then Christian didn't drop the microphone or anything. In fact, he signaled for the music to stop.

"And trust me. I'm not the only guy that's pissed off. I even know somebody on Smackdown that's pissed about all this, and my best bets are, the nWo better prepare for a severe beatdown, and maybe even a crucifixion, becaues the man you have pissed off is none other than…"

And before he finished saying it, he signaled for someone to come out, and once that person did so, the crowd went nuts, because that person was…

"The Undertaker!" Christian finished, before handing the microphone to the Dead Man and leaving the microphone alone.

"Vince McMahon, I should have figured that you would have some kind of sick, ingenius, innovative plot to bring Edge the WWE Heavyweight Championship," Undertaker declared on his mic. "But I never thought, in all my wild days, that the New World Order would reform on my brand, Friday Night Smackdown, and then get involved in one of your false religion's sick devices. And quite frankly, I am nothing short of appalled and disgusted at the display before me. Therefore, I will assemble a new Ministry of Darkness, (insert cheers) to destroy the nWo! This new Ministry will be assembled for the first time on live television this Friday Night on Smackdown! (cheers continue) And when we are finished, we, not you, Hulk Hogan, will rule Smackdown with an iron fist, and the New World Order will finally, once and for all, rest… in… peace!"

And this time, the Undertaker music that came on was actually the old music from the Ministry of Darkness days. With that, Undertaker did his usual evil cutthroat signal with his eyes rolled into his head. The menacing gaze of darkness in his eyes did freeze all the nWo and McMahonism members in the ring. The lights turned into Taker's usual eerie blue as he did this, and the smoke started filling up the ramp ,and even the ringside area. Taker then suddenly raised his arms up in the air, and the resulting lightning struck and completely imploded the four corners of the ring, thus tearing it apart! Everyone in the ring fell down hard, and they were all left speechless, including the so-called "holy one" of all sports entertainment, Mr. McMahon. Undertaker then retreated to the ramp, leaving his aftereffects to continue giving the McMahonists and nWo members a hard time.

a/n: Damn, I comlpetely enjoyed writing this chapter, although it did take a bit longer than I wanted it to. Unfortunately, though, I have to announce to all of my peeps reading this story that I honestly don't know when my next update is coming. What I do know is that I have to go to school again starting on Monday, and that I want to work on my Dragon Ball Z/Tenchi Muyo crossover story, _"Shift of Hearts"_, by getting in chapter 23, before the school year starts. So that will be my last update on the site for my whole entire summer vacation. So this is my last note for now. Peace out, peeps.

-P. Dizzle tha Grand Champion, signing off.


	12. An Insane Night

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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a/n: This is probably better than the real Raw's follow-up of SummerSlam, as well as its 8/28 event, as good as that seemed to be on a few fronts.

EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk, so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts.

**Chapter 12: An Insane Night**

Date & Show: August 28, 2006, WWE Monday Night Raw

This post-SummerSlam broadccast edition of Monday Night Raw began with the scene being inside the office of Vincent Kennedy McMahon, who was standing in front of the cameras with a beaming smile on his face while the fans booed at the sight of him.

"Good evening to you all, ladies and gentlemen!" he exclaimed. "Tonight is a supremely great night for me, for all my McMahonists, and for the entire World Wrestling Entertainment in general. It is the night where I, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, now introduce to you the man who utilized his own smarts, as well as the capability for resources that comes from being aligned with me, to finally restore order to Monday Night Raw. The man whose skills kept him into the match long enough for the opportunity to arise for him to win it, and because of this, he is now the new World Wrestling Entertainment Heavyweight Champion! I bring to you, Edge!"

After that, Edge got into the camera's view as Vince stepped aside, leading to even more boos. Before speaking, he held up the WWE Championship to the camera and tried to use the WWE logo spinner, before looking at it and realizing with a grin that this wasn't a spinner championship belt, but the real WWE Heavyweight Championship belt. Seeing that he was throwing it in their face, the completely pro-Insurrexion crowd jeered violently at Edge.

"Well, as we can all plainly see, order has been restored to the WWE Heavyweight Championship for the first time since Smackdown's so-called "wrestling god", that quitting bitch JBL, lost it to a clearly inferior wrestler in John Cena, at last year's WrestleMania!" Edge shouted to the people, grinning as he did so. "Unfortunately, there's way too much going on between the two factions of Raw for me to come out and do a celebration tonight. Therefore, next week, we will be having a big party in the back to celebrate me becoming WWE Champion! Now, I've got a couple of issues to address. First, is the World Tag Team Champions, Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku. (insert cheers) See, my very last match before the complete trouncing of D-Generation X which resulted in my WWE Championship victory at SummerSlam was a pinfall loss in a tag team match. And who pinned me in that match? Taka. Three weeks ago. And everyone out here knows the history I've got with one sir Matt Hardy is less than awesome. In fact, it sucks! However, last time I checked, I was the dominant man in our rivalry, which was actually the peak of his career, whether in mid-to-late-2005 when he was the biggest sore loser in history, jumping me from behind and talking about how Lita and I screwed him when he drove her away from him and basically screwed himself in the first place, or back in 1998 to mid-2001, back in the day when Matt and Jeff were a couple of young foolhardy chumpstains who obviously don't know the difference between a leap of faith and a lance of death. So, as far as I'm concerned, Matt Hardy and this Japanese guy who just decided to come back because he misses WWE but for some reason thinks that honoring the Meiji Revolution is more important than Vince McMahon do not deserve to be champion on the same show as me! I'm the WWE Champion! This is my show! These guys are the World Tag Team Champions on my show! Therefore, I will make it a mission to make sure that they lose the World Tag Team Championship before I lose my WWE Title, something will not happen for a very long time. And obviously, everything I've said here so far takes me back to the guy that I teamed up with, to the guy that I carried into the greatest tag team of all time. My old buddy, that chumpstain partner Christian. Tonight, it's Edge **vs.** Christian in tag team action for the first time since he and Lance Storm, supposed Un-Americans back then, took the same aforementioned World Tag Team Titles from me and Hulk Hogan. It's gonna be me and my boy CM Punk against Christian Cage and John Cena later on tonight. The very next week, it's a battle of the couples, as the true loving couple of me and my lady Lita, who could be the Women's Champion by the end of the night, take on Christian and his partner in crime, the one he worked with in what was apparently a practical prank calling Chris Jericho pathetic, the so-called "Toronto's Gift" Trish Stratus. I'm appalled at that nickname being given to Trish, because quite frankly, I'm a lot more successful than Trish. And if they needed a blonde from Toronto that looks like a million bucks, they should've picked me! Even Christian back when he had that stupidly long hair was a better pick than Trish, because back then at least he had a chance to be as awesome and as cool as me. Anyway, by now everybody knows who's coming out on top in those two matches. No doubt about it, it will be my teams. But as for the WWE Championship match, which I am equally sure about, there will be some changes to Bischoff's, Cornette's, Vince Russo's, or whoever's stupid stipulations those were. Next week, Mr. McMahon and I will disclose these changes live on national television. But as for right now, turn your eyes back to the ring, where a couple of my favorite Raw Superstars are inside, waiting for Matt Hardy and Taka to defend their tag team titles."

And, as Edge just explained, there were two of his favorite Raw Superstars, fellow McMahonists Shelton Benjamin and Umaga, waiting in the ring as Umaga's music played in the background. Then, Lilian announced their presences and what they were here for as usual, before Umaga's music finally died out, and on came the Chain Gang theme, leading the fans to start to cheering very loudly. After this happened, Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku came out, both posing to the crowd at the stage with their right arms up high, Matt in the V1 handsign. Hardy leading the way, both men walked down the ramp confidently and to the adulation of the fans, then slid into the ring and got on their own trademark turnbuckles, where Matt lifted his arms up in the V1 handsign while Taka just swung his arms up and down in motioning for the crowd to make some noise. After that, both men got off the turnbuckle, and faced down their opponents, ready for action.

The bell then rang, after which Taka and Umaga went back to the apron, leading Matt Hardy and Shelton to start the match. Matt and Shelton circles the ring, and then went to lock up, but Shelton backed out of it at the last minute. After a few seconds, he got ready to get back in position, but instead caught Matt off guard by going underneath him and picking him up over his head for a back body drop. Matt got up after that and received a clothesline from Shelton. Matt got back up, and Shelton hooked him in and gave him a vertical suplex. Hardy was down for awhile, so Benjamin decided to hop on one of the ropes and shout some stuff to the fans, pissing them off to boos as Umaga came down from the apron, then dragged Matt out with him and gave him a hard clothesline. The referee was preoccupied with Shelton's shouting, and then a discussion with the young black man, while Matt was picked up after the clothesline and rolled into the ring. Benjamin, upon seeing Matt rolled into the ring, immediately ditched the little conversation and covered Hardy. The survivor from Cameron, North Carolina kicked out after the count of two. Instead of complaining, though, Shelton Benjamin tried to pick Matt Hardy up by the head, but the Sensei of Mattitude quickly jerked his hands away and started hitting Shelton with some rights and left, followed by a spinning knuckle right hand, which sent Mr. Benjamin staggering back and bouncing off the ropes. Hardy met his return with an inverted atomic drop, then ran off the ropes behind Shelton and got him with a bulldog. Hardy then covered Benjamin, who managed a kickout at the count of two. While Shelton was getting up, Matt quickly got up and tagged in Taka, who went on the top rope and leapt onto Shelton for a diving cross body as soon as he got up. Though the move caught Shelton by surprise, it only worked for a two count.

Taka then took Shelton up and gave him an elbow smash uppercut, following which he irishwhipped him and then leapt up for a hurracanrana. However, Shelton managed to stop himself and turn it into a sitout powerbomb! Shelton stayed on for the cover, but only received a two count before Taka kicked out. Benjamin then saw that the Kaientai Kid was really put into a painful predicament from that move, so he hung up Taka on the second rope, following which he ran off the opposite ropes (where Umaga suddenly tagged himself in), and then leapt onto Taka's back groin first in a leaping body guillotine. Taka was then knocked off the ropes and was now reeling in pain, favoring his back. Shelton then mounted atop Taka's back and started hitting the guy in the back of the head with a few crossface right hands, then began to slap his head around a little bit. Taka, though, stretched his arm forward and grabbed the ropes, forcing Shelton to get off of Taka via the referee's DQ count. Shelton then got up, and he picked up Taka, but Taka broke off and began to hit him with several right hands. Taka went off the ropes, only to return and get caught in a scoop powerslam by Shelton. Benjamin made the cover. 1, 2, kickout by Taka.

Shelton then dragged Taka over to his corner and tagged in Umaga, after which the Samoan Bulldozer came in and gave Taka a quick legdrop. He then went for a cover, but Taka managed to kick out. Umaga then picked up Taka and scooped him up, placing him in the tree of woe afterwards. Umaga then walked towards the opposite corner and tried to attack Matt Hardy, but Matt got off the apron before he could do that. Umaga then charged right back towards where he had Taka, then threw himself forward for a diving headbutt into the prone Taka's head. He fell down clutching his head in pain, and then Umaga covered him putting a forearm over his head and arms instead of hooking a leg. However, the referee did not count, because Matt Hardy wisely had gotten into the ring and taken the referee's attention beforehand. Shelton pointed the situation out to Umaga, who then got up and immediately went towards Matt Hardy. Seeing Umaga come his way, Matt got the referee away from him, then came at Umaga with rights and lefts to the face, before Umaga roughly pie-faced him right down to the ground, then kicked him into rolling out. Taka was just beginning to get up, so Umaga picked him up and, quickly showing dominance over the Japanese veteran cruiserweight, bieled him all the way to the other side of the ring. He then came over to Shelton Benjamin and tagged him in as Taka writhed in pain and started to pick himself up, heading towards the corner so that he could pick himself up and lean back a bit to recouperate himslelf. However, as soon as he was laying in the corner, Shelton came towards him and leaped forward to hit him with a Stinger splash. However, instead of coming forward and leaving himself prone to a follow-up attack, Taka just fell down. Shelton took advantage, dragging him away from the ropes and getting him in a leglock in the middle of the ring. However, Matt Hardy got on the turnbuckle, screamed out doing the V1 sign with both hands, then leapt off for a high Downfall leg drop onto Shelton to break it up! Matt was then immediately confronted by the referee as soon as he got up, but instead of getting out of the ring immediately, he took Taka and placed him on top of Shelton, then got out. The ref then began to pay attention to that play. 1… 2… no! Shelton managed a kickout!

After this turn of events, both men got up, Shelton went for a right hand but was immediately blocked by Taka. Michinoku followed up with a right hand of his own, then Shelton tried to come back with a kick, but was blocked. Taka then rolled him by the leg, which was a big mistake, because it ended up resulting in the Dragon Whip! However, right before falling down, Taka managed to tag in Matt Hardy, who immediately came into the ring and hit Shelton with a hard right hand, knocking the Son of South Carolina down. Umaga then came into the ring, but with a spinning knuckle right hand, Hardy shook him up a little bit, but failed to knock him down. Matt turned around, Shelton was up, so Matt irishwhipped him into the same corner Umaga was in, then came after them in a splash, which pretty much squshed both guys. Matt then irishwhipped Shelton into the opposite corner and walked toward him, before hearing Umaga scream as the Samoan Bulldozer charged his way. Matt managed to sidestep Umaga, who ended up squashing Shelton in the corner! Matt Hardy took advantage of the confusion now by going over to Umaga and dropkicking him into the ropes. However, he hung onto the ropes instead of going over. Hardy ran off the opposite ropes, then clotheslined the Samoan Bulldozer, as well as took himself, over the top rope and to the outside. Hardy, though, managed to get up first, then got into the ring. By now, Taka was up, and did not even bother waiting for Umaga to get up outside the ring. Rather, he flung himself over the top onto Umaga while he was still down! Meanwhile, Matt picked up Shelton, but right after that, he received a lower dropkick from Shelton. Shelton then made the cover on Matt Hardy. 1, 2, kickout. Shelton then argued with the referee, trying to say it was a three-count. As soon as he was done with this arguing, however, Matt was getting up. Shelton hastened that process, then got Matt into T-Bone position. However, he couldn't get it off, because with two elbows to the side of the head, Matt broke away. He then hooked Shelton's arm, placed his arms around Shelton's head, then leapt forward in the Side Effect! Hardy got up, and started signaling to the fans that he was stalking away at Mr. Benjamin. As soon as Shelton got up, Matt kicked him in the midsection, hooked him into a front facelock, and signaled for the Twist of Fate, but never got it off, because Shelton pushed off after he got off the ground! Matt fell flat on his back as a result. After Matt got up, Shelton then got him in an Exploder suplex! Shelton went for the cover. 1… 2… no! Hardy managed a kickout!

Shelton then picked up Matt Hardy and tried to go for the T-Bone again, but Matt tripped him in the back with a little legsweep action to get out of it. After that, the Indestructible Soul stood and waited for Shelton to get halfway up. As soon as he did, Matt got him in a front facelock, signaled, and then finally hit the Twist of Fate! With Taka and Umaga just getting up, Matt covered Shelton Benjamin. 1… 2… 3!

"Here are your winners, and still the World Tag Team Champions, Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku!"

As Matt Hardy's music went on, he got up and began to celebrate that very fact, getting his hand raised by the referee. Taka, who got up before Umaga did, got into the ring and joined Matt in the tradition, after which the two men hugged and then got on the ropes and raised one arm each up high. However, the crowd began to stir in a weird way, the cause of which was revealed when Matt turned around and immediately received a Spear from his old enemy, WWE Champion "the Rated R Superstar" Edge! Taka saw Edge and tried to go after him, which he did indeed do with a few rights, but as soon as he ran off the ropes, Taka was greeted with a harsh low kick, then was dealt the Edgecution! Edge, with street clothes on and the WWE Championship around his waist, then got onto the turnbuckle and posed cockily, happily smiling as the fans jeered him straight to hell. Lita came down and entered the ring at this very point in time. When Edge finally came off the turnbuckle, he could see her looking down at the WWE Title around his waist with a proud and admiring smile. Edge then started to pat the belt and smile himself, before the two lovers finally hugged and kissed in the middle of the ring, the crowd's boos and Jim Ross's mouth telling them to please get a room. Edge's music came on, and after looking down at Matt and Taka an extra second, he and Lita left the ring and walked back up the ramp, smiling at their actions.

D-Generation X was watching inside their locker room and commentating on the issue.

"That was a pretty damn awesome tag match. Matt Hardy just inspired me to be one of his fans," Triple H commented.

"He did?" Shawn Michaels asked, seemingly confused. "But I thought we were already his allies!"

"That's right. Allies. As in, we're working with the guy to get the better of Vince McMahon. Now I actually like the guy because he and the Japanese kid did pretty well against Shelton and Umaga," Trips replied.

"You mean you seriously didn't expect that?" Rob Van Dam asked curiously. "I knew Matt Hardy was capable of getting the job done. But what I can't believe that sorespot Edge decided to come out and ruin a good moment just to showcase his finishing moves."

"That's just Edge. He's a chump like that, so I wasn't completely surprised," Trish Stratus pointed out. "But Lita just came in there to admire his title and then to make out with him. Do you see how much of a slut she is? I really want to whoop that trick."

"Trishie…" Trips started, but immediately stopped himself in uncertainty over what to say for a few seconds. "…h-here's the, uh, thing about you whooping that trick. See, we all know that's gonna happen. The only question, is how embarrassed will she be by then?"

"Yeah, considering how fake she is," Shawn started, "I seriously wonder how she lives with herself, y'know? She claims that she and Edge both love each other, yet… yet he uses her like a piece of crap!"

"Yeah, and the way she throws on that fake smile anyway, I just love it. It makes her look completely hot!" Rob stated, before the rest of DX looked at him incredulously, giving him a small moment of shame. "Well, it's true! And just because it is, that doesn't mean I don't know how, um… "different" this is. I used to work with her back in ECW, and after the whole Alliance thing went down the drain, I used to hang out with Team Xtreme. I know the real Lita better than anyone."

"What do you mean you know her better than anyone? The 3 Xtreme know her better than anyone. And even if you don't count them, who has she had her most storied rivalry and friendship with over her entire career?" Trish asked in objection.

"I don't know. Shawn, could you help me out here?" Rob asked the Showstopper.

"How am I supposed to help you? I was retired when she first got here!" Shawn immediately complained, removing himself from this.

"I'm pretty sure it was, um…" Trips stopped himself mid-sentence.

"Me!" Trish instantly burst. "I can't believe you forgot that! You guys are not very good friends."

"Sorry, Trish," Rob apologized. "But hey… you're still gonna whoop her. Don't worry. I have all the faith in the world in you."

"Now, that. That is something that Shawn would say," Trips pointed out. Michaels put his hands up in seemingly conceding fashion, but then went on to say something.

"Next week, it's gonna be Edge and Vince McMahon's WWE Championship celebration. So, guys, Hunter, Rob, Trish: I think we should make ourselves a grand entrance to congratulate the champ on his glorious achievement…"

Candice Michelle's music came on, and out came the GoDaddy Woman, doing her usual seductive poses and receiving only a few cheers from some men. She walked down the ramp to the beat of her song with the same jacket around her wrestling clothes, then went to the right and stood at the usual spot on the apron, before "sexily" taking off her entrance jacket, then coming into the ring and doing her GoDaddy pose. After her music died out, Victoria's music came on and drove the crowd nuts, after which the Vicious Vixen came out and walked straight towards the ring, high-fiving fans on her right as she did so. She then got up the steel steps and crossed the ropes to enter the ring, following which she raised her arms high in her usual way, receiving a huge pop as she did this and as she leaned on the ropes behind her afterwards. Then, her music died out, and she was _finally_ standing face to face with Candice. The bitch who practically forced a statute of limitations on her to no end.

Candice was tentative to lock up with Victoria, who was ordering her fiercely to come on. Finally, Candice did lock up with Victoria, but was easily outpowered and sent into the corner, after which Victoria got off for a clean break, but made sure to leave a calling card as she did so in the form of the most vicious woman's slap Candice ever imagined she could feel in her life. After that slap, Victoria picked up Candice, irishwhipped her, and issued her a huge back body drop. After that, instead of returning to the ring, Candice rolled out of the ring to recollect herself. Walking around the ring, Candice was begged to come in by an angry Victoria, then realized that this was not going to end well, so she just blew it off, walked away, and let the referee count her out. Once his count reached ten, he ordered the bellringer to ring the bell.

"Here is your winner by countout, Victoria!"

Victoria was named the winner, and her hand was raised, and her music played loudly, but neither she nor the fans were satisfied with how it happened at all. Candice merely walked, chickened, away from the match. However, again, the crowd stirred in a weird way. Victoria would yell and demand for Candice to get back out there, but unfortunately for her, the request would not get heeded. Instead, she would end up being forcibly turned around, kicked in the midsection, and his with a leg swing snap DDT, all courtesy of Lita! Now Victoria's music stopped, and as the crowd jeered raucously, Lita held an evil smirk on her face as she loomed over Victoria, and Lita's music now played on the arena loudspeakers. She then came down to Victoria in order to talk some trash to her, in the midst of which Trish Stratus was leading D-Generation X down the ramp! Lita saw them and immediately ran away, getting out of the ring and jumping over the guardrail so as to return to the backstage area through the crowd. The DX music came on as Trish and DX stood strong in the ring and were treated like heroes by the cheering fans, then lined up across the ring and performed cross chops, resulting in X fireworks hitting the ring each time.

A few minutes later in the back, Eric Bischoff was talking to somebody on the phone, when John Cena burst into his locker room, not looking or feeling too good about what just happened.

"Hey, Eric. You saw what just happened, right man? Candice just went and chickened out of a match, and then, that ho - Lita - just jumped Victoria! And I can guarantee you, as mad as I am about that crappy lil' move by Darth McMahon and his people, Victoria's gotta be the maddest. You need to give her a shot to get her hands on someone!" Cena shouted, interrupting Bischoff's call. Eric said to the person he was talking to that he would have to call them later, then hung up, before turning to Cena.

"John, I know the Chain Gang is as pissed off as anyone here about all this, but I guarantee you, this problem will be handled. In the next two weeks, there will be a series of tag team matches between the Divas. Next week, it will be Victoria and Stacy Keibler against against Candice Michelle and Mickie James. And in two weeks, on the last Raw before Unforgiven, there's gonna be another tag team match. Victoria will then team with Trish Stratus against Candice and Lita. I think that'll do nicely, don't you?"

"Yeah, that works. Now I gotta get this news to the others. Victoria's gon' be real happy. Thanks," Cena said, before turning around and walking out the door. He didn't even seem to hear Eric's reply of "No problem." Anyway, Cena closed the door behind him, Bischoff then got back on his cellphone and continued talking to one of his pals, hyping up the show.

Meanwhile, Cena was walking away from the office, when he found Matt Hardy and Taka walking next to a slightly shaken Victoria.

"Hey, Vic. You got a couple tag matches in the next two weeks, and they're both against Candice. The second match, her partner's Lita," Cena reported.

"Yes!" Victoria suddenly shouted. "This time, I don't think anyone's gonna run away. Finally, I get a chance at payback!"

"What about Edge?" Taka asked.

"Yeah, that pathetic friend-screwing bastard "Champion" beat up on us right after we had a tough match with Shelton and Umaga. He seriously needs to be taught a major lesson. **Again,**" Matt stated.

"Don't worry about Edge," someone suddenly said. The group turned around and was met by Christian Cage, who then continued. "We'll be able to give him a piece of major medicine tonight. Dr. Cena and I have got a couple of diseases to cure tonight anyway, and he happens to be one of them."

Somewhere shortly after that, "Be Yourself" by Audioslave came on, and Smackdown's Ashley Massaro came out to a good reaction and waved to the fans while walking down the Raw ramp for the first time since her first injury as a WWE Superstar. Finally, Ashley came down the ramp, high-fiving fans. She then got into the ring via the steps and ropes, then got on the turnbuckle and threw up the rock sign, receiving some cheers. Then, Lita's music theme, "Lovefurypassionenergy" by 6 Boy Hits Car, came on, and Lita came out once again, although by herself, to one of the worst receptions of the night. She walked down the ramp, smiling proudly, and talking some smack to some fans near her who were calling her a slut. Once down the ramp, she slid into the ring, then got up the way she usually does, before going on the same turnbuckle Ashley got on and raising one arm confidently, receiving boos for this. After this, Mickie James' music came on, and the young Women's Champion came down the ramp to a quiet yet clear mixed reaction, jumping around and skipping down the ramp as usual. After this, she slid into the ring and got on the turnbuckle, throwing her arms up and screaming as she received few cheers for this, before she leaped down, and the three girls readied themselves for a Women's Championship encounter. Mickie and Lita were closer to one another than Ashley.

Despite being in what seemed to be a handicap situation, Ashley came straight towards Lita, then redirected herself Mickie's way when she came closer, and shoved Mickie aside, before getting straight in Lita's face. It was clear in the words she spoke that it had something to do with Matt Hardy. The two women then got into a heated exchange, which resulted in Lita shoving and slapping Ashley, who almost immedaitely came back with a double leg takedown and began punching away at Lita in a mount position. However, this was when Mickie James finally struck, pulling Ashley back by the hair and taking her down. She then started to stomp away at Ashley while Lita got up, and joined her soon after. After that, both women picked up Ashley and nailed her with a double team sideslam. After this, James picked up Ashley, and Lita hit her with a Russian legsweep, after which she did a flip over Ashley and then hit her with several rights. After this, Lita got up, and both girls looked down upon Ashley, stalking away at her with confidence. Lita soon stepped forward and started to stomp Ashley out of the ring, until Mickie James suddenly dragged Lita and sent her over the top! As she was actually cheered for this tricky move, Mickie then rushed over to Ashley, dragged her back in before she could fall to the outside, and then hooked her leg in a cover. 1, 2, Ashley kicked out. She could've easily grabbed the bottom rope, but that's what inexperience does to a person. Mickie then picked up Ashley, gave her a spin kick in the midsection, a high kick which hit both the chest (via the boot) and the face (via the knee), and then went for a high spin kick which knocked Ashley right back down. The girls now further away from the ropes, Mickie covered Ashley, and the girl kicked out.

It was at this point that Lita came into the ring, and she immediately rushed after Mickie, taking her down from the right side and causing her to roll out by hitting her in a forearm shove. Lita then came down to Massaro and picked her up by the head, following which she just threw her down by the hair in a mat slam. Lita then got in a lateral press cover on Ashley, who again kicked out after the count of two. Mickie James then got up and entered the ring, and she and Lita got in each other's faces as Ashley tried to pick herself up by using the ropes in the corner. CM Punk led Edge and Maria down the ramp at that point in time, and the three of them (mainly just Punk and Edge) tried to tell both James and Lita to get it together because Ashley was getting up. This attempt was done to no avail, because Mickie and Lita were not paying attention. The two girls ended up in a shoving fight, which, when Lita tackled Mickie James, turned into a violent and sexy catfight between the two girls. They ended up rolling out of the ring, after which Edge was forced to come over and restrain the whole thing by pulling Lita off of James. Punk helped him out by keeping Mickie from taking advantage and attacking Lita. After Maria came in between them and pleaded to them to stop figting, they got the point and calmed down.

Mickie James being first, the two women now got back in the face of Ashley, who was finally up on her two feet again. They proceeded to irishwhip her, taking her into the opposite corner. Mickie James then came after her, but she elevated herself onto the second ropes, then leapt over the charging Women's Champion, following which she ran into and attacked Lita with a clothesline. She then turned around and hit the charging James with a missile dropkick. Lita then got up, and received a scoop slam from the Bad Kitty. Mickie got up, turned Ashley around, and hit her with a few forearms, then irishwhipped her, but Ashley took advantage by jumping up and springboarding off the second rope to hit a double axe handle on her. Ashley then covered Mickie, but Lita broke it up almost immediately after two. After this, Lita helped Ashley up, then gave her a quick missile dropkick. Lita made the cover, but Mickie got up and pulled Lita off of Ashley, then went into a cover of her own. Lita pulled Mickie off this time, after which she anticipated Mickie's getting up and threw her out of the ring. Meanwhile, Ashley rolled away and got up on to the apron. Lita came towards her, but received a headbutt to the gut, following which Ashley did a sunset flip on Lita. After the count of two, Lita was able to reverse it into a rana cover. 1… 2… and Ashley not only turned it around, but got up and held on, turning the sitout pin into a prawn hold. 1… 2… and Lita kicked out, ending this pinfall exchange quickly. After this, both women were soon up, and Lita hit Ashley with a clothesline. Lita then looked down at Ashley, and then at the turnbuckle, after which she placed Ashley into the proper position and climbed up the turnbuckle. She then finally flipped backwards and hit her Litasault Splash on Ashley. With Edge grinning happily and the fans actually rooting for her because of the move, Lita was about to crawl over to Ashley and cover her to become the new Women's Champion. However, this failed to happen because Mickie quickly stormed into the ring and kicked Lita in the side, causing her to roll away as Mickie covered Ashley. 1… 2… 3!

"Here is your winner, and still the WWE Women's Champion, Mickie James!"

As soon as that announcement came up, Edge had a bit of a downtrodden glance, but Punk managed to pat him on the back and tell him to cheer up, before the ringside trio which included Maria finally got into the ring. Along with Mickie, the three tended to Lita and helped her up, and Mickie checked with Lita to make sure she was alright. As soon as this happened, Mickie put an arm around Lita, a gesture which Lita returned, proving that they were still friends. After this, Mickie was handed her championship, and she got on the turnbuckle and raised it high in the air as Lita pointed to her for all the fans to see. She then jumped off and left the ring with the rest of their pals, Ashley still down. Trish Stratus and Stacy Keibler then came out through the crowd and checked on Ashley, helping her up and walking to the back with her after the McMahonists were out of their sight.

Later on was the main event match, but before we got to that, as we were only about fifteen minutes away from the main event, Vince and Shane McMahon were in the boss's office.

"Well, tonight's a pretty darn big main event," Shane began. "We've got CM Punk and our WWE Champion Edge, and they're gonna take on Christian Cage and John Cena right here tonight."

"Yeah, that's a very volatile situation there. Tempers could completely implode in the middle of that ring," Vince pointed out. "Between CM Punk vs. John Cena, and Edge vs. Christian, I don't know what the hell's gonna happen around here."

"Well, I do know what's gonna happen around here. What's gonna happen around here is that-"

"Guys, guys, there's a bad situation on the loose here," Mick Foley informed the McMahons, stopping Vince in his tracks. "Along with myself, Edge and Lita were just hanging out around the hall, when we were sighted by DX. I managed to get away, but as we speak, Edge and Lita are being run down by DX all the way into the parking lot, Vince!"

"What!?" Vince immediately screamed out in shock, before coming to a quick decision. "Mick, Shane, go after them and stop DX! I'm gonna call security on them in order to get them arrested. Meanwhile, in said parking lot…

"Oh, come on, Edge! We didn't come here to hurt you this time! We just came to prove a point!" Triple H was saying, as the still-shocked Edge and Lita continued to run away. Trips had the rest of DX standing alongside him, as Edge and Lita now immediately got into their rental car, which was a gold Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder convertible with the Rated R Superstar logo in black on the side. Edge started the engine as Lita sat in the front passenger seat and hurried him on.

"Lita, you're an embarrassment! Weren't you just in a Women's Title match? Why are you running from little ol' me?" Trish taunted at Lita.

"Hey, Trish. If you think I'm that stupid, then you obviously don't know me," Lita stated in objection.

"You were stupid enough to trash your career slutting yourself out for this idiot!" Rob shouted, pointing to Edge.

"Hey, if I were an idiot, I wouldn't be the WWE Heavyweight Champion at this very minute!" Edge shouted in retort.

"Well, you are an idiot. First of all, you turned Lita into a fake person. And then, you fail to realize that starting this car is going to give you and Lita a serious hygiene and sight problem!" Shawn warned the Rated R Superstar. "And what's worse is, you've got a main event match tonight, and you're leaving in your wrestling clothes!"

"Stop trying to bait us into coming over there!" Lita yelled at DX.

"Yeah, what do you think? That the two of us are gonna come down there and face all four of you?" Edge continued the retort.

"There they are, Mick! Let's get 'em!" Shane's voice was suddenly heard shouting. DX looked behind them and saw Shane and Mick charging away with steel chairs.

"We warned ya!" Shawn said, before DX suddenly ran off, managing to get past the charging Mick and Shane and escape the area. After DX left, the Rated R couple got out of the car without starting it.

"Edge, you've got a match to get set for right about now," Shane reminded the WWE Champion, who merely said thanks and left with his girlfriend. As they did so, Shane McMahon looked back and forth between Edge and Lita and their sweet car. Once out of sight, Shane turned to Mick in suggestion of something.

"Good-looking ride. Wanna take it for a spin, Mick?" Shane offered the Hardcore Legend.

"But wouldn't that be stealing?" Mick asked.

"He carelessly left his keys in there. That's practically a giveaway. Besides, we'll bring it back," Shane pointed out. After that, they hopped over the seats and got into the car, then put the key in the ignition and turned it. However, instead of the engine sounding, green smelly smoke suddenly came out of the AC vents and near-completely plastered Shane and Mick! Embarrassed, the two quickly rushed out of the car, hysterically screaming as the stinky smoke plastered their faces in green paint. Shane and Mick Foley ran away quickly, not even noticing that there was someone else there, actually filming the whole thing from a camera. And that somebody stepped out, his camera fixed towards the green smoke that was still pouring out of Edge's rental car. That somebody… was the jabroni-eating, pie-eating, trail-blazing, eyebrow-raising People's Champion, the Rock. And his People were out of their seats when they saw his smiling face. He then turned his camera towards himself.

"And so, once again, the associates and son of Vince McMahon prove themselves to be roody poo candy ass jabronis. And that's why they can kiss the People's Ass… if ya smell what the Rock is cookin'."

After that, he walked away.

About fifteen minutes from when this whole thing started, John Cena's entrance theme, "The Time Is Now", came on, sending the fans into cheers, though there were a slight few notable boos on the man. He came out, running across one end of the stage like a house of fire. Once back to the center of the stage, he raised up the Word Life sign, following which he walked down the ramp, still fired up and firing up the crowd. He then slid into the ring and ran around throwing up the Word Life sign again, after which he stepped on one of the turnbuckles and delivered his trademark salute. After this, his music died down, and in its place came "My Last Breath", following which the audience was now all cheers for Christian. After the first few seconds, he came out with his arms stretched out and hands signaling towards himself, following which he stopped right at the top of the ramp to scan the area of his Peeps. After this, he thumped his chest and pointed kisses to the fans, walking down and receiving cheers as he did so. He finished his walk down the ramp confidently, following which he used the steps and ropes to get in, then got on a turnbuckle, scanned the crowd, then pointed kisses to them. After this, he came down and walked over to the other side the same way that he walked out. After his music died out, Edge's music came on, and out of the smoke came Edge and Lita, walking down hand in hand, just like CM Punk and Maria after them. Both couples walked down the ramp hand in hand, then saw the man leave the woman at ringside and enter the ring, following which they got on turnbuckles and posed. Edge had his arms stretched out in a glory pose, and Punk had the Straight Edge X sign over his forehead.

Once both teams were set in their corners, the music stopped and the bell rang, leading to the start of the match. After discussions, it was decided that Punk and Christian were gonna start this match off. The two men were supposed to lock up, but CM Punk got Christian in a drop toe hold, then ran off the ropes and met Christian's rise to his feet with a clothesline. Christian began to sit up, but then Punk dropkicked his upper back, forcing him to go right back down. Punk then covered Christian, who kicked out immediately. Punk picked up Cage, following which he irishwhipped him into his and Cena's corner, then came over to Christian. Cage, though, lifted his boot up to hit Punk as soon as the guy got up, following which he got out of the corner and hit Punk with a snapmare. After this, he picked up Punk, sent him into the corner, and then tagged in Mr. Cena. John came into the ring, and he and Christian both irishwhipped him out of the corner, greeting his return with a double team arm drag. Then, Cena picked up Punk and sent him into one of the neutral corners, following which he hit him with a hard and vicious clothesline. This knocked Punk on his butt in the corner, following which Cena went Stone Cold on CM Punk and pretty much gave him a mudhole stomping. The people were enjoying that moment a bit, until Edge came into the ring, turned Cena around, and cornered him with a crazy barrage of stomp kicks to the gut and right hands to the face. The fans jeered every moment of this. The referee was helpless to stop anything. However, Christian wasn't. He came into the ring, turned Edge around, and hit him with several rights and lefts to both the gut and the face. After this, Chrstian walked off and thumped his chest confidently to the fans, after which he walked back Edge's way and picked him up, then dealt him a missile dropkick. Edge rolled off to the outside. Meanwhile, Punk pushed Cena away from him and rolled to the outside, following which Cena quickly got up. Both Christian and Cena then shot themselves over the ropes in cross body takedowns on both Edge and CM Punk. Christian and Cena both entered the ring, following which they posed to the cheering crowd, and both Punk and Edge's girlfriends tended to them. The program then hit a commercial break.

When we got back from commercial break, it was Edge and Christian that were the legal persons in the ring, and Christian was punching away at Edge in te corner. He then irishwhipped Edge towards the corner, but Edge reversed it, then charged after Christian as soon as he was in the corner. Cage, though, managed to get out of it, and he ran off the ropes. Unfortunately, that was right where Punk was at the apron, so the Disciplined Fighter put his knee in position to hit Christian in the spine as soon as Cage got there. That worked and stalled Christian for a little bit, slowing him down enough for Edge to be able to take him by the head and send him over the top to the outside. As soon as this happened, CM Punk came into the ring and started a triple threat argument beween himself, the referee, and Edge, allowing Lita to attack Christian with a few stomps before putting him in the ring. After she finished, Punk went back to the apron and Edge picked up where his girlfriend left off in the stomping of Christian. After this, he picked up Christian, snapmared him, and then gave him a dropkick to the upper back, following which he covered Cage. Christian kicked out after two. Edge then got up, and he irishwhipped Christian into his and Punk's corner, still holding onto Cage as Punk stepped into the ring and punched Christian once. Punk then lifted Cage into a seated position on the second rope, then threw him across the ring, before dragging him closer to the apron, then going to it and using the ropes to hit a slingshot senton, Eddie Guerrero style. Punk then covered Christian Cage again, only for Christian to kick out after two. After this, Punk helped Christian get back up, then gave him the two slaps, and went for the backhand slap, except Christian ducked, lifted him suplex style, then hung him up on the top rope stomach first. Cage then walked off and thumped his own chest a few times, before coming back to Punk, picking him up, leaning him back against the ropes, and punching him a few times. After this, Cage readied himself, then clotheslined Punk over the top rope to the outside! After this, however, Christian found himself tossed over the top by Edge, who burst into the ring and past the referee to do so. Cena then followed suit, coming into the ring, bypassing the ref's admonishments, then tackling Edge and punching him several times in a mount position. Cena then picked up Edge, irishwhipped him, and got him in a scoop powerslam. Cena then picked up Edge, who went on to give him a rake to the eye, then toss him over the top. Edge then posed in the middle of the ring, prompting fans to boo, whilst Lita got on the apron to try to warn him that CM Punk and Christian were currently brawling, trading blows right outside the ring. As soon as he understood this, Edge paid attention and gave Christian a baseball slide, which took him down. Edge then came to the outside of the ring as Cena and CM Punk got into a fight, trading vicious right hands filled with purpose and hatred. Maria came over and tried to yell at them to stop fighting like this while at the same time made sure not to get directly in between them and risk injury to herself, but her efforts proved to be quite futile, as Cena ended up clotheslining Punk over the security rail while she was still shouting and pleading for them to stop. Cena then got over the guardrail as well, going in after Punk. Maria started to follow suit, before Lita suddenly held her by the arm. After a little discussion, Lita let Maria go ahead, then turned her attention right back to her own boyfriend, who just went to the outside and walked towards his old pal, who was just getting up on the outside.

The tag team match just turned into a one-on-one, Edge picked up Christian and rolled him into the ring, before entering the squared circle himself. While cockily walking towards Christian, Edge suddenly gave his old buddy a quick leg drop, before covering him for a two-count. Edge then got up, helped Christian, up, then quickly gave his old pal a snapmare, following which he kept on a headlock, which he wrenched tightly in the small hope that Christian would either pass out or tap out as a result of it. However, after a few seconds and a few chants of Christian's name, this failed to have the desired impact, as Captain Charisma was able to eventually fight through the headlock and get back up to a vertical base, following which he elbowed Edge's gut several times, making him let go. Christian then tried to go and run off the ropes, but Edge threw him down by the head, then covered him with his forearm on the young Peep Man's forehead. Christian kicked out after the count of two. Edge then started to argue with the referee a little, before turning his attention right back to Christian. Edge picked him up, then took him down with a drop toe hold. After this, Edge came to the outside, pulled Chrisian to the apron, rolled him on his back, then started punching the downed Cage a little, before pushing him right back into the ring, sliding in himself, and hooking Cage's leg for a cover. 1, 2, Christian kicked out. Edge banged the mat a couple of times in frustration, before helping Christian get up in the corner, then irishwhipping him in the opposite corner. Edge charged after him immediately, but ended up knocked down by Christian's boot hitting his face. Christian then picked up Edge and got him in a prawn hold-like cover using the ropes for leverage! 1… 2… kickout by Edge!

Christian got up, looking a little surprised that that didn't work, but generally was still focused on the match. He helped pick Edge up, but the Rated R Superstar broke away with his hands, and fired several forearms onto Christian, forcing him back into the ropes before an irishwhip. However, when Christian came back at Edge, he went for a low kick, but was blocked by Edge. However, this only gave him room to jump with the other leg for an enzuiguri on Edge! After this, both men were down, and the fans were all chanting out the name"Christian Cage!" over and over again, in the hopes that Cage would be able to pick himself up first. The referee then went into his Last Man Standing count soon, and got to the count of five, before both Edge and Christian managed to get up at the same time. After this, Edge gave Christian a right hand. Christian gave it right back. Edge hit him again. Christian hit back again. The two men would go on to slowly trade right hands, picking up the pace until Edge was finally blocked by Christian, who gave him a knee to the midsection, a rake to the eye, and a group of right hands in retaliation, before irishwhipping Edge and giving him a big back body drop. Christian then came over to Edge and kicked him in the midsection, before setting him up correctly and giving him a snap suplex. Christian then climbed up on the turnbuckle in waiting for Christian to get up, following which he found his leg being dragged by Lita. He was able to kick her down while Edge was getting up, and then to give Edge a missile dropkick, the Peeps fully behind Christian Cage as he covered Edge. 1… 2… Edge kicked out!

Looking a bit surprised again, Christian shook it off and got up as Edge struggled to do so himself. Edge then ended up at the corner, and Christian tried to irishwhip him into the opposite corner, but instead pulled back, apparently figuring that Edge would do the same thing Christian himself had done a minute ago, and opting to flapjack Edge jaw-first into the top turnbuckle. As Edge was staggering backwards, Christian got him in a school boy rollup pin. 1… 2… Edge barely, barely, managed to kick out! After both dudes quickly got up, Christian irishwhipped Edge, then went for a dropkick. However, Edge held onto the ropes to stop himself from coming back, so Christian hit nothing and fell flat on his back. Edge then came over to Christian and flipped over him while holding his legs to generate a jackknife cover. 1… 2… no way! Cage still kicked out! The Rated R Superstar and Captain Charisma were nowhere near finished with each other, apparently.

As Christian was getting up, Edge had already angrily stormed up and currently was in the referee's face, shouting that it was a three. When Christian was finally on his knees, facing the situation, he gave a small chuckle at Edge's complaining mistake. Unfortunately, as soon as he got up and even thought about coming to Edge, Christian wound up the recipient of a low blow from Lita! Once Christian fell flat on his stomach clutching his penis, Lita smirked confidently as she stood over the man who at one time courted her in a Canadian dollar bet, both her and the still-yelling Edge completely oblivious to a fact that the fans realized and cheered over: that Trish Stratus was running down the ramp to confront Lita! Once she slid into the ring, Trish quickly got up, taking Lita's attention, and the two women engaged in a fist fight, except Trish used her forearm and took the advantage early on. She soon irishwhipped Lita, and gave her an arm drag. Both women quickly got up, and Trish dropkicked Lita down. After this, Lita quickly rolled out of the ring, and started crawling away on the floor to try and recovered from this. However, Trish came down after Lita and dragged her up by the hair, after which she sent her over the railing, where she would be unable to interfere. Trish then leaned over the rail to talk some trash at Lita before entertaining the fans in front of her with a DX crotch chop, before she turned away and left with a smile.

This left Christian, who just finally stopped clutching his genitalia in pain and was barely able to withstand it enough to see what happened with Trish and Lita, and Edge, who suddenly stopped in the middle of an argument with the referee just now, finally starting to get a little overly curious about the cheering he was hearing. Edge then looked over at the ringside area and failed to see Lita, until she got up from behind the guardrail. Edge began to ask Lita what she was doing over there, while Christian got up, walked towards Edge, and actually slapped him in the face once. Edge got pissed off at that incredible punkout, and recklessly charged after Christian for a clothesline, but the Peep Man was able to duck and get behind him in order to hit a diving reverse DDT! Christian covered Edge. 1… 2… the WWE Champion just managed to kick out!

Edge hit a thumb to the eye on Christian after both guys got up, then put him in the corner and monkey flipped him down. After Christian got up, Edge went for a missile dropkick and hit Christian right on the money. The Rated R Superstar then posed with his arms out and his fingers signaling towards himself, resulting in a certain row of boos which only intensified when he took Captain Charisma's habit of thumping his chest while walking to the corner. Once at the corner, he crouched in that same stalking pose which just told you that he was ready for a Spear. After Christian got up enough, he charged in for the Spear, but was sidestepped by Christian, and his shoulder met the steel! Christian then took back the habit of thumping one's chest, before coming back to where Edge was, pulling him slightly out of the corner, then turning him around, before getting behind him and sitting on the second turnbuckle. Christian then dragged Edge back in an inverted facelock, before jumping off and spinning, dragging Edge into the diving reverse tornado DDT known worldwide as the _CCT_! After a few seconds of both men just laying there, Christian finally made an effort to crawl on top of Edge, which resulted in a 1… 2… no!

While both men struggled to get up, Candice Michelle and Shane McMahon came down the ramp hand in hand, after which Candice got on the apron and went into the ring Miss Jackie-like. Candice then went to the referee and started dancing around him, distracting him as he got the most action he would see from a Diva in years. Victoria suddenly stepped through the crowd, got into the ring, and tackled Candice, who ended up rolling outside with her in a rolling catfight which continued to take the referee's attention. Meanwhile, Christian started to get up, and Shane McMahon signaled for somebody to come out. The person who did so turned out to be the Samoan Bulldozer, Umaga. Umaga quickly ran into the ring, took Christian, and gave him the Samoan Spike, before leaving the ring while the ref was still watching the catfight. Umaga then quickly stormed off past a smiling Shane McMahon, who gave him a high five as he did so. Edge, who the shaking of the ring finally inspired to move, saw Christian down and apparently out cold. So, he slowly picked his tired self up, walked over to Christian, took his legs, and locked him into that kneeling inverted Sharpshooter, the Edgecator. While the move itself was very painful, Christian's scream contained a certain hoarseness to it as a result of that Samoan Spike which told him that he couldn't sustain being forced to scream for much longer, so he did what Edge was yelling at him to do and tapped out so as to save himself. By _now_, Victoria and Candice's catfight was restrained from happening any longer, so the referee saw Christian tap and told the referee to ring the bell. As soon as the bell rang, Edge let go and, with jeering fans, got his hand raised in victory as his music came on.

"Here are your winners, CM Punk and the WWE Heavyweight Champion Edge!"

As all this was going on, Edge's girlfriend finally made it over the guardrail and got the WWE Championship before re-entering the ring. She handed it to her Rated R boyfriend, who got on a turnbuckle and raised it high in the air, fully confident in himself. Shane McMahon then stepped into the ring, and he, Edge, and Lita all stood in the middle of the ring with their arms raised in triumphance, Edge in the center with his arms holding the WWE Championsip.

Meanwhile, in the back, CM Punk and John Cena were now jawing away at each other, Maria restraining Punk and Stacy Keibler restraining Cena from trading blows any longer.

"Let me go and I'll get this guy out of our lives already!" Punk shot, trying to ask, or maybe tell, Maria to let him go and hit Cena.

"No! I'm not gonna let you do that to him!" Maria yelled in resistance, still keeping Punk behind her.

"See that, Punk-ass!? She knows you're wrong!" Cena shouted at him.

"No, she knows that this whole fighting is wrong!" Stacy very vocally disagreed.

"That's just the problem. It's not wrong, it's the only way to get into this idiot's head that he can't be selfish wit' Maria!" John argued, pointing to Punk.

"No, it's not! It's the only way to get into _this_ idiot away from her so that he can't steal her from me!" CM Punk

"See, that's the problem right there! That's all you think about! When is that thug gonna steal her from you! Ever thought that maybe I was tellin' the truth when I said it ain't my place to do dat!" Cena pointed out, trying to get it into Punk's head.

"You're damn right it's not your place, but when did you ever say that!?" Punk demanded, being selectively forgetful and untrusting as usual.

"When you first got here, and you forced me to tell Ria to the world how I feel about her! I clearly said I never made a move because unlike your so-called "pal" Edge, I don't make it my place to steal a girl from her man! Ever thought I was tellin' the truth there!?"

"He has a point!" Maria admitted as she turned to Punk. "CM, maybe you guys could talk this out and then-"

"No way!" CM immediately refused his girlfriend's deal, determined as ever to be against Mr. Cena. "I'm not gonna join forces with this thug… no, this _poser_ thug!"

"Watch it, Punk-ass! You pop out wit' poser or thug again, and I'll be forced to show you which one I am!" Cena threatened him. It was just at that point, that Vince McMahon suddenly showed up and came in between the two teams.

"That's it!" McMahon shot, breaking up the entire argument, his angriest face turned towards John Cena and Stacy Keibler. "John Cena, I'm getting sick and tired of you, I'm getting sick and tired of your little girlfriend here, I'm getting sick and tired of your little Chain Gang, and I'm getting sick and tired of all this Insurrexion crap! In two weeks on Monday Night Raw, John Cena, you get your wish! You get your hands on CM Punk in a tag team match with DX's Shawn Michaels against CM Punk and Umaga! Yeah!"

"Oh, um… Vince?" Punk shuddered in saying.

"What!?" Vince sharply asked, his face snapping towards Punk.

"What are we gonna do about his Chain Gang's tag team titles?"

"Good point, CM. I'll tell you what we're gonna do! I understand that the Undertaker's got two Raw Superstars in his new Ministry of Darkness to combat the nWo, but their membership doesn't completely cancel out their Raw contracts, so they can come here from time to time. Those two Raw Superstars, whoever they are, will be revealed along with the rest of the Ministry to us all on Friday Night Smackdown! After that, those two Raw Superstars are going to make their first sporadic appearance on Raw by facing Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku for the World Tag Team Championship!" Vince shockingly announced, putting the trademark expression of surprise on everyone's face. He then left for the Raw arena stage, where Edge, Shane McMahon, and Lita were just starting to leave. When they were at the stage, they were met by Vince, who immediately turned all smiles as he met with his son and his champion, along with said champion's girlfriend. However, Edge's music was then immediately cut into by a static showing, after which a picture that the Rock had taken of the smokestacked Rated R Superstar Car showed up on the Titantron. His voice then suddenly blared on the arena loudspeakers, saying the following:

"This picture was taken by the one and only People's Champ, the Rock, who will be making an appearance sometime in September to whip me some McMahonism roody poo kiss-ass candy ass, and to electrify like the Rock, and _only_ the Rock, can! And that smelly green smokestack of puke all over Edge's car was brought to you by some old friends, D-Generation X, who you will find in a boiler room near you leaving their mark on that ass-kissing Hardcore Hasbeen I once called friend, Mick Foley. If ya smell-la-la-la-la-la-la-laow! What the Rock… is… cookin'!"

As the fans sang along in the last part, then cheered their socks off at the end of this, the Titantron - which Edge, Lita, and the McMahons were all watching in extreme anger - suddenly shifted to Mick Foley, gagged and handcuffed on the floor by Shawn Michaels, Triple H, and Rob Van Dam, as Trish Stratus stood there, facing the camera.

"Hey, Vince. Despite what we just saw out there with you guys winning, I'd still say this night was pretty fun. I mean, after all, as we speak, Mick Foley is about to get branded," Trish said, presenting the scene as DX ripped off Foley's flannel vest, then held him in place as one member (specifically HHH) took a can of spray paint and sprayed a green D onto Foley's back. Somebody else (specifically HBK) took a different can of spray paint and painted an equally green X to fit with the D in DX. All three members then stood up and came to where Trish was.

"Hey, dudes. Right there, you just saw Mick Foley get branded inferior the man they all paid to see, me, Rob Van Dam, the greatest Women's Champion of all time, Trish Stratus, the very best sports-entertainer in the world, Shawn Michaels, and the measuring stick of this business, Triple H. Otherwise known as the most powerful force in the universe, D-Generation X," RVD stated, plugging the entire team in the process.

"As he just explained, Vince," Trips continued, "this complete embarrassment of a so-called "Hardcore Legend" was just brought to you by your friends, the good people of D-Generation X."

"Who would like to remind you of just one little thing there, Vinny Mac. And that is, if you're not down with that, then we've got two words for ya!" Shawn Michaels finished, the group all doing a crotch chop as the fans shouted "SUCK IT!"

Immediately after this, the DX music blared all over the arena, and the very four important McMahonists that were there were now ticked off, Edge and Mr. McMahon notably seething. With an order of "Come on!", Vince and Edge led Shane and Lita out of the area as the DX members scurried on out of there. Trish and RVD, however, stayed back, to spray paint DX on the camera inside the boiler room, which the tron was still on, before they quickly scurried on out of here. And that DX spray paint was the calling card that this edition of Raw left behind.

a/n: I don't know why I ended up taking CM Punk and John Cena basically out of the match right in the middle. Probably because I wanted to do Edge vs. Christian a little bit to give a small taste of that, or maybe it just seemed easier at the time to turn this into a one-on-one, or something… anyway, what I know is, I did it, and it turned out great, and then I just thought of the stuff afterwards out of nowhere, and now I have to go and do my next chapter… as well as live down the slight consequences of, thanks to bad alarm setup, oversleeping and not showing up for school earlier today. So, now to go. Peace, peeps.

-P. Dizzle tha Grand Champion, signing off.


	13. Intercontinental Heat

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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a/n: I don't know why I feel like I have to do this on a separate Heat chapter, but probably because I don't want to completely fill up my chapters too much. In any case, here we go! Prepare to be entertained as usual.

**Chapter 13: Intercontinental Heat**

Date & Show: September 4, 2006, WWE Heat

Somewhere at around 6:45 PM, D-Generation X arrived at the arena, Rob Van Dam being already in wrestling gear. Within minutes, the trio was situated in their wrestling gear, the realization stepping forth that in about a couple of hours, there will be a main event on Heat to determine the fate of the WWE Intercontinental Championship, as in, who Charlie Haas will have to face to defend it. The Whole Damn Show is one of the contenders for this honor, as are "the Most Pure Athlete in the World Today" Shelton Benjamin, "Caribbean Cool" Carlito, and "the Masterpiece" Chris Masters. All four of them will engage in a fatal four-way confrontation. The bad part of it is that this match will only show up on the Internet and not on national TV. The good part of it is that RVD is ready to put on a show.

Once the group was situated in the locker room, at about 7:30, they began to hold a conversation about the big match RVD was about to participate in within the next 20 minutes.

"Rob, can I ask you something?" Trish offered.

"Sure, what is it?" Rob approved.

"Can you promise me that you'll be careful and watch your back out there? Because after what we did last week, and with Shelton Benjamin being in this match, you never know what Vince's gonna throw at you," Trish asked while giving a very good point.

"Trish, when have you known me to limit myself just because somebody's gonna throw crap at me?" Rob asked as he placed his hands on her shoulders, disagreeing with her message. "I remember way back when, last time Eric Bischoff was the General Manager. People like Triple H, who was more of an ass back then, were given all the support in the world by Eric Bischoff, and people like me, or you most of the time, or Shawn Michaels, we were the ones getting the whole book tossed at us. I never slowed down. I kept being RVD. And look where it's got me now. Inches away from taking the WWE Title to ECW. A member of D-Generation X. And forever in the picture for the Intercontinental Title. I could be doing better, but I'm pretty good right now."

"No, Rob, shut up," she shot, jerking back to get his hands off her. "I have a point, and you're not listening to me."

"He's right, though. Come on, Trish, you have to admit, you seem a little bit jittery today," Triple H pointed out.

"Jittery? Oh, come on! I'm Trish Stratus!" Trish replied, putting her name beyond the claim.

"Yes, and being Trish Stratus means you are completely oblivious to emotions such as nervousness of any kind, when everybody else can get nervous at any given time about any significant reason," Shawn Michaels pointed out with a little insert of sarcastic jest.

"Come on. Admit it. You're gettin' a little scared that Vince McMahon and his WWE Champion have got some big consequences prepared for us because of last week," Trips assumed.

"I am not!" Trish shot back, before sighing just two seconds later. "Okay, it's just that… well, I'm not really sure if I'm gonna be able to stay around much longer."

"What are you talking about?" Rob asked. "You're afraid Vince is gonna fire you or something?"

"No. I'm afraid that he won't allow me to resign and stay on," Trish revealed. "In case you guys didn't know, my contract runs out after Unforgiven. Knowing Vince, he won't sign me back because he knows I'm a threat to his religion."

"Are you forgetting who you're talking to over here?" Trips asked her. "I can easily talk to Linda McMahon about giving you an extension. And besides, even if we don't get it, what better way to go out than your own hometown? I mean, Unforgiven is in Toronto, right?"

"Yeah, you have a point. But the thing is, that's if I even decide to stay on. I don't even know if I want to stay. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm having fun with you guys. It's just that… I have become the greatest Women's Champion of all time already, and all my years in the business, and my relationship outside the ring, and with… with what's been happening with Kurt Angle, I don't even really know what's the best thing for me to do. I…" she finally stopping herself in the process of rambling on and revealing all this information about her uncertain future with WWE. "…I don't really want to talk about it."

"Agreed," Shawn cut in. "No more depressing subjects for us. We've got a happy night to get to. And first of all, I want to say, that I was shocked out of my seat when I saw Scott Hall come out in that nWo getup Friday night…"

Meanwhile, Shelton Benjamin was talking with Candice Michelle in one of the McMahonism locker rooms near Vince's office. Umaga was also there, but was sitting away from them, and just thinking about a certain big match for later tonight.

"Candice, seriously. I think I might be goin' on another losing streak here," Shelton admitted to her. "I just lost two big championship matches last week. The Intercontinental Title match at SummerSlam, and the World Tag Team Championship match last Monday night with Umaga. And the thing is, I'm actually the guy who lost both matches. I'm the one who got pinned. Not that I'm just gonna quit, but seriously. Now I'm in a fatal four way #1 contender's match about the Intercontinental Title. That's a big opportunity, but _now_?"

"I don't know. I think this may be what you need to get back up again. If you win this, you get Charlie one-on-one for the title. And we both know you're better than him," Candice pointed out to him. But then, she started to seductively rub his chest. "But if it makes you feel better, Shelton; I wouldn't mind pinning you."

"Yo!" Shelton burst, jumping out of his seat and startling her. "I know what you mean, but still. Don't talk about me being pinned. I can't take that talk right now. Please!"

"Okay, I'm sorry!" Candice shot back, before giving out a sigh. "I have two straight tag team matches, against a woman who's out to kill me. I need a little stress release."

"Yeah, well try not to talk about me being pinned when I'm on a losing streak next time you need a little stress release, and I'll be happy to give it to you," Shelton retorted, although quite honestly.

Meanwhile, Carlito was in his and Torrie Wilson's locker room, getting himself taped up and set for action under her watchful eye. Once he finished, he stood up and faced Torrie.

"Torrie, you know this is a big opportunity for Carlito. If I win tonight on Heat in this four-way match, I get to go for the Intercontinental Championship at Unforgiven. And trust me. Carlito wants a shot at Charlie Haas, especially because of the gold," Carlito stated.

"Believe me. I'm looking forward to seeing you get this title shot, and I'm sure you'll get this," Torrie assured him. "And after that, I'll be sure to give you another title shot."

"Ooh, Carlito likes the sound of that," he replied with a smirk, as the two began to approach each other by a few inches. Suddenly, the door violently came open, and they found themselves staring at the fourth competitor in this match, Chris Masters.

"Torrie, what are you doing hanging around with this loser?" Masters immediately questioned Torrie's choice of man. "Look at Carlito. He's got that ugly Sideshow Bob-looking fuzzy afro on top of his head, he's skinny, and he thinks he's cool when the coolest thing he can think of to do is spitting in people's faces just because he doesn't like them. Whereas me, look at me! I'm "the Masterpiece" Chris Masters. I actually look like I deserve attention. And, if you couldn't tell what's been happening to me over the past couple of months, by now you can see that I am leaner and meaner. This Work of Art is no longer loaded, but is now even more chiseled than ever. Why don't you ditch this living male human dudette over here and start hanging out with somebody who's truly worth talking about, like me?"

"Uh, Chris…" Torrie began nervously. "I-I don't know how to tell you this, but… if you really want to use art terms, you look more like a starving artist than a work of art right now."

"Yeah, and to top it all off, this guy's even more weak in the head than that Van Gogh guy was insane and paranoid. And I don't even know how I know that," Carlito continued, sending himself and Torrie into laughter while Masters looked embarrassed. A flustered Masterpiece finally retaliated by shoving Carlito hard into the wall and walking away, causing Torrie to go down and check on him.

Of course, the Cool One did manage to shake it off, when it came to Heat main event time. The first theme song was that of Shelton Benjamin, who appeared with Candice Michelle behind him. He walked in his usual cocky stride, then got on the apron and walked backwards on it before getting into the ring. Meanwhile, Candice walked around the ring and at one point licked her wand as she went past some male fans in the front row. After this, Carlito's music came on, after which he walked out to many cheers and with an apple in hand. Torrie Wilson accompanied him in a beautiful red dress, as Carlito used the steps and ropes to walk into the ring, following which he took a bite out of that apple and spat it out into the air in the middle of the ring, before giving the rest of it to a smiling Torrie to hold. Then, RVD's music came on, and he came out after the usual firework burst, though without anyone accompanying him to the ring. After high-fiving some fans while walking down the ramp, he rolled into the ring, spun in place with his arms raised, and then did the RVD thumbs gesture, followed up by one DX chop, and one accomodationg X firework burst. Then, Chris Masters' museum-presentation-like music came on, and he did his usual masterpiece poses with all the fireworks in his way. Once the pose ended, he walked down the ramp raising his right arm with the index finger pointed high. He then got into the ring, got on one of the turnbuckles, and raised his arms with the hands folded together. After he finally came down, the music stopped and the bell rang, signaling for the start of the match.

Immediately, all four competitors started jawing away at one another, daring any of the other two to finally start the action in this match. Finally two people started actually stepping up to one another. Those two, as expected, would be Rob Van Dam and Carlito. After some time, Carlito slapped RVD in the face, to which Rob quickly replied by taking Carlito's head and hitting him with several quick forearms, followed by a low kick, and then a leg sweep to trip Carlito right down to the ground. RVD then came over and went off the ropes, then hit Carlito in the side with a low dropkick, causing the Tropical Bad Apple to roll away and down to the outside. RVD then came over to the ropes, ready to shoot himself over and get down onto Carlito as soon as the guy got up. Carlito got up, and Rob pulled back hanging on to the ropes to get ready to leap down onto his fuzzy-haired Puerto Rican enemy. However, this is when Chris Masters came into the picture, pushing Rob as soon as he shot into the air, causing his leap to go all the way past Carlito into the crowd! Luckily, he fell on an empty arena of that floor, so he ended up hurting nobody but himself. Carlito saw that and, along with Torrie who was now beside him, looked a little concerned for Rob, until he remembered that this was still in the midst of a match. At this point in time, Shelton Benjamin was hammering away at Masters right several right hands, after which he irishwhipped him and took him down with a back elbow. Masters got up, and was immediately the victim of a snap suplex from Shelton. Masters got up once again, and came towards Benjamin, only to be the victim of a missile dropkick. Shelton, it seemed, was actually packing some heat here. He covered Chris Masters. 1… 2… the Masterpiece kicked out.

At this point, Carlito was in the ring, and as soon as Masters got up, he shot Masters' legs with a low dropkick, forcing him down to one knee. Shelton then took advantage, hitting Masters with a Yakuza kick to the side of the head. Van Dam was still writhing in pain all the way in the crowd, though he was starting to get up. Trish Stratus suddenly arrived at Van Dam's side, checking on him to see if he was alright, followed by Shawn and Triple H, making a rare appearance on Heat.

As this was happening, Carlito and Shelton were already beginning to trade fists with each other, until Carlito ducked a right from Shelton, ran off the ropes behind Shelton, and took him down in a bulldog with Torrie and the fans cheering. Carlito then covered Shelton, which only resulted in a two count. Carlito then picked up Benjamin, shot him with a European uppercut, and then locked in Shelton's head and hit him with a snap suplex. Carlito then quickly went for another cover, and Shelton kicked out after two yet again. Carlito picked up Shelton, hit him with several left hands, irishwhipped him, and then leapt up into the air with his legs open, expecting to catch Shelton's head in between them for a hurracanrana. However, he only ended up landing on the back of his neck and head, as Shelton grabbed the ropes to stop himself from being caught by Carlito's attack. Seeing Carlito down, Shelton came over to him and flipped over with Caribbean legs in hand to get in a jackknife cover. 1… 2… Carlito kicked out. Shelton then picked up Carlito, and hit him with a kick to the midsection, a right hand right, and a missile dropkick. Shelton then took Carlito, dragged him away from the ropes, and hooked his leg for a cover. After the referee hit two, Carlito kicked out. Shelton then picked up Carlito, after which he got him in a snapmare, followed up by a headlock. However, that's when Benjamin saw that Chris Masters was up and immediately released the headlock and got up in the Self Made Sculpture's face. Benjamin and Masters began to argue a little bit, but soon Masters pointed to RVD, apparetly giving Shelton some instructions. Shelton then got back on Carlito and reapplied the headlock, after which Masters ran off the ropes and kicked Carlito in the head. Masters then went off the ropes again, except this time, ran his knee straight into Shelton's head! This knocked down Benjamin, forced him to the outside, as well as forced him to release the headlock.

Masters then picked up Carlito, locked his head in, hooked his arm, and then pulled on his tights to lift him high into the air, a position which Masters, despite his somewhat depleted muscles, was still strong enough to hold for a good five seconds, before finally coming down for a vertical suplex on Carlito. Masters then got back up, following which he picked up Carlito once again. This time, he took Carlito and rammed him shoulder first into a turnbuckle, before which he pulled him back and hit him with a hard forearm to the back of the head. Masters then got in a mount position on Carlito and punched away at him with several right hands. Torrie Wilson tried to come into the ring in order to do something about this predicament her apparent friend-turning-boyfriend was in, afraid that he would be busted open or injured by Masters. However, the ref kept her away, and she wound up changing nothing, as Masters stopped and got off Carlito just three seconds later. However, Masters did drag Carlito to the center of the ring, and then cover him. Torrie kept on trying to get in past the ref, so he still was unable to pay attention, leading to absolutely nothing coming of the Work of Art's pinfall attempt. Masters got up, and as he saw what was going on, began to angrily storm towards Torrie and the referee, but could not make it there before he was knocked aside… by a dropkick from the top rope by Shelton Benjamin!

As the Son of South Carolina now found himself in the best position in the match, he punched away at Carlito in a mount position, while Candice dragged Torrie down, the blonde girl hitting the apron face first, before being struck in the head by Candice's wand. Trish Stratus then came over the guardrail and delivered a Chick Kick to Candice, clean knocking her down and out. She was followed by Van Dam, who afterwards ran into the ring. A now standing Shelton Benjamin came straight after Rob, who struck Shelton with a right hand jab, a left hand jab, a right kick to the leg, a left kick to the leg, and then a leg sweep tripping Shelton down flat on his back. Shelton soon got up, though, so Rob ran off the ropes and hit him with a Rolling Thunder clothesline. Rob then ran off the ropes to the side, and then got Benjamin with the Rolling Thunder senton. After this, he covered Benjamin. 1… 2… Chris Masters was right there to break it up. Masters and Carlito, who just got up, decided to try and double team on Rob, going for a double vertical suplex, but he managed to wiggle his way into countering it into a double DDT on both men! RVD and Benjamin got up simultaneously, and Van Dam went for a step-over heel kick. However, Benjamin caught his leg and immediately lifted and slammed him down into a Uranage-like leg sweep bomb! Benjamin stayed on for the cover. 1… 2… no! RVD kicked out!

Shelton got up, and started arguing with the refere, but soon finished when he noticed that Van Dam was up, and that the other two were getting up. Shelton came towards RVD and tried to send him over the top, but Mr. Monday Night reversed it and Shelton suffered said fate. After this, Van Dam turned around right into a Polish hammer from Chris Masters, who awaited RVD's slow ride and stalked away at him, waiting for the opportunity to get in the Master Lock. However, in the midst of it, he ended up receiving the Backcracker! Carlito quickly covered Masters. 1… 2… no! Van Dam managed to break up the maneuver just in time! As soon as this happened, RVD picked up Carlito, who suddenly delived a thumb to the eye. He then grabbed RVD in a reverse headlock, apparently about to go for his Caribbean Twist rolling cutter. He successfully executed the move, but Shelton slowly slid into the ring and got up as Carlito did, and quickly gave Carlito the T-Bone powerslam suplex! He then stayed on for the cover. This was it! 1… 2…

…the referee suddenly stopped in his count, as Carlito placed his leg on the bottom rope. He then notified Shelton of this little problem, to which Benjamin replied by getting off of Carlito and arguing with the referee, frustrated at not being able to score the pinfall victory. Eventually, he stopped with the argument and went over to Van Dam, coming down to pick him up, but ending up dragged into a small package cover! 1… 2… 3!

"Here is your winner, and the new #1 contender for the WWE Intercontinental Championship, Rob Van Dam!"

As Lilian Garcia made this enthused announcement, RVD rolled out of the ring and raised his arms up high to the cheers of the fans, and did the RVD 3x-thumbs gesture to the fans, before being hugged from behind by the ecstatic Trish Stratus. He had to back her into the apron in order to get her off, but made sure not to make it too hard. Trish and RVD went around the ring to where Trips and Michaels were, then invited them to come over the rail and into the ring with them. After Shawn and Trips crossed the barrier, D-Generation X all went into the ring, after which Shawn Michaels superkicked Shelton Benjamin, and Triple H hit Chris Masters with a Pedigree, before the group all lined up and did several crotch chops, invoking the presence of the X fireworks and the switch to "Break It Down", the song of D-Generation X!

With the DX music blaring on the loudspeakers on this now special edition of Heat, DX walked up the ramp and left through the curtains, going back to the locker room in order to wait out the next hour. In the next hour, will be… Monday Night Raw.

a/n: Okay, now I'm finally ready to get on with the Raw chapter. I really feel like I could've gotten this little nuisance out of the way sooner. Sorry for the overly long wait, peeps. Well, now I'm off to write Raw. See ya's!

-P. Dizzle tha Grand Champion, signing off.

P.S. There's a specific woman wrestler I'm considering adding as a new Diva to the Raw roster, except not within either the Insurrexion, or McMahonism. You'll probably see her in the story somewhere down the line. But I'm not spilling who she is. That's something to wait for.


	14. More of This Raw Nonsense

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Oh… except for Christan. He's owned by Dixie Carter and Jeff Jarrett.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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a/n: Okay, peeps. I've made a decision. CM Punk's entrance theme song in this story will change at Unforgiven. And, um, based on my little Heat chapter's involvement in the entire picture, I know about the fact that Trish Stratus is going to be leaving WWE after Unforgiven. Any suggestions as to what I should do with her after Unforgiven for this story would be gladly appreciated.

EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk (and then "Blood Brother" after it anywhere after Summerslam), so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts. Oh, and as for the theme change thing above: I had originally planned for "This Fire Burns" to be the theme he'd switch to. So there's no point in it anymore.

**Chapter 14: More of This Raw Nonsense**

Date & Show: September 4, 2006, WWE Monday Night Raw

Immediately beginning this episode of Raw was the entire House of McMahonism (with the conspicuous exception of Edge and Lita) standing in the ring with the Corporate Ministry music playing in the background. Vincent Kennedy McMahon was on the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, or should I say, heathens and followers in McMahonism alike, (insert boos) I plan on introducing to you the man who should be the most pleased champion in WWE history. We originally had plans for a grand celebration for our WWE Heavyweight Champion Edge, but unfortunately, despite his girlfriend's obvious optimism and her best wishes, even he could not accept the art of partying, after the way that last week went down for McMahonists everywhere," Vince began to a loud mixed reaction. "DX played with our things, they spray-painted our people, and they stepped on our pride, all for their own personal enjoyment, for their own fun. They're a bunch of children in WWE contracts and wrestling adult bodies, damnit! (insert cheers) And this is what you have to hear from Mick Foley in a holy testament from the WWE studios in Stamford, Connecticut as a result of this! You shootheads in the production truck, roll the clip before I come down there and fire each and every single one of you!" (insert boos)

With a completely seething Mr. McMahon giving the order, the people in the truck did begin to roll a clip.

_The footage showed Mick Foley standing before us inside WWE studios in Stamford, Connecticut, as Vince McMahon siad, and his shirt had a noticeable green unhappy emoticon face on it with the Mankind mask covering part of the face._

_Mick: "As you all can see, I'm Mick Foley, and the shirt I'm wearing right now is as unhappy am I am. I have to make a statement right here addressing an event last week that was very personal to me. You see, last week, when Shane McMahon and I tried to take the Rated R Superstar gold convertible for a quick spin before the night was over, Shane McMahon started the car, and he and I ended up having to be plastered with the smelliest and slimiest green smoke I've ever known in my life. We wanted to take a ride. Instead, we took the embarrassment for Edge and Lita. What's worse is, my old pal the Rock was there, and by instructions from DX, he showed a picture of the Rated R gold car in its most desolate state. And even though Shane McMahon got cleaned up and changed his suit in time to come out and help out Edge once again by ensuring that our WWE Champion defeated his inferior old friend, Christian Cage, I still ended up having the back of my shirt spray-painted, branded, by that green slimy spray paint logo of D-Generation X. Obviously, my personal message will be directed towards D-Generation X. Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, and Trish Stratus. You four are the exact problem of what is wrong with this WWE's fan demographic. You prance around like a bunch of children, your actions solely to embarrass other people so as to feel better about yourselves, and rambling on about nothing through your actions rather than your words. Especially the two co-founders of DX, Triple H and Shawn Michaels. Last I recall, Triple H, you're in your upper 30s, and Shawn, you're in your lower 40s. The both of you were doing fine in your careers evolving from the Attitude era, and even in your current washed up states, you could outperform anyone in the WWE. Yet now you guys are running around, doing little sophomoric pranks and jokes, trying to relive your glory days at everybody's expense. And those people… no, those degenerate heathens who have the audacity to call themselves fans, actually cheer for you at your every little childish prank. Quite frankly, not only is this growing old, but as of August 28th, 2006, it's been haunting me! _(insert cheers and crowd laughter)_ The thought of me being branded like a piece of property, like a dumb sonofabitch! **Me! Mick Foley! A true family man! A loyal apostle of the great religion of McMahonism!** _(insert loud boos)_ **A man who has given all he has to this business, to being cemented as a Hardcore Legend! A man who's swallowed his teeth and lost his ear to the trash can while working for a terrible owner who happens to be a legendary wrestler except for the fact that he's a has-been! A man who's had to see a fan-made sign telling people to hit his then three-year-old son with a Singapore cane! - That's right! I still haven't forgotten about that "Cane Dewey" sign! -** And for me to have to stand here, and realize that I was tied up around my ankles and gagged in a boiler room, then spray-painted with another entity's name, branded inferior to that entity like an immediate piece of crap, is a thought that I have had trouble living down, despite being comforted by my wife, consoled by my kids, and uplifted by my McMahonism and New World Order friends, including the beautiful Melina of the nWo. _(insert mixed reaction)_ Do you understand me, DX? Do you understand me!? I've been having nightmares for a week of my life thinking about how I was branded, how me and my black Cactus Jack "Wanted Dead" shirt that I was wearing were treated like we were amounted to absolutely nothing, and we were treated like that by a bunch of degenerate wannabes! And yesterday, when Hulk Hogan phoned me, and he allowed my good friends MNM and Melina to speak to me, and Melina said the words, "Mick, I hope DX is the farthest thing from your mind," that's when I couldn't take it anymore. That's when I snapped! And when I snapped, I immediately hung up, and I called Vince McMahon, and I told him, "Vince! I want Triple H at Armageddon in an extreme rules match!" _(insert cheers)_ And then Vince McMahon asked me if I was sure, and he tried to plead me out of it, but no matter what he said or did, I still said, "Me! Triple H! Armageddon! Extreme Rules!" And he had to remind me that the next pay-per-view is actually called Unforgiven, and Armageddon is a Smackdown event in December. But in any case, he finally still gave me the match that I wanted. And I promise you, Triple H, you're about to step foot into the ring in thirteen days with the most violent sonofabitch on the face of the planet, the Hardcore Legend, "Cactus Jack" Mick Foley, once again! _(insert cheers)_ And after you bleed through every bone in your body, Helmsley, you greedy, heartless, cerebral and senile son of a bitch, and then after you get pinned by a man who you personally branded just weeks before, then let's see you try to have a nice day ever again! Yeah!"_

_As he said "Yeah!", he executed a tired thumbs up, and then the clip was done._

"Now, as you all just saw, this is what the immaturity of Triple H and D-Generation X can do to a man," Shane McMahon said on the mic, receiving boos for even speaking. "And I hope Triple H is ready to pay the price, because everyone here knows that when Mick Foley gets into that mode, he's no longer a cute and cuddly Dude Love style teddy bear, no no no. He becomes a mean jack. Cactus Jack! The toughest and the most hardcore S.O.B. you've ever seen in your entire God-forsaken lives, each and every one of you! (insert boos) You have to admit that! (boos continue) But in any case, now to introduce to you, the couple of "the Queen of Extreme" Lita and our WWE Heavyweight Champion, "the Rated R Superstar" Edge!"

"Metalingus" by Alterbridge then came on, after which Edge came out with the WWE Championship around his waist, and he ran across each side of the stage showing off his title. Once he got back to the center to walk down the ramp, Lita appeared out of the smoke and walked down with him, the couple holding hands while receiving boos all the way down. They then separated and slid into the ring together in their usual way, including Lita's waist being pressed against a kneeled Edge's face, before the Rated R Superstar got o a turnbuckle and raised the title high in the air, Lita signaling towards him as he accepted the jeers of the crowd with glorious pride. He then got a microphone from the ringside area and immediately started talking.

"Okay, cut the music," Edge instructed, being booed even further as the song stopped. "Let's just cut to the chase and get the picture straight. You see, people, I'm supposed to be celebrating. Lita and I are supposed to be feeling like we're on top of the world. I mean, for crying out loud, you pathetic ex-'Heads! I'm the WWE Heavyweight Champion! (insert boos) I have singlehandedly brought back order and McMahonism to the most prestigious championship in all of wrestling! Never has this magnificent strap around my waist been able to show its place as a true belt to behold since the day that quitting bitch JBL lost the title to a certain no-good thug named John Cena! And while we're on the subject of John Cena, let me remind young M-Cena and every single person in this building of a certain truth that I think he chooses to ignore and to neglect. You see, John Cena, when this is eventually over, Maria will stay as she was when this all began: together with CM Punk, and completely unassociated with you! Because CM Punk is a better athlete, a better star, and a better man than you any day of the week, just like me! And to my old pal Christian Cage: at Unforgiven, I'm gonna prove to you that the same thing that goes for John Cena, CM Punk, and Maria, also goes for you, me, and the WWE Championship! Just like Maria will stay Punk's girlfriend, this belt is staying with me at the end of the day, and no fake thugs or fake talk show hosts or fake cool people from the Insurrexion will never again know what it is to have a girlfriend or a championship belt by the time this is all over! (insert boos) And RVD, despite the fact that earlier tonight you beat Shelton Benjamin in a fatal 4-way to become #1 contender for the Intercontinental Championship, that applies for you too! Charlie Haas isn't a close friend or member of McMahonism, but even so, you will not win the Intercontinental Title at Unforgiven. And talking about Unforgiven, that takes us back to Christian Cage, who obviously still has yet to know exactly what kind of match his "charismatic" self is gonna be involved in. You see, Christian thinks that he's gonna team with Stacy Keibler in a women's pinfall match against me and Lita in which Stacy pinning the petal on my arm or forcing my lovely lady to tap out - like any of that would happen anyway - means Christian takes from me the one thing that means more to me than anyone or anything, with the very possible exception of Lita: this WWE Championship. (insert cheers) And I cannot have that inferior piece of crap who I carried for fifteen years beating me for the-"

And Edge suddenly stoped himself in the midst of speaking, because that damn music was starting up. "My Last Breath" by Evanescence, the theme music of Christian Cage. Christian came out in his TNA "got charisma?" shirt, which riled up the McMahons a little bit and helped the fans cheer for him. He stood at the stage, thumped his chest, and pointed a kiss at his peeps, before taking the microphone in his left hand and holding it up to speak.

"Scuse me, Edgemeister, but I… I wanted to come out here and to make a point. And that point is, that you proved last week why Stacy Keibler's gonna pin Lita at Unforgiven, and why I'm gonna take the WWE Championship from you in our own hometown of Toronto, Ontario, Canada! You see, the reason that this is gonna happen is because you and me, we're superior beings, but in terms of who's superior to the other, well let me put it to ya this way: when you put the Rated R Superstar and Captain Charisma on an even playing field, you, the so-called "big grasshopper" of the team, you cannot beat me," Christian stated, sending fans into a frenzy of cheers.

"What do you mean I can't beat you? Last I recall, last time we were in the same match before you made your little "comeback", who was the winner? Me!" Edge pointed out. "And it just happened to be the Money in the Bank ladder match that Matt Hardy claims he was supposed to be in!"

"Oh, yeah. That match wasn't just you and me. It also included our old buddy Chris Jericho, that pathetic loser Shelty B - who back in 2004 had to crap-feed my Peeps with a complete farce of a speech in order to steal my votes at Taboo Tuesday - the Big Red Freak, and Chris Benoit. Anybody can win a six-man ladder match," Christian retorted.

"You think it's complete luck just because it's the one you couldn't win? Last I recall, after we dropped Gangrel's gothic image, I won every ladder match I've ever competed in! You haven't! You only won every _tag team_ ladder match you've ever competed in, all in which you were associated with someone cooler than you, like me! You never could win a ladder match on your own!" Edge countered with a grin on his face, leading to more crowd disapproval. "And if you want a pure example of what I'm talking about, remember when you betrayed me because you were jealous of my success and you couldn't accept that you were a complete failure? (insert "ohhh"s) Yeah, who came out of that feud the Intercontinental Champion? Not you, Christian! Me!"

"I did beat you for the title, by the way, you had to take it back," Christian pointed out. "Oh, and who came back to beat who for the World Tag Team Titles, and then carried them over from Smackdown to Raw, where they've been to this day in which they are held by the Chain Gang? Last I recall, that was me! And my tag team partner wasn't as well-renowned as yours. I teamed with my good friend, fellow Canadian Lance Storm, whereas you had to pair up with your hero, Hulk Hogan. And you still couldn't beat me!" (insert cheers)

"Two things, Christian: that wasn't one-on-one, and that wasn't even-ended: you had to win by interference from your pal Chris Jericho. Isn't that right?" Edge reminded him, again being booed for making a point against the Peeps Master.

"Yeah, well let me explain to you how this shindig works, Edge. I've made you look sad every time we've beefed. And I'm including when I first got here to the WWE. All I had to do was show up, and you didn't even know I was aligned with Gangrel, and you were distracted out of your boots like I was some long lost ex-girlfriend or something. Just like that, that's how you let Owen Hart beat you in an awesome match at Breakdown '98! And do I have to remind you, that fateful day when we met? My first day at your elementary school in Kitchener? We were both fifth graders. I heard the name "Adam Copeland", and I looked at you and barely paid attention. You heard the name "Jason Reso", and you saw me raise my hand. Who, Edge, approached who because he was impressed with whose actually having possession of Ninja Stars?"

"That's fifth grade, Christian. That's kiddie stuff," Edge said, trying to pass it off as such.

"You approached me because you were impressed with the fact that I had Ninja Stars on me! You, Edge, were impressed by me before we ever even talked to each other! I was worth more than you then, I'm worth more than you now, and I'm gonna prove it at Unforgiven when Stacy pins Lita-"

"Speaking of that, Christian, just like you think you know me, I said you _think_ you and Stacy are facing me and Lita in a women's fall match where the women determine the fate of mu WWE Championship. See, you're wrong. You and Stacy aren't even facing me and Lita. You and Stacy Keibler are gonna take on the mixed gender tag team of me, the WWE Heavyweight Champion Edge, and the WWE Women's Champion, Mickie James! (insert mixed reaction) And this match is gonna be a "one title changes hands" mixed tag team match. Which means, if the women - in this case, Stacy Keibler and Mickie James - are legal in the final decision, only the Women's Championship can change hands based on the decision. Meanwhile, if you and I are legal in the final decision, only my WWE Title can change hands. You're getting either a new Women's Champion, a new WWE Champion, or both the same champions! (insert boos) It's either or neither, Christian. Not both."

"Well, that only works better, Edgeward. Because now I know what's gonna happen at Unforgiven. See, it's gonna go practically the exact same way it went back when I beat that jackass who constantly wears white pants to become the NWA World Heavyweight Champion in a reign more impressive than both of your WWE Championship reigns combined!" Christian proclaimed, much to the glee of these fans. "Mickie James is gonna go up top and try to give me a hurracanrana, I'm gonna counter it with a snap powerbomb, (insert small cheers) I'm gonna walk towards you and you're gonna try to get me in Edgecution, and I'm gonna counter out of it and give you the Unprettier instead, (insert small cheers) and I'm gonna pin you 1, 2, 3, and become the WWE Heavyweight Champion! (insert cheers) And after the announcement is made, all of my Peeps in our hometown of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, the very place where we grew up and where I later on ended our tag team alliance by beating you in the head with a chair, (insert cheers) are gonna storm the ring and lift me up in the air like a true hero, and you're gonna be lucky if they don't trample all over you like a complete jackass, and you're gonna be forced to stand there with the same fake smile as your personal whore (insert cheers as Lita vehemently denies such claims and shouts obscenities at Cage) clapping your hands and showing me either real or fabricated respect, because-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a minute, Christian! You're a chumpstain! You're a joke! For the longest time while you were in WWE, all you could talk about is being Captain Charisma, thinking you're cool, and having imaginary fans you call Peeps! What in the hell makes you so sure that anything you just said is gonna happen anyway? Until that one sudden fluke at TNA, you never could get over your horny devices and counter a girl's hurracanrana, so right there, the very first part of that statement is wrong!" Edge pointed out.

"Well, now that you mention it, Edge, that's exactly why I'm gonna beat your ass when we go back home at Unforgiven," Christian confusingly stated

"Why, because you're a horny, self-deluded, Creepy Little Bastard?" Edge quipped happily.

"No! Because I'm Captain Charisma!" Christian stated profoundly, holding up the microphone so that the fans could say the last word: "Bitch!" As Cage's music finally came on, he thumped his chest and pointed to his wildly cheering fans once again, then walked away to the back, leaving Edge to fume along with the rest of the McMahonists, including his girlfriend.

Minutes later, all of them had finally left to the back, with the exception of Shane McMahon, who was still in the ring.

"Last week, the Chairman of the Board, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, stated that the two members of the Undertaker's newest incarnation of the Ministry of Darkness that he got from the Raw roster would be revealed on Smackdown, and that they would make the first of their sporadic Raw appearances in order to challenge the Chain Gang's Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku for the World Tag Team Championships. That takes us straight to our Smackdown Rebound. Roll the footage!"

_Once this happened, we went into our Smackdown Rebound, which showed at first images of the Ministry and the nWo from old days, with Cole and JBL talking about how new incarnations of those two factions would be facing off in the ring. Then, out came to the nWo music Scott Hall, leading to many shocked cheers and a surprised Michael Cole shouting out the words, "It's Scott Hall!"_

"_Hulk Hogan and the rest of the nWo Hollywood Future hasn't made it to the arena yet, so I just decided to come out here. Hey, yo! Undertaker! Show yourself and show us who your Ministry are, right now!"_

_The Dark Bell then rang, and Scott Hall got his answer, the Ministry members being revealed one by one, standing behind Undertaker: they were ECW's Kevin Thorn (with Ariel) and Gangrel, and Raw's Kane and Viscera!_

"_These soldiers will lead an uprising of darkness against your New World Order, which in the end will rest… in… peace!" Undertaker declared, before he quickly extended his arms forward and set off something from underneath the ring which started a ringside inferno._

_From his office, Teddy Long later said the following to Hulk Hogan after he led the nWo into Teddy's office:_

"_Alright, Hulkster: I'll tell you what you got. See, tonight, your brand new nWo's gonna have the opportunity to draw first blood. Representing the nWo will be Randy Orton and Scott Hall. And representing the Ministry will be Kevin Thorn and the Undertaker!"_

_Footage of this match will be detailed via the commentary._

_Cole: "The Undertaker promised that his new Ministry of Darkness is gonna put an end to this New World Order, which Hulk Hogan brought back to life with the intention of leading Smackdown into a "Hollywood Future". This tag team match, with the Undertaker and ECW's Kevin Thorn against Randy Orton and Scott Hall, is to draw first blood._

_JBL: "These guys are putting it all out there. This is truly going to be a magnificent faction war between the Ministry and the nWo."_

_Cole: "Undertaker's got him goozled up! Oh, and a thumb to the eye by Randy Orton, which he quickly follows up with that inverted back breaker!"_

_JBL: "The New World Order is running wild!"_

_Cole: "The Undertaker's gaining momentum! It could be the end for the nWo tonight! But there's Scott Hall, Razor Ramon right there breaking up the three count."_

_JBL: "What is that illegal vampire-looking guy from ECW, Kevin Thorn doing!?"_

_Cole: "He's taking Scott Hall out of the match! … This could be it! Undertaker's signaling for a Tombstone. But what's Brooke Hogan doing on the apron?"_

_JBL: "Look over there, you fruit booty!"_

_Cole: "It's Chavo! And he just rolled Ariel into the ring, but why!? … Oh, my god. Oh, no! He just hit the Gory Bomb on Ariel!"_

_JBL: "She was ugly anyway!"_

_Cole: "And that assault just distracted the Undertaker. RKO by Randy Orton! No! Not this way!"_

"_Here are your winners, Scott Hall and Randy Orton, n.W.o.!"_

_Cole: "The nWo steals one! … And Kevin Thorn's cleaning house on Hall and Orton! But here comes MNM and Melina!"_

_JBL: "Finally, this guy gets what's coming to him. Vampires don't win in this business!"_

_Cole: "Snapshot by MNM on Kevin Thorn! Kane, Gangrel, and Viscera are taking a steel chair assault from Mark Henry and now Chavo backstage, and now that damn Hogan's out here! … And an Atomic Leg Drop to Thorn! Another Leg Drop, this time for the Undertaker! For Friday Night Smackdown, the New World Order's Hollywood Future has just reached dawn. This is sickening!"_

_JBL: "Nobody can stop the nWo!"_

_Hogan: "4 life!"_

"Now, we just figured out that the nWo on Smackdown is unstoppable, and that the Ministry has got two guys who have a chance at taking the World Tag Team Championship away from the Chain Gang, after which they just might never be on Raw again. Personally, I don't care. We McMahons own all three brands, and I'd do anything to get rid of the Chain Gang having any kind of status," Shane announced. "So, without further ado, from the Undertaker's new Ministry of Darkness, please welcome the #1 contenders for the World Tag Team Championship, Viscera and Kane!"

After that, "Slow Chemical" by Finger Eleven came on immediately following a burst of flame at the stage, and out came Kane and Viscera to an eerie red lighting scene, and actually quite a bit of cheering. Viscera, still wearing a pair of "wrestling pajamas", used the steps and ropes to get into the ring, while Kane just got on the apron directly and went over the ropes to get in, then reset the lights via setting off his flaming pyro at the four corners of the ring. After his music died out, the Chain Gang theme came on, following which Taka Michinoku and Matt Hardy came out and bumped knuckles while walking out, then Matt raised his V1 handsign as they walked down the ramp. The two Chain Gang soldiers both then used the steps and ropes, Matt first, to get in the ring, then Matt went to lean on the ropes and throw up his V1 sign again, while Taka came on a turnbuckle and raised his arms out high and wide. Both men were severely cheered as they did their entrances, and then the bell finally rang.

Everyone by now could figure out that the Chain Gang's Hardy and Taka were at a serious size disadvantage against Kane and Viscera. Both teams discussed among themselves who would start the action, and it was soon decided on the old rivals Hardy and Kane. Matt stepped up to Kane and exchanged some words with him, following which he extended a hand to the Big Red Monster. Kane accepted the handshake, after which Matt Hardy quickly attacked Kane rights and left, before finally leveling him with a right hand discus punch, which caused him to stagged backwards a bit as Matt ran off the ropes and came at Kane with a running forearm/elbow strike. Kane stagged back a little further, after which Matt backed up, then dashed forward at Kane, only to get tossed over Kane's back across the apron. Matt did manage to hang on and get back onto the apron, however, but instead of anything good coming of it, he ended up getting assaulted in the jaw by an uppercut from Kane as soon as the seven-footer turned around. Matt was sent off the apron right near the announcer's table, after which Viscera came down from the apron and picked up Matt, set him on the table, gave him a huge slap to the chest, then picked him up and rolled him into the ring.

Kane took Hardy and irishwhipped him, then went for a clothesline, but Hardy ducked it, and courtesy of Taka, Kane quickly ended up the recipient of a missile dropkick off the top rope. Taka then quickly left the ring, allowing for Matt Hardy to get an elbow drop on Kane. Matt then got up and delivered a quick leg drop to the Big Red Machine. After this, he covered Kane, who powered out after the count of two. As soon as Kane got up on both feet (but not to a full vertical base) Hardy grabbed his head, then hit him with several knees to the head of Kane. Once done with this assault, Matt hit Kane with a dropkick to the lower legs, causing Kane to fall down on hit knees. After this, Taka came into the ring without warning and managed to bypass the referee's admonishment in order to dropkick Kane in the side of the head. Matt then barely managed to drag Kane away from the ropes, and then to hook his leg for a cover. Again, Kane kicked out emphatically after two. Matt then got up, gave Kane a quick knee to the head to keep him down, then tagged in Taka, who slingshot over the ropes to hit a senton to the back of Kane. He then hit a quick legdrop on the back of Kane's neck, following which he instructed Hardy to get down. Once Matt did so, he dragged Kane's legs down to the outside, though Kane was able to land on his feet. Matt quickly dodged a Kane clothesline and ran off a little bit, and as soon as Kane ended up within range, Taka hit him with a baseball slide, knocking him back into the security rail. Taka then ran off the ropes on the opposite side and made a suicide dive through the ropes onto Kane, both men hitting the railing! As a result, both Kane and Taka were down, and the referee began his ring out count. The show ended up going to a commercial break

Once that commercial break was over, Matt Hardy and Taka were both in the ring, with Kane in the corner. They managed to set him up seated on the top turnbuckle. After this, Taka ran off the ropes, and Matt backtossed him as high as he could, so that he ended up on Kane's shoulders. Once this happened, Taka crossed his legs, then saulted down, taking Kane down in a frankensteiner off the top! Taka then quickly left the ring, after which Hardy made the cover. 1… 2… no! Kane still kicked out, and not tiredly either! Hardy got up, and immediately went to punch away at Kane, back, before he shot forward with his arms and ripped Hardy away from him before getting up once he did so, he irishwhipped Matt into one of the neutral corners, then charged at him with a huge clothesline within that corner, following which he took him with one hand and hit him with a sidewalk slam. Kane then went to the Ministry corner and tagged in Viscera, who came into the ring, bounced off the ropes, and immediately nailed that huge splash of his on Matt Hardy, following which he got off him, turned him over, and then started riding on his back with the Viscagra! It was an embarrassing yet entertaining move, as painful as it was for Matt Hardy. Vis then picked up Matt Hardy, took both of his hands by the neck, but could not hit the Embalmer, because Hardy had determination. Matt gave Viscera several forearms/elbows to the head, then hit him with a hard kick to the gut, forcing him to let go. However, he then hooked his arms and locked his head in, then dove forward and hit a very sloppy-looking Side Effect takedown on Viscera. After this, Hardy made the cover on Viscera. 1… 2… no! The 500-pound World's Largest Love Machine (if he can still call himself that while in Taker's Ministry) was able to power out of it immediately after the two was heard! As Hardy looked on flustered, Viscera was able to get up. Hardy quickly did so and came charging at Viscera, but ended up getting bieled to the outside.

However, this match was not going to last long, as Edge suddenly appeared with a steel chair, came into the ring, and pelted Viscera straight in the face with it as soon as Big Vis turned around. Edge then gave the wobbly big man another chair shot, sending him stumbling back, through the middle and top rope, falling down flat on the outside. Kane then came into the ring, and Edge immediately hit him in the gut, then in the back, then in the head with that chair, leveling him down. Taka got into the ring, and Edge saw it and immediately shot him with what sounded like the hardest of steel chair shots, which actually caused the chair to get bent over. Edge then dragged Taka all the way down to outside the ring, then carried Taka and set him down on the announcers' table. He then helped Matt Hardy up, as the black-haired North Carolinian was having trouble rising to his feet on his own, but not with honest purposes. Instead, he flapjacked Hardy onto the table with Taka already on it, driving both Chain Gang tag partners right through the table, and one right through the other! As Edge's music then came on, he rubbed his hands so as to say that business was just handled, then left through the crowd. And lucky for him that he did, because he apparently didn't even know that John Cena was making a bee-line towards that area and sending the fans into a frenzy. And for some reason, his music played, which meant he still didn't know that until he turned around and saw Cena. He then laughed at the leader of the Chain Gang for being unable to protect his soldiers from such an unfortunate assault, as well as for being unable to protect himself from something else: CM Punk, who had just arrived from behind Cena, turned him around, and hit him with a Uranage slam, into that Anaconda Vice submission grip. While Cena refused to tap out because of his typical fighting spirit, he was brought into major pain, and could do nothing about this submission even into the commercial break.

During the break, Maria had finally gotten down and forced Punk to let go of John Cena, who probably wasn't going to be there next week now. Now they were walking through the back, trying to find their locker room.

"CM, why do you have to keep doing this? Please, tell me!" Maria pleaded with him for an explanation.

"It's the exact same thing I've been saying this whole time, alright!?" Punk yelled, his head suddenly snapping towards Maria. He saw her scared face, then immediately sighed in regret, before taking her into a convincingly loving embrace. "Look, Ria. I'm sorry I just yelled at you, but… I just don't understand. Why won't you believe me about John?"

"Because he used to be my best friend out of all the stars and studs in the entire locker room," Maria explained somberly.

"Babe, I… I'm sorry," CM finally apologized. "But what am I supposed to think? He's a guy, who sees how beautiful you are inside and out, and who likes to be street because he thinks it's cool. I don't know him that well, and he's admitted to being in love with you. Even if it wasn't his intention from the start, you can't tell me not to think he is or will be trying to take you away from me, or not to act on it."

"I know, I know! But like you just said, you guys don't know each other that well. Don't you think that you should try and go talk to him or something?" Maria suggested.

"Maria, it's not that simple. I never liked or trusted the stench of that man, and I probably never will. To think that I could lose you to him… I just can't," CM admitted to both Maria and himself.

Meanwhile, in Vince McMahon's office…

"What the hell was that!?" Vince yelled, berating the WWE Champion Edge, who was standing before him. "We had a tag team with a clear path to pummeling Matt Hardy and Taka, and taking the World Tag Titles away from them! What were you thinking!?"

"Mr. McMahon, I was thinking about Raw!" Edge replied immediately. "If the Ministry took the tag team titles, they could easily end up losing it to somebody from Smackdown, like the nWo, and Raw would never see the titles again!"

"What do I care about that!? I'm Vincent Kennedy McMahon, the WWE Chairman, and the God of McMahonism! I own both Raw and Smackdown, _and_ ECW! And I would give my left arm for that whining batallion they actually call a Chain Gang to lose those tag team titles if I had to! And now it looks like I will have to!"

"No: you won't!" Edge shot back, surprising the boss. "See, I have an awesome idea by which we could easily claim the tag team championship for our own. Here's what we'll do. First, next week, you put Taka Michinoku one on one in the ring against me, after which I will kick the crap out of him and force him out of action. After that, it's over for that tag team. Taka has to relinquish his tag team championship. Then, in two weeks on Raw, Matt has to find somebody who wants to team up with his whining ass. And trust me, unless it's that brother of his, who practically died three years ago, or somebody else like Taka who can be the sizzle to his state, there's no way in hell that he can beat this supreme tag team combination I've got in mind."

"And who? Who's the supreme tag team combination you've got in mind?" Shane asked somewhat angrily.

"Shane, it's funny you ask. One of the partners is a guy who came to me about a losing streak, after which I gave him a couple tips, including to keep his head up," Edge began to detail. "And trust me: he knows what it takes now to get back on top of the picture. As for the other guy? Well, Shane, it's you…"

"What!?" Shane shot, in surprise and seemingly in protest, until a smile started creeping up on his face. "You mean-"

"Yep. I can see it now," Edge boasted with a smile that became contagious to the McMahons. "(imitating a ring announcer) Here are your winners, and the new World Tag Team Champions, Shelton Benjamin and Shane McMahon! (end imitation) What do you think?"

"You know what, Edge? I think that reeks of awesomeness," Shane said, after which Edge had to throw on a little laugh.

In the midway point of the night, Mickie James' music came on, after which she came down the ramp jumping and skipping as usual, with Candice Michelle walking right behind her, ready for this diva tag team match. Once down the ramp, both ladies slid into the ring this time, Mickie going on the top turnbuckle and screaming with her hands up as usual, and Candice leaning bent over on the second rope right next to her, blowing on her magic wand as she did so. Despite the McMahonism affiliation, the two women did get some cheers, simply because of their attractiveness. After this, "Legs" by Kid Rock came on, and out came Stacy Keibler and Victoria, both looking good as well as ready to rumble. Neither did any antics while walking down the ramp, and while Victoria used the steel steps and cross the ropes normally to get into the ring, followed by raising her hands in trademark manner, Stacy got directly on the apron and crossed the ropes slowly in order to show off her 41½-inch legs as usual. After this, both teams got in their corners, and the match was set to begin.

Stacy and Mickie both went to the apron, meaning the former Vince's Devils in the match would start the action. However, that was quickly proven wrong, for as soon as Victoria stepped towards Candice, the GoDaddy Women decided to tag in Mickie James. As soon as Mickie stepped into the ring, however, they locked up in a grapple. As the stronger Victoria pushed Mickie back into her corner, Candice blind tagged herself back into the match and Mickie reversed the position, holding Victoria in the corner while Candice stomped at her gut. Mickie went back to the apron after the first of those stomp kicks, but with each one, Victoria was seated lower and lower, until she was on the floor in the corner. That's when Candice used her knee to squeeze Victoria's head in between knee and turnbuckle, until the referee started his count, after which Candice let go. The GoDaddy Woman then dragged Victoria out from the corner, and then did her trademark GoDaddy dance, stimulating a few of the male fans before dropping an elbow on Victoria and covering her. Victoria kicked out after two. Candice then pulled Victoria closer to the corner, then tagged in Mickie James.

Mickie got into the ring, and both women picked up Victoria, following which they hit her with a double team suplex. James then covered Victoria, who kicked out after the count of two. Mickie picked up Victoria, and shot her with a forearm, following which she irishwhipped the Vicious Vixen, and greeted her return by taking her up and hitting her with a backbreaker. Mickie then lifted Victoria into a seated position, then ran off the ropes and came back to hit her with a dropkick to the head. However, Victoria immediately laid on her back before getting hit, then raised herself up when Mickie was within range and got her in a cover! 1… 2… no! Mickie James kicked out, and then both she and Victoria quickly got up. James swung towards Victoria for a clothesline, but Victoria was able to duck it, get behind Mickie, and pick her up and drop her with a rolling backdrop suplex! After this, Victoria and James both got up to a vertical base, and Mickie hit Victoria with a spinning back kick to the midsection, followed by a front kick to the chest. She tried to follow that up with a spinning back kick to the face, but Victoria caught the leg and flipped her over to she fell on her back!

Victoria then went over to her corner and tagged in Stacy Keibler, who came in as James was getting up. Stacy ran at Mickie and hit her with a clothesline. Mickie quickly got back up, and took another clothesline from Keibler. Mickie got up again, and Stacy gave her a knife edge chop to the pectorial region, following which she irishwhipped her and tried to toss her over for a back body drop, but James instead leapt over Keibler's back and got her in a sunset flip pin. After the count of two, Stacy reversed it into a rana cover, but Mickie re-reversed it after two. Stacy reversed it again after the count of two, and that's when Candice got in the ring and kicked Stacy in the face, causing it to be reversed again. However, Victoria got off the apron and before the ref could hit three, pulled Stacy out of that pinning predicament, and then out of the ring. After a brief check-in between partners, Victoria rolled Stacy back into the ring. Mickie James then tried to take advantage of the apparent mistake to go down and cover Stacy, but in very much the same way that Rob Van Dam got the job done a few hours ago, Stacy reversed it into a small package, and Mickie stayed down for the 1, 2, 3!

"Here are your winners, Stacy Keibler and Victoria!"

The fans got loud as Stacy once again pinned the WWE Women's Champion, apparently holding some kind of edge over her. As Victoria joined Stacy in the ring and raised her arm in victory, Candice suddenly struck Keibler from behind the minute their backs were turned. She then tried to go after Victoria with a right hand, but Victoria blocked it and held onto Candice's wrist, after which the follower of McMahonism looked scared and tried to plead her way out of the predicament. However, she ended up kicked in the midsection, lifted up 270 degrees, and dropped in Victoria's special Gory neckbreaker, the Widow's Peak! After this, Victoria raised her arms up in her usual trademark fashion, and her music came on, much to the glee of the once again pro-Insurrexion crowd. After this, she got on one of the turnbuckles and waved a kiss to the fans, following which she came down and helped Stacy Keibler up. The still-stunned James got Candice out of the ring, while Victoria tended to Stacy and eventually celebrated with her in the ring.

After the next few minutes, Victoria and Keibler were in the Chain Gang locker room, tending to the three bruised soldiers that are Cena, Hardy, and Michinoku. The girls were applying ice packs to the parts where each of the guys hurt the most, and then there was a knock on the door.

"Come on in, the door's open!" Stacy invited, Victoria looking at her a little questioningly. The person that took that invitation and entered was Todd Grisham.

"Hey, Todd. Good to see you," Stacy greeted him hospitably.

"Hi, Stace. Same here. I see you and Victoria are helping the guys heal up. Is Cena okay for me to get a word with him?" Todd asked, cutting to the chase.

"We're supposed to be helping the boys ice up their bruises here. What are you doing letting-"

"Vic, it's alright. I got this," Cena cut into Victoria's complaint as he picked himself up, evidently struggling in the neck and shoulder area thanks to that sudden Anaconda Vice from before. He walked up to Todd Grisham, sucking up the pain in his neck.

"Well, I can't talk loud, or it might sting my neck a lil' bit, but then again, we don't need to talk loud," Cena explained first of all as he came up past the girls to Grisham. "So, Todd Grisham. I know you got questions, so shoot away."

"Thanks. Now, as we just saw, during the tag team championship match pairing up the World Tag Team Champions behind you against the Undertaker's Ministry of Darkness members Kane and Viscera, that Edge and CM Punk came from out of nowhere in a strategic assault and laid Kane, Viscera, and all three of you. Obviously, from the looks of it, you guys are, um… not in the best spot. But how's about letting the Chain Gang in on the condition and the toughts of its lead and main soldiers?" Todd asked.

"Well, first of all, I'd like to comment that for once you didn't try too hard to make yourself look cool," Cena began his response.

"Thanks. So, I'm finally gettin' the hang of this job now?" Todd asked.

"Now you're tryin' way too hard to get the game right, so shut up," Cena replied. "Anyway, back to the point. So apparently CM Punk and Edge got it all figured out. They're gonna jump us from behind in the middle of a tag team title match. Well, I don't know about Edge, but as far as Punk-ass? That just goes to show ya what McMahonism can do to a guy. See, I don't like CM Punk. And I probably never will. But I respect him, because of how hard he works, because of what he represents when he's not a jealous jackass, and because he makes Maria happy. The problem is, now I gotta beat it into his head that I care about Maria on a level by which I can accept not bein' wit' her if she's with someone else that I can respect and that, like I said, makes Maria happy. And he's equally motivated to try and beat it into my head that he wants her nowhere near me because he thinks I'll steal her from him, when we all know the kiss-stealer on Raw is Ric Flair - shoutouts to the Nature Boy, by da way - and the girl-stealer on Raw is none other than CM Punk's new best friend, the WWE Heavyweight Champion, Edge. And that's where the chaos lies. In any case, we're done for tonight, cause we obviously gotta heal up from that cheap shot they took at us. But next week, the in-ring assault batallion of the Chain Gang will be loud in livin' color, as my Japanese boy behind me, Taka Michinoku, takes on said WWE Heavyweight Champion, Victoria teams with Trish Stratus of D-Generation X to take on the skankeroo job of a ho train that is Lita and Candice Michelle, and I team up wit' my boy, Shawn Michaels of D-Generation X, to take on the combined forces of CM Punk and Umaga. All I gots to say to Vince McMahon and the bulk of his cult in the back is this: get ready to feel the fury of cornered soldiers. For that is the only fury beyond that of a woman scorned. Word Life!"

"H… h-hold on, hold on, hold on," Matt Hardy cut in, sitting on the bench while favoring his ribs. Todd came over to him and gave him the microphone. "Now, I saw that video for the new team that's coming to Raw in about a month or so, Cryme Tyme. And I just want to say, to both JTG and Shad Gaspard, that I promise you, upon your arrival, that the World Tag Team Championships will stay in the Chain Gang, and you will not be able to take it from us without a fight. But one piece of advice to one of you, specifically JTG; whether you're wrestling for tag team titles or robbing a jewely store, smoothie shop, whereever it is, in the fastest time possible, one way you can succeed is to not stop at a careless point in the middle of your actions to give shoutouts to your homeys. Hey John, I'm still having some trouble saying this."

"It's a'ight," Cena shrugged it off.

"Wait a minute," Todd began to gripe. "You… you let… Matt Hardy-"

"He's Matt Hardy. You're a robot-I mean, an announcer. There's a difference," Cena cut him off.

"Anyway, JTG can shout out to his homeys all he wants, but he'd better understand the job isn't finished until it's finished," Matt continued. "Especially against me. Matt Hardy. The Indestructible Soul. The Man Who Will… Not… Die. And that's just a word of advice from Version One."

Once it came near main event time, Trish Stratus and Christian Cage were walking down the hallway looking to get to the Gorilla position so that they could come out for their intergender tag team main event tonight.

"So, Christian. Are you ready to go kick some ass together with me one more time?" Trish asked Christian in reference to the past.

"One more time. It's funny you should say that," Christian surprisingly replied.

"What do you mean?" a confused Trish asked.

"I called Jeff about five minutes after Shawn Michaels did earlier tonight. He told me you may be planning on retiring after Unforgiven," Christian explained.

"Oh! Is that so?" Trish asked, surprised to see he knew.

"Yeah, that's what he said," Christian answered.

"Well, um… I'm sorry to disappoint you, Christian, but… he's right. I'm currently mulling over my career past Unforgiven," Trish finally revealed. "But speaking of which, in case one of us isn't here again after Unforgiven, I just want to say to you personally, that you're one of the coolest people I've ever met. It was after hanging out with you and Edge and the 3 Xtreme after the shows that I truly started to feel like I belonged here."

"And you did. You proved it, whether with or without me. Look at you, Trish. You're still in the prime of your career, and already you're regarded as the greatest Women's Champion of all time," Christian praised her. "But seriously, what did you expect? I'm Captain Charisma. You think I got that from switching to the personality of a dried prune every time I'm gonna go out and wrestle just because I'm afraid I won't take my job seriously if I don't, like Lance Storm? No. You think I got that from being a pathetic excuse for a British ambassador like William Regal, who went from drinking people's piss to kissing people's ass to butlering people's mentally challenged nephews-"

"Eugene isn't that bad," Trish cut in to object.

"Yeah, but he was never my best friend," Christian reminded her. " Anyway, from all that to being forced to dress like a buxom wench to playing the role of kiss-ass town crier to a false king whose ass I've been known to beat continuously? You think I got Captain Charisma from being like William Regal? Ah-ah. You think I got Captain Charisma from being a corporate bodyguard who tries and fails to successfully love and marry the boss's daughter and then goes on to become a womanizing straight bully like Test? I don't think so."

"First of all, don't slag Test. He was my first friend in the locker room. Secondly, you almost went down that path yourself," Trish said in Test's defense.

"Yeah, but I didn't," Christian replied. "In any case, Trish: as much better as I am than my fellow ex-members of the Un-Americans, I can't say I'm that much better than you 'cause I think you're as cool as me. I like you better than anyone else here. And if this is our last opportunity to hang out or do something together, then I want to make this a blast all over Edge's face."

"Thanks, but about that last time hanging out thing, Christian… I don't know. I might ask you to give your Peeps the pleasure of seeing us kiss for old times' sake," Trish teased.

"When, right now?" he grinned as he asked.

"No! At Unforgiven! In our hometown in Toronto! In front of the people who've known us forever! Can't you take a hint?" Trish, disappointed, corrected him.

"Aw, come on!" Christian complained.

"What? It's just thirteen days. If at that time we both feel like that would be a really good moment, and our attachments are okay with it, then yeah," Trish proposed.

"You just told me why it's not gonna happen."

"What?"

"Why would our attachments be okay with it?"

"Oh yeah, good point."

Just minutes later: "You think you know me."

Obviously, this was the start of "Metalingus", the entrance music of Edge. Flamethrowers ignited at the edge of the ramp just before the Rated R Superstar and his girlfriend came out of the smoke and did their usual dance-like pose, receiving a mixed reaction consisting mostly of rambunctious boos before walking down the ramp, each with an arm around the other's waist. They dropped the position once down the ramp, after which they both slid into the ring in the usual manner, except the waist on the face thing was abandoned this week. They just both went on turnbuckles and posed proudly, before Edge's music died out. After this, the song of Trish came on, and out she came, pointing to the sky at the stage, before walking down the ramp pointing to the now cheering crowd. She then climbed the steps, got on the apron, but stopped right after that as her music died out. After this, Christian's theme came on, and out he came after the first ten seconds, scanning the area of his now cheering peeps. Wearing his red and golden "4 the Peeps CC" jumpsuit for the first time in WWE, he soon began walking and thumped his chest to his fans once he got to the ramp. He walked down it with confidence, and slid into the ring himself, after which he held the middle rope down for Trish. She then entered the ring, and as she stood in the ring and pointed up high as usual, the Peepulation Master got on the turnbuckle, started out scanning once more, but then swiftly took the hood off and pointed a kiss to part of said Peepulation, before thumping his chest and pointing towards all the other fans there. With Edge and Lita watching intently, he finally got off the turnbuckle and conversed with Trish as far as who would start first. Edge and Lita tentatively climbed the steel steps on the other side, and crossed the apron to enter the ring.

Shortly after the bell rang, it was Christian Cage that went back to the apron first, meaning that Edge had to go to the apron and allow Lita to fight Trish. Both of the women, old friends and bitter rivals from the minute Trish first came to what was then the Federation, got in each other's faces and started talking smack. With a quick slap from Lita, it soon evolved into a legitimate tradeoff battle of right hands between the two girls. Lita was soon the first to go down, after which she got up in the corner, and Trish got in a chest chop to Lita. Trish then hit another chest chop, and began to lick her hand before going for a third one as she usually does. However, Lita shoved Trish away before that could happen. Trish charged right back in and took a stomp kick to the gut from Lita, sending her falling backwards. Lita then got out of the corner and picked up Trish, following which she quickly got her in a drop toe hold. Lita then came down to Trish and got her in a front facelock, before picking her up and lifting her for a vertical suplex. However, Trish landed on her feet, ran off the ropes behind her, and hit Lita with a running forearm as the redhead turned around. After Lita got up, Trish irishwhipped her and gave her an arm drag. Lita then got back up, came at Trish, and took another arm drag. After that, she got up again, but stopped herself from running forward. After this, the two women circles the ring, until Lita backed up towards Edge and tagged in her boyfriend. Edge came into the ring as Trish tagged in Christian and he quickly charged after his old friend before Captain Charisma could enter the ring in a rare heel strategic moment. Edge then enjoyed a brief few moments of copying Christian's chest thumping motion, which infuriated Trish into stepping into the ring and getting into an argument with the referee. Edge then quickly slid out of the ring and picked Christian up violently as he was slowly rising to his feet. Edge then hit Christian with a right hand, and a right forearm shot, after which he took Christian's head and shoved it down into the steel steps. By now, Lita had joined the argument between Trish and the ref in order to keep it going longer and more solidly.

As Christian was down, Edge laughed at the fans that were booing right before him, then picked up Christian and rolled him into the ring, before getting on the apron and stepping in himself. In that process, he then tapped Trish's ass, causing Lita to come over to Edge with a questioning look as well as causing Trish to turn at him with a sneer while he grinned at her. He then made a comment about that being all the action she gets these days, after which she went for a slap, but Edge blocked it, then took her by the head and sent her over the top to the outside. Lita went back to her team's side of the apron as commanded, but Edge stood over Trish grinning. He turned back around, however, and quickly received a spinning heel kick from Christian Cage. Both Edge and Christian then got up after a few seconds, and the two friends once again turned rivals already got into a heated exchange of simultaneous right hands, which Christian quickly took the advantage in, after which he irishwhipped Edge and met his return with a missile dropkick. Christian then covered Edge. 1, 2, and the Rated R Superstar kicked out. Christian then picked up Edge, kicked him in the gut, got him in a front facelock, lifted him up, then sent his stomach into the ropes, before going down on his back and kicking Edge's head from below! Edge ended up going over the ropes and barely touching the apron, landing hard on the outside. Cage then got up and ran off the opposite ropes, not noticing that Trish tagged herself in, and ran back to where Edge just fell from, seemingly to dive on there. That is, until he saw Lita keep Edge down and tend to him. After that, Christian stopped, and Lita got up and came forward. However, that's when Christian turned around and noticed that Trish was charging at him. He took her and sent her over the top, tumbling onto Lita and taking the Rated X Redhead down! Christian then took the opportunity to thump his chest to the adulation of the Peepulation as the show went to commercial break.

When the broadcast returned from the final break of the evening, Edge was backing into the corner to get away from Christian, who was walking towards him confidently. After pulling his tights up a bit, Christian picked Edge up by using the hair, and then irishwhipped the Rated R Superstar into the other corner. With a jumping forearm attack, Christian painfully forced Edge out of that corner. He then got behind Edge, and pulled him back towards him while jumping onto the middle turnbuckle and applied an inverted headlock. Edge, immediately knowing what he was going for, turned around and suddenly threw Christian off the turnbuckle. After this, Edge came down on Christian in a mount position and began punching him viciously, until the referee told him to come off. After that, Edge decided to take a page from something that "the Reverend" D-Von Dudley/Brother Devon from TNA had done one time to former DX member "Mr. Ass" Billy Gunn/Kip James, by imitating the DX symbol to draw Trish Stratus into the ring. This obviously distracted the referee, as Lita came into the ring, and walked towards Edge, who turned her around so her back was facing him, then lifted her up as if in a backdrop suplex, but way over his head so that she ended up doing a backflip onto Christian. After this, Lita got up, and exited the ring. Trish stopped complaining to the referee, and Edge covered Christian, who kicked out after a two count. Captain Charisma was no longer in need of extremely major help, but he was in need of help now. Edge picked Christian up and gave him a snapmare, following which he quickly dropkicked Cage's back as he was sitting up. Edge then got Christian in yet another cover, but again, Captain Charisma managed a kickout after the count of two. After this, Edge picked up Christian, and dropkicked him below the knee, causing Christian to fall forward flat on his face. Edge covered Cage again. 1, 2, kickout.

Edge started to get a little mad, and got up in confrontation to the referee, as he saw that Christian wasn't about to be pinned anytime soon. Christian began to get up though, and after Edge picked him up, Christian Cage quickly ripped the barely older man's hands away from his head, and then took Edge down in an inside cradle! 1, 2, Edge barely kicked out of that assault. After that, both men quickly got up, and Edge tried to go for a clothesline on Christian. However, Cage ducked it, stopped behind Edge, and got Edge in a backdrop suplex. The Rated R Superstar quickly rolled out of the ring, so Christian didn't have the opportunity to crawl over for another cover on him. Christian took the opportunity to get up instead, and went off the ropes on the opposite side so as to dive back here once again, but was tripped up by Lita and ended up shakily getting up and running over to the ropes, resulting in him getting hung up on the middle rope.

Trish Stratus quickly came over to Christian and tagged herself in while Edge was still getting up on the outside, after which she came over to Lita and forced her into the ring by tossing her over on her keister. On the outside, Edge used the middle rope in a hangman's neckbreaker, taking Christian down. As Christian rolled to the outside and Edge made it to his corner, both men were rendered ineffective at this point. After getting up, Lita tried to beg off Trish, but that was only a cover, as she went for a low kick and a snap suplex. After this, Lita picked up Trish, then went for a clothesline, but Trish eluded the move with the Matrix dodge. Once she got back up from that, both women turned around, and Lita ended up walking right into a spinebuster from Trish, following a few mounted punches. The referee then made a DQ count, which reached three when Trish stopped punching Lita. However, as soon as this was going on, Mick Foley was starting to walk down the ramp. Trish saw Foley and got distracted with decisively winning a shouting match against the smiling Hardcore Legend. She failed to notice Lita getting up, and as soon as she back up, she ended up being placed in a Russian legsweep takedown by Lita, who flipped over and tried to use the ropes for leverage in a cover. However, Trish managed to kick out of it, which had Lita befuddled for a second. Lita quickly got up as Trish was slowly starting to, then stalked away at her. Once Trish was up enough, Lita applied a front facelock, and swung her leg back and forth in going for her Litasnap DDT, but they were right next to the ropes, which Trish hung onto in order to keep Lita's impact from being impactful to Trish at all. Trish then flipped over Lita with her legs in hand for a jackknife cover. 1… 2… Lita managed to kick out! After this, both women struggled to get up a little bit, but Lita beat Trish to it and gave her a missile dropkick as she was getting up. Instead of going for the cover, however, Lita got up, pulled Trish into a familiar distance while having her lay perpendicular to one of the turnbuckles. Then she started climbing the turnbuckle, apparently to go for her talented Litasault Splash. But that was before a voice could be heard saying…

"Hey. Hey, Lita. Look over here. I've got somethin' to say to you."

The voice was extremely familiar, and ended up receiving cheers, especially after Lita came down and joined the fans in looking at the Titantron and seeing that it was indeed "the Game" Triple H.

"Hi. As you probably can tell from looking at me, I'm Triple H, the eleven-time heavyweight champion of D-Generation X. But that's beside the point," Trips started, Lita quickly getting into demanding mode as to what he was doing. "The point is, you and I seem to disagree on alot of things. However, I do know one thing that we were never supposed to disagree on, but we ended up disagreeing on it for so long. See, I was always under the impression that you were only with Edge as a valet, as a hench wench, as his little whore. You, of course, tried to teach me better, but I never understood it. However, I started thinking over the weekend. About the fact that… even after the whole deal with Kane and Matt Hardy was over last year, you stayed with Edge. Hell, you're with him to this day. About the fact that… you seem to actually be enjoying the little rebel superiority act that you and Edge have going on while, strangely, both being members of McMahonism. About the fact that now we're actually seeing you wrestle some matches, and Edge got you an opportunity at the WWE Women's Championship despite the fact that your fellow McMahonist, Mickie James, was and still is the Women's Champion. And I realized, that… that you and Edge, I don't know how to describe it, but you do share everything together. You have a very special bond. And for that enlightenment, I've decided to thank you by having some friends set up some balloons to celebrate and commemorate your relationship with our reigning current WWE Heavyweight Champion, which has been standing strong for over a year. Oh, speaking of the balloon ceremony… look up above the screen."

Upon that warning, she looked above the screen, and there were green and white balloons beginning to come down from there. However, she was far from satisfied with that, because the balloons actually held hilarious messages such as "Suck It", "Lita's a Sexy Ho", "What does Hacksaw say again?", and "Lita: Feverishly Choking the Chicken!" While whining and complaining to Triple H and to the laughing fans, Lita was oblivious to the fact that Trish was up. That is, until Trish reached behind her and got her in a schoolgirl rollup. 1… 2… 3!

"Here are your winners, Trish Stratus and Christian Cage!"

While Trish's music came on, that announcement from Lilian Garcia lit up the crowd. Trish quickly rolled out of the ring to where Christian had just fully gotten up. Edge was inactively seething at the apron about all the criticisms laid on his girlfriend from Triple H's ballons, and now he - as well as Mick Foley - got into the ring and joined her in complaining to and about everyone. Christian and Trish were now walking backwards up the ramp together, both with their arms raised up high, and Christian putting an arm around Trish and pointing to her with the other hand. That is, until they turned around, and somebody slid a microphone down the ramp over to them. Trish came down, and picked it up. The music then stopped.

"Hey, Team MEL! I just want to tell you, that right there was a message from the single greatest force in the universe, D-Generation X! And I'd like to remind you that if you're not down with that, then we've got two words for ya!" Trish shouted out on the mic, which she held up for the fans to say "Suck it!", then handed over to Christian, since he had something to add to that.

"And not only is that message brought to you by DX, but it also fully endorsed by yours truly, "Captain Charisma" Christian Cage, your next WWE Heavyweight Champion, because that's how I roll!" Christian followed up, the fans singing along with the last part. The DX music then came on, though, instead of Christian's, since this fan favorite moment was mainly DX generated. Trish and Christian, at the middle of the ramp, got into a shouting match with Edge, Lita, and the consoling Foley, who were in the ring. In the middle of this, Christian thumped his chest and pointed to his Peeps, while Trish did a crotch chop and started up an X firework burst at the turbuckles on each side of the three McMahonists in the ring. Trish and Christian were smiling. The trio that the Insurrexion had spent their time dubbing Team MEL was not. And that is how we left our broadcast.

a/n: Well, guys. By now, as you can tell, I'm slightly working with the fact that Trish Stratus is supposed to leave after Unforgiven in real life. However, this is not the only place where I address that. There's also someplace else: at in the WWE forum. There's a topic about the fact that Trish is gonna leave, and I made a big long post in that topic. These are my views on the departure of the most beautiful woman wrestler and greatest Women's Champion of all time.

_It's gonna be weird looking at Raw and seeing no Trish for months on end. It's gonna be weird seeing that Raw always had a few women wrestlers who could completely rule the world, and that number is about to be severely limited for the first time in awhile. It's gonna be weird that I've got… no… idea what three or four people WWE can ever turn to that are currently on the roster for good women's wrestling. That's the After Trish feeling. And that feeling is gonna be weird. And I'm gonna miss seeing Trish week in and week out being the Quintessential Diva that only she can be._

_However, I applaud and respect her for hanging up the boots at this certain point in time, especially since I believe that taking care of Trish time wasn't truly the only reason for this decision, despite all the emotion she showed about the whole incident. Her upcoming marriage to her fiancée and the breakdown of Kurt Angle definitely had something to do with it. Combine both of those possible extra factors together with the "taking care of Trish time" thing, and really think about it, and tell me that the following doesn't make sense:_

_You have the opportunity to quit for a little while, to take care of yourself, to live your life at home and be with your family instead of touring eternally, after you've already established yourself as the greatest champion of all time. Your engagement to your one true love is about to fall, to bow… at the feet of actual marriage. At the soles of holy matrimony. Something which even some princes and princesses can only dream about. You also have the opportunity to save yourself whilst you are on top of the world instead of waiting until you become what you've seen too recently out of one of your greatest colleagues, whose overdosage of nonstop action has led to him becoming a broken down, pill-taking, shell of a man who, quite frankly, has gotten closer to death than Shawn Michaels in the late 1990s… and then wisely took the opportunity to step down himself. When one thinks of all the logic in this, you have to tell me that in her boots, you would rather take the opportunity and leave even for a little while._

_To Miss Stratus, I say this: whether I loved you for giving it all you've got show in and show out and proving yourself a true Diva or I hated you for slutting yourself out to Vince McMahon or screwing with Chris Jericho's heart, you proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that for factors both related to and completely distant from your physical beauty, you are never boring. I don't know where Katarina Waters will be between not even making it to the main roster and ascensding even past you, or whether you will eventually return to face her on an episode of Monday Night Raw. But at the moment, what I know is that you are walking out the Michael Jordan of women's wrestling. For making those words possible, and for everything you've done to deserve that, Trish: thank you._

-P. Dizzle tha Grand Champion, signing off.


	15. Whatever Happened to the Christianship

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Oh… except for Christan. He's owned by Dixie Carter and Jeff Jarrett.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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a/n: Captain R Superstar had a good point there in the last review, when he mentioned the nWo-Ministry feud that I'm seemingly developing on Smackdown. But before anyone make the assumption that I'm gonna apply those two groups into the majority of the story and go overboard with the gang warfare, I wanna just make it clear that neither the nWo nor the Ministry will be a major part of this Raw-brand story. In fact, with the exception of the cross-brand PPVs, sporadic appearances and such, they're not even in the story.

SPECIAL NOTE:

Also, in order to adapt to how this story is going, I've decided to change up TNA events. In this story, Christian Cage did not screw Sting out of the NWA World Heavyweight Championship at Hard Justice 2006. (notable point: he showed up in WWE as a face _after_ Hard Justice, so it wouldn't make any sense.) Instead, at Hard Justice, Sting lobbied for James Cornette to give the former World Champion Christian Cage a title shot at Hard Justice, offering to hold back his own earned match against Jarrett until No Surrender. He even asked Cornette to give the condition that if Christian beat Jarrett for the title, Jarrett vs. Sting would have nothing to do with either the title or Christian Cage.

Sting and Christian had formed an alliance in order to combat Jarrett and his backup Scott Steiner over the weeks between Slammiversary and Hard Justice, and were actually quite successful over the weeks against the King of the Mountain and Big Poppa Pump. Once Hard Justice came around, though, not only was there the Christian-Jarrett title match, there was also a one-on-one contest between Steiner and Sting, with Sting's title shot on the lin. Sting had Steiner beat in that match, until Jarrett arrived and actually sprayed pepper spray into Sting's eye, leading to a disqualfication and an assault by both Jarrett and Steiner on Sting, taking him out of commission for the night while he tried to flush the spray out of his eyes. In the title match against Christian, Jarrett had all the advantage in the world. Try as he might, with Scott Steiner and Gail Kim causing havoc all over the place, Christian was never able to claim an advantage for long. However, that was until Sting suddenly arrived, with his black bat in hand. He hit Steiner in the head with the bat, chased Gail Kim away from the ring, but afterwards, even despite the fact that Christian was finally starting to pick up the momentum, bypassed both the ref and Captain Charisma to hit Jarrett in the head with the Chosen One's own guitar! This caused Christian to get disqualified and, despite his questioning, completely ignored as Sting beat away on Jarrett for the rest of the night. After security came and restrained Sting, Christian just walked away.

Between his trips on WWE programming, Christian always found time to go back to TNA and appear on Impact each week. During this stint, he ended up briefly questioning Sting so as to try and understand what his point was in attacking Jarrett in the midst of the title match. Sting genuinely replied that he was just angry because of what Jarrett had done, and Christian, getting the point, forgave him for that case of lacking in judgment and kept the alliance afloat. Success this time was varied between the two sides, Christian and Sting vs. Jarrett and Steiner. There was in fact a six-person tag team match on Impact this past Thursday night pitting Jarrett, Steiner, and old friend Monty Brown against Sting, Christian, and their old friend Rhino. Details will come up shortly after this.

EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk (and then "Blood Brother" after it anywhere after Summerslam), so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts.

**Chapter 15: Whatever Happened to the Christianship**

Date & Show: September 11, 2006, WWE Monday Night Raw

Once again, the House of McMahonism filled up the ring immediately at the start of the night. Except this time, they didn't have their usual church setup, and it was Edge's music that was ringing through the arena. Edge was also notably the one dressed in his wrestling gear. Shane McMahon is the one that immediately held a microphone in the middle of the ring at this point in time.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we welcome each and every one of you to Monday Night Raw with open arms!" Shane first proclaimed, actually getting cheered for once. "Now, first of all, I want to open the night in recognition of the fact that we are hosting Raw tonight at Madison Square Garden on September 11th, 2006. Five years after that terrible crash at Ground Zero. And I ask each and every one of you to please enjoy a moment of silence for all those affected in any significant manner from the 2001 terrorist attacks. Whether we're talking about workers in the places attacked, firefighters who went to rescue people, soldiers who've gone overseas because of the war on terror instigated from this, or even these people's families, we must now take a brief silent respite as the eleven bells ring to say goodbye to the fallen, to give our condolences to the families, and to say thank you to all those who have risked their lives for this country on and since that fateful date."

After making that statement, Shane lowered the arm with the mic in it, and he led all the McMahonists - as well as every Superstar and worker backstage, and every single fan in the arena - in closing their eyes and bowing their heads in prayer for these people. The eleven bells soon rang, one after the other, in recognition of all the people who Shane mentioned. And after the last of the eleven bells, everyone in the arena raised their heads, opened their eyes, clapped their hands, and cheered, in the spirit of saying "thank you" to all of the people who risked their lives for us, most of which continue to do so. However, it did not take very long for all the McMahonists to get back into mode.

"Thank you very much. In any case, while you all may have come here to enjoy the show, tonight isn't about you people. Tonight is about us, the House of McMahonism, finally eliminating your beloved Chain Gang!" Shane proclaimed immediately afterwards, earning the boos of the people. "See, that very process will start immediately, as in, right now. Making no exceptions, not even that quitter from down south, Christian Cage, or General Manager Eric Bischoff, every single member of the Insurrexion that is not in the following match has been banned from inside the building until the end of this match. But before we get to the match, we have some footage to show each and every one of you, about events that occurred on the TNA Thursday Night Impact broadcast last week that may be worthy of attention to you WWE fans. Let's take a look, shall we?"

_The titantron showed footage of Impact, where Scott Steiner, Jeff Jarrett, and Monty Brown were going up against Christian Cage, Rhino, and Sting. Details will be given through the comments of Edge, who just received a microphone from Shane McMahon._

"_Well, there you have it. I'm watching this match, and this is what I see. What I see is Jeff Jarrett and his pals getting eaten alive by Sting and Rhino, Christian Cage barely doing anything here. He looks like he's despondent about something, doesn't he? But look. After Sting gets tripped up and jumped by his opponents, what does Christian do? Bam! He bum rushes the ring and spears Jeff Jarrett the same way I would! Then Steiner comes after him, he counters into an Unprettier. Monty Brown comes for him and he reverse DDTs the crap out of the guy. Then the lights fade. When they come back, Sting's got Jarrett in that Scorpion Death Lock, and that so-called Mountain King has no choice but to tap out like a dumbass. And just like that, Sting's stolen the credit for Christian's hard work in restoring the momentum in the match. As the winners are announced, Rhino goes to Sting first for congratulatory hugs, and then he raises Sting's hand. In the spirit of teamwork, Christian does the same. Rhino barely makes any contact with Christian in the celebration. They do their poses on the turnbuckles. After they come off, Christian and Rhino finally come up to each other, but then… BAM! Low kick! Christian Cage proves exactly why he is the Creepy Little Bastard. Sting comes up to him trying to get an explanation, but after he pleads his case, Cage just goes down and with a low blow sends Sting tumbling down. He then takes not one, not two, but three steel chairs into the ring. Places Sting's head on one, Rhino's head on the other. Boom shaka laka! Christian plants a chair shot right on the back of Sting's head! One-man con-chair-to! He then looks at Rhino, starts to get a little tentative. But even after that, boom! He hits him anyway! And there you see him walking away with that crappy smile on his face, both of his so-called friends knocked out."_

The footage finally dies out, and we can see that Edge and several other McMahonists are actually grinning about all this as the WWE fans boo the scene.

"You people really think Christian Cage is a hero?" Edge asked the fans here at Madison Square Garden, drawing their ire. "Well, now you know. He simply cannot be trusted. Why do you think he was ever called the Creepy Little Bastard? (insert boos) The Insurrexion, should not be bowing down to Christian. They should not be helping him out! He'll turn his back on them, and all of his WWE peeps, and bring the WWE title to TNA and stay there! You think I'm gonna take a chance and give up this baby to Christian? You guys just all saw why he sucks! (insert loud mixed reaction) In any case, even though we're goin' home in Toronto in six days at Unforgiven, I must make a loud and tall statement that not only is he not someone the Insurrexion could trust with this title any more than me, he's also not talented enough to take it from me. That's why he needed a dancing starlet to get the job done for him… as if that would've worked. (insert boos) Personally, I'm more focused on helping my good buddy CM Punk get rid of John Cena by eradicating his Chain Gang partners, Matt Hardy and Taka Michinoku! And speaking of Taka: you, me, right here, right now, don't look for your partners, they're not comin' because they can't come until the match is over. Now bring your Japanese candy ass out here!"

Soon after Edge's call-out, Taka's entrance theme music came on, leading to cheering people. He came out somewhat tentatively, seeing all the McMahonists in the ring. Edge dared Taka to comre on, and his comrades all exited the ring, following which Taka was more prepared to come down the ramp and enter the ring. In fact he slid into the ring and instantly came in after Edge, the two men ending up in an exchange of right hands pretty much immediately, during which the bell rang.

Edge ended up winning this exchange and backing Taka into the ropes, following which he irishwhipped him and then went for a clothesline, but Taka ducked it. Taka came back off the ropes, and then took Edge down as soon as the guy turned around with a spinning cross body takedown. After that, Taka ran off the ropes to the side and, as Edge got up, hit the Rated R Superstar with a forearm hit. After this, Taka did a standing moonsault on Edge, stayed on and hooked the leg for the cover. Edge kicked out after two, and slowly began to get up after Taka did. Following that, Taka picked up Edge, but Edge quickly raked Taka's eyes, ran off the ropes behind Taka ignoring the referee's admonishment, then kicked Taka in the shins, taking him down on his back. Edge then dragged Taka away from the ropes, crushed Taka's leg with his elbow, then mounted over Taka and started punching him. The referee's DQ count got to four before Edge finally stopped abusing Michinoku with right hands. Edge then got up, and went down to the outside where CM Punk, Lita, and Maria were in order to discuss something with them, while Taka was still getting up. Edge soon slid into the ring and clubbed Taka in the back, the Japanese guy still bent over until that happened. Edge then took Taka in a front facelock and hit him with a DDT. Edge then covered Taka again, and the Pride of Japan kicked out after the count of two.

After this, Edge got up, looked at the referee momentarily, and then turned around with a sharp kick to the side of Taka, sending him rolling out of the ring near Umaga. Edge then held a discussion with the referee, following which Umaga picked up Taka, gave him a serious low blow kick, and then put him back into the ring, where Edge turned around and now applied a leglock on Taka. Despite the severe pain that he was in right now, and the amount of screaming that he was doing because of it, Michinoku refused to give in and tap out. Instead, he went and actually tried to push himself backwards so that he could reach the ropes either behind him or to the side. Edge, however, saw exactly what he was doing and released the move, but still held one of Taka's arms. Edge then crushed Taka's leg with his elbow once again, after which he applied a strange amateur-ish style leg submission. However, while Taka screamed - not as much as with the first leglock - and still refused to submit, Edge eventually grew frustrated with the guy and threw the leg down, after which he got in a stomp and a hip drop into Taka's leg. Edge then took Taka and rolled him out of the ring to where Mick Foley and Mickie James were, to which Foley picked up Taka and allowed Mickie to slap him while Edge once again discussed with the official. After Mickie's slap, Mick took Taka's head, shoved it into the ring apron, then put him on the ring apron, following which the leg that Edge had been working on was exploted by Mick ramming his elbow into it several times. Finally, after this, Foley rolled him into the ring. Edge stopped his discussion with the official and went for a cover on Taka hooking the leg that was less attacked. 1… 2… Taka did not kick out, but he did get a shoulder up, sparing the injured leg and saving himself the match.

After this, Lita suddenly came on the apron, and she called Edge over to her. He came down to the outside where she was alongside the McMahons, and among the ones on the outside, and she gave him a kiss and a relaxing massage while he sat and waited for Taka to get over the combination of tiredness and leg pain so as to pick himself up. Taka ended up having to rely on the corner to do so, and it still took him a bit of awhile to do so. After he let go of the turnbuckle, the injured leg just buckled, and Taka had no choice but to get on one knee. Edge then came into the ring. He stalked away at Taka in the typical manner for a Spear, and even as soon as Taka even began to show signs of regaining his complete vertical base, Edge immediately charged for the Spear. However, Taka dove down and to the side as Edge was lunging at him, causing the Rated R Superstar to hit the ring post shoulder first!

Taka saw the opportunity, but realized that he was not going to be in a good situation to be able to capitalize on it. He was not only in extreme pain and unable to capitalize and hit Edge, but there were McMahonists stationed at three quarters of ringside and even where they weren't, they could easily jump him if he rolled to the outside. Taka got up to his knees, but could not do any more, before Edge got out from the corner, shook the cobwebs of pain from his shoulders, and went to pick up Taka. After he did so, Taka just immeidately came down hitting Edge with a jawbreaker/dropkick to the knee combination. The fans were cheering, getting behind Taka, and chanting his name, in the hope that he could pick himself up before Edge now. However, this hope would turn out to be in vain, as Taka was still crawling toward the ropes to pick himself up by the time Edge got over his short sting of pain and got back up. Edge came to Michinoku and rashly dragged him away from the ropes before he could even begin to get back up. Edge then put his standing leg in between Taka's two legs, crossed the cruiserweight's legs around his, and knelt down, before finally locking in the extremely painful Edgecator. Because of the hopeless situation and the hopeless pain he was just subjected to, Taka had no choice but to do the smart thing to save himself. And that was to tap out.

"Here is your winner, Edge!"

And then Edge's music came on, but nothing changed and nothing stopped. He continued to viciously apply that submission hold, and the McMahonists now moved more towards the ramp in order to keep any and all parties, such as trainers and agents and EMTs, from interfering with the painful move that he was applying onto Taka relentlessly. He was genuinely trying to break the man's leg here! It was a good 37 seconds after making Taka tap out, when Edge finally let go of his kneeling inverted sharpshooter. He then called for CM Punk and Lita to get in the ring and hold Taka up, following which they did so. Edge also asked for the WWE Championship, which he received courtesy of Shane's retrieval. He then held the title up in Taka's face, berating him about not being good enough to compete with this. Edge then put the title around his own waist, backed up a few inches, and charged in to hit Taka with a devastating Spear! After this, he took the title and raised it up in the air, with all the fans booing and all the McMahonists clapping and cheering, especially Lita, and with the exception of Maria. Suddenly, those eight familiar words blared on the arena speakers: "If ya smell what the Rock is cookin'!"

With the crowd cheering on the ensuing familiar music at a fevered pitch, the McMahonists immediately all came up in front of the ramp talking trash, daring the Rock to come rushing into the ring and get in their way. However, after the few seconds of fever, the entire scene cooled down, as the Rock had yet to appear, and the music suddenly died out. Why did his music on if he wasn't gonna come out from behind the curtains? Because he _was_ coming out… from the crowd! After awhile, one could see the People's Champ jumping over the guardrail and sliding into the ring behind Edge, outside all the McMahonists' forward line of sight. In fact, when Rock turned Edge around and hooked his arm, they still had no idea what just happened. They had no idea, until they heard the ring shaking due to Edge being taken Rock Bottom! Immediately after getting up, the Rock fled the scene and, crossing the guardrail and meeting with his People, successfully eluded all pursuers, including Umaga, who was closest to him. The music came on again, and he smiled and waved a tiny goodbye to Vince McMahon and all of his friends, before walking back to the backstage area the exact way he came. Vince was noticeably throwing a temper tantrum as the fans started an eardrum riot once again. And once again, they got their way.

The Rock was suddenly stopped in the backstage area, for a Unlimited interview with Todd Grisham.

"Rock, it's really awesome that you're here, but you never told me or anyone when you were coming back, and-"

"Todd Grisham… hold it right there. Stop talking, and the Rock will be glad to answer all your questions," Rock promised, cutting off the Grish. "But first… (takes Todd's mic) Finally, the Rock has come back to Madison Square Garden! (insert loud cheers as Rock gives back the mic, which Todd holds up to him so he can continue) Now, back to the issue at hand. You, Todd Grisham, the first announcer to try to be cool since Coach, actually have a question for the Rock. And that question is: why did the Rock suddenly make an unexpected comeback? Why did he come to Edge and give him the Rock Bottom? Why did he… oh, who gives a crap what the last question is, the fact still remains that I promised to Michael Cole that I would return to World Wrestling Entertainment when you least expected it, and the Rock has fulfilled said promise! First, I filmed that embarrassing picture of a sweet gold car that unfortunately for its sake belonged to the WWE Jabroni Champion known as Edge. Then the People's Champ stuck around and got to see Shane McMahon and Mick Foley embarrass themselves like the roody poo dumbasses they truly are! Last week, the Rock had a bit more of a quiet role, just staying in a hotel until the end of the night, when I arrived with a microphone and tossed it over to Trish Stratus. Yes, that was me. And now tonight, the Rock makes his presence known by coming from behind on Edge and hitting him with the Rock Bottom, proving that for all their brainy plans and their smart strategies, the McMahonism complex consists of nothing more than a bunch of stupid candy ass kiss-ass jabronis who simply can't possibly be in true control of Raw! And in any case, in matters pertinent to Edge, the Rock has an issue to address. And that is all three of the wrestlers who will be coming back home when Unforgiven hits this Sunday in Toronto, Canada. First of all, I just want to say to Trish Stratus, the woman who _may just be_ making her final appearance and wrestling in her last match at Unforgiven when she finally goes one on one with the hated one, taking on her old friend and career-long rival Lita, Edge's girlfriend, this Sunday night. I'm convinced like hell that Trish Stratus has already proven herself as the greatest Women's Champion of all time, holding that title for the longest time since the 1990s came and title reigns became significantly shorter than the old school claims it's supposed to be, and for the most times ever in WWE's history. And with her beauty, brains, personality, arsenal, ability… basically, she was the all around perfect girl to be in this business. Trish Stratus, for much of 01 and 02, was close friends with the Rock until I left for making movies and couldn't show up much in a wrestling ring. I truly believe that this industry will miss Trish Stratus more than it misses me, and that there is no chance in hell that extreme diva turned slut Lita beats her at all at Unforgiven. Now, that takes me to the former greatest and coolest tag team that I ever beat up, Edge and Christian Cage! See, Edge and Christian are competing in a "one title changes hands" tag team match on opposite sides with Edge's WWE Championship and the Women's title on the line. See, the Rock thinks Edge and Vince McMahon made that move because they know that Edge can't beat Christian, and despite the fact that what I just saw Christian do to his partners in TNA made the Rock puke in his food, and despite the fact that he's not here tonight to justify himself, the Rock is confident that Christian has his reasons, and that this will not affect the outcome at Unforgiven, and that the WWE Heavyweight Championship will have an influx of Charisma in Toronto. So Edge, Mickie James, Vince McMahon, Shane, and everybody else in that church, get ready to take your sermons, turn 'em sideways, and stick 'em straight up your candy ass! If ya smellllllllllllllllllll… what the Rock is cookin'!"

The Rock abruptly left, leaving Todd Grisham to just stand there looking confused as the fans went and practically crowned Rock the world king with their cheers. In any case, we've got two important tag team matches tonight. And they're both DX-related. But before either of the matches could occur, we received an update from on Taka Michinoku's condition, there were several sprained ligaments in his legs, and he would have to be out until at least October. According to WWE reporters, Taka decided to forfeit his half of the World Tag Team Titles to the owner of the other half, Matt Hardy, so that he could find himself a tag team partner.

For the first, the entrance theme song "Lovefurypassionenergy" came on, after which Lita and Candice Michelle both came out together, being immediately met with somewhat Jeff Jarrett-like boos, then stopped at the stage while Candice did a provocative dance and Lita tried to bounce her head to the song. After that, the two women both walked down the ramp, and while Lita slid into the ring and got on the turnbuckle to talk some smack to the fans, Candice walked to the right side and got on the apron sexily removing her jacket. After this, Trish Stratus's music came on, and out came the Quintessential Diva, pointing to the sky at the stage and being cheered by everyone for it, before she walked down the ramp in her usual manner happily pointing to the crowd. After this, she used the steps and ropes to enter the ring and pointed upward facing the fans at each side, which was followed up by Victoria's song, "All The Things She Said", and the Vicious Vixen come out to a less intense round of applause than her possibly departing friend. Once the music actually started, Victoria momentarily bent down then came up and raised her arms as usual, following which she began walking down the ramp high-fiving some fans. After that, she came into the ring using the steps and ropes, then, facing the crowd, raised her arms in trademark fashion once again. She then turned around to the other side and did the exact same thing, before getting into the corner and conversing with Trish about plans.

It was decided by each of the teams that Trish and Candice would be the ones in the ring to start it off. Candice, began to get into a grappling stance as if she was gonna start wrestling Trish, but instead, that situation didn't exactly happen as so. Instead, she pulled out and started doing her GoDaddy Dance, which Trish decided to cut off by, as soon as Candice was turned around, sending her over the top top the outside. Trish then hung onto the ropes as Candice got up to hit her with a standing-in-place baseball slide through the bottom two ropes. It was after this that Lita decided to come into the ring go after Trish, but Trish saw her and blocked Lita's right hand, then fed her with a few right hands of her own, before irishwhipping Lita. Lita, though, stopped herself by holding onto the ropes, following which Trish came after her and backtossed her over the ropes. Trish landed on her feet on the apron, but Lita quickly turned around and hit Trish with a dropkick, taking Trish out of the ring. Victoria then came down to look after Trish, while Lita just stood there in the ring taunting the duo. Victoria eventually got angry about Lita's disrespect and decided to run over and get on the apron. Lita came over, Victoria headbutted her in the gut and flipped over her for a sunset flip cover. Lita kicked out after the count of two.

Lita attacked Victoria with a clothesline, but Victoria ducked it and countered with a backslide. The Sinful Sexpot managed yet another kickout. By now, Candice Michelle was in the ring, telling Victoria to come on and pacing away, readying herself to attack her former friend. When Victoria turned around, Candice came after her, but was casually sent to the outside, while Lita recovered in the corner. Victoria then turned her attention towards Lita, trying to go for a stomp kick to the gut of the Rated X Redhead, but Lita grabbed the leg and thrust it forward away from her to push the woman down. She then kept a hold on both of Victoria's legs and put her own legs on the ropes for a pin cover with extra leverage. 1… 2… Victoria kicked out after the count of two. Once both women got up, Lita arm wrenched Victoria, then kneed her in the gut, lifted her back up, and hit her with a wrist lock variation of the Northern Lights suplex, bridging into a cover as she did so. 1, 2, Victoria kicked out. At this point, Candice went back into her corner, and so did Trish. After both Lita and Victoria got up, Lita kicked Victoria in the gut, then got her in a Russian legsweep, after which she floated over into a cover on Victoria, who kicked out after two and started to get up. Lita beat her to it and tagged in Candice, who stepped into the ring Miss Jackie style and earned some hollers for it. After this, she took Victoria with her into the corner, then sat on the second turnbuckle, before putting Victoria in her Candylicious hanging figure four necklock. in order to attack She then jumped on the first turnbuckle, then on the second one, facing the crowd, and then jumped off backwards into a reverse body splash. She stayed on to cover Victoria, which resulted in a two count when Victoria kicked out. Candice then began to whine to the referee as Victoria struggled to pick herself up. Once Victoria was up, Candice threw her down by the hair in a reverse mat slam, before tagging Lita into the ring. Lita came in with a cocky slow stride to her, then went down and trapped Victoria in a triangle choke. Candice went down off the apron and started pulling Lita by the arm in order to give her more leverage on the hold. This process was on and off-pointed out by Trish every time until she came up to the referee and pointed to it before he saw anything else of her, leading to him telling Candice to break it up and get back on the apron. Meanwhile, as Lita came slightly disconcentrated due to that issue, Victoria was able to turn herself around, get herself up with Lita's legs around her, then pick Lita up and slam her down in a cross-legged powerbomb!

Both women were down and trying to crawl over to their partners in order to make the tag. …well, one of them was trying to crawl to her partner. Lita was right there. She was able to tag in Candice right off the bat, and Candice picked up one of Victoria's legs in order to stop her. However, she managed to turn around, kick Candice away, and finally make it to tag in Trish Stratus. Candice momentarily stalled in her charge on Trish, but suffered the consequences when she resumed her charge and received a hard knife edge chop, leveling her to the ground. She then got up and was pressed against the ropes by Trish, who chopped her again once, then twice, then licked her hand before going for a third. She hit said third, then allowed Candice to fall into the ground. Lita entered the ring, and Trish got her with a clothesline for it. Lita got back up, and Trish hit her with another clothesline. Lita got up again, but this time took a dropkick from Trish. Candice then tried to come from behind, hopping onto Trish's shoulders, then getting her in a reverse momo clutch cover! 1… 2… no! Trish kicked out of it! Candice then picked up Trish, following which she tried to go for a forward Russian legsweep, but Trish countered by just pushing Candice down. Meanwhile, Lita got back up to go after Trish again, but Victoria knew she would and got in the ring to intercept her. Victoria hit Lita with a few firearms, then irishwhipped her and went for a clothesline. Lita, however, ducked it, and came back at Victoria leaping to get her in a headscissors takedown. However, Lita never could quite get Victoria's head between her legs, and Victoria was able to reverse it into her Spider's Web sideslam! Victoria then escaped the ring, leaving the floor open for Trish and Candice to continue the match, Trish set Candice on the second rope, backed up a little, then flipped forwards towards her, catching Candice in position for the StratusFear. Trish hit the handstand corner frankensteiner, following which she then covered Candice Michelle. 1… 2… 3!

"Here are your winners, Victoria and Trish Stratus!"

After that announcement was heard, Victoria and Trish hugged, then pointed upwards together, much to the glee of the crowd. However, they couldn't continue their celebration much longer, as Lita got up and hit Trish with a clothesline. Victoria saw it, however, and immediately kicked Lita in the midsection, following which she picked her up in inverted powerbomb position and hit the sitout Black Widow powerbomb on her! Victoria then helped pick Trish up, and the Stratusfaction Agent asked for a microphone, which was granted to her upon request.

"Everybody, please hear me out and listen to me. What you've been hearing backstage is true. I am… or was… mulling the state of my WWE career after Unforgiven as soon as I realized that my contract was soon to run out. And I've made a decision, guys. I've decided, that it's no longer a possibility. It's a given. WWE Unforgiven 2006, from mine, Edge and Christian's hometown of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, will be host to my very last match in active status as a WWE Diva," Trish revealed, leading to disappointed groans and chants of "Please don't go!" all over MSG. "Now, everybody. I have a marriage to my fiancée, who is not a wrestler, coming up in less than three weeks. I have a nephew and a family to go back home to. And I saw what happened to Kurt Angle, who's had to use prescription drugs to be able to wrestle week in and week out. He just recently decided that it was time for his career to take a momentary stop. And as far as I'm concerned, it's my time to do the same before that breakdown happens, while I still have my youth. I…" Trish stopped herself, beginning to get a little choked up as the chants continued, begging her to stay when it was obvious she wouldn't.

"I remember being called up to the WWE's main roster, after which I started to scout some people. In particular, Test and Albert. I decided to hang out with them and put them together as a tag team, and they were the first ones to really show me the ropes here. It was during that time that I ended up being put through a table by Bubba Dudley, and I kept on asking for trouble, taking bumps and hits from some of the best wrestlers the former WWF had to offer back in 2000. Soon, I finally was able to compete in a match. It was a 6-man tag, against the Hardyz and Lita, who would go on to become my career long rival. However, I ended up separating from Test and Albert to manage Val Venis to an Intercontinental Title. It wasn't long lasting, and I was more interested in challenging for the Women's Championship after he lost the title, we were done. So I now decided to fool around with the McMahon family a little bit. Well… actually Vince decided that for me. And then he made me the regime's personal female dog, until I worked with his wife in a surprise plot to attack Vince at WrestleMania X-Seven, which obviously worked. Fighting Lita, Ivory, and Stephanie McMahon, among others, during that whole process made my first year in WWE pretty eventful. It also whet my appetite for in-ring action, leading me to work hard to become good. Better. The best. Which I finally became at Survivor Series 2001, beating five other Divas to win the WWE Women's Championship for the first time. And the rest is history. Jazz, Molly Holly, and my old friend beside me, Victoria, my toughest rivals after my ascension… being with Christian Cage in the biggest embarrassment in WWE history for the sole purpose of having fun at our old friend's expense just because he had to pursue me under the pretense of one Canadian buck… coming back to fight Vince's Devils, dealing with Mickie James, and now in my last days in the WWE, fighting McMahonism alongside the Insurrexion forces as a part of D-Generation X, the single greatest force in the universe…" and as she took one more emotional pause, she could no longer hold it in. She began to shed tears at the fact that this was the last time she would ever be speaking on Raw.

"To everyone I worked with, to everyone I worked against," she continued on, stifling through sobs, "to everyone that cheered, and booed, supported, and opposed me, to all whom I've touched in any way or another through this thrilling and awesome ride that is the career of Trish Stratus… especially Christian and DX… even though I'm leaving the WWE to be with my family, I refuse to say goodbye. Instead, I'm gonna say right here that… that I'll be in this ring someday, that I'll see you all again soon, and… and one last thing: thank you. And that's to each and every one of you!"

As she said those words and her music came on for the last time on Raw, Trish truly began to sob, knowing that this was indeed the end of the ride, Trish sound solace at that point in time in the arms of her good friend Victoria. The Vicious Vixen also had a tear in her eye: whether as fitness models or somewhere in the WWE's vast empire, whether as friends or as rivals, Trish and Victoria were always in the same job, same company… basically, always working together. This is how it was for the last near decade. And now that Trish is leaving WWE, that collective balance is about to fade. After the embrace between friends, which was given a moved ovation by the fans, Trish and Victoria stood strong as they both left the ring, each one with an arm around the other's shoulder. The two ladies left to the back together.

Between hanging out in the back together watching matches (including Charlie Haas's Unforgiven tune-up match against Carlito), a small conversation with Torrie after that match, and being spotted by one of the Ohio Valley girls that decided to go into the building, it took Trish and Victoria until very close to the main event tag team match pitting Shawn Michaels and John Cena against CM Punk and Umaga in order to finally go to their locker rooms in the back.

After both women returned to their rooms, met by their partners, let's take a look at the DX locker room.

"I was wondering when you were finally gonna get in here," Rob Van Dam stated.

"Shut up," Trish shot back, somewhat happily annoyed.

"Hey, Trish. I'm gonna give you a couple of options," Trips offered. "One: you can sit back and relax and watch the match with me and Rob sittin' right beside you. Two, you can go out to the ring with HBK Shawn Michaels and get one more moment in the sun on Monday nights."

"Hunter, I don't really know," Trish contemplated the matter, though rather nonseriously. "Part of me thinks you might really want me to go out there with Shawn so that I can show up in front of everybody just one more time, and I'm supposed to think that if I stick around, I'm about to suffer some kind of harassment from you two, right?"

"Oh, come on. You trust me more than that, don't ya?" Trips pleaded.

"Nope. I don't trust you as far as I can throw you. That's why I'm going out there with Shawn," Trish jestfully decided.

"Well, whatever misconstrued ideas brought you to that decision instead of sittin' with RVD and the Game, it's completely unnecessary for you to go out there, for one reason and one reason only," the Rock suddenly said, coming insidfe the door.. And that is, Shawn Michaels and John Cena already have a corner man tonight who will help them by neutralizing whatever jabroni tricks those roody poo candyass McMahonists have to offer. And that corner man is none other than the one and only jabroni beatin', lalalalalal, pie-eatin', trail blazin', eyebrow raisin', flatten all the Fake McGod's plans and turn 'em sideways to stick 'em straight up his candy ass because Vince McMahon sucks, People's Champ, the Rock! Trish, take care of yourself, just relax with your boys, and you'll be alright. Shawn, come on. Let's go. John Cena's outside."

"Okey-doke, buddy," Shawn replied, beginning to walk off. "Trish, I'll talk to you after the show."

"Okay," Trish accorded.

"Wish me luck, guys," Shawn said as he left. Triple H was the one that replied in kind with a call of "Alright, good luck man."

The song "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage came on again (actually for the first time since before SummerSlam), leading to the obvious conception that CM Punk was set to arrive. Punk came out with Maria leaning snug under his arm and Umaga behind him. Umaga tribal, Maria somewhat comfortable, and Punk highly confident, the trio walked down the ramp to boos which despite Maria's presence could not be suppressed from their majorly raucous state, though there were some cheers of respect for Punk's ability within the audience. Once down the ramp, Punk and Maria let go of each other, and Punk slid into the ring, following which he got on a turnbuckle and did the X across the chest, smiling and having some words for the crowd. Umaga used the steps and ropes to get into the ring, then screamed with his arms stretched out. The music finally faded, following which Rock's music came on, and the fans were riotous once again as the People's Champ came out from out the Gorilla this time and stayed at the stage.

"Before I introduce my opponents, I would first like to be short and sleek in a little statement, and that little statement is this," the Rock began. "CM Punk, you and your little lady Maria have absolutely no business being among the many jabroni style lackeys of Vincent K. McMahon. Now, without further ado, let me introduce to you the two partners you're facing in this right tonight. Now, one of the partners was a WWE Superstar since 1987…"

…and then the lights completely went out, as if there was an arena-wide power outage, except for a dim spotlight inside the ring, causing a sudden frenzy within the audience, completely unknowing of exactly what was going on. Within a few seconds, the lights returned to normal and there was Edge, stalking away at the Rock at the side of the stage! As soon as Rock turned around to see the Rated R Superstar, it was too late, for he was already right in the line of fire, and hit with the Spear! Edge looked at Rock with a smirk on his face, following which Shawn Michaels and John Cena came out from the stage, causing the WWE Champion to run away a little to the middle of the ramp. The two conversed among themselves exactly what they would do, and after that, Shawn Michaels stayed behind to check on the Rock and help him up, while John Cena chased Edge all the way into the ring, where he ended up running into Umaga and being immediately pressed high in the air and dropped down in the Wild Samoan Drop! And it was when that happened that the bell rang!

Edge was standing outside the ring there with an already somewhat cringing Maria, watching Umaga and CM Punk already begin to stomp on John Cena. Once the Rock was able to get up on his own, Shawn Michaels immediately charged into the ring and took CM Punk roughly out of the ring with a forearm shove, finally getting the McMahonists' attention. He then punched away at Umaga, before running off the ropes and trying to take him down with that flying forearm attack. It only backed up Umaga, causing him to bounce off the ropes behind him and come forward in an attempted lunge at Michaels. Shawn dodged it and, with much effort, pulled Umaga down into a rollup, but the Samoan Super Smash Brother kicked out right after the two count. Michaels applied a few knife edge chops to Umaga, each one bringing more read into the huge Samoan's chest, but when he tried to irishwhip Umaga into the corner, the Tribal Thugster countered and tried to charge at the Heartbreak Kid. Michaels, though, in anticipation, sat on the second rope and hopped over Umaga. Shawn quickly turned around and kicked Umaga in each of his shins several times in hope of knocking him down, however it was to no avail. All it did was knock him slightly off balance once and severely piss him off, to the point where he suddenly turned around in a furious clothesline on Mr. Michaels, knocking him down and practically out as CM Punk got back up on the apron. Umaga screamed with his arms stretched out, confident of his progress. The fans booed him immediately. After this, Umaga picked up Shawn Michaels, threw him into the corner, and started assaulting him with forehand and backhand slaps to the chest, the last of which was followed up by a quick knee to the gut, knocking Michaels down into a seated position.

CM Punk then tagged himself in and went into the ring, having been made mad when Michaels came up at him from out of nowhere. Once in the ring, he let that out by stomping a mudhole into Michaels in the corner, following which he did the evil double stomp move characteristic of Muhammad Hassan and Christian Cage. Punk then posed with his straight edge insignia, following which John Cena, who had just gotten up began to come at CM Punk. Luckily for the Punker, he saw John going after him, so he retreated to the outside while the referee restrained Cena and sent him back to the apron. This, though, unfortunately for Punk, gave time for Shawn to get up as well. After Michaels did so and CM came into the ring, the two men came towards each other, and Punk quickly kicked Michaels in the gut, then turned around and got him with a snapmare, followed by a dropkick right to the back of the head. Punk then covered Shawn, but the ref didn't count, since Punk's legs were under the ropes and even outside the ring. Edge realized this, so he pushed Punk's legs to turn them around and put them more inside the ring. The ref began to count, but Shawn kicked out at the count of one. CM picked up the man and irishwhipped him towards John Cena's corner, but quickly rushed after him with a leaping knee to the face. John tagged himself in, came into the ring, and tried to hit CM Punk, but couldn't even get one punch in before the referee, who hadn't seen the tag because of Punk's immediate charge and attack taking up his attention, restrained Cena and sent him back to the apron in raucous boos. Try as he might, Cena failed to be able to explain himself, and all this did was leave room for CM to go to the apron and hit Shawn with a hangman's neckbreaker, before quickly getting into the ring and stomping away at the Showstopped a little before picking him up, irishwhipping him, and knocking him down with a kitchen sink attack. After that, CM went to cover Michaels again. This time, though, Shawn kicked out.

Punk got up and facewashed the back of Shawn Michaels' head as the Heartbreak Kid was on his hands and knees, then tagged in Umaga to continue the damage. Umaga came into the ring, picked up Michaels, set him into the corner, and then thrust his shoulder into the gut of Shawn several times, before making sure he stayed up and then walking off a little, after which he came back with a running roundhouse kick to Shawn Michaels. As Umaga walked off, CM came into the ring, distracting the referee as Edge got in a few punches on Michaels from the outside. With the crowd jeering and the Rock finally being up and good enough to do something about this, Edge soon found himself being chased by the People's Champ. But as was completely unexpected, Maria came over to Rock and started begging him not to hit Edge! Out of respect for this innocent girl who obviously still didn't understand how much she was affecting the world around her, Rock backed off and didn't go after the Rated R Superstar, but made sure to note that he was watching him. Meanwhile, Punk went back into the corner, and Umaga suddenly charged towards the downed HBK and turned around, driving his hips right into Michaels' head and temporarily knocking the man out. Umaga, though, went for the cover on Shawn Michaels. Shawn didn't kick out, but by instinct, he did lift a shoulder up.

Umaga picked up Michaels, and lifted him in fireman's carry position, but before he could do anything after that, Shawn went into dirty tactics and raked Umaga's eye in order to force him to let go and allow Michaels off! Once he was off of Umaga, the Heartbreak Kid quickly got on his feet, turned Umaga around and hit him with right hands, and even hit a dropkick out of desperation, Umaga leaning back against the now shaking ropes. Shawn quickly went over and tagged in John Cena, following which the crowd went crazy with a mixed reaction and Cena furiously clotheslined Umaga. Seeing that he wasn't gonna go over the top to the outside just like that, Cena quickly held his legs up and struggled but managed to shove them upwards to toss him over the top rope to the outside! Cena then waited for Umaga to get up, after which he went off the ropes to the opposite side, then dove through the ropes where Umaga was for a suicide dive, which connected and knocked Umaga back **straight through the guardrail! And "Holy Shit" chants were filling up the world's most famous arena!**

CM Punk, though, to Cena's lack of knowledge, was on the turnbuckle with his back facing Cena, and after half a minute, Cena got up. He instantly ended up becoming the victim of a split-legged moonsault from Straight Edge 24/7! And the fans were not sparked into chanting that chant again, but they were still pretty amazed at the material they were seeing. And understandably so, at that. CM Punk got up instantly, and Shawn Michaels, who had gotten into the ring, dove over the top rope to the outside onto CM Punk! There was carnage in one specific area of the outside, with all four competitors down and either catching their breath or trying to get up, and Edge, Maria, and the Rock all looked at it completely amazed and likely scared at what was going on.

Vince and Shane McMahon suddenly arrived on the scene, walking down the ramp with Vince in his usual strut and so many boos for both of the self-proclaimed present and future of World Wrestling Entertainment and McMahonism. Vince and Shane, came around the ring in order to reach Edge, Maria, and the people at the annouce table. While Shane conversed with Edge and Maria, Vince got a microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, due to the carnage that is outside the ring, I, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, have to make an official announcement," Vince declared, getting jeered due to the unfair nature of anything like this that comes out of his mouth. "I have decided to make an executive decision. And that decision is this: the rules of the match are going to change. This is an obvious imminent countout, and in that case, it would be a draw, and that stipulation is intolerable. Instead, what Shane and I have decided as a resolution to the problem I just mentioned, is that the first person who gets in that squared circle will win this match for his team! Now ring the bell!"

The bell rang for this second and final version of the match to finally begin, and Shawn Michaels was the first guy to make a motion towards the ring. He picked himself up by using the apron, and then tried to roll his way into the ring, but Shane McMahon came over to Shawn Michaels, dragged him back out, and gave him a severe low blow, taking him right back down. The Rock went through and tried to go on the attack on Shane, but he retreated to a spot somewhere behind Maria, which had an effect on things. At this point, John Cena and CM Punk were both starting to get themselves up. Maria was looking on, scared for both men, but relieved that they were okay and able to stand up right now. CM and John eventually both got up, and were eventually hitting each other with a slow but true exchange of right hands. Suddenly, John Cena was starting to take the advantage in this little exchange of theirs, so after a few punches, he kicked CM Punk in the gut, then got him in a snap fisherman suplex right onto the concrete floor. Both men stayed down for a considerably long while, though Cena was able to start getting up before CM Punk did. When Cena was all the way up, Punk was barely on his feet, let alone to a vertical base. So Cena quickly took the opportunity and went and tried to give Punk the FU right onto the concrete floor, but he soon looked at Maria's sweet and beautiful eyes, begging like hell for him not to drop CM on his back with that move on this floor. He knew that if he attacked her with that attack, he would probably never be able to forgive himself. So, instead of doing that, he decided to turn it into a rib breaker smash onto Cena's knee, and then drop Punk down relatively harmlessly. However, that's when Umaga suddenly turned Cena around and gave him the Samoan Spike! After this, Shane McMahon and Edge, despite Maria's best wishes, picked up John Cena, and sent him head first into the steel steps, while Umaga got up on the apron, then crossed the ropes, entering the ring and winning the matchup for his team.

"Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, CM Punk and Umaga!"

That announcement was greeted with the silent treatment from the audience as Umaga's music came on. Vince and Shane came into the ring and stood on each side of Umaga with all six of their arms stretched out and held high and Umaga screaming, following which the Samoan Bulldozer found himself being congratulated by both the McMahons for doing such an awesome job. They'd left CM Punk down there for Edge and Maria to take care of. But what the Artist of Awesomeness didn't realize was that there was someone standing above him. And that someone picked him up by the hair, turned him around, and began to lay the smackdown on him. And that someone was the Rock. After taking care of Edge with his three punches and a spit punch, he slid into the ring, following which Umaga got in his face and became the victim of a Rock Bottom! Shane then stepped up, coming after Rock with a few right hands. However, when he tried to irishhwip the Rock, Rock countered and hit Shane with the People's Spinebuster! After that, Vince himself actually kicked the Rock down with a low blow, following which Rob Van Dam and Triple H both came running into the ring at a feverish rate, sending McMahon chickening out of the ring. CM was still being tended to by Maria, but he was a bit injured. As the Whole Damn Show and the Cerebral Assassin started mouthing off at Mr. McMahon, they turned around and suddenly found themselves the victims of an instant but impactful assault, at the hands of Mick Foley (hitting HHH with a barbed wire) and Shelton Benjamin (hitting RVD with a steel chair) of McMahonism! As both men dropped their weapons and their degenerate victims already started to bleed in the forehead, Vincent Kennedy McMahon looked at the scene before him now and actually began to grow that evil demonic smile of his. He then came into the ring, and hugged both Benjamin and Mick Foley, following which he had his hand raised in the middle of those two guys. Mick Foley's music, however, was the one that came on at the scene, but as both Shelton and Mick started to pose on the turnbuckle, Vince McMahon was laughing victoriously with his arms raised in fists up in the air. On the Raw instantly before Unforgiven, Vince McMahon was feeling like God all over again. And the fans were basically reeling it, unable to do anything more than stand there and boo.

That is, until Matt Hardy suddenly rushed into the ring! He fired at Shelton with a clothesline, then hit Mick with one. After that, he tried to come at Vince, but the absolute ruler of McMahonism was successfully able to back away. After Matt turned around, though, he ended up the victim of a T-Bone powerslam suplex from Shelton, who had instantly gotten up from the clothesline. And just like that, the heightened pitch of the flow in the audience was suddenly cut. Shelton then told Mick to "put a sock in his mouth", following which Foley gave a psychotic grin, took out Mr. Socko, put it on his hand, and used it to give Matt Hardy the mandible claw for five incredible jeered seconds. After this, the Corporate Ministry music came on, and Vince McMahon came back up into the ring. He went to help Shane get up, before which Foley, the McMahons, and Shelton all raised their arms up in victory. This time, there was nobody left to do anything about it. Vincent Kennedy McMahon could indeed claim to be God tonight. But will this be so at Unforgiven? We don't think so. All three of the Insurrexion girls were standing at the stage, along with Eric Bischoff. They were all scowling, but Bischoff was seething, his face trembling in anger. You could hear him shouting at the very end of the broadcast:

"_Damn you, Vince McMahon! I swear to you, I'll make you stop thinking you're God if it takes my last breath!"_

a/n: If you couldn't tell from the material in the chapter, I've gone from slightly working with to fully incorporating the whole "trish leaving" thing, which is oh, so sad, but oh, so true, and must be a factor of accomplishment. However, do not despair, all Trish Stratus and D-Generation X fans. There is absolutely nothing to worry about. There will be a new DX diva, and we will be represented well. Oh, and there's something else that I'm gonna add to this specific chapter. And that something is…

…Christian Cage's thoughts, as expressed in an at-home interview with the man, on his actions last week on Impact, and on where his currently double-branded career was going at the moment.

"_The whole entire week, I've been getting asked a certain question. And that is: Christian, why? Why are you doing this? Why did you suddenly betray Sting and Rhino? You've got a WWE Championship match, and you're gonna help Sting gonna become NWA Champion. Why are you screwing that up? Well, let me clear it up. I'm not betraying Sting and Rhino. I simply got mad, alright? I got mad because for all my damn hard work winning that match, Sting had to take the final victory, Sting's music played, and Sting got Rhino's primary attention. Rhino, the guy who was supposed to be friends with Edge and me for the last ten years, paid attention to Sting first and foremost. I was in the background. I guess I got mad, and I felt jealous a little bit. Except… moreso deservedly jealous, kinda like God does, you know? I did the work that got us the win. I was the common friend in the picture. Why did Sting get all the glory and leave me to be in the background? I guess I just wondered about that too intensively, and thanks to that, I snapped. I simply snapped, and I took it out on Sting and Rhino. But now, when I think about it, I guess I stepped out of line. I mean, it was his move that finished off the match, not mine. And we were all supposed to be celebrating. So I was pretty unreasonable. And I realize that, and I want to tell both Rhino and Sting, that I'm sorry, and I want to see if there's a chance to work this out."_

"_Jeff Jarrett is a cancer. Jeff Jarrett is bad for business. But most importantly, Jeff Jarrett is a complete jackass in white pants. Just like Vince McMahon. Vince McMahon is a virus. Vince McMahon makes business bad. But most importantly, Vince McMahon is a pompous self-theist asshole in a suit. Which is the important part of why I'm out there fighting against McMahonism, fighting against Planet Jarrett, to rid both camps of the Heavyweight Titles. I don't want to see Jeff Jarrett around here ever again. But I do see him again, every week. I have to live with it, I have to fight it, I have to control and eventually destroy it before Sting's theories come to life and Jarrett slowly but surely kills TNA like some nWo type of poison. These causes, Christian Cage recognizes. These causes, Christian Cage understands. And these causes, Christian Cage supports. Especially considering that each company, under fair authority, would allow for the success of several competent stars that under crooked rule would resist being forced to have no chance, such as myself."_

"_I once heard somebody taunt me and say that I'm jealous of Rhino and Sting, and that they're probably better with girls than me. I'm not gonna knock on my pals now, but I am gonna plug myself. If anyone wants to ask me if this is because I don't do well with girls, let me clarify that I may not be a pimp or a player like that nWo pretty boy, but I don't not do well with girls. Want proof? Stacy Keibler. My tag team partner at Summerslam, and at Unforgiven. I'd say she and I have an excellent chemistry together. Also, as evidenced at SummerSlam, Amy Lee and I are actually quite the pals whenever we can meet. The only problem is her never calling me by my first name for some dumb reason. The relationship between me and Trish Stratus… what can I say about it? She's someone who I regard with the utmost respect, almost as much as my own wife, except on a level entirely apart from her. The only difference between Trish and Denise, who are actually good friends, is that Trish is not the one who I pledged on that altar that I would spend the rest of my life with her. That wasn't Trish Stratus. That was Denise Reso. There's a difference. That's a big difference, but quite frankly, that's the only one personally as far as I'm concerned. All that's left is me beating John Cena in that stupid man-bet, and as you can see it's all good."_

"_Is the incident last week gonna affect my WWE Championship match at the Unforgiven pay-per-view for WWE? No. No way in hell. If it were to affect that, then I wouldn't be Christian Cage. I'd be some pop warner rookie or something claiming to be like Johnny Cage. Hell, I'd probably even be Paul London and Brian Kendrick. They let my titantron video and "Bring Me To Life" affect them. You want proof? Both my old tron video from back when I first broke into my own in WWE and the Bring Me To Life video feature dancers in crazy hooligan masks like those two wear. From what I hear, their every day make a Hardyz party sound normal. And that's hard to do. Anyway, what it affects is this week's Impact. You notice I'm not there, right? I purposely didn't show up… to let cooler heads prevail. Next week, I'm gonna come out there to try and work things out with Rhino and Sting."_

"_Edge & Christian was the most special thing WWE had going for it. There was a tag team with boundless charisma, who could make people laugh and weird people out at the same time like nobody's business. Yet at the same time, we were the most physically talented of all the tag teams in the Attitude era. We proved even past the Hardyz and Dudleyz that we're arguably the #1 tag team in this industry. To win seven titles within two years of each other between the first and the last one? That's gotta be a first in wrestling history. And to think we're both so successful after we split, which is so unprecedented for a tag team, and this Sunday, I go back home in Toronto where it all began, and I'm facing him in a tag match in which I could take the WWE Championship from him. That's major. Hell, I think not only can I do it, I will do it. I'll beat Edge and become the WWE Heavyweight Champion. Then I'll come out there, on TNA Impact, with the WWE title for the first time ever. The world will die. Christian Cage will have made history in the worst way imaginable. And then, I'll ask Sting and Rhino to understand me. And they will. And then I'm gonna celebrate this incident with my TNA and Insurrexion friends, and maybe my wife and I will even invite Trish and her new man for a dish, and all will be well with the world. Neither Vince McMahon nor Jeff Jarrett will be able to claim being or having top dog. The only reason I'm making this promise is because I'm Captain Charisma. Peeps in both companies, prepare to celebrate. That's how I roll."_

-P. Dizzle tha Grand Champion, signing off.


	16. Unforgiven Part 1, Saying Goodbye

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Oh… except for Christan. He's owned by Dixie Carter and Jeff Jarrett.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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a/n: Finally, I've gotten to the PPV. I was wondering when I was gonna take this step at last, but here I am, having finally found some semblance of an opportunity.

EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk (and then "Blood Brother" after it anywhere after Summerslam), so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts.

**Chapter 16: Unforgiven Part 1, Saying Goodbye**

Date & Show: September 17, 2006, WWE Unforgiven 2006

With the anticipation placed on this night, it was looking to be a very big pay-per-view event. Unforgiven 2006 began with an introduction video detailing the events surrounding John Cena vs. CM Punk, and the WWE Championship's tag team match. After this, to the theme song of the show, Jim Ross and Jerry "the King" Lawler, joined by Insurrexion co-founder and ECW play-by-play announcer Joey Styles, were at the table.

Jim Ross: "Hello, ladies and gentlemen! We welcome you to WWE Unforgiven in 2006, which may arguably be the biggest Unforgiven event in World Wrestling Entertainment history! I'm Jim Ross, with Jerry "the King" Lawler and, for one night only, the ECW announcer and co-founder of the Raw Insurrexion forces, Mr. Joey Styles!"

Joey Styles: "Oh, this night, I can smell it's gonna be big! It's gonna be huge! It's gonna be the size of the Titanic!"

Jerry "the King" Lawler: "What, you mean the sinking of the Insurrexion's ship? Because that very well could happen!"

Styles: "It could, King, but then again, it could also happen to McMahonism. Mr. McMahon doesn't have any of those matches where he knows the outcome is gonna be on his behalf."

JR: "You mean squash matches?"

Styles: "Exactly."

JR: "We both know that the very first match on the card will not be a squash match if what we saw last month can tell us anything. It's gonna be Charlie Haas finally taking on Rob Van Dam in defense of his WWE Intercontinental Championship."

Styles: "I know RVD personally from our time in ECW. DX picked a good third man to be on the team, and if my confidence isn't misplaced, I believe that RVD will take the Intercontinental title to D-Generation X."

King: "If anyone beats Charlie for that title, it won't be DX. Trust me."

Styles: "Well, how do you know!? Do you have some kind of inside information or something?"

King: "No, but DX is made for losing titles, but not for gaining them."

JR: "After that, it's gonna be a tag team match, with the Highlanders taking on Cade and Murdoch in a match to determine the pending #1 contenders for the World Tag Team Championships."

Styles: "Tomorrow night, Matt Hardy has to pick a partner to defend against Shelton Benjamin and Shane McMahon. But after that, whether it's Matt and his partner or Shelton and Shane, the World Tag Team Champions must defend against the winners of this match!"

King: "Whatever. At the end of the day, Shelton and Shane McMahon will be the World Tag Team Champions."

Styles: "Remember, Shelton's on a huge critical losing streak."

King: "So? He'll pick himself up! I heard it from Edge!"

JR: "Stop it with what you've heard from Edge, King, and calm down!"

Styles: "All four members of DX have individual matches tonight. This is the second of those matches. Shawn Michaels, the Showstopper, the Heartbreak Kid, the Icon That Can Still Go, the Main Event! Can he become the man who knocked off Umaga for the first time ever?"

JR: "Ever since coming back to WWE with this sudden tribal connection to nature, he's never been pinned or made to submit in his WWE career."

King: "Coming back? Tribal connection to nature?"

JR: "I did a background check. He was here before."

King: "When?"

JR: "Nevermind."

King: "A very sad story is about to break out. Even though I don't like DX, this match isn't gonna be easy for me to watch. It's the hometown girl taking on the hometown champion's girlfriend in her very last match with the WWE."

JR: "Trish Stratus ends her career at home tonight against her career-long rival, Edge's girlfriend Lita. This is bound to be the most emotionally sparking match of the night, despite maybe not being the most notable."

Styles: "What do you mean not the most notable? Not the main event, or what?"

King: "In any case, we will all miss Trish Stratus after this night."

JR: "Carlito takes on Chris Masters in yet another grudge match between these two rivals, and you know Torrie Wilson's gonna be right there standing by Caribbean Cool."

King: "I don't understand how Torrie can hang around someone who thinks he's cool with such a bad afro, you know?"

Styles: "Well, at least she's not sleeping with the boss like Candice Michelle."

King: "At least she's not sleeping with the fishes like, um…"

Styles: "If you say Tupac Shakur, Eddie Guerrero, or _anyone_ of honorable mention, the first fight tonight will be right here."

JR: "Alright, gentlemen. Control yourselves. John Cena and CM Punk are about to go through a major test of intesinal fortitude. Mr. McMahon has informed sources with WWE just today that he's decided to turn their one-on-one encounter into a submission match."

Styles: "Both of these guys have infinite passion, major desire, a love for CM Punk's girlfriend Maria, and a trademark submission maneuver. I suspect at this point that this match is even. But as far as who's gonna win tonight; who knows?"

King: "I think you really might've missed something. CM Punk has Maria, and he has McMahonism behind him. John Cena has a Chain Gang that has once again been banned from the arena!"

JR: "Mr. McMahon loves enforcing those bans. Anyway, there is a more intense match that the world should watch out for. It is a hardcore rules match pitting Mick Foley against long time rival Triple H of D-Generation X."

King: "Thanks to DX, Mick Foley was slimed, and then branded an inferior creature. They messed with his pride, and tonight, Cactus Jack makes the Game pay the ultmate price."

Styles: "King, hello! DX aren't the only guilty parties here! At SummerSlam, Mick Foley counted Edge the WWE Champion in that damn blasted setup at SummerSlam!"

JR: "Well, King, Styles is right."

King: "What!?"

JR: "Our main event is one of the most important matches in the history of this business. Stacy Keibler and Christian Cage, in a "one title can change hands" match against WWE Women's Champion Mickie James and Christian's old friend, WWE Heavyweight Champion Edge."

Styles: "Both the challengers have had the champions' number, and I know Stacy Keibler. She's loyal, she's smart enough _and_ sweet enough to be in this for Christian and not for herself."

King: "She's got an opportunity to win the Women's Championship right here!"

Styles: "Cage winning the WWE title would do so much more! It would singlehandedly destroy both Jeff Jarrett from TNA and Vince McMahon!"

King: "How do you know either title's gonna change hands!?"

Styles: "How do you know they won't!?"

JR: "I can tell this is gonna be a long night for yours truly, and this long night is gonna be memorable for once."

Meanwhile, the show immediately began inside the room of D-Generation X.

"Okay, so tonight, we all know what we have to do. Trish, you're gettin' a pretty damn well done goodbye, while that ho Lita gets nothing but her head knocked in, her body pinned to the floor, and her dreams about more fathers to babies more time to get in her head. Rob, you are going to win the Intercontinental Title and show it off to every McMahonist who ever thought…" Triple H suddenly stopped himself. "…alright, guys, help me out here. Other than their, um… how do you call it again?"

"Delusions of grandeur," Shawn Michaels answered.

"Thanks Shawn," Trips replied. "Anyway, do they have any thoughts that aren't delusions of grandeur?"

"Oh, that's easy. I think they…" Rob Van Dam started to state, but then he blanked out as well. "…shoot. I don't really know, you guys. Can you help me out here?"

"I can't help you out man, I just asked the question," Trips stated in reply.

"Well…" Shawn began to ponder on it as well. "Other than the fact that Umaga-"

"Oh! That Candice dreams about sleeping with all the rest of the McMahonism clique guys, right?" Trish suggested out of nowhere.

"Oh, yeah, so they do!" Shawn realized, acknowledging her correctness. "Well… one. But other than that, and the fact that… Umaga can't think at all unless he can actually formulate some thoughts about his tribal natural instincts… _ah!_ Anyway, other than all that, all they think about is delusions of grandeur! Which reminds me, that tonight, I'm gonna show that islander that all his undefeatedness has been nothing but a farce because he's had Vince McMahon and associates, let his partners lose, or never been challenged at all. He's gonna flop until the very next day once he finally gets done with by HBK. Oh, and… Hunter! I got a question!"

"What is it, Shawn?"

"How come that has-been Mick Foley is trying to relive his glory days _again!?_" Shawn shouted, seemingly aggravated at the subject.

"Yeah, I know, you're right! Is he ever gonna get over the fact that the old Hardcore Legend in him is gone? Why does he keep on trying to bring it back all the time?" Trish commented on Shawn's question. "And now, it's pathetic the way he does it! Joining with Edge and Lita, even joining with them unto McMahonism? What has he got to prove by kissing butt?"

"Guys, hold it! I forgot to tell you guys something. It's either I win or I go to ECW," RVD suddenly announced

"What are you talking about?" Trish questioned.

"Sorry I forgot to say something earlier, but Vince had his people give me a document last night when I was alone. It basically said if I don't win the Intercontinental Championship, that I'm going to ECW and there's nothing I can do about it," he explained.

"Isn't that match supposed to be right now?" Shawn asked, continuing after Rob nodded. "Well, go and beat Charlie Haas already so you can stay in DX with the title!"

"Got it," RVD said, before getting out of the room. Charlie Haas was already in the ring, raising his Intercontinental Title up high with his music rolling. After a few seconds, it finally died out and was replaced by RVD's "One Of A Kind" by Breaking Point. After the usual RVD firework burst, out the man came in a black and green singlet (DX colors) and came out to a raucous reception. Walking down the ramp with his usual relaxed swagger, RVD rolled into the ring, jumped spinning in place in the center of the ring with his arms high, and then did the RVD thumb pose, to which the fans chanted his name. The music died out, and the bell rang. The match was on.

As soon as RVD turned around to face the fans for one second, Haas came over and tried to kick him in the midsection, but RVD blocked it and immediately hit a mule kick, taking Charlie down. Haas slowly got up after RVD did, and Rob placed a few punches to the gut in, followed by a high step-over heel kick on Haas, sending him staggering back into and over the ropes. However, he managed to land on his feet, following which he got on the apron and was immediately pursued by Van Dam. Haas got off the apron, tripped up RVD, then slid into the ring and immediately began to pounce on Van Dam with right hands. However, it didn't keep Rob down long, as he was able to roll away and get up. The two men stared each other down, leading to a few cheers from the fans. They then locked up, RVD got an arm wrench on Haas, Haas reversed it into one of his own, which was so fast and hard it caused RVD to flip over on his rear, RVD got back up and reversed it into a hammerlock, Haas broke out and got his arms around RVD's waist, then lifted him up in a Northern Lights suplex! Haas then kept the hold, floating over into another Northern Lights, following which he tried it yet a third time, but this time RVD ribbed Charlie's arms away and then hit a Northern Lights suplex of his own! He bridged it for a cover on Haas. 1, 2, Charlie kicked out after two.

After this, Van Dam picked up Haas, dropkicked him in the front shin taking him down on his stomach, then ran off the ropes and hit a quick leg drop to the back of Charlie's neck. Rob rolled Haas over and covered him, he kicked out after two. Both men then got up, and RVD went for a step-over heel kick on Haas, but Charlie ducked it, got behind Mr. Pay-Per-View, and got him in a backdrop suplex. After that, Haas crushed RVD's leg with his elbow twice, then got in a side leglock on RVD. Rob, however, was able to use the other leg to kick Haas on the cheek, hoping that it would cause Haas to let go. After a couple seconds of taking kicks, Haas finally did get tired of it and release Van Dam.

Charlie got up a bit faster than Rob, and did not wait for Rob to do anything, as he just hit him with a kick to the gut, then got him in double underhook position and lifted him into a backbreaker from there. Haas dragged RVD away from the ropes and covered him. But the degenerately cool guy kicked out after the count of two. Haas again got up before Rob and went after him, but this time, instead of fully getting up and taking a hit from Haas, RVD tripped him down and then grabbed his legs while flipping over him for a jackknife hold pin cover! 1… 2… no! It didn't work, Haas was able to kick out. But now Rob fastened his rising pace, so that he and Haas got up at the exact same time. Charlie, though, was able to stirke with a couple of right hands, before Rob blocked it and went into a barrage of forearms, then irishwhipped Haas and got him with the kitchen sink attack. However, Charlie was able to use the momentum of that move to get in a rollup on RVD as he went down! 1… 2… RVD kicked out!

Charlie picked up RVD, then tried to go off the ropes. When he came at Van Dam, RVD leap frogged over Haas with his legs stretched out to avoid contact. RVD turned around, Haas came back the other way, RVD jumped again, but this time caught Haas's head between his legs to get in a frankensteiner! Haas got up, but was in the cornre, so RVD got him into the tree of woe position, thrust his shoulder into Charlie's gut three times, backflipped a few steps, then ran towards Haas, thrusting his shoulder into the man's upside-down midsection once more, except hard enough to knock him down. RVD dragged Haas into a perpendicular angle, following which he climbed the turnbuckle, and hit a split-legged moonsault on Haas! 1, 2, Charlie kicked out!

After the kickout, both men once again struggled to get up, but then RVD went for a high spin kick. However, Haas caught his leg and hit him with a leg hook version of a sideslam! He then stayed on hooking the leg for a cover. 1… 2… Rob easily put a shoulder up and kicked out, as there was no pressure on the shoulder or the top of his body whatsoever. Haas got up and started to complain to the referee as RVD picked himself up. As soon as Haas turned around, Van Dam was already up, and hit him with a jumping high spin kick! The Whole Damn Show finally got the cover on Haas. 1… 2… Charlie kicked out again. Both men up, RVD tried to hit a baseball slide-like lower dropkick on Haas, but Charlie was able to jump and avoid contact. After Rob got up, Charlie hit him with an Exploder suplex! The Oklahoma Gem came over to RVD, picked him up, then scooped him up as some sort of move setup, but RVD would have none of it, wiggling out of it and landing on his feet behind Haas. Van Dam turned Haas around, kicked him in the gut, hooked his arm, and got in a vertical suplex. However, he kept the position and picked himself and Haas up, following which he hit another suplex. After that, he got right back up, and seemed to be about to finish the Three Amigos combination of suplexes which Eddie Guerrero made famous, but instead of a third suplex, he got in a brainbuster on Haas! The fans were cheering for RVD, and adding a few Eddie chants in the middle of it as well, as he stood there in amazement at how much the fans were behind him. Soon, though, he got over it and finally got on the turnbuckle.

Shelton Benjamin, though, suddenly came down the ramp, leading to some boos. RVD looked and clearly saw where he was, and as soon as Shelton was within range, RVD redirected his attack towards Shelton and hit the guy with a cross body all the way to the outside! The fans marked out in amazement at what Rob just did, and after a few seconds, he was finally able to start picking himself up. He got down in mount position and punched Shelton Benjamin a little bit, before he could hear a fan screaming at him that he was getting counted out. He then got up off Shelton, thanked the fan, then immediately ran for and slid into the ring. However, by now, Charlie Haas was up, despite his head being somewhat woozy from the brainbuster. Barely seeing Rob and that he was about to attack him, Haas immediately ran out of the ring behind him, on te side opposite the ramp. The ref paying attention and beginning to count Haas out there, he had his back turned and was oblivious to the fact that Shelton was on the apron. Rob came up to him and got a hangman's neckbreaker got his efforts. Though the ref did hear Rob hit the canvas, Shelton his under the ring so that when he turned back, he saw nothing. The fans booed this entire sequence. A few seconds after this, Haas got his bearings straight, got back into the ring, and, seeing Rob grimacing with pain as he picked himself up, took advantage by catching him in a German suplex and keeping on the bridge for the cover. 1… 2… 3!

"Here is your winner, and still the WWE Intercontinental Champion, Charlie Haas!"

With that announcement, Haas quickly left the ring and got his Intercontinental Championship back on the outside, following which he got his hand raised by the ref and quickly left, a mixed assortment of reactions accompanying the scene as he left without turning his back. Had he done so, he would've seen Shelton Benjamin, who got out from under the ring and slid into the ring. He asked for a mic and got one, then began to speak.

"Hey, Robbie. Robbie V!" Shelton taunted, using an old and loose version of the man's ring name. "Mr. McMahon just wanted me to give you a personal message before you went to ECW. And the message goes like this: (gets in singsong voice) na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye! Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye! Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, GOOD RIDDANCE!"

As Shelton's music came on, the fans booed at him using the ceremonial song of heels' goodbye at someone the fans had liked and cheered for his entire career. Meanwhile, he looked in the ring and smiled boastfully, before exiting and walking off to the back with his same old cocky stride.

After this, we found John Cena alone in his locker room, before a knock suddenly appeared on his door.

"Come on in," John invited. It was none other than the guy who was a story ever since some nine days ago, "Captain Charisma" Christian Cage.

"Well, whaddya know? You actually showed up!" John quipped with a pepped up smile.

"John Cena, it's good to see ya, man. What's up?" Christian asked casually.

"What's up is, um, I wanna know exactly what that was all about back a couple weeks ago, before you had your week to no-show," Cena explained.

"You mean you didn't watch Impact?" Christian questioned, knowing that he did explain himself.

"Yeah, I did, and I heard what you said, but-"

"But what?" Christian cut in, interrupting John.

"Nevermind, CLB," Cena shrugged it off.

"Don't start calling me that," Christian objected to the name.

"Hey, guys. What's going on?" Trish Stratus asked, coming into the room.

"Oh, Trish. Nice to see ya," John greeted kindly. "First of all, good luck goin' out there and beatin' the crap out of some ho that goes out with that guy Christian's gon' beat tonight."

"Yeah, especially since we don't need Lita bragging to Maria and everyone else that she beat Trish Stratus on her last day here," Christian posted. John and Trish both stared at him incredulously, John's stare seemingly semi-hostile. In self-defense, Christian then asked and claimed: "What? Lita seems to be skinkin' in close to Maria, so it is a good point."

"In that case, then agreed. You just reminded me about why I fight for da Chain Gang and alongside D-Generation X to remove Vince & Shane McMahonism from the face of Raw," Cena pointed out.

"'_Vince and Shane McMahonism'_?" Trish asked, questioning the lengthened title.

"Yeah. Vince and Shane McMahonism. You think Stephanie and Mrs. McMahon go wit' that flow?" Cena asked back. Christian and Trish looked at him confused, until he continued. "They run the board. The board brought back Eric Bischoff. If they followed Vinny's self-religion, Stace and E.B. wouldn't even be on Raw right now."

Meanwhile, back in the ring, Rob Van Dam was up on his feet, receiving a standing ovation from the fans at Unforgiven. He was moving on to what despite the name was really a new brand under the basics of an old promotion in ECW. And they intended to give him a proper sendoff. He stood in the middle of the ring, doing the RVD thumb taunt one more time, before rolling out of the ring. Triple H and a dressed-to-compete Shawn Michaels came out, stopped at the stage, and waited for Rob to walk over to them. He did so, and embraced his now former DX teammates, with some complimentary words shared by Shawn Michaels, before walking away from Raw with them, and the adoring cheers from the crowd, behind him.

There was a tag team match, though, right after that. To decide future #1 contenders for the World Tag Team Championships, pairing the Highlanders against Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. Robbie kicked out of the high and low before, and Murdoch got Cade out of a Scot Drop at one certain point in time. The match, in retrospect, actually ended up being even, until Eric Bischoff suddenly came out and announced that there was going to be a third team in this match. That third team turned out to be none other than "Da Beast" Shad Gaspard and "the Neighborhoodie" JTG, the tag team known as Cryme Tyme. They walked out to a standing ovation due to the comedic nature of their criminal videos, and immediately showed to both teams that they had some skills. This included, following the isolation of all the tag teams, Gaspard holding Cade by the legs over his shoulders while J got into the ring, climbed the turnbuckle, and took Cade off their by hitting him with a cross body with both men falling at least ten feet! Gaspard holding off Murdoch and neither McAllister cousin getting there in time meant Cryme Tyme were the future #1 contenders for the World Tag Team Titles.

Meanwhile, we go into McMahonism locker rooms after this, and in one of them, you see the two couples. Edge and Lita, CM Punk and Maria.

"So, Punker. Are you scared at all about, um… well, you know," Lita asked while skirting around the issue.

"You mean me facing John Cena in a submission match tonight? No. I'm not scared of facing him at all. I want to face him. So that I can get rid of him," CM replied firmly once more.

"You mean… (gulp) you're gonna kill him?" Maria asked tentatively.

"No. I'm not gonna kill him. I'm gonna end his pursuit of you. Even if that means I have to make him tap. Even if it means I have to make him pass out. Even if that means I have to end his career,"

"End his career!?"

"Whoa, whoa, hold on a minute, CM. I don't think you have to go that far, actually ending his career," Edge objected, standing up off the black leather sofa.

"What are you talking about?" Punk asked.

"I am Edge. The WWE Heavyweight Champion. And, as you know, I have some score with Vince McMahon," Edge vaguely began. "Well, I used that score in order to get you a match, depending on if you can win this match. See, on any of the five Raw episodes in October, you're gonna get a ladder match, with John Cena's Raw contract in the briefcase. You get to choose which event this match is gonna take place in. And if you win the match and get the contract, you get to rip it up and send him right back to Smackdown, where he couldn't touch Maria before and he can't touch Maria now. All you have to do to get that match is to whoop John Cena's ass right here in the middle of this ring and make either him or his body submit."

"And that's exactly what I intend to do to that, um… what was that word again? Chump-something?" Punk stopped to ask.

"Chump_stain_," Edge replied. "And speaking of chumpstains, I have an interview after the whole match with Trish Stratus and Lita, by which I let loose and shake off with my views on that chumpstain partner Christian who, along with the entire Insurrexion's little girlfriend, Mickie James and I will beat tonight to keep both the Mickie's Women's Title and my Heavyweight Title under McMahonist rules."

"Edge, I just realized something," Maria spoke, then stood up, which prompted Punk and Lita to do so as well. "You're back home tonight. Back home to the loving arms of all your hometown stars and studs in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. (insert cheers) Where, for once, I don't think you're gonna get judged just because we're with Mr. McMahon's religious family."

"Actually, I think I get judged all the time because what I care about the most is Lita and me, and I don't kiss up to fans for anything," Edge explained. "But hey, it's a price to pay for reeking of awesomeness as the most true WWE Champion in the history of this industry." Then, a knock came on the door and stopped everything.

"Mickie?" CM Punk asked.

"Yeah," the voice outside answered, clearly sounding like James. It turned out to be her, with the Women's Title on her shoulder, when Lita opened the door.

"Hey, are you gonna be in Umaga's corner for the match next against Michaels?" Lita immediately inquired.

"Candice can do that. I just came here to hang out with you guys. My favorite friends in the whole wide world," Mickie replied with a daydreaming smile. "By the way, why isn't Foles here?" she then asked.

"Oh, well Foles is actually sitting in the boiler room. Trying to get himself focused, in "the hardcore zone", for the match against Triple H tonight," Edge explained to James.

"Either that or he's calling friends," Maria stated out of howhere. The rest of them all stared at her incredulously. "What? He could be."

"You're right, but Maria, I don't think so," Mickie replied, trying to be nice.

Meanwhile, back in the main arena, Umaga's music came on, but Candice Michelle was the first to come out, and she shook her moneymaker a little bit, before Umaga followed suit. The two walked down the ramp side by side, Candice trying to look sultry alongside the no-nonsense Tribal Titan. Once they were down the ramp, she walked around the steel steps, while Umaga climbed them and went through the ropes to enter the ring, following which he stood in the middle of the ring and screamed out with his arms open wide. He was highly jeered for this. After this, Umaga's music died out, and Shawn Michaels' "Sexy Boy" entrance music came on, leading to a huge mixed reaction of cheers and boos as the Heartbreak Kid came out with a formerly usual stride of controlled hyperness. He stopped mid-ramp to get down on his knees in that prayer position which sparked the HBK fireworks. After this, he got right back up and slid into the ring, then stretched his arms out spinning in place in the ring, following which he pointed forwards with each index finger in a manner somewhat similar to Foley's "bang bang" taunt, followed by his own traditional "Sexy Boy" pose. Some of these fans did not like the posing of HBK, though most were, thanks to the anti-McMahonism role taken by Shawn over the past year or so, over his part in the infamous event of 1997 and on the side of Mr. Michaels tonight.

Shawn and Umaga circled the ring, before finally locking up. Umaga almost instantly pushed Shawn back into the corner, showing that he was indeed so much bigger and stronger than the Heartbreak Kid. After he got him into the corner, he tried to slap him in the chest, but Michaels ducked, got behind Umaga, and hopped on his back. However, he didn't go around Umaga's neck and get snapmared for hi. He raked the eyes of the Samoan Bulldozer in a rare dirty tactic, following which he got off, turned Umaga around, and hit the Samoan Super Smash Brother with a few right hands, which eventually ended up in the corner. Shawn then trailed off a little bit, then went for a clothesline and hit it on Umaga. He walked off again, then charged at Umaga a second time, but this time, Umaga lifted his bare foot up and it got in Shawn Michaels' face, knocking down the Heartbreak Kid and taking away from his moment. Umaga took a small respite to get himself in order, but Shawn immediately got up and jumped him from behind, which failed to knock him down, then went right back to punching him in the face. In the spirit of humorous degeneracy, Michaels even slapped Umaga in the face in the corner, causing the Bulldozer to get out of the corner and chase after Michaels. Shawn then did several DX crotch chops, prompting Umaga to leave the ring to go after him even more. After running around one ring post, Michaels got into the ring, then ran off the ropes while Umaga slid in and continued running after him, and hit with a diving forearm, which actually managed to knock Umaga down! Umaga got up right away, though, after which Shawn kipped up. Umaga kicked him in the gut, doubling him over, then hit him with a low roundhouse kick straight to the side of the head! Umaga then covered Michaels. 1, 2, kickout by the Showstopper.

Umaga picked up Michaels, then struck Michaels' jaw extra hard, following which he picked Michaels up by the legs and sent him over the top rope. Umaga then got in the face of the referee, following which Candice Michelle came over, bent down, and actually struck Michaels in the head with her wand. Though it may not have been very hard, it did give Michaels an annoying sting, as well as apparently draw some kind of ire. Because out came, to the ring, none othan a stern-faced, unpleased-looking Stephanie McMahon! Making her way to the ring in her typical stride, Stephanie did not come to the ring. She came to where Candice was, and immediately ejected Candice without any stunts! The fans, for the first time in the longest time, were now getting something to cheer about, and in turn began cheering, for a McMahon! Candice was trying to clear herself, to explain, throw excuses, so that she could stay there, but Stephanie would have none of it. She stood firmly, ordering Candice to leave, and pointing to the stage, specifically the curtains behind the stage.

With Candice still whining in her own self defense, Umaga had come down out of the ring and rolled Michaels in by now. Umaga just slid into the ring and went after Shawn, who just started getting up. Shawn again went for a right hand on Umaga, but this time, Umaga countered, and struck the Showstopper with a quick headbutt, taking Michaels down. Umaga picked up Shawn, irishwhipped him into the corner, and quickly charged at him in a body avalance, crushing the Heartbreak Kid as the motion saw him sit on the floor in the corner. Umaga walked off for a little bit, but then charged towards Michaels. Shawn, though, was able to get out of the corner and roll away as soon as Umaga turned around and backed up into the corner. Umaga bounced off the corner, his keister not knocking Michaels' head back as a result. Shawn recouperated himself a bit outside the ring, where by now Stephanie was standing there observing the festivities, having finally gotten Candice to leave. Umaga came down to the outside, but immediately after he did so, Shawn ran away from him, leading to a chase around the ring. Once he was a a whole side ahead of Umaga, Shawn tried getting in the ring right then and there in the hopes that he could use the momentum to hit Umaga. However, Umaga got into the ring on the other side of the post at the same time, following which Umaga struck him with a quick clothesline. Umaga picked up Michaels immediately and scooped him, then set him up in the tree of woe position. Umaga then backed up, following which he charged foward and leapt for a headbutt drop into Shawn's head. However, Michaels managed to lift his body up from within the tree of woe, causing Umaga's head to hit nothing but steel ring post!

Michaels was able to move his body around the post so that he was sitting on the turnbuckle. He then jumped off, and tried to drag Umaga by the ankle out of the ropes area. However, Umaga's size advantage over Michaels made it a little tough, but he still was able to do it. Umaga, though, pushed himself off the ground, rolled around, and kicked Shawn away, after which both men got up and Michaels went towards Umaga once more. Umaga lifted and tossed Michaels up over him, but Shawn was able to turn his body around, grab Umaga, and turn what was supposed to be the Wild Samoan Drop into a faling reverse DDT! Michaels went on his back, and after a few seconds, did his famous kip-up one more time, following which he pranced with controller hyper energy around the ring, before finally climbing one of the turnbuckles and hitting the Heartbreak Elbow off the top rope. After this, Michaels went for the cover on Umaga. 1… 2… no! Umaga kicked out! After this, Michaels got up, started to complain to the referee, but made sure to look back every few seconds while he did so. As soon as he saw that Umaga was not only getting up, but almost up, he comlpetely stopped, and, as soon as Umaga was up enough, went for Sweet Chin Music. But Umaga was able to block it and, keeping a hold on the leg, hit Michaels with a hard forearm to the midsection, sending him right back down! Umaga then covered Michaels one more time. 1… 2… no! Umaga then picked up Shawn Michaels, then screamed with his taped right thumb high in the air, obviously going for the Samoan Spike. The giveaway allowed Michaels enough time to be able to duck out of the way of the move once it came, following which he immediately tried to chip away at Umaga's leg with several kicks to the rear shin. Shawn then ran off the ropes, and hit a low dropkick to Umaga, knocking him down flat on his back. Michaels then finally got up, tuned up the band with his boot to the mat in that oh-so-familiar stance. Once Umaga was up on his feet enough, HBK went for Sweet Chin Music once again. It connected perfectly… or so it seems. However, the Samoan Bulldozer managed to dodge it by selling it hyst a early much like Tyson Tomko had done once earler. Despite not feeling anything, Michaels guessed it must have been a light deal and went for the cover on Umaga. 1… 2… the big Samoan clearly kicked out with authority, powering out of it! Michaels looked to the referee with amazement on his face, following which he looked to the crowd practically begging for an answer. However, he soon was turned around by Umaga, following which the Manster hit him with that Samoan Spike. He then went for the cover. 1… 2… Triple H's music suddenly came on, sparking the crowd into a huge frenzy!

Triple H then came out with a not-so-happy look on his face and one of his "King of Kings" design T-shirts and a pair of jeans. He also happened to have a sledgehammer in his hand. However, he wasn't coming from behind that curtain, he was coming from behind the backstage area, through the crowd! Trish Stratus suddenly came from behind the curtain, running down the ramp and quickly getting onto the apron, which distracted the referee. Stephanie stood frowning, not having wanted anything to interrupt the match, but she did not react and eject Trish. Rather, she looked to the center of the ring, where Umaga was still looking around because Triple H's music was still playing. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Triple H come over the guardrail with hammer in hand heading towards the ring and took a few steps towards him, but did not do anything after he slid into the ring with the hammer. As soon as Umaga turned around his way, he ended up getting whacked by the sledgehammer, following which the music finally died out. As if that wasn't conspicuous at all, Trips turned to Stephanie to give her a wink, and she replied by then putting on an amused smirk! The fans cheered on this Kodak moment, following which the Game placed his degenerate friend on top of Umaga, theh left the area the same way that he came. It was after this that Stephanie finally got tired of Trish, went to her, pulled her off the apron, and ejected her, but Trish, unlike Candice, left with no complaints, Stephanie carefully following her, and the ref turned back to where Shawn was on top of Umaga and he counted. 1… 2… 3!

"Here is your winner, "the Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels!"

When Lilian Garcia shouted this out and the DX music went on, the fans went absolutely wild, for as was currently being pointed out by Jim Ross at the announcer's table, Shawn Michaels, thanks to Triple H and Toronto's own Trish Stratus, just became the first person to ever pin Umaga since his return to the WWE as Umaga! However, there was someone that wasn't so happy about that. That someone was CM Punk, the Straight Edge Revolver himself. Punk ran down the ramp and rushed into the ring, then picked up Michaels, set him into the corner, hit him with the slap, backhand, and spinning backhand, following which he locked him in position for a uranage slam. He turned around with Shawn in his grasp, but before he could jump for the actual slam, a familiar entrance music was coming on. It was "Modest" by Peroxwhygen, the band of former WWE/TNA professional wrestler Jeff Hardy, which he used as his theme… back in TNA! But while the lights turned both blue and green and were going all over the place, and the fans were off their feet, Jeff Hardy wasn't present just yet. After about 13 seconds, out he came rushing towards the ring!

CM let go of Shawn and got into a fist fight with Jeff Hardy, which the Charismatic Enigma quickly won after hitting a shot to the midsection, then a monkey flip on Punk, taking him over Hardy and down. Punk then got up in the corner, was irishwhipped to the other side by Jeff, who came at him with a clothesline, then hit him with a bulldog. After this, Hardy aligned Punk perpendicularly to the turnbuckle they were nearest to, following which he climbed said turnbuckle. The fans were going rowdy, expecting the Swanton Bomb to be next, before our WWE Heavyweight Champion Edge suddenly rushed into the ring… and Jeff instead hit Edge with a flying clothesline, which actually received a major mixed reaction! After this, Jeff got in mount position and began to flurry away at Edge with right hands, before Shane McMahon appeared from behind with a steel chair with some cheers on his side! As soon as Jeff got off and turned around, he was struck by the Boy Wonder, who immediately started dancing in the ring, before helping both Punk and Edge get up. The trio started stomping on Jeff Hardy, until they suddenly saw Cena and Christian Cage rushing out after them to fans' applause. Shane, Punk, and Edge all immediately ran out of the ring and left retreating up the ramp while Cena's music went on and he, while Christian stood guard, tended to Jeff.

Minutes later, Edge, Shane, and Punk all found the inside of one of the McMahonism locker rooms.

"What the hell was that!?" Punk demanded in frustration as Maria came to him.

"CM, shut up!" Shane rashly ordered him. "Do you understand what's going on around here? Somebody's got power and they're using it against me!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a sec. Who could possibly have the power and the purpose to counteract yours just like that?" Shelton Benjamin stepped up and asked.

"I don't know, but what I do know is that my sister was just out here being her usual incompetent self, basically giving Triple H and Shawn the open floor to turn this into a handicap match so that Shawn could beat Umaga! And somebody, I don't know who, just decided that they were gonna let Jeff Hardy come back with his band's music from when he got fired from WWE and started working _down south_ so that he could jump people and not even tell me about it!" Shane complained in greater detail. "Obviously, this sounds like some kind of purposeful abuse of power from somewhere up top to try and go against McMahonism, and I won't stand for it!"

"Shane-O, I agree. Unfortunately, I agree," Shelton said. "But you know what I think it actually is? I think that Matt Hardy has chosen Jeff to carry on for his tag team titles."

"What a dumbass!" Edge exclaimed, starting to laugh. He earned a stare from CM and Shane, who demanded to know what was so funny.

"Easy. If my blackest friend in the whole world, Shelton Benjamin, just got it right, it seems to me that a certain whining bitchwipe we know just picked, as a tag team partner, his little brother whose career died three years ago when he started taking heroin! How in the hell are they supposed to keep their tag team titles as a result of that?" Edge questioned Matt Hardy's possible judgment with a wise smile on his face.

"Still, it is a Hardy Boyz reunion. Trust me, I know what those two guys can do together. I wouldn't put it past Matt and Jeff to have thought of it over the week while Taka was recovering from that major league beating you put on him last week," Lita pointed out, putting her arms around Edge at the end.

"Just so they can't surprise us with another partner, I'm booking the match oficially as Matt and Jeff, with the titles able to change hands on any decision. Any other partner tries to come in? Disqualification, bam! Shelton Benjamin and Shane McMahon, new tag team champions," Shane announced. Shane, Shelton, Edge, and Lita all smiled now, until Edge remembered something.

"Oh! I almost forgot. I have to get Toad Grisham in the blue room for an exclusive "Cutting Edge floor" interview after the match with Trish," Edge explained. "Speaking of which, Lita? I'm trusting you to beat her ass and make her the failure of this Toronto trip."

"Thanks, babe," Lita said, giving Edge a kiss for that.

"Excuse me, but… we've gotta go," Edge said, before taking Lita and leaving the locker room. Shelton and Shane watched them leave, th

"You think we got a good thing going here with Edge in the house?" Shelton asked.

"I sure do," Shane replied, getting Shelty B in a low handshake, following which they both snapped their fingers.

Meanwhile, Trish Stratus was doing a little last minute stretching before her final match. After a couple more hamstring stretches, Trish got up, and sighed, looking up in the air and apparently remembering her about-to-finish WWE life.

"Hey," a voice said which startled her. She turned around and saw Christian Cage, whose voice it was that startled her, and Stacy Keibler.

"Hi," Trish said, missing some of her usual spark. "So, what's up this time? Still wanna kiss me out there in front of all these people?"

"Didn't he say you told him your fiancée didn't want to see that?" Stacy recalled.

"Yeah, I could clearly remember you telling me that off the air last week," Christian confirmed the fact. "Anyway, Stace and I are already getting ourselves ready for the big main event tonight, as well as a "Peep Show exclusive" interview I'm gonna have tonight about it somewhere after you're already gone from the arena."

"Oh?" Trish inquired, curious about that last part.

"Don't worry. The interview taking place after you're gone has nothing to do with you. It's just that Edge had to take the first interview spot," Christian explained.

"Hey, before you go, I just wanna say: thanks. Not just for being the best woman wrestler I've ever seen, but also, thanks for being such a good friend," Stacy stated honestly.

"You know, that… save that for later. I have a match coming up now. I don't want to be shedding tears _before_ I kick Lita's ass one last time," Trish requested.

"Actually, you can count on me about those acolades. The whole time you kick Lita's ass, I'm just gonna be talking about how hot you are," Christian jested.

"Christian!" Stacy immediately objected to the fact.

"Relax, I'm kidding. I'm not gonna pay any more attention about that than I already do. Jeez," Christian countered half-whiningly.

"What's that?" Stacy asked.

"Nothing," Christian replied quickly.

"She has you whipped tonight," Trish stated facetiously.

"Well, we are teaming together in the big match, and Denise isn't here, which basically forces couple status on me and Stacy tonight for all my Peeps," Christian stated. "I've gotta show off _someone_ to everybody in my hometown. And I figure it might as well be her."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Cage. Did I hurt your feelings or something by not convincing John I'm head over heels for you?" somebody else suddenly said. That someone, as Christian saw when he turned around, turned out to be none other than Amy Lee again!

"Whoa, Amy! I didn't know you were gonna be here. If I did, I woulda boasted you around instead," Cage said immediately.

"Yeah, but like Stacy and Trish, I wouldn't let you kiss me. We all have other people, you know," Amy reminded Captain Charisma.

"Crap, you're right," Christian admitted in joke complaint. "So, what exactly brings you here?"

"I just came to see the match and root for you guys. Is that so bad? I've been waiting for you to show up your old friend. You know, that Edge guy. And… now's your chance," the Rock Faerie replied.

"Speaking of matches, it's go time, Trish," Christian turned to inform her.

"Alright. Wish me luck, C. Bye," Trish said, waving timidly a little before walking off for the match. Jeff Hardy and John Cena suddenly appeared from behind Christian and put a hand on each of his shoulders.

"Looks to me like you got some kinda reverse game or somethin'. You win," Cena said to Cage.

"Oh, my god. You bet on girls again?" Amy groaned in disappointment.

"Yeah, but this time it's a stupid one," Stacy explained. "He told me about it. All we had to do is like him."

And that sent Amy Lee, and Jeff Hardy, laughing just a little bit.

The familar laugh from Trish Stratus, now accompanied by Lil' Kim saying the words "I don't care what y'all say", was the understood precursor to Lil Kim's "Time to Rock and Roll", the entrance song of Trish Stratus which was the first thing to send these fans into the "biggest pop of the night" state. Trish came out, pointing to the sky in trademark fashion and peaking the cheers right after they were about to subside a little bit. She then walked over to the each side of the stage to point to the crowd there once, following which she walked down the ramp high-fiving some fans. The Stratusfaction Agent got into the ring and did the thing where she faces three sides of the fans and points to the sky for them to capture and cheer. Then, Lita's music came on and she began to receive a mixed reaction almost immediately, for reasons related to Trish and her career. Lita came out at the stage wearing one of her non-black getups and flicked her hair back and to the side at the stage as she came out, then walked down the ramp yakking off to some fans about being better than they say or that they are or something. Once down the ramp, she slid into the ring, got on her knees, and rose to her feet in her own typical fashion, folliowing which she got on one of the turnbuckles and threw up the Corna hand signal.

After she came off the turnbuckle, the bell rang, and the two women instantly got in each other's face, this being the final confrontation between Trish and Lita, assuming that Trish isn't gonna come back since she obviously doesn't have any immediate plans to do so. In the midst of the heartfelt jaw-jacking between the two women, Lita stepped back and reared her hand so that she could swing at Trish and give her a hard slap to the cheek. But before Trish could retaliate, Lita quickly came over and threw her down by the hair in a rear mat slam, following which she came down and choked Trish with both hands, leading to the referee's DQ count. Lita let go when the count hit three, following which she immediately rose to her feet and kicked Trish in the side of the ribs, leading to her rolling away to the outside. Lita waited for Trish to get up, and as soon as she did, Lita slingshot over the ropes to hit a flying cross body to the outside on Trish. After hitting the move, Lita picked Trish up, grabbed her by the hair and rammed her into the apron, following which she rolled her into the ring. Lita then got into the ring herself and covered her old enemy Trish, who was instantly able to kick out after the count of two.

Lita then picked Trish up, then slapped her once again, but this time spent too much aftertime talking trash, with led to Trish coming right back with a furious flurry of forearms, following which Trish irishwhipped Lita, went down for Lita to jump over her, then greeted her second return with the Air Canada maneuver, the Lou Thezs Press followed by a flurry of mounted punches which only stopped when the ref's DQ count got to four. Trish then picked up Lita, sent her into the corner, then hit a couple of backhand chops, following which she licked her hand and hit a third knife edge chop. This one knocked Lita down into a seat on the mat in the corner, which Trish easily took advantage of in order to press onto Lita's shoulders with both of her feet, using the ropes for leverage. Understanding this as a move that Christian Cage would do from time to time, the Toronto fans cheered very loudly at Trish's tribute to her friend on her own last moment in the horizon. Trish then walked off a little, then charged towards Lita and got her in the Bronco Buster! Both moves Trish got up with the ref's count hitting four, and after the Bronco Buster, Lita tried to roll away, and Trish did the "suck it" crotch chop repeatedly, showing that even now she was still DX! Lita rolled away to the outside, and Trish went down after her, but as soon as she picked up Lita, the Rated X Redhead tore away from Trish's grip and then rammed Trish into the apron, following which she hit her with a right hand, and then rolled her into the ring. Lita climbed up the steel steps, then got on the turnbuckle, and waited for Trish Stratus to get up. Once Trish did so, Lita caught her in position for a hurracanrana, but instantly after the turn, Trish countered into a powerbomb!

After she did this, both womem struggled to get up, a Last Man Standing count hitting the count of three before both women stirred and then got up. Lita and Trish entered an exchange of forearm shivers, which Lita took over when she hit Trish with a kick to the midsection, which was quickly followed up on a Russian legsweep followed by a floatover. Lita got in a few punches on Trish on the ground, following which she picked up Trish, then set her in a front facelock and walked around backwards with Trish in this position for a few seconds, receiving boos for this. Trish, though, took the time-given opporunity in order to push out of the maneuver. Lita tried to charge towards Trish with a clothesline, but Trish escaped it with the MaTrish dodge, following which both women turned around and Trish hit a quick Chick Kick on Lita! Trish got the cover. 1… 2… no! Lita kicked out!

Trish, a little surprised, got up and picked up Lita, following which she irishwhipped her and tried to go for a Double A spinebuster. However, Lita countered into a frankensteiner right when Trish was about to take her down for the slam! Lita then got up, climbed the nearest turnbuckle to herself and Trish, then went for and hit the Litasault on Trish! Lita slid off a little, then crawled towards Trish for the cover. 1… 2… and then Trish reversed it into an inside cradle! 1… 2… 3-no! Lita barely was able to kick out of the pinfall maneuver! The Queen of Extreme, though, was the first to get up. She picked up Trish Stratus and then hit an inverted suplex landing Trish gut first into the ropes, following which she slammed her down on her back, then went into the corner most opposite of where Trish was, waiting for Trish to get up. Lita conspicuously looked a little bit like her boyfriend Edge. As soon as Trish finally got up from that, Lita came charging at her, apparently for a Spear. However, Trish was able to dodge it, and Lita hit the ring post shoulder first! After that, Trish was able to get up, and she not only got Lita out of the predicament exactly, she turned her around, and sat her on the second turnbuckle. Trish got on the second turnbuckle, then sat Lita on the top turnbuckle, and the crowd was beginning to get very excitable. She then turned sideways and locked Lita's head in, then leapt off in a super bulldog variant of the Stratusfaction! After this, Trish finally covered Lita. 1… 2… 3!

Instead of Trish Stratus's music though, Evanescence's "Bring Me To Life" came on, after which Amy Lee, along with Jeff Hardy and Christian Cage, all came out, receiving much respect from the people just because who they were. The three of them came into the ring, then the song was instantly cut off by "Break It Down", the music of D-Generation X. Triple H and Shawn Michaels, the two remaining DX members, both came out and were smiling. Michaels was clapping, and Trips held a microphone. And they were cheered for. They didn't do any antics as they walked down the ramp, then used the steps and ropes to enter the ring.

"Ladies and gentlemen, your winner for the last time - currently - ever, right here in her home backyard of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, the one and only Trish Stratus!" Triple H shouted out, receiving gigantic cheers for this statement. "Now, usually, as Trish has learned from gravitating alongside us, being a member of DX means we elite superstars come together to have fun and always seek out an opportunity to bring humor into the lives people at the expense of the dumbasses and jackasses (coughMcMahonismcough) of the WWE. However, tonight we are not here to satire the world. We are here to honor someone. We are here to honor the greatest woman wrestler of our time, a personal friend of ours, and the first lady of this brand new incarnation of the single greatest force in the universe known as D-Generation X, the Quintessential Diva herself, Toronto's Gift, Trish Stratus. (insert loud cheers) Now, Trish. You have provided some of the greatest moments in WWE history. The first ever five-time, six-time WWE Women's Champion. Becoming one of the ladies thrust through the tables by the Dudley Boyz. Beating Jazz and Victoria in what could be the greatest Women's Championship match in WrestleMania history to get the title back from Victoria at WrestleMania XIX. Two years before that, being the first of Vince McMahon's adulterous relationships, and as of now the only one that learned her lesson in the midst of it and quickly turned to get the better of him in a most embarrassing way, which you did at WrestleMania X-Seven. Now, Torrie did seduce Vince into being depantsed right before his wife Linda, but that doesn't count. And who could forget another WrestleMania humiliation. WrestleMania XX. At Madison Square Garden, where last week you won your final match on Raw, then gave a very touching farewell. Trish, yYou settled the love triangle with Chris Jericho and Christian by stabbing Jericho in the back and joining alongside fellow native Toronto Canadian Christian in what would be the most embarrassing and overly humbling moment in King CJ's entire career until the night he begged after getting fired by Eric Bischoff. (insert cheers) And you can imagine the deeper surprise when Christian and Trish revealed behind the scenes that it was a practical joke based off of Jericho's pathetic lack of handling of his crush on Trish, which resulted in Christian using the whole "Canadian dollar bet" as an excuse for Jericho to talk to Trish. But enough about the past. See, we actually know about a guy, from… from Trish's past, that's known her since Shawn and I were running around in the Kliq. He also happens to be important to her present as well. His name, ladies and gentlemen, is Ron Fiscio. And he, not the victims of this year's earlier Stratus-James hilariatics, is the true fiancée to the greatest women's champion of all time. Oh, and we got in touch with Mr. Fiscio, who has given me full room to permit yet another dream couple kiss for the ages right here."

Trish then hurriedly took the microphone.

"What are you talking about?" she demanded, then threw the mic to Shawn, thinking him more honest.

"Trish, calm yourself down. We don't know the guy's number. We stole your phone and found it when you got out of the locker room," Shawn answered, putting a look of shock on her face, as well as a reaction of amused cheers for everyone. "Then we asked him a very entertaining question. And, it went like this: since the other guy people wanted to see Trish with, Jeff Hardy, is back, do you think that maybe you could extend a little leeway so that Trish can give Jeff Hardy the kiss he once dreamed of, that so many fangirls have been wanting to see for ages, as Trish's final goodbye to Jeff Hardy and to the WWE until that moment comes when she feels like coming back? (insert cheers) And his answer, ladies and gentlemen, was surprisingly a jubilant yes!"

"Hold on!" Trish said, taking the mic back and actually getting booed a little. "Do you people really want to see that, huh? Do you people really want to see me, your hometown heroine, Trish Stratus, actually literally kiss this rainbow freak Jeff Hardy and the business goodbye, in the middle of this ring right now? (insert cheers as Trish turns to Jeff) Well, Charismatic Enigma, get ready to pucker up. Because now's your one and only chance at this."

With the fans going rowdy for this in the middle of the ring, Trish grinning along with her Degenerate partners while Jeff just looked around, Christian took the opportunity to get a microphone.

"Peeps and fools who know Christian Rules, how 'bout some complete chaos up in this school!?" Christian asked in rhymes, some of these hometown fans, who were also his own, shouting wildly now in his favor. "Okay, let's see here. Trish about to kiss WWE goodbye with Jeff Hardy as the company symbol… D-Generation X… the Neo-Goth Victorian Princess and the one and only Captain Charisma… I don't know about you guys, but as far as I go, this looks like about a perfect situtaion for a five second pose! (insert loud cheers) Amy, I'm gonna need you to lean back Eddie Guerrero style on the ropes. DX, I know you guys are not gonna pass up an opportunity to chop your own balls off in telling people to suck on 'em, (insert crowd laughter) and Trish and the Enigma, as well as myself, already know what we're gonna do, so allow me to get out this ring and then, for the benefit of all my Peeps with flash photography, (insert loud cheers) we're all gonna show you what it means to reek of awesomeness because in this business, nobody knows entertainment and charisma like me, because that's how I roll!"

After the self-proclamation of greatness, Christian allowed Trish to take center stage, with a DX member on each side. Amy Lee, with Cage's help, leaned on the ropes Eddie Guerrero style on the side opposite his, then Cage went back to his side, got out of the ring, walked up the steel steps, then climbed the turnbuckle. After this, a piece of teen show style music which sounds like something Edge and Christian might've used came on, and after this, Jeff and Trish finally had the dream kiss, and Christian did his usual pointing kisses thing, except in the direction of the central picture of Trish and Jeff, as was helped by the angle at which he was turned thanks to how he got on the turnbuckle. Amy was noticeably leaning back, and in the midst of this, Trips and Michaels did the DX crotch chop in their usual pattern, leading to the X fireworks going behind the group as the whole thing happened. It actually shook up Lee a little and made her fall, but she just stayed on her knees and laughed about it in the end, which helped the pose more than it hurt it. The fans were enjoying the moment, as were all six of the people currently in the ring, who all engaged in a group hug. Trish then gave each of them individual embraces, followed by some words. The teen show song was cut off for Trish's entrance music finally, and then John Cena and Stacy Keibler came over at the ramp as Trish led the group in walking out of the ring. After some words with the both of them, and a hug from her good friend and fellow blonde Stacy, Trish walked away, and the fans cheered her on and chanted "Thank you Trish", knowing that this was the goodbye, the final note, from the 100 Ass-Kickin' Babe, "the Quintessential Diva" Trish Stratus, never to be seen in the WWE again until the fateful day in the future when she misses it too much…

As soon as that was over, we saw a setup of the Cutting Edge show in the middle of an otherwise empty room with blue curtains. The more notable theme song of Edge & Christian was on in the background as Edge was sitting down on one of the two couches set up there, with Todd Grisham on the other.

"Well, I am currently sitting here on the makeshift set of "the Cutting Edge", with the Rated R Superstar! The WWE Heavyweight Champion, the pride of Vincent Kennedy McMahon's false religion, Edge," Todd began, not holding back his views.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a minute Toad," Edge chastised him immediately. "First of all, McMahonism is not a false religion. It is a wrestling religion. There's a difference. And there's a reason that I stand with Vince McMahon when he says he's the lord, master, and god of sports entertainment. And that reason is because it's true, as well as because of the fact that he realizes I am the best star in sports entertainment today. That's why I was trusted with the WWE Championship. Now, what you just saw out there with Trish Stra…"

"Excuse me for one second, there, Todd Grisham. But I was just called in by the leader of McMahonism, Mr. McMahon, and he told me that he didn't want a geek like you interviewing our Rated R Superstar, our WWE Heavyweight Champion, Toronto's own Edge. Instead, he's trusting those duties to the one and only backstage commentary playa of the WWE, yours truly, Jonathan Coachman, the Coach," Coachman explained in his usual braggish manner, walking in suddenly and cutting off the whole scene. Grisham made no protest at this, apparently not caring too much for an interview with Edge, and just left Coach to take the seat.

"Well, Edge, I'm gonna skip the introduction since Todd Grisham already gave you one, however disrespectful and overly farfetched it may be," Coachman stated.

"Finally, an interviewer who knows how to give the right people their due respect. Thank you, Coach, for getting rid of that Toad. I thought I wasn't gonna get a better interviewer here than I got on Cold Pizza," Edge explained, somewhat irritated about what he was speaking of. "Now, before you ask me questions related to my match later tonight as I team with Mickie James to defend both our titles against Stacy Keibler and of course Christian, I wanna talk about Trish Stratus. See, Coach, I want to explain something to you. To everybody who's listening. What you just heard, the way the fans were chanting and cheering on for Trish Stratus during that whole scene with the exception of when she looked like she was about to turn on the art of having a good time moment, is exactly the way this main event is gonna be for both me and Christian. Both of us at least think we're the best in the business. He thinks he is, I know I am. We both revolutionized this industry and like Trish Stratus helped make the city of Toronto famous in professional wrestling. All three of us coming back home tonight are hot and accomplished Toronto blondes. These people are going to love every second of this. For once in the history of McMahonism, there will be cheers for the team representing the side of the man who has gone on record to claim his godliness in this industry, all because of me. And at the same time, there will also be cheers on the other side, because my top opponent isn't that fluke artist rapper John Cena, or that guy Jeff Hardy, who I thought died three years ago, but is instead… Christian. Edge vs. Christian in Toronto, Canada, for the WWE Championship. There's another match in the middle of this, but you couldn't ask for a better situation nonetheless to settle who's the best once and for all. As for Trish Stratus, she has done a whole lot for this business. She is a pure legend. And if you discount my lovely lady Lita, which for once I'm gonna actually try to imagine here, then that makes Trish the only reason why women's wrestling is back on the map. In fact, the fact that she beat Lita tonight happens to be my only gripe with Trish, seeing as how she's no longer in DX as of three minutes ago."

"I agree. And I commend you for the honesty you show in giving Trish Stratus her last respects before she leaves. Even though I'd rather you not talk about your score with the ladies in front of the Coach, who knows scoring with the ladies like no other!" Coach opportunistically bragged about himself

"I'm sure you do," Edge kindly commented.

"Now, Edge, I know you requested this interview for a very good reason, and you've got a lot of things to say on your mind about this," Coach continued. "Before I came here and got rid of the Grish, who in reality isn't as cool as the Coach, (Edge: "Agreed.") CM Punk and his girlfriend Maria were telling me about an analogy you made between yourself and a character in the MTV reality television series _The Real World_ that apparently has to do with your career and how you got to this match. I know this is gonna be entertaining, so Edgemeister, you may now speak up."

"See what I mean? An announcer who can actually show respect to me. And I'm damn proud to have you sitting here, Jonathan," Edge acknowldeged the Coach, who gave his thanks for that statement, before Edge continued. "And now for my entertaining Edge Rated R-my Comparison of the Night. See, I can still make new terms. I can take the E&C days and evolve them if I want."

"Yes, and it does indeed sound very impressive, Edge. Carry on," Coach commented.

"Thanks again, Coach. Anyway, back to the comparison statement," Edge went on. "And yes, I did tell this to CM Punk and Maria, as well as my lovely lady Lita, and this does give a good description of the past couple of years of my career, and thank goodness the _Real World_ castmate I'm taking here has absolutely nothing to do with that disgrace to both _Real World_ and Smackdown, the Miz. (insert cheers) See, I remember back in season 14. San Diego. The hometown of my former tag partner, that broken down sad little boy named Rey Mysterio. In early 2004. Christian and I watched _sparingly_ that season of _Real World_. And there was one person that always came to mind, that some helpless friend of ours, I can't remember his name, would always bring up every two or three weeks, whenever we watched. That punk redhead girl, Frankie. The one with a bunch of wigs. The one with the somewhat argumentative boyfriend with the same first name as Batista. The one who cuts herself! Yeah, her. See, my friend would always bring up how Frankie needs some joy in her life, and how Edge & Christian could easily reunite as a tag team and go over there in order to help lift her spirits. But… there was a problem with that. And I'm not talking about the separate and completely non-Real World goals Christian and I had - something the Miz might want to learn from me about."

"Agreed, Rated R. Now, before you continue, speaking of the Miz, let me ask you a question," Coach offered.

"Shoot," Edge permitted.

"On Smackdown, the nWo is actually considering taking in Mike Mizanin, the Miz, as a future house member. What are your thoughts on the Miz's future on Smackdown, and possibly, with the nWo?" Coach asked.

"Personally, I say this: unless you're gonna use him as a court jester, someone to beat on and humble for all his ridiculousness, then Hulk Hogan, I am sitting here and telling you that picking the Miz to be a part of the nWo will be absolute organization suicide." Edge replied using honest words before turning back to his intended subject. "Now for the similarities between two memorable characters in the world. The two memorable characters: Frankie and Edge. See, Frankie is a punk rock kinda girl. With cystic fibrosis. She has an affinity for wigs and Hello Kitty attire. Naturally, with all these happy people, she felt out of place. Like an outsider who should be on the inside. As if she wasn't being treated like she belonged, like she wasn't getting the respect she deserved. Very similar to Edge. Edge, would be in moshpits 24/7 if it wasn't for his hugely successful wrestling career, but couldn't be caught dead listening to an entire hip hop CD, including - no, _especially_ - John Cena's. And back in mid-to-late 2004, Edge felt out of place. Like an outsider who should be on the inside. As if he wasn't being treated like he belonged, like he wasn't getting the respect he deserved. But then, there's a problem. Frankie, whenever she was feeling such pain, would resort to lashing out at people, crying, cutting herself. And eventually, she just left the house. She quit the show. Quit! Quit the house! Like JBL quit to that poser thug John Cena at Judgment Day 2005! But when Edge had those feelings, what did he resort to? Vocally making his statements known, doing whatever necessary, stepping up his game, fueling his emotions into his promos and matches, every time he took the mic, every time he stepped into the ring to wrestle! The result of each? With the exception of a reunion and the usual "shit they should've shown" episodes, Frankie was never heard from on TV again. Meanwhile, Edge appears on TV every week as the top dog on Monday Night Raw, the WWE Heavyweight Champion! Unlike Frankie, who like a typical chumpstain probably no longer holds any kind of influence on even those two others that tried to be her friends, Edge has influence on even the World Wrestling Entertainment Chairman of the Board, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, because Edge is a loyal McMahonist who nonetheless takes crap from nobody and knows what's best for him. That is why Lita came to _me_ when she got tired of Kane and at the same time got bored about Matt Hardy not being there because of his wee little knee. Speaking of which, I have a perfect impersonation of the guy. (imitates Matt now) Oh, my knee is crushed! I'm V1! I can't stop crying! My girlfriend left me for a true main eventer and now I'm mad because I can't ever get action again! Woe is me! I suck! (stops imitation) We know that already, Matt! Why do you keep talking!? Some of these fans have lost respect for you just for that!" Coach was sent laughing.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, man, Edge, that was hilarious," Coach said, stifling through laughter. "But now that your very true and honest statement about Frankie Abernathy is done, is it okay if I ask about your match with Christian Cage? What exactly are the thoughts going through your mind as you prepared to face a man you once called your brother and your best friend in the middle of both of your hometown for the most prestigious championship in sports entertainment?"

"Good question, Coach. What goes through my mind when I think about facing Christian for my WWE title right here in Toronto, Canada?" Edge repeated the question before giving out his answer. "Easy. Nothing. Except the fact that right here, back home in Toronto, Canada, I'm in a situation I haven't seen since I started standing up for myself and caring about me. That these fans are true Edgeheads and that they will stand behind me as I do what's right for _me_ instead of what looks all saving-face and heroic, and I come out there in the middle of that ring and I fight like a man, and I beat the little brother of my childhood and tag team days, Christian, to keep this WWE Championship. In fact, before I finish, as a little shout out to my good buddy CM Punk that I am much, much better than John Cena, i think I prepared a rap for a certain friend of mine." He then takes out a sheet of paper from inside his tights and unfolds it, before going on to read from it.

"Tonight, Mickie and Edge reek of awesomeness While Stacy and Christian Cage fail the stinktatude test. See, we're both gonna come out in front of hometown fans, But me and the "psycho" are better than you and the queen of no cans.

"If you think you'll beat me just because you're a captain, Trust me, Mr. Charisma: it's not gonna happen. At the end of the day, you and Stacy'll be left with cramps, While Lady Mickie and the Edge are still the champs. Oh, and uh… Cena: word life."

With arena cheers behind him in the background, he crumpled up the paper, tossed it into a trash can next to his very comfortable seat, and continued,

"Captain Charisma, you might have the fans behind you as your Peeps as well, and they may have cheered for you when you beat me down with that chair about five years ago and ended our tag team alliance to go on your own and be a damn CLB. But tonight, I get payback and finish this little "family feud" on top, still with my WWE Heavyweight Title! I will prove that I, being the Artist and the King of Awesomeness, the Rated R Superstar, am the one among us that truly is the MTV - most totally victorious - superstar on the planet, and you are nothing but a chumpstain, an inferior fluke troop compared to me! And that the superstar wrestler who came out of the Edge & Christian Awesomeness Dynasty to become the single best performer in this business is still on the active roster of the WWE, has not cut his hair to a new short style, and does not go out each and every single night screaming "that's how I roll" like we never heard you the first time like a true piece of crap. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go meet my friends, such as, um… CM Punk. Maria. Shelton Benjamin. Shane McMahon. My tag team partner tonight, the Women's Champion Mickie James. And my lovely lady, the incredible Lita. So now that I've cleared that up, I have got to get out of here so that I can prepare to kick Christian's ass. Again, Coach, thanks for giving me the time and respect that I deserve."

"You're very welcome, Edge," Coach replied in kind, as both men shook hands with each other. "Good luck out there, and take care of yourself."

"Same goes for you, Coach. Enjoy the show. And do tell Mr. McMahon I told you to put in a good word for ya," Edge commended the Coach.

"Sure thing. I'll see you around, still with the real WWE championship on your person," Coach said confidently as the two.

"Alright, stay awesome," Edge said.

"You too," Coach replied as the two walked away from the set and split up. Edge, however, turned around and came back to the camera, raised the title up beside his head, patted it with the other hand, and mouthed off the words "I'm the champ, mom!", since his mother was in the audience tonight.

a/n: I have absolutely nothing to say except for the fact that because of the Trish goodbye thing, and the whole Edge & Christian business, I dead set seriously care about making this one look good. Despite the fact that school's kept me a little late on these chapters, I still intend to make this stuff reek of awesomeness instead of just rushing it. I'm not gonna dumb down the material on this one just to make it go by fast, especially since this isn't a class assignment.

-P. Dizzle tha Grand Champion, signing off.


	17. Unforgiven Part 2, Final Homecoming

**_Corruption, Deception, Insurrexion_** by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: Except for a few references to a little inspiration from "Between Friends" by start-a-revolution, this story is completely fictional and original.

Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the "materials", including CM Punk, and McMahonism. Everything unfortunately belongs to Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Oh… except for Christian. He's owned by Dixie Carter and Jeff Jarrett.

Rating: T

Summary: The end of John Cena's friendship with his secret crush at the hands of her boyfriend becomes the catalyst to a war which shall shake the foundation right off of Raw. A story of love, betrayal, wrestling, corruption, redemption, and……… _McMahonism!?!?!?_

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a/n: Sorry for the long time between updates again, I think I got stuck with nervousness on how I'm gonna do this main event stuff… not to mention school and my personal life got way in the way again.

EDIT: I feel kinda stupid about having thrust Edge's Rob Zombie entrance theme onto CM Punk (and then "Blood Brother" after it anywhere after Summerslam), so I changed it to "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, the song he uses in ECW anyway. Oh, and there's no point in having had CM Punk go blonde again at first so I'm removing that. So he's had his black hair look and his real-WWE ECW theme the whole time now according to changed facts.

**Chapter 17: Unforgiven Part 2, Final Homecoming**

Date & Show: September 17, 2006, WWE Unforgiven 2006

Following the Cutting Edge interview with the Rated R WWE Champion, Carlito and Chris Masters' rivalry once again revived in the form of a one-on-one match. Masters took moderate control with power moves at certain intervals, but Carlito was able to get in the majority of the offense, as well as look impressive with a few aerial hits on the Masterpiece. However, Masters was able to avoid the Backcracker by turning around and elbowing the leaping Carlito as soon as he felt something touch him, after which he irishwhipped Carlito right into the corner where the referee was. Carlito was able to avoid his charging clothesline, but the ref wasn't, and he was basically knocked out from there. Carlito hit the Backcracker, but the Smackdown nWo's Randy Orton came out of the crowd and gave Carlito the RKO! After this, he retreated to the audience, and Masters was able to crawl on for the cover as a new referee came out to the ring and made the count, causing the Masterpiece to defeat Carlito to a raucous reception of boos.

After this match, Shawn Michaels and Triple H, the first and last remnants of DX, were sitting inside their locker room. Trips was getting himself set for action, as his upcoming big time hardcore match with Mick Foley was coming up in only the next few minutes. Meanwhile, Shawn Michaels was looking on in quite the somber mood, actually, already feeling the effects of a severe reduction in the numbers of the unit.

"Alright, so you know what to do, right? If Edge or any of those pea-brains decides to get in my way, they're gonna get a severe case of Sweet Chin Music," Trips clarified for his friend in somewhat of a harsh voice. "You understand that part of the whole picture, right?"

"Yeah, I gotcha," Shawn said in a somewhat low voice, which caught Triple H's attention. He stopped taping his wrist up temporarily, but then stood up and kept on. Once he was done, he put a hand on the Heartbreak Kid's shoulder.

"Hey, Shawn. What's wrong, man?" Trips asked in concern over his friend.

"It's… oh, no no no, it's okay. It's nothing. Nothing to worry about. You just go out there and kick some ass," Michaels said, though his voice and facial expressions were saying the exact opposite.

"Oh come on. You don't think I noticed you haven't been your jovial usual self since Trish was gone? That's why I've been trying to give you orders the past five minutes. So that you could storm at me and tell me the problem, man," the Game said, putting an arm around his old pal. "Come on. What's the matter?"

"I don't know, Hunter. It's just that… well, with Rob and Trish gone, it's… it's just us again," Shawn lamented.

"And that's wrong because…?" Triple H asked, genuinely confused.

"Look who we had on our side, man. Look who we had with us! Rob Van Dam and Trish Stratus, two of the most respected beings in the recent history of this business! And now, they're both gone! Out of DX forever! Now we're ripe for the pickin', for McMahonism to murderize us anytime they want!" Michaels complained, shaking Trips by the shoulders as he did so.

"It's been just the two of us before, Shawn. We may or may not pick up new members, but we've dealt with it before. Why not now?" Trips asked in all seriousness.

"Because it hasn't! If you're talking about back then, we've always had Chyna!" Michaels mentioned.

"Oh come on. Why'd you have to bring that up?" Trips questioned.

"It's just that… it seems DX is splitting up left and right today, and you got a match against Mick Foley. He may be a McMahonist, Hunter, but he's the most hardcore guy in the entire locker room!" Shawn pointed out in panic. "There's a severe problem! He's come out to the ring with, and used, everything from steel chairs, barbed wires, sock puppets, 2 by 4s, hell as mad as he is, he'll even use a staple gun! Oh, and speaking of… oh my god. What if the guy actually comes out with… (gulp) a gun?"

"What if he comes out with a gun?" Trips repeated. "Well, everybody knows Foley's not exactly the sharpest shooter on the block. His hand'll shake continuously, and I'll make him check his Pedigree before he can even touch the trigger."

:"Oh, yeah, that's true," Shawn conceded. "In the meantime, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Just thinking about DX and what we're gonna do for the future."

"Oh come on.You can't really be thinking about disbanding DX, can you?" Trips asked in concern.

"Disbanding DX? Are you outta your mind!?" Michaels shot half-facetiously. "I'm gonna go to Bischoff's office right about now, and see if he knows the number of an old pal of mine, who I hope to be able to say that I can introduce the guy as a new member of DX."

"Who do you have in mind?" Trips asked.

"If this guy joins the ship, I guarantee this will be the biggest moment in the history of D-Generation X since the formation of D-Generation X," Shawn promised. "Now, get outta here and kick the harbor man's ass!"

"I'll do it. Because if anyone's not down with that, we've got two words for them: suck it," Trips said, before high-fiving his partner and walking out. Michaels followed suit after a few seconds, though not for the same destination as the Game.

The sound of a car wreck came on, followed by the entrance theme of Mick Foley, who came out to a mixed reception, walking with the same hunch in his step, the same raised arm, and the same facing the fans, except this time, there was a viciousness to the expression on his face that hadn't been there in a while. Once down the ramp, Foley rolled into the ring, then got on a turnbuckle and raised his arm up in the air, proclaiming that he was going to kick Triple H's ass from one side of this arena to the next. After this, he came down from the turnbuckle, came to the center of the ring, and did the "bang bang" taunt, before the music stopped, and within seconds, Drowning Pool's cover version of "The Game" blared all over the loudspeakers at Toronto, Canada, followed by that multicolor lighting trademark to Triple H, as well as a raucous reception from the fans in Toronto! After ten seconds, Trips came out with the water bottle in hand. He then sprinkled some of the water on his head, then tipped his head up to drink a little, following which he did the DX chop with the water bottle in hand, starting up an X firework spark. After this, he walked down the ramp in usual manner, following which he went to the right side and hit his usual spot at the apron. He then drank from the water, threw the bottle away, got on the apron, and spat the water out as usual. He then came into the ring, got on the turnbuckle, and raised his arms up in his usual kingly fashion, following which he did a couple of DX chops, setting off fireworks at the turnbuckle right next to Foley!

After Trips came down from the turnbuckle, a by now enraged Mick Foley immediately went in after the man for a right hand. However, Mick was blocked by Hunter, who hit several right of his own, then irishwhipped the Hardcore Legend and greeted his return with a drop toe hold. He then allowed Foley to get up, following which he hit him with a hard clothesline. Foley got up from the clothesline, after which Triple H decided to take his head and throw him over the top to the outside! Trips took the opportunity in the ring to pose with a few DX chops to the glee of this crowd, following which he finally attacked himself. An enraged Foley came into the ring and struck Triple H with a falling clothesline as soon as the Cerebral Assassin turned around, following which Foley came down to a mount position on Trips and began mixing up a combination of punching Trips in the face and pounding the man's head into the ground. The ref could do nothing about it this time, since this was a hardcore match, so Foley continued until he got tired of it after what would've been two five-counts. Foley got up, and picked up the Game, following which he rammed him head first into the top turnbuckle, then turned him around and attacked him with an angry flurry of punches. Once he finally got Trips down to a seat position, Foley went in after Trips with a knee strike to the head, which connected. Foley then came down to the outside, dragged Triple H down with him, and hot shotted him so that his jaw hit the guardrail. After this, Foley went to ram Triple H headfirst into the railing, but then turned around and rammed Trips into the apron. Foley seemed to be on a focused rage tonight, and while he rolled the King of Kings into the ring and looked for weapons underneath the ring, Jim Ross commented that Lita had done the same thing, as far as getting in early offense on Trish Stratus earlier tonight. Foley came into the ring with a trash can lid in hand as Trips started to get up. Once he was sufficiently up to a vertical base, Triple H found Foley coming at him and swinging the lid at his head. He countered it by ducking his head to lift Foley into the Double A spinebuster!

Triple H and Foley took a little while to get back up, but it wasn't as long as if this were at a critical point in the match. Triple H hit Mick with several right hands, following which he tried to irishwhip him. However, Foley countered it. But when Triple H came to him and he put his head down to get in a back body drop, the Game saw it coming and hit him with that trademark facebreaker knee smash! Foley was knocked down, and Trips took a little bit of time to relax after that move had gotten done to him. After this small period of time to take a break, which was ended when Foley got up, Trips came towards Mick and hooked him in for what was apparently a vertical suplex. However, Foley resisted, by punching Triple H straigbht in the gut. Mick hit a side suplex slam on Trips right after while he was doubled over, then picked up the trash can lid and stalked away at Triple H, ready to destroy him with it. Foley didn't even wait for the Sledgehammer Villain to get up before whacking him in the back of the head with the lid several times! After this, Foley took Triple H and covered him. This being a hardcore match, Triple H's leg being underneath the ropes didn't exactly matter at all, so he had to kick out after two. After this, Foley picked up Triple H, then irishwhipped him, greeting his return with a stiff right hand taking down the Cerebral Assassin. Mrs. Foley's Baby Boy then came down on Trips with a couple of elbow drops to the sternum, after which he reached into his pocket and took out his prized sock puppet, Mr. Socko. After wearing Socko over his right hand, Foley now began to signal for the Mandible Claw, already expecting Triple H to be down enough for that to work. Once on his feet, Trips was stopped by Foley via the left arm. Mick tried to thrust his sockpuppet hand into the mouth of Triple H, but knowing Mick all too well, Trips managed to sidestep, run off the ropes behind Foley, and as the male apostle of McMahonism turned around, HHH gave him a clothesline. Mick got up, received a right hand, then was irishwhipped by Triple H, who greeted his return with… a kicking low blow! After this, he did the uncrossed version of the crotch chop, then took the doubled-over Foley into the ring and underhooked his arms. Immediately knowing what was going to happen, Mick quickly got out of the underhook position, then hit a back body drop on Trips. Mick then picked up the Game, following which he tried to send him over the top by the head, only for the Game to reverse it so that Foley was hung by the throat on the second rope, in what would be typical 619 setup position. Trips then came down to the outside, reached under the ring, and took out his best friend, his patented signature weapon, the sledgehammer! With the hammer in hand, Trips slid into the ring, bounced off the ropes behind him, and went towards Foley with a hand over the sledgehammer, driving it into the back of the neck of Mick Foley! Foley came down from the position, and did not look very good. Trips covered Mick. 1… 2… no! Foley kicked out!

After this turn of events, Foley was picked up and set up by Triple H in the corner. Right when Triple H's assault of cold stiff right hands was starting to pick up in pace, Foley turned the momentum in his favor with a desperate pie-face-like slap to Trips! Mick then came out of the corner and gave Trips a spinebuster, following which he favored his neck for a while, then crawled towards Trips for the cover. 1… 2… kickout by the Game. Foley got halfway up, before he rolled down to the outside and set up a table that was laying there on the ground. He then got back on the apron, but by then, Trips was already on his feet, so he skipped the whole vertical base thing and just ran at Foley, shoving him right back down to the outside… through the table!

After some thirty seconds of rest for Triple H and recouperation for Mick Foley, each man began to get on his feet. Trips was first, though, so decided that he was going to make hardcore literally mean hardcore by taking the steel steps close to the ramp away from their usual spot and throwing them into the ring. After he did this, Foley got up and began to come after his opponent, but the Game already got into the ring and took one of the steps. However, Foley got him from behind before he could use it, then took the step himself and waited for Triple H to get up so that he could use it. Trips ducked when Foley went for the blast, then quickly took the other steel step, following which both men came at each other, and the steps ended up colliding, sending them hard into their own carriers' heads! Trips and Foley were both down at this point. Both opponents rolled to the opposite side, though only Foley went all the way to the outside. As Trips found and held onto his sledgehammer. Foley reached for something on the outside. It turned out to be… Barbie. Mick Foley's sweet and sacred barbed wire baseball bat.

Now that both men had their weapons in hand, they began to get up. Trips was only one second faster in getting up, but that was actually augmented by the fact that he had to slide into the ring, giving Helmsley all the time in the world to stalk away at him in order to go for the kill. As soon as Foley got up inside the ring, Trips came forward to hit him with the hammer, but when he lunged, Foley ducked it. He hit Trips in the midsection with the barbed wire bat, and as the Game was doubled over, Mick then hit him in the back and knocked him down. He actually had a small cut in the back that he was starting to bleed through at this point in time because of that very hit. Foley threw down the bat, rolled Trips over on his back, then covered him once more. 1… 2… no! The Game still managed to kick out!

Foley, beginning to get tired of this, went outside the ring, reached underneath, found another table, set it up against the guardrail, then slid into the ring and charged in after Triple H, following which the Game did manage to steal the momentum back for one moment by punching Foley in the gut, then in the head. However, when he backed up into the ropes and bounced off it, Trips' blood loss was actually taking a physical strain on him, beginning to tire out a little bit. Foley took complete advantage when Trips was right in front of him, clotheslining the Cerebral Assassin right then and there. Mick covered Trips again. 1… 2… it still wasn't over! While in very bad condition, the Game was too much of a competitor, and he wasn't about to give in, which automatically frustrated Foley. Mick, after letting out an enraged scream, dragged Triple H closer to the apron, then stepped out of the ring and took Trips out with him. After Foley connected with a right hand, Trips swung dazed and actually managed to connect on the Hardcore Legend anyway. After several seconds, Foley finally got back on the Game, but Trips again actually connected with a tired wild right. Trips then suddenly fell to one knee, but quickly regained his bearings to trip Foley by the legs onto his back. After this Trips tried to get up, but as soon as he did, he found himself suddenly being brought forward and placed onto the table that Foley had set up, courtesy of none other than the very man whose undefeated streak was just finished a while ago, "the Samoan Bulldozer" Umaga!

Shawn Michaels immediately rushed down to the ring at that very point in time and went in after Umaga, knocking him back all the way into the guard railing, and Umaga actually went through the guardrail before getting up and becoming an instant victim of Sweet Chin Music! Umaga knocked out on the outside, Shawn turned towards the Barbed Wire Assailant Mick Foley and, as soon as Foley got up, did several DX chops in front of his face! Foley was mad as hell now, his face seething as he came over to Michaels. Shawn kicked him in the gut, got him in an inverted atomic drop, went to get a steel chair, then hit Foley right in the head with it, following which he helped Trips up and allowed him to take a little bit of a rest. Once the Game confirmed that he was alright - though not in perfect condition - Michaels helped his pal pick up the downed Hardcore Legend and place him onto the table, following which the two of them got into the ring. After exchanging a high five and doing the DX chop for the crowd, Trips stood there leaning on the ropes while Shawn ran off the ropes on the opposite side, then… but everything stopped as soon as they both saw Shelton Benjamin and Shane McMahon making their way to the ring. Shelton and Shane entered the ring and started a fistfight with DX, Shelton on Michaels, Shane on Trips. However, the Degenerates managed to take control of the situation until CM Punk arrived rushing into the ring and hit Triple H with a high jumping one-leg dropkick, knocking him down and allowing Punk and Shane to beat on him. John Cena, however, exploded onto the scene as well, taking down Punk with a furious tackle, followed by stiff right hands in a mount position. However, that's when security agents came out and tried to restrain Cena from doing further damage to Punk before their match, ripping the Doctor of Thuganomics away from the Straight Edge Revolver.

Meanwhile, after having gotten in a low kick on Shawn Michaels, Shelton Benjamin was in control of him in the corner, so he decided to trail off a little bit before charging in for a Stinger splash. However, it backfired, as Michaels escaped the corner, then as soon as Shelton turned around gave him Sweet Chin Music to listen to laying on the mat! Meanwhile, Shane McMahon picked up Triple H and tried to irishwhip him, but the Game was able to reverse it and get in a Double A spinebuster, though it did take awhile for him to get up after that. Punk immediately fled the area the first chance he got, trying to save himself for the competition against Cena that was actually next, while John was trying to no avail to fight through security and officials so that he could get some hits on the man who was relentlessly trying to get him fired just because of the girl of their dreams. With Shelton and Shane down, Michaels helped up Triple H, after which the Showstopper got on the top rope and leapt off to hit the Heartbreak Elbow on Shane McMahon and stayed down. Meanwhile, Edge came out and tried to help Mick Foley get away from the table, which he just got off. However, as he was trying to lead Foley up the ramp to get him away from this, Christian Cage suddenly came out with a bucket of a familiar crimson substance, except this time, there was no speculation that it was "blood" or "crimson wine", as Christian had the words "Edge's cheap sauce" spray-painted in red on it! Angry, the Rated R Superstar forgot about Foley and came towards the Peep Man, who simply dropped the bucket and let it spill some red "cheap sauce" on Edge's jeans, as well as trip him up! Edge got up, literally kicked the bucket off the stage, and quickly chased in after Cage, who led his old friend away with a clever smile on his face… as Tyson Tomko came out of the crowd and took Mick Foley by the head back into the match situation, and then back onto the table!

Walking back into the crowd coolly, Tomko, met with the greatest of cheers outside Trish, Edge, and Christian, left DX with the open floor right here. So, Michaels actually ran at Triple H, who gave him a big back body drop over the top rope and onto Mick Foley, through the table!! With a smile on his face, Triple H joined Michaels on top of Foley and asked the referee to make the count. He came down to the outside and did so, meaning it was official and degenerately final. 1… 2… 3!

"Here is your winner, Triple H!"

When Lilian Garcia made that announcement, Shawn and Triple H both picked themselves up after the longest time, then raised their arms up in the air in victory to the D-Generation X theme song, then put their arms around one another for support as they walked up the ramp. Once up onto the stage, the founders of DX turned around to face the ring area, where Mick Foley, Umaga, Shelton and Shane were laying helplessly, and choppinglly unleashed the X fireworks on the stage, sending the arena blasting before they walked to the back. Shane McMahon just began to get up, and he promised DX that this wasn't over. Same case for Umaga, who was sitting up and screaming at the top of his lungs in anger.

At this very point in time, we had a makeshift set of Captain Charisma's Peep Show, with Todd Grisham sitting alongside… well, nobody.

"Okay, I'm supposed to be sitting down here with the man of the Peeps himself, "Captain Charisma" Christian Cage, but… he's not here. What's up with that?" Grisham asked the fans, trying to take from Gregory Helms' former alter-ego. Then, the door suddenly opened and closed, then was locked, after which Christian appeared on the camera and got to his seat smirking. You could hear Edge shouting that Christian better look out, because when Edge sees him in the ring tonight, he's gonna beat the holy hell out of him.

"Hey Todd, what's up?" Christian asked, shaking hands with the man. "I just got through embarrassing Edge real bad. That bucket of "cheap sauce" we actually called blood during the Brood era? That wasn't even the only one there. I had another bucket backstage that I kicked behind me in front of Edge. You should've seen it. He was rolling around on the floor, literally taking a so-called "bloodbath" right there in front of everyone. Some champ. I made a joke out of him in front of common workers."

"For a moment there, I half-expected you to say common peasants," Todd noted.

"Speaking of which, I'd like to say something to a guy I know named King Booker T who's supposed to be Smackdown's very own personal King of the World," Christian spoke, his WWE entrance version of "Just Close Your Eyes" finally playing in the background. "You've got the title, Booker. You've got the crown, the robe, the scepter, yet the main talk about Smackdown is Ministry & everybody else vs. nWo. It's been the longest time since I've heard about King Booker's Court in headline discussions over there on the blue brand, it actually looks and feels pathetic. The group with the title is the one that's not even being talked about. Smackdown looks terrible right now, I'm telling ya. Not only that, I heard Edge said something about Miz being in the nWo? Damn that sucks. The guy's so much of a joke gimmick copycat version of me, he shouldn't even be wrestling. I know a guy who doesn't name his own imaginary fans, or imagine himself as the king of all you see, or even come out like me and boast his charismatic little self, yet he could probably kick the crap out of Jeff Jarrett even better than I can. And I'm sorry to be bringing up everybody in TNA in the middle of these WWE programs, but the fact still remains I'm active in both companies, so I can't help it. Vince McMahon wants me to shut up, I don't care. He can kiss my ass. I came back here because Eric Bischoff promised me a title opportunity, and a chance to _show_ Edge _and_ Vince McMahon just who calls the shots around here. And I came back here to become the first non-WWE wrestler to ever hold the WWE Championship. And speaking of Edge, I heard he said something about a Frankie Abernathy from the Real World, the girl that an old friend kept saying that Edge and I should go ahead and find her so we could try and cheer her up?"

"Yes, he did. He said that she was just like him, except she quit The Real World like you quit WWE," Jonathan Coachman suddenly arrived on the scene.

"Coach, what the crap are you doing here?" Christian asked, immediately standing up in objection to this. Coach, however, just ignored him and went straight to Grisham.

"Again! Todd Grisham, haven't I already told you that main event interviews do not belong to you tonight? Mr. McMahon has entrusted me, Jonathan Coachman, the Coach, with the duties to interview Edge!"

"That's Edge. This is Christian," Todd reminded Jonathan.

"Christian will prove tonight without a shadow of a doubt that he is an underscore in Edge's career. Therefore, he counts underneath Edge as well," Coachman stated cockily, completely disregarding the fact that he just soured the expression on Cage's face.

"Sorry to tell you this, Coach, but… I'm looking straight at Captain Charisma right now, and I don't think Christian wants to be interviewed by the opponent's personal yes man," Grisham said in defense of both himself and Cage.

"Get up and get out of this seat right now!" a flustered Coachman snapped at Grisham. "The main event interviewer here on Raw is ready to speak and to take his place!"

"Hey, Coach! Why don't you shut the hell up and show some respect both ways!? You speak so highly of Edge it's like you were hired to, yet the guy who's about to beat his ass for the WWE Heavyweight Championship right here tonight in the middle of the central home base of the Peepulation has to stand here and listen to you dress down fellow interviewers and put him down as an underscore, _a mere underscore,_ to Edge's career!" Christian jumped forward into stating, before turning to Todd. "Hey, Grish. You can go away now, I've got this guy."

"Y… you're sure about this?" Grisham asked.

"Yeah. I can't let an opportunity to put this guy back to earth go to waste. Go interview CM Punk or John Cena or something, their match is next," Christian noted to Todd, as the host of Byte This left the area. Coach and Christian took their seats.

"Well, now that he's over, you can now get to being interviewed by a real man, something you haven't been able to even say that you are in a long time," Coach stated.

"Jonathan Coachman, does it ever occur to you that every time you claim yourself a real man, all you do is remind me of each and every time the Rock used to completely humiliate you whenever you tried to interview him?" Christian asked, perplexing the Coach. "No, I'm serious. Your every word right now brings to mind all those times when he told you to bend over, you took it literally, and then he called you a sick donkey freak or something like that."

"You know, you're lucky that I have to…" Coach started to retort, but then Christian looked at him with yet another incredulous stare so he stopped himself immediately and took a deep breath. "Okay, in the spirit of trying to stay professional as a testament to myself, Christian, there's talk out there that perhaps an incident you recently had with a couple of your friends down south might become a bit of a problem as far as the chemistry between you and the Insurrexion is concerned, namely your tag team partner tonight, "the Empress of Legs" Stacy Keibler."

"Let me help you out here, Johnny C-bag," Christian cut in right there. "First of all, that C stands for "colostomy", because your "playa" act is so tired and old it might as well be in a colostomy bag. That goes for both you and that so-called "MVP" who isn't even as valuable on the WWE's current roster than Bret Hart, and I think he stopped being a WWE Superstar some nine years ago. Sorry if I upset your pride there, Coachy, but that's the truth. Anyway, back to business. Have you not seen what's been going on tonight? Everything you've seen from me tonight should point to the exact opposite of what you think you're saying. See, my two friends down south haven't exactly been talking to me, but nor have they been threatening to beat the crap out of me next when I go back there, as far as I know. One lapse in behavior on one night is gonna be my entire heel turn? I don't think so, pal. You must not know Christian Cage. Why don't you talk to me about… about that sendoff I gave to Trish Stratus, the greatest woman wrestler of all time, despite any and all of Edge's attempts to place his personal rebellion whore in the same light? Why don't you talk to me about the bet with John Cena, which I clearly have proven to win? I've got both Amy Lee and Stacy Keibler, and until that sendoff, Trish Stratus, practically eating out of the palm of my hand. All Cena ever said was that I've gotta get one of the ladies to, um… "buy my game", I think he said it as."

"So this whole thing, being friends with the Divas in the Insurrexion was just a game to you?"

"It's not just the ladies. The entire Insurrexion is good with me. The bet was a little lighthearted, but John can't help but remind me of it at least half of every chance he gets," he explained. "It gets annoying that I have to think about that stuff, especially since it reminds me of having to tease through this "Canadian dollar bet" to get Jericho to talk to Trish. That was pretty stupid. In fact, I don't know what was dumber. That, or Lita cheating on a real man like Matt Hardy with a dorkchop like Edge."

"Whoa, whoa, now, hold on a second. You can't be telling me that Matt Hardy is-"

"A real man? Like me? Like what you think of guys like yourself and Edge are? Yes, I can be telling you that," Christian stated. "See, the fact is like this: Matt Hardy and I have in common that we both want to earn our way to be the best in the business, that we both know how to treat a girl with love and respect, that we both gain relationships and championships by honest measures rather than having to steal them from people like that R-rated reject I used to call a best friend. I understand why he did it now, since he explained it to me shortly after I called him about it, but I still can't help but think that the way Edge stole Lita from Matt Hardy and made her his personal whore is just wrong on a thousand levels. And I know you wanna stick up for Edge and demand that everybody drop it already, but as long as Edge keeps burying Matt Hardy underwater and kissing Lita in front of everybody, then nobody's ever gonna forget because he's not lettin' us. If I recall correctly, not only did everybody love the both of them before this stuff happened, but I believe CM Punk was right about something. Everybody thought that Edge and Lita would look cute together. In fact, they were floating when they saw Lita smiling as Edge beat Kane to keep the Intercontinental Championship back on August 15th in 2004. Hell, I looked on the Internet, and pretty much all before the affair, Edge and Lita used to be a fanfiction fad, something that all the fangirls in the world wanted to see. But the way they did it, everybody just got sick. And now that they've become an old tired act to everybody, the fangirl fantasy corner has decided to flood itself with a new Lita fad. Now they dream about Lita making out with Randy Orton. First of all, he's got Brooke, the living pop singer girl representation of the nWo, following him everywhere he goes. I'm not even gonna call them boyfriend and girlfriend, she's only 18, it's pathetic. Plus, let's take a look at it. How are alot of these ladies open and proud that they spend their days and nights fantasizing about a relationship between a pretty boy and a punk ho? Not to diss any of them, especially if they are among my peeps, but I'll never understand that if my life depended on it."

"The pretty boy happens to be the youngest world champion in WWE history, though, Christian. While you've never been a world champion in WWE history," Coach pointed out brashly.

"Do I need to be the youngest world champ in WWE history? Do I even need to _be_ a world champion in WWE history? No. I've already got a world title in my career, and other than the fact that I have to show that I am superior to all of McMahonism, especially including Edge, that's good enough for me," Christian retorted quickly. "And why are you supporting Smackdown? Aren't you proud of this show, which is supposed to be the flagship program in sports entertainment? Cause from the sounds of it, you're putting the Smackdown pretty boy over the challenger in the most hyped main event in Raw brand PPV history. (sees Coach opening his mouth) Yeah, yeah, I know, but the challenger isn't even a WWE wrestler, right? You can just shut up right there, Coachy, I chose to quit WWE when my contract ran out, just like I chose to come back to fight that stupid fake religion that you apparently believe in. Now, if I recall correctly about Randy Orton, didn't that guy get everything he ever got in this business other than notoriety for the wrong reasons and a ton of asskickings for bein' way too cocky his own good, didn't he get everything he got other than that stuff from Triple H, and Ric Flair, and Evolution, and Batista? Cause… cause as far as where each ex-member of Evolution has gotten since those days, I gotta be convinced that Big Dave was right when he came down to Orton and shouted the words "you are nothing without us". I mean, smoking marijuana at WrestleMania when he's about to face Mysterio and Kurt Angle for the World Heavyweight Title? Let's recant everything that happened to him since then because of that: Rey Mysterio pinned him at WrestleMania in nine minutes, and then in a short one-on-one rematch to become and remain the champ, and then Kurt Angle, upset that Randy lost him the title by taking the fall, broke his ankle. After that, he went up in smoke until Hulk Hogan showed up on there, and Randy came out with the same old Legend Killer crap, and now he's with Brooke, and once again riding on the coattails and ruining the legacy of a great faction, the nWo. Now, seeing as how Edge's girl Lita has been replaced as "Lita, Queen of Extreme" by a character from a French animated cartoon, and nobody can replace this right here as the most charismatic star in this industry, I guess that's one more level I'm greater than Lita on, so maybe she and Randy Orton do work. But, um… pop culture's next big item? If Lita does hook up with RKO, they'd be pop culture's next big joke."

"Okay, okay, that's enough!" Coach shouted immediately. "I'm not gonna stand here and listening to you dress down WWE in the middle of our own pay-per-view without cutting in!"

"I'm not dressing down WWE. I'm dressing down McMahonism. There's a difference," Christian replied calmly yet strongly.

"Whatever. Anyways, let's get onto a much more important question than your personal and obviously biased opinion on Randy Orton and Lita, two of the most storied superstars in the WWE since the beginning of each of their careers," Coach stated.

"Biased?" Christian repeated with a scoff. "Speak for yourself."

"What was that?" Coach demanded, trying to sound tough.

"You heard what I said, Coach. Stop pretending like you didn't," Christian told him off.

"The question, my friend," Coach immedately bellowed to change the subject, "is about a certain match that you're about to go into tonight at Unforgiven. The match itself. Stacy Keibler is your tag team partner, and the Women's Champion Mickie James is Edge's tag team partner, making this a "one title may change hands" tag team matchup, but the big story about this is the return home. The comeback to where it all started. The rearrival in Toronto of Edge, the WWE Heavyweight Champion, the man who has been carrying this business ever since he rescued Lita, still the real Queen of Extreme despite Christian says, from Matt Hardy, who can be recalled as the real self-obsessed whiny loser of the WWE, and who defended Lita against both Matt and Kane, the monster who ripped Matt and Lita apart on Raw in the first place, restoring order into the universe that is a rebellious redhead's life. And, of course, so as to keep with the tune of Edge's return home, his opponent is a man that also comes home, the man he carried-"

"Stop drinking Edge's kool-aid for one second and be objective in the way you talk! You make yourself sound more stupid than K-Fed is a poser!" Christian replied immediately, shutting up the Coach. "Yes, Edge is the WWE Champion. Yes, he has been part of what's made Vince McMahon look good over the past year and a half. Yes, he is the guy the stole Lita from that Matt Hardy-Kane situation, as well as defended her successfully through both of their quests for revenge, a task I thought nobody would be assheaded or capable enough to accomplish, but then again Edge never ceases to amaze me. Yes, he is coming back home and being cheered for the first time in a billion years. But then again, he's not the face of the match, because look who else is coming back home. His opponent tonight. The man he should be worried about. The absolute true face of Total Nonstop Action Wrestling. The most charismatic wrestler in history. The man who actually did most of the better talking during our dynasty, allowing Edge and me to be able to come off as charismatic and awesome both in and out of the ring so that we could continue to be great. Sure, he may have provided the Spear, but I provided all the awesomeness, and unlike what Adam Asshole seems to think, I worked harder than him. I was never given the opportunity to rise up in this industry. He was. Last time we faced off against each other in a tag match, I beat him and Hulk Hogan for the World Tag Team Titles. Or did you forget why they're even on Raw in the first place? In any case, the feeling is just gonna be electric. For the first time ever, I can actually honestly stand here and tell you, that if these people are gonna be booing, it'll be because of the women. Both Stacy and Mickie James are actually the only ones capable of facing boos, because this is two of the biggest stars in this business, both on their own and as a tag team together, going against each other in the middle of their own hometown to prove who is the best not just among the two old friends, but among every single wrestler in this industry today. It's time for me to claim the position and become #1, because that's… (fans sing "how I roll!") where I'm destined to mark my spot. Now lemme get out of here, you just ruined this Peep Show. Not just for me, but all of my peeps sitting down in those stands. I'll see everybody when it's time to hit the ring."

Finally disgusted enough with Coachman, Christian Cage got up and walked away from the set, flicking the lights off and closing the door behind Coach as he left. From the outside, Christian smirked as he heard Jonathan whining and complaining about how Christian apparently thinks this is funny or even effective at all.

Meanwhile, CM Punk and Maria were sitting in one of the McMahonism locker rooms, as was a vocally displeased Lita… and water running in the background.

"I can't believe this!" Lita shot in complaint. "You guys, can you believe it? I mean, the nerve of what Christian just did! The way he embarrassed Edge a few minutes ago with that blood thing, and he… wh-what he did to Edge and… when Edge came in here, it actually scared me! I mean-"

"LITA!" Punk screamed at her as he grabbed her shoulders, finally shutting her up. "At least this isn't permanent. He's washing off all that red crap right now. But this is the kind of thing that details why I have to go out there and stomp John Cena in a couple of minutes. See, people like Triple H, and Christian Cage, and John Cena, think it's more important to crack jokes and play righteous gimmicks than it is to defend what means the most to you at any means necessary. Christian, that big quitter, thinks he can take WWE world title away from Edge just like that. Cena thinks he's got the right to tell me how to have my girlfriend when everybody knows he's just trying to get me to loosen up so that he can take her for himself."

"CM, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't think John Cena's really going to do that," Maria interjected. In the background, the water stopped running.

"Well, who do you think is? Edge?" CM turned towards Maria, fans cheering at the ironic statement.

"Hold on a second, Punk. I think Edge is done," Lita noted.

"Actually, no I'm not," Edge called from inside the bathroom, shut somewhere in the background. "I still got more of this cheap sauce junk to wash off me. But I think I kinda overheard you talking about John Cena, and I just wanted to prove a point. The point is, you gotta keep fighting this guy with everything you've got, and it's not just about the great girlfriend you've got that this whole thing is about."

"Okay, your R-ratedness, then what is it about?" Punk jested somewhat.

"Two things, CM," Edge answered. "One: keeping Maria away from that piece of crap Cena for all it's worth. Two: proving what you said in Germany, that they put you on that plane because you are a legend."

"What?" Punk asked.

"Yeah, I saw the vid online. It was hilarious. Better than any rant I've ever put up, that's for sure," Edge admitted. "Now go out there and destroy that thug wannabe so we can celebrate with some Pepsi after I finish kicking Christian for good!"

"For a moment, I thought you were gonna say some shots," Punk called in the direction of the bathroom. The bathroom door slightly opened, and Edge poked his head out.

"I would've, but then I remembered you're straight edge and sodas rule," Edge said. "Now let me get dressed so I can actually appear tonight in front of everybody and not force to apologize. Next thing you know, Vito and William Regal might actually make that happen at that Smackdown pay-per-view coming up, No Mercy."

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna go to the stage now," Punk said in a weirded out tone as he and Maria got up and walked out.

"Make sure you kick some ass out there, okay!?" Lita called out to them after they were already gone.

MEANWHILE, we had more important things to worry about, such as Todd Grisham standing by with Jeff Hardy and the Chain Gang leader John Cena.

"Now, in the hopes that I can do an interview and not get interrupted for once tonight, I'm standing by here with both Jeff Hardy and John Cena," Todd began. "Now, Jeff. Big scoop for you right here. You've officially been chosen as your brother Matt Hardy's tag team partner to defend the World Tag Team Championship tomorrow night on Raw against Shelton Benjamin and Mr. McMahon's son Shane. This will mark the first time the Hardy Boyz have teamed together since mid-2002, before Matt first went to Smackdown and started his movement of "Mattitude"."

"I'm impressed that you could remember that far back," Jeff cut in right there. "Anyways, I'm gonna try and keep this short and sleek because I know the big story with this interview is John Cena over here and his big match up next with CM Punk. So once again, Edge has gotta come up with some stupid plan to bury Matt underwater because he can't stand the fact that my brother just will not go away, and he will not die. So he injures Taka, in the hopes that Matt Hardy can't find a suitable partner to defend the titles against Shelton and Shane tomorrow. Well, Edge? The most suitable partner Matt Hardy has ever had is officially back with the WWE. The Imagi-Nation and the Mattitude community are ready to rise up together once again, and come Raw, Shelton Benjamin and Shane McMahon, we will show you just why the Hardy Boyz are 2 Xtreme."

"Hold your phones now, I know what Todd's gonna ask next. He's finally gonna get to the major point of tonight. Me vs. CM Punk in our submission match tonight," Cena began. "Well, it's about time I finally made a declaration about this whole thing that I know I'm gon' carry out on the exact same night I got the balls to say it! (insert cheers) See, apparently Mr. Drug-Free himself, "Straight Edge 24/7" CM Punk really thinks that I can't handle him in a submission match. Well, let me explain somethin' to you, CM Punk. The fact is, I overcame JBL in a "I Quit" match last year for the WWE Championship, which means I know how to make people admit defeat to me before they could ever dream of forcing me to admit defeat to them. But this is a deeper struggle. This ain't an "I Quit" match. This is a submission match. Which means the only way to lose is to get caught in the other guy's submission hold and to tap out. And this time, CM Punk is so paranoid about me takin' sweet Maria out from under his nose that he's decided to ignore all pleas from her to stop this shit and he's gon' go ahead and try to put me in a submission match that if I lose, I'm gon' be forced to put my job on the line in a ladder match, where he hopes to take the briefcase wit' my contract to Raw and do whatever he wants with it! If he beats me here, wins the ladder match, and decides to rip this contract up into pieces, I will not be there to stand in his way of turning Maria into a pure McMahonist all because of his hatred for me. But I, John Cena, I will not let that happen! I will not let Maria be changed into a bitch, and I will not let myself be fired and forced to go to Smackdown, ECW, TNA, Ring of Honor, or wherever the hell I'd have to go next! (insert cheers) I go away by proper draft procedure or when I want to go away, not when a punk gets jealous of his girl's bond with me!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, shut up right there, ego-head!" CM Punk suddenly shot, appearing with his girlfriend next to Cena, who turned around to look at them.

"Ego-head? What'chu talkin' about, Punk-ass!?" Cena sharply demanded. "The only ego-head around here is you!"

"No, it's you! You self-righteous bastard Cena! You really think you're doing any of this to save Maria from anything!?" CM Punk shouted. "Well, if you honestly tricked yourself into thinking that, I'm here to tell you the truth. Saving Maria has nothing to do with it! You're only here so that you can ogle my girlfriend and look at her and touch her and claim to be her best friend in the hopes that I make some big mistake and then you can be her rebound, huh!? Well, unlike what some people seem to think when they look at a straight-edge punk guy like me being with a beautiful brunette like her, I didn't kidnap or force or initiate her into anything! And I didn't date her to be accepted into some cult!"

"That's where you're wrong!" John cut him off. "See, in the very beginning, I'm pretty sure you'd be right, but because Vince and Shane had to dramatize me and Ria's deal to your face, you're scared! You're afraid! You're paranoid that she's gonna get distant from you and come over to me! So you did get accepted into some cult, you did get accepted into McMahonism, not because of your skills, but because of you and Ria's relationship! They know they can use you and Maria to break me apart so they can be free to play God with this company!"

"See, that right there's what I'm talking about! You're wishing our relationship would just be over, wouldn't you!? And don't come out with that crap about how it's-"

"Keep gettin' me twisted, CM! Keep gettin' me twisted! I don't want you to break up! I want you to come strong and not get all paranoid and not let Vince McMahon _use_ your relationship to play God wit' it!"

"I don't care what you think is going on, because you, you're nothing!" CM Punk exclaimed, before slapping Cena in the face. Rather than give him time to recover, Punk shoved him down, then stomped away on him as he got up, following which Punk took Cena by the head and rammed him into the wall. He then dragged him over to where the stands were and rammed him into the railing before beating him some more, except this time with an embarassing assault of forehand and backhand slaps. Cena then turned the tables, grabbing CM and turning him around into the same position, before giving him a hard knee to the gut, a European uppercut, and even a few right hands, before throwing him into the crowd. John was about to go in after him, until Maria stopped him and took his attention, advising him to get back into the ring so that this could actually be a match if it truly had to happen. He was torn now between listening to the incredible beauty that had been forcibly ripped away from him and going to tear the man responsible for it apart, shown clearly by a plea for her not to force him to have to decide what to do on the matter. However, soon, after looking into her eyes, he could see that this was what she wanted, and there was no getting around it. So John resigned himself to the fact and entered the ring, like a civil man, after which Maria got to help CM Punk get back across the rail. Once this occurred, he made an immediate dash towards the ring and slid in, following which he and Cena quickly and violently traded right hands, and the bell rang to make the match official.

Cena quickly started to get the better of the exchange, knocking CM Punk down and forcing him to slow the pace of the action by taking a small leave of absence from the ring, sliding out and walking around in order to bide his time and figure out what to do with the furious Cena. However, as he would find out courtesy of a double axe handle from the apron to the outside, the Thug Marine Soldier was not in the mood to wait! The attack knocked Punk into the guardrail, following which Cena immediately sent him rolling into the ring, then slid in and walked off after Punk, who was actually sitting there trying to call time out. Cena went right for it, and only ended up being baited into an immediate low blow from Straight Edge 24/7. This was a straight up submission match, no disqualification and no countout rules included; Vince McMahon wanted to make sure that only by making the opponent tap out or (in the rare case of Bret vs. Austin) pass out within a submission hold can one be declared the winner of the match. So Punk was saved by his lord's declarations once again. While Cena was favoring his genital area, Punk quickly took the opportunity to get up and go off the ropes to hit a quick running roundhouse kick to the side and back of Cena's head! Despite Maria's obvious heartache at seeing this (as indicated by her shivering and placing her hands at the center of her chest), Punk found himself proud of this heavily jeered motion, pointing down at Cena's head and smiling as the fans booed him at the top of their lungs. When he saw that the crowd wasn't in agreement with him, CM Punk then exited the ring and actually got into a shouting match with a particularly riotous fan in the front row about how he was straight edge and better than the heckler, who then flipped him the bird and actually slapped him in the face! This fan, wearing a Rey Mysterio mask and a Version One Era of Mattitude T-shirt, was forced into the ringside area, then into the ring, by CM Punk, who then put him in the ring and tried to get him in the Ura-nage slam to set up the Anaconda Vice. Cena was down and hurt thanks to that roundhouse, so Punk had every opportunity to do as he wished for the time being. However, the person was actually able to counter it into their own Ura-nage setup, which actually turned out to be that for the Side Effect! The person took off the Mysterio mask and revealed that it was… Matt Hardy! The Sensei of Mattitude had gotten past the arena ban and was now in the ring!

However, his fun was instantly cut short, as Edge and Shane McMahon came out with a huge horde of security officers, one of which looked a little bit like the late Raymond "Big Boss Man" Traylor. Shane, Edge, and the security surrounded the ring unbeknownst to Matt, who watched CM Punk get up, staggered him into the corner with rights and lefts, then irishwhipped him into the opposite corner. However, the WWE Champion slid into the ring at that opportune moment and, as Matt ran over to the corner to try to clothesline Punk, caught the Hardy Boy and instantly stopped him in his tracks with a Spear! Shane then entered the ring and got in a few stomps, following which the evil smiling Edge and smug Shane-O-Mac threw him out of the ring, leaving the guards feww to arrest Matt Hardy for his actions. The people actually cheering this action because their own Edge led to it. In fact, Edge and Shane started to look at Cena, apparently pondering about the idea of beating him up, until the arena went raucous with the sighting of the Heartbreak Kid and the Game running into the ring and chasing Edge and Shane off. The Rated R Superstar and Mr. McMahon's only begotten son left through the crowd and received adulation for the fact, after which DX retreated to the back through the curtains, allowing the match to get on with itself.

CM Punk got out of the corner as Cena started to stir while still favoring his head. So, Punk picked up Cena and gave him a snapmare, followed by a quick lower dropkick to the back of the head. Punk then got up and began to stomp on Cena a little bit, the stomps at first being on the gut before Punk decided to focus on Cena's head with them, following which he got Cena in a headlock. After a few seconds, though, the crowd started to get behind Cena a little bit, following which he was able to not only pick both himself and his opponent up, but slide underneath out of the hold and get Punk in a hammerlock. Punk, though, instantly went for an elbow to Cena's head behind him with his free arm, but Cena ducked it, released the hammer lock, but threw Punk over his head using the back of his body for a back body drop on the Punker. Cena then found CM Punk, but instead of giving him a clothesline, he leapt on top of him in a Thezs Press following which he hit Punk several times in the head in mount position. Once he finally got tired of this, he got up, picked up CM Punk, and dragged him by the head all the way to the side with the announcer's tables and threw him through the ropes to the outside. Cena then went in after CM, picked him up, then slammed his head in front of a table right in front of Maria. He then took Punk by the head and dragged him around the ring towards the steel steps, but Punk slid underneath out of that predicament and then gave Cena a dropkick which sent him staggering down forward on his knees, a process which saw him crash headfirst into the steel steps! Punk got up after the dropkick, following which Maria turned him around and asked him to stop.

"What are you doing, Maria? I can't stop now. We're in the middle of this match here," CM reasoned with her.

"I need to see if he's bleeding by the head from that hit with the steps. I don't want to literally see his brain out here," Maria pleaded in reply.

"I'm sure there's not gonna be an open brain laceration from just that one hit with the steps," Punk explained tiredly, turning around and starting towards Cena. However, she turned him around again, and this time, there was a serious look on the young face of the Bodacious Brunette.

"I'm telling you that if he's bleeding now you have to stop this before you do open his brain! And unless you let me check, I'm breaking up with you!" she then proclaimed. That shocking statement immediately froze Punk into submission (though not the kind that would win Cena the match), as well as rendered the announcers momentarily speechless for once. As Maria crouched and checked on Cena, she saw that he was alright. Following that and John's telling her to step back away from the whole thing, she got up and turned to Punk, asking him if that was so difficult for him to do. He then scratched his head at the insanity of this last part of the situation, following which something about it made him mad. He then let out a momentary scream, then angrily picked up Cena and sent him rolling into the ring, following which he went on the apron, then climbed the turnbuckle, following which he hit the downed Cena with a split-legged moonsault! After that moonsault, Punk got on his knees and started punching the downed Cena in the head. Once he was tired of punching Cena, CM Punk got back up, and leapt high dropping his knee into Cena's head. Punk then picked up the Franchise, then wrenched his arm, following which he climbed up the turnbuckles and walked the ropes carefully, then leapt up in a certain leg drop takedown which has recently become referred to in some circles as the School of Punk (in reference to the Undertaker's Old School). After this, CM Punk rolled down to the outside and landed on his knees, though it didn't take too much effort to pick himself up. Maria was standing there watching everything intently, even despite the nature of the situation threatening to tear away at her at any moment's notice. Punk got up onto the apron, then hit a slingshot senton on Cena, straight in the head, before he then applied a sleeper hold to the Doctor of Thuganomics. The fans then started to get behind Cena again, the chants and cheers for the Doctor of Thuganomics being indicative of that fact. That, along with the reminder inside his head that he wasn't about to let himself be put in a position to get fired again so that Mr. McMahon could fully take over the beautiful Maria or Monday Night Raw, was enough for the man to begin to stir and start to lift himself upwards. However, Punk immediately jerked back in order to pull Cena right back down fully into the hold. Soon, the Doctor of Thuganomics started to turn colors, eventually showing signs of perhaps fading away. The referee raised Cena's hand and let it fall down once, then a second time, and then a third time, except Cena was able to stop his hand from falling, following which he struggled to get himself and CM Punk up in order to get out of the move. Once the two were up to their vertical base, Cena elbowed Punk several times, causing the former OVW and ROH World Heavyweight Champion to let go, following which Cena ran off the ropes, only to get cut off with a double forearm takedown by CM Punk.

Punk then went down on one knee and started to continuously punch the downed Cena in the face. There was no DQ count since this match can have no DQ, but Punk was stopped by something; the intensity of the fans' mixed cheers and boos giving him the good opportunity to pose and rub in his superiority to them. He relished in that opportunity just fine, stayed on one knee and raising his arms halfway up while throwing up the metal sign and a smiling brashly. After this, he got up and gave Cena a snapmare, following which ran off the ropes past Cena and came back to hit him with a lower dropkick to his face. Once he knocked down Cena, he then went to choke him for a few seconds, screaming at John to stay away from his girlfriend as he did so. Cena swung upwards towards Punk's head, but right as he let go and rose up out of reach. Punk then picked up Cena, and irishwhipped him, only to find the Doctor of Thuganomics stop himself by hanging onto the ropes instead of bouncing off. In response, CM Punk hastily ran right over to Cena and ended up taking a back body drop over the ropes all the way down to the concrete floor!

Cena, however, doubled over and fell on his knees in order to try and recover from all the pain that was just dished to him by CM Punk. After a few seconds of doing so, Punk began to get up from the floor down on the outside, and Cena began to finally pick himself up. Both men on their feet, CM Punk slid into the ring, and Cena, who turned around, saw him and gave him a clothesline over the top, sending him to the outside again just for good measure. CM ended up backing into the railing, but still did not fall down afterwards. So, he decided to try to play it a different way, now getting onto the apron. However, Cena had an answer for that as well, coming off with a missile dropkick knocking Punk off the apron, backfirst into the guardrail, with enough force that he had no choice but to go down flat on his stomach! Cena, rather than get up in the ring, rolled underneath the ropes to the outside to get up, and despite grimacing in pain a little bit up top, he walked over to CM Punk and was able to pick him up and send him headfirst into the steel steps.

Despite Maria's coming to him and begging him to stop, John did not stop there. He instead rammed Punk's head into the steps a second time, turned him around so that his back was trying to lean against the steps, and then proceeded to punch Punk right in the skull. While jerking backwards in response to each punch, Punk's head barely avoided the backhead crash into the steel steps. Cena finally got CM Punk off the steps completely and rolled him into the ring, before getting on the apron and crossing the ropes to enter the ring. Cena then picked up an already rising Punk and irishwhipped him into the corner, before knocking him out of it with a hard clothesline, then getting behind him and picking him up to slam him in the spin-out Protobomb. He then picked him up, irishwhipped him into the ropes, ducked underneath him as he returned, ran off the same way, then met CM with a flying shoulder block in the center of the ring. Cena then got up and looked at Punk laying down in the center of the ring, then put his hands in front of his face, as fans started to cheer in anticipation of what Cena was about to do next. The Franchise, as predicted, bent down towards Punk, did the "you can't see me" taunt, then ran off the ropes and executed the usual theatrics. What he didn't realize was, it was at that time that Punk quickly got up to his knees, then hit Cena with a low blow, cutting him off at the pass!

As Punk got up and started touting his smartness once more, the crowd stood jeering loud and clear in disapproval of Punk's tactic. The Drug-Free Pepsi Superstar turned around and started stalking away at Cena, waiting for him to get up. However, when he saw that Cena was favoring his nether regions a little too much for Punk's currently impatient liking, he picked up Cena and locked him into position to take him down in the Ura-nage slam so that he could get him in the Anaconda Vice. However, Cena quickly elbowed out of it, then kicked the doubled over Punk straight in the jaw, knocking him down flat on his back. Cena then did the "you can't see me" taunt once again, before running off the ropes. However, Punk was able to roll over closer to Cena in order to catch him off guard as he bounced off and turned around, resulting in him having to do it over. As he did so, Punk was able to get up, forcing Cena to abandon the Five Knuckle Shuffle plan again. Instead, he had to settle for a snap fisherman suplex. After dealing this suplex, Cena put Punk in a headlock, jerking hard in the hopes that Punk would go away, or at least be weakened considerably from the pressure of the hold. However, Punk was able to pick his lower body up, sending him into a kind of bent-over state, before leaping off the ground and landing his knees into Cena's side, forcing him to let go. After that creative counter by Punk, both men got up off the ground and started to trade right hands once more, although this one started at a much slower pace than the one that had begun this match. Again, Cena ended up taking the advantage in this exchange, only for Punk to come with a knee to the gut of Cena. He then picked him up and tried again to get him in the Ura-nage, but this time, Cena countered by getting in a front facelock and quickly turning it into a DDT on Punk!

After this, the fans began to cheer heavily for John Cena to take the advantage, while both men struggled to get up, Cena clearly having the better end of that than Punk. Maria was at ringside, looking scared for her boys. However, Edge again had to step out in front of his hometown crowd, coming through the crowd this time. He calmly climbed and jumped over the guardrail, but instead of taking any action towards the ring or against John Cena, the Rated R Superstar came towards Maria and started talking to her. She then turned around, came to him, and leaned up against him scared. Edge put an arm around her while intently watching what was going on in the ring at the same time. Around this time, Cena got up, then started to pick up CM Punk, before he saw Edge with his arm around Maria and immediately got set to ask what was going on. While Edge was mouthing to Cena for him to mind his own business, CM Punk was getting up, and the more Cena stayed off focus, the more of a chance Punk had of getting in a surprise attack on him. CM took advantage of that exact opportunity, turning him around, and getting him in a hamnmerlock, then swept his legs out from underneath him before dropping him in the Devil Lock DDT. Punk then got up, saw Edge in this slight embrace with his girlfriend, and immediately came down to the outside and confronted Edge in a bit of a questioning tone. However, Edge explained to him that "she seems scared, so I just came out here to spread a little cheer. It's the least I could do to help you carry out your mission." Upon finally seeing what Edge was trying to do, CM Punk high-fived his R-rated friend and upon encouragement from said blonde Canadian went back into the ring in order to continue fighting Cena. However, as soon as CM Punk picked up John Cena, the Voice of the Street suddenly lifted him in fireman's carry position, leading to anticipation within the crowd at the possible result. However, Punk was able to wiggle his way out of that predicament, and as soon as Cena turned around, he dished him with an STO clothesline, shades of Christopher Daniels coming out upon the execution of that maneuver. CM Punk then got back up and positioned Cena close to a turnbuckle, following which he climbed it. Once he did so, he first did the usual X thing with his forearms, generating boos, then went for a split-legged moonsault. Edge and Maria both broke out in smiles seeing this, Maria admiring the straight-edgeness of her boyfriend while momentarily forgetting her fear of the situation, Edge simply wanting to see CM Punk finish Cena. Punk then went for his Crooked/split-legged moonsault, but it connected not with Cena's upper body, but with Cena's raised knees, causing Punk to writhe in pain favoring his own upper body as he rolled around in the ring! Cena, meanwhile, struggled to pick himself up, coming towards CM as soon as he finished doing so. Edge and Maria both had concerned looks on their faces, though Edge was evidently very partial towards Punk in his concern. John picked up CM, then irishwhipped him towards a corner. However, it was uncontrolled and hard, causing Punk to fall down, so that he was seated in the corner. Cena went to him and picked him up by the legs, only to find Punk backflipping to get on his feet Jackie Chan style, and in all his flusteredness at the moment, Cena came towards Punk with a clothesline, but ended up caught in position, slammed in the Ura-nage, and finally caught in the Anaconda Vice!

Upon locking in the Vice, Punk gripped on tight with everything he had, in the hopes that Cena would finally go away and tap out. However, John, despite his head starting to turn red as he struggled through the excruciating pain of CM's maneuver, absolutely refused to submit, just as he had refused to say "I quit" back a year and a half ago against John Bradshaw Layfield. This wasn't about titles this time, this was about careers, and this was about lives. This was about saving Punk and Maria from being completely changed by McMahonism, and this was about saving himself from having to deal with a situation in which he could soon get fired not by the Chairman, but by CM Punk (via the on-condition ladder match Edge got him for the future). And if he had anything to say about, Maria would not be changed into a bitch just to fit Mr. McMahon's takeover agenda.

This was the thought process fueling Cena, making him refuse to submit to CM Punk's maneuver, while the whole time, Punk wanted the man just to either tap or have his head kick in, fighting to make it happen with the determination that he had to show John Cena what happens when someone tries to get intimately close to his girlfriend in any manner that he considers a threat.

Both men inspired by thoughts of Maria and dreads about what the future could bring if things didn't go their way tonight, Punk continued to wrench away at Cena and demand he tap, only for Cena to scream out and let out all the pain and fury in a way that said there was no way in hell he would tap out. Eventually, Cena was able to get himself into mode and start actually hulking up in a way while in the middle of this move, resulting in a group of really hard swings with both the right and left hand to each side of CM Punk's head. However painful it was, the Punker was able to hold on, until it got to the point where he'd taken about seven of those hits. Slowly but surely from then on, each punch loosened his grip until he was forced to let go of John Cena. Both men then laid there on the ground, the blood having rushed to each man's head from the pain Cena had to endure and the strain that Punk endured bringing him that pain.

Edge looked on at Punk and Cena in absolute wonder, having a newfound respect for the two warriors and their hearts' desire, while Maria could barely watch as John and her boyfriend completely tore each other apart out here in this match. It was surprising that neither man was bleeding right now, since both's heads were very nearly about to pop when Punk had Cena in the Vice. CM Punk was able to start getting up, while Cena was reduced to momentarily shaking and stirring, showing signs of life through practical near death in a manner similar to the Heartbreak Kid. As for Punk, he couldn't get up all that much before being forced to double over on one knee. He then had to slowly and painfully pick himself up, Cena still barely stirring, internally shaking the cobwebs of the Vice's pain out of his head. Punk, after having gotten up, decided to lean back on the ropes for a little bit, while the fans watched, their eyes glued to the match before them. CM Punk and John Cena were tearing the house down at a show whch was supposed to be about Trish Stratus and Edge vs. Christian, and even the Rated R Superstar himself was forced to watch in wonder at the amazing display of heart and ability before him.

Punk came towards John Cena, then picked him up by the head. However, Cena was able to jerk Punk's hands away from him and then catch Punk in an inside cradle! Despite the fact that this wasn't a match where one could win by pinfall, Cena did not just waste time making a useless mistake, as he proved clearly when he used this position to catch Punk off guard and punch him several times in the back of the head. However, Punk did easily managed to kick out of the predicament just the same. Both men got up slowly, Punk getting up first. Punk forearmed Cena a couple of times before irishwhipping him and coming towards him. Punk then charged towards Cena, but took a boot to the face for his efforts. Cena then got out of the corner, picked up Punk, and irishwhipped him towards the opposite corner. However, CM Punk did not turn around and lean on the turnbuckle. He hopped on it and backflipped over the charging Cena, landing on his feet in the process. After a kick to the midsection and a shove into the corner, Punk had Cena trapped there. Punk then placed Cena up seated on the second turnbuckle, then climbed up there himself. He then hooked his arm in a vertical suplex position, then raised both John and himself up to the top turnbuckle. However, Cena was able to punch his way out of this predicament via several hits to the gut, but instead of pushing off, Cena instead managed to go underneath Punk and carry him across his shoulders, head facing the announcer's tables. Immediately, you had Edge, Maria, and the three main announcers, and the two Spanish announcers at the table next to them, begging for Cena not to go through with what he was probably thinking about doing, the reason that every fan in this arena was screaming in absolute euphoria right now. The result that happened, and yes, it did happen, despite even Maria's pleas, was Cena throwing Punk off F-U style all the way down to the Spanish announce table!

At the same time, Cena, who jumped off towards the inside of the ring rather than off towards the table with Punk, ended up falling off the turnbuckle and landing jaw first into the top turnbuckle, knocking himself down in a sort of Hangman. However, the big story of the moment was that John Cena just F-U'd CM Punk off his shoulders over the top turnbuckle through the Spanish announcers' table right down to the outside! Jim Ross shouted out a "Holy hell!", Jerry Lawler gave his usual high-pitched girly scream, and Joey Styles burst out with yet another trademark "OH MY GOD!", that feat was so deadly and daring. Maria and Edge immediately came over to CM Punk, Maria coming down to Punk and cupping her seemingly unconscious boyfriend's head into her arms, screaming to see if he was okay. Edge crouched in concern as well, but was not the one for the melodrama in this scene, leaving that for Punk's girlfriend, who right now practically didn't even know if the straight edger was alive or dead. Luckliy for that spell, he was able to put an arm around her, which showed that he actually had something left. Upon seeing that, Edge came down to him and asked him if he was still good to continue the match. Despite Maria's objections to both the asking of the question and the possible ensuing answer to come from Punk, said ensuing answer was yes, as long as they could help him up and give him a little chance to catch his breath. Edge and Maria did so, following which Edge got a steel folding chair and set it up so that Punk could sit on it awhile. Once he was seated, resting with his head down, Maria came over to Punk and consoled him a little bit while Edge looked at John Cena and found a reason to put an evil grin on his face. Cena was getting up. However, what Edge failed to see was that coming through the crowd were none other than… the Rock!

The People's Champion jump-stepped over the guardrail, seeing Edge as he got into the ring and stalked away at the now rising Cena with the prospect of giving him a Spear. Rock wasn't about to tolerate that course of action, so instead of letting it happen, he tripped up Edge and then dragged him right back down to the outside, to a huge mixed reaction. Rock immediately followed up by laying the smackdown on Edge with several right hands, followed by the spit motion and the third right hand knocking Edge down. He then picked up the Rated R Superstar and dragged him by the head, throwing him over the rail exactly where Rock himself had come from just a minute ago. The majority of the crowd cheered the scene, but many hated the fact that this was getting in Edge's way. Meanwhile, John Cena saw this as an opening, an opportunity, to go and talk to Maria, so he came down to the outside and called her name, following which she turned around.

"Hey, Ria. Look. I'm not about to take him off and kill him while he's down. That's now my mode, especially when it comes to you," John said to her. "So I'll be in the ring. Tell him to get in when he's good and ready." Maria nodded, and Cena walked back to the ring, walked up the steps, and crossed through the middle and top rope to get in. He then leaned against a turnbuckle, and a minute later, CM Punk lifted his head, following which he rose to his feet gingerly, then hopped around a little bit in order to get some life and movement back. Immediately after doing that, Punk rushed into the ring and gave Cena the slap, the backhand, and the spinning backhand, following which he irishwhipped him, but Cena reversed it and met his return with a sitout hiptoss. Punk slowly began to get up as Cena rose to his feet more quickly, and John ran off the ropes behind Punk and flipped over him to hit him with the Throwback. As Punk rolled over on his back, Cena finally took a long gander at his open palm, before coming down and waving it in front of his face for the third time in this match. He then got off the ropes, shimmied his shoulders, brushed them off, and dropped the Five Knuckle Shuffle on CM Punk! Immediately after this, however, he didn't pump up his boots. He instead came down, set and locked in the STF-U!

Cena was now a warrior, relentless with the grip that he was applying onto Punk with this stepover toehold sleeper variation. He was determined to make CM Punk either pass out or tap out, not wanting to see this straight edger any longer tonight. He could sense that his time was finally coming, and he wasn't about to let go of this opportunity to get CM. Maria, however, was pleading like crazy for Punk to actually tap out so that she wouldn't have to see any more hell between the two. Edge, on the other hand, came over the guardrail actually cheering for Punk to get out of the hold, reminding the Straight Edge Revolver that he had to win this match to get the opportunity to fire Cena!

Maria and Edge clearly having opposite views on the matter, Maria's view agreed with by the screaming fans for a different reason, but they did not even acknowledge the fact, let alone get confrontational with one another. At the same time, you saw Punk's entire face turning beet red, him screaming out in agony as the STF-U was locked in on him. However, at the same time, you also saw him refusing to tap out with every inch of his body, even going so far as to close his fists while suffering this move. CM eventually did manage to come up with some way to try to get out of the maneuver, reaching over and behind his own head in the hopes of grabbing Cena's. John apparently saw that idea coming, so he made sure his head was as high as possible so that Punk couldn't grab anything. Though he couldn't get out of it with the scratch and claw technique, however, Straight Edge 24/7 decided on other means, actually thrusting closed fists upwards in the hopes that he would at least have enough force to connect with Cena's jaw. That did succeed, but it took four hits for Cena to let go of Punk. By then, Punk was already favoring his chin and the top of his neck greatly, to the poitn where Cena once again became the first to get up on his feet in this situation. So, Cena picked up Punk by actually using his left arm this time, and then wrenched it and thrust it downwards to cause pain to it, following which he let go of the arm, posed to the crowd with the "Word Life" sign, and then ran off the ropes and hit a clothesline.

However, Edge immediately tripped him up right afterwards, starting an argument between Edge and Maria, as well as sending the crowd into a major frenzy because their hometown hero just did something. The Ballistic Realist then actually ignored Maria, got a steel chair and slid into the ring with it stalking away at Cena, but Maria came in after him and stopped him from swinging it at the Doctor of Thuganomics. The argument between the two continued, until the point where Cena got up, and Edge decided enough was enough: he swung the chair at Cena with all his might, Maria being completely unable to hold onto it. She ended up falling on her backside in the corner while the chair hit Cena to the point that it actually busted him open. Maria wished that she could go over to Cena and tend to him, but saw Punk getting up and realized that there was nothing that she could do. So she rolled out of the ring and stood crying while leaning on the guardrail. Edge, who had just gotten out of the ring, saw the pain she had just been driven to and immediately held a hand over his head in contemplation and possible regret because of the adverse effect of his interference on Punk's girlfriend. So he came over to her and tried to soothe her, only to find her angrily turning around, slapping him off, and running away up the ramp and disappearing behind the curtains. Edge now grew the seething angry expression trademark to himself, and Punk, who had been watching this whole time, came down to Edge in utter confusion this time.

Edge began to explain the situation to him a little bit, before finally getting tired of it and shouting in complete and utter fury at the matter, "Damnit, this is all John Cena's fault! You have to destroy him and get him out of her head!" Punk, immediately realizing where he was right, also began to breathe heavily in anger, so as the bleeding Cena began to try to pick himself up, Punk slid into the ring, and forcibly picked him up, set him up, and hit the Ura-nage into the Anaconda Vice.

This time, he held on tight as he possibly could. The grip was probably not as good as it had been last time, but Cena, despite his never-quit attitude, was now in a very dire condition due to having been busted open by Edge's chair shot. Edge was grinning from ear to ear as Punk applied all of his fury and current arm strength into really wrenching on John Cena's head in this anaconda vice grip. John refused to give up, tapping out wasn't in his blood, but he was still fading fast. Edge began to get a little impatient as despite all of Punk's desperation and rage in applying this attack, Cena still was not going to give up. So, he got on the apron, which took the referee's attention, and as soon as the ref came over to him, he immediately suggested the ref check to see if Cena was conscious. Then he went down, and the ref, after considering Edge's idea, came down to Cena and saw that his arms were practically lifeless as the blood loss had gotten to a point where he could no longer fight a submission. However, to make sure of this, the ref lifted Cena's arm and let it fall once. He then lifted it and let it fall a second time. Neither time did it come up, and if that happened again, he lost the match. So the ref lifted Cena's arm and let it fall a third time, which… actually, it did. The referee had no choice but to call the match and have the bell rung, which caused CM Punk to finally let go and just lay down on the mat as the announcement would be made about the match.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it has been determined by referee Mike Chioda that John Cena is unconscious and unable to continue. Therefore, the winner of this submission match, CM Punk!"

This announcement from Lilian Garcia could've been jeered, but out of respect for the superstars in the ring that had just fought their hearts out, there were actually many cheers of respect for Cena and CM Punk. As "This Fire Burns" finally came on again, Edge entered the ring and decided to stand over Cena, crouch down to him, and mock him with his own "you can't see me" taunt, resulting in a confused uproar from the crowd. Afterwards, Edge noticed Punk was trying to pick himself up, and came over to help his pal, following which the two exchanged some words. Edge then led Punk to the center of the ring and actually lifted his hand high in victory, a gesture that Punk received to a cheering crowd for the first time in his short career on the Raw brand. The two then exited the ring and went to walk up the ramp, turning around to Cena and raising their arms in victory once mid-ramp, following which they turned around and headed behind the curtains for good (as far as this scene is concerned).

John Cena, shortly thereafter, finally started to come to, but was not in any favorable condition to really do much. Shawn Michaels and Triple H, DX, with Stacy Keibler behind them, then came out to the arena to a good reaction, walking down the ramp and sliding into the ring and going to check on Cena and help the bloody and barely conscious Doctor of Thuganomics get to his feet. Cena was also given cheers of respect by the audience in Toronto for the heart-filled performance that he put on in that ring, despite the fact that it was indeed a losing effort. Though flanked by Keibler and supported on either side by a founding and currnent member of DX, Cena was still able to walk to the back. Even Christian Cage came out for one second and actually thumped his chest and pointed towards Cena in respect, a moment that the fans loved for all it was worth.

Meanwhile, Edge and CM Punk were walking through the back whem they were met by Edge's lady Lita in the middle of the hall. Lita immediately caressed and locked lips with her R-rated man as soon as she appeared in front of the camera, following which he asked her how everything was holding up in the McMahonism locker rooms.

"I can't figure out what's more awesome between you and how everybody's set - except for one really downtrodden exception - to be paying attention to you there," Lita stated in all her confident honesty.

"How's Maria?" CM Punk immediately butted in to ask.

"Oh, hey CM. Congratulations on finally coming one step closer to getting rid of John Cena. Sadly, Maria would be the one really downtrodden exception that I was just talking about. You might wanna go over and check on her right away," Lita reported, following which Punk thanked her and despite his injuries actually began to sprint for the McMahonism locker rooms.

"Li… did you just say everybody's attention on me may be more awesome _than_ me?" Edge asked once Punk was out of the way, perturbed about Lita's answer for some reason.

"Not necessarily. I just said I didn't know which was," Lita replied casually. "Why?"

"I seriously hope you were kidding. You should know better than anybody that there is absolutely no one more awesome than me in this business, of even outside of it," Edge replied. "In a matter of minutes, babe, will come the biggest moment of my life. The moment that I face Christian Cage, my old pal for the longest time, in order to show him in front of everyone we've ever known once and for all that he doesn't light a crap compared to me. See, it's real simple. I restored the normalcy of the WWE title. It is thanks to me that that spinoff reject John Cena came up with, along with its DX version, is gone. I am Edge. I am awesomeness. I am champion."

"Hold up there, Edge guy," someone said. Edge and Lita quickly found out that that someone was Amy Lee, standing alongside the Charismatic Enigma, Jeff Hardy.

"Oh, well if it isn't the so-called "Neo-Goth Princess", and the biggest idiot in the history of all time, the abstract can of paint among the Hardy Boyz, little Jeffrey," Lita taunted cutely with the sarcastic greeting.

"So you do still hold Matt better than me," Jeff greeted back with a smile, hinting at Lita's past. "Good to see something never changed."

"Shut up! As far as Lita's concerned, you guys are has-beens. I continue to be the biggest thing around you," Edge shot back immediately. "If you came to bother us about Matt Hardy, I could beat the crap out of you, but in order to save it for Christian, I'll get Vince to throw you out."

"No, dimwit, we didn't come about Matt Hardy. We came about Cage," Amy Lee corrected him.

"Cage? Is that what you call him? You don't even recognize him as Christina… I mean, Christian?" Edge asked, laughing to himself about the "Christina" joke.

"Before you start giving people girl names, Edgina and Edgette," Amy quickly retorted, "I gotta remind you that you haven't even beaten the guy and you're still talking smack like you're gods over him."

"I never said I was a god. Stop putting words in the mouth of the Rated R WWE Champion," Edge objected to her claims, before taking off his red frame sunglasses. "However, you do pose a point. I do righteously claim to be far superior to Christian. Therefore, tonight, I'll give you the free bait opportunity. I'll give you the chance, Amy Lee, to make a name for yourself as more than a sad song artiste. You can come alone, you can come with Tomko, you can come with your entire band if you want to, but all I know is you can come ringside with Christian Cage."

"Okay, Edge," Lee started without a hint of sarcasm or melodrama in her voice. "Why don't you and the red ribbon whore get quiet so I can sing a song for you?"

"Hey, don't you call me a red ribbon whore, alright? I've had enough of being ribbed like that and being called a ho on no absolute merit whatsoever all because of a whining tunnel-vision jerk like Matt Hardy who can't handle the truth!" Lita shouted at the top of her lungs.

"If I found out my-"

"Quiet, I've gotta sing," Amy Lee cut Jeff off before he could blow things out of hand. She then got herself into mode and began.

"How can you think that you could walk all over Cage, As if you're his superior in every walk and way?" she sang to the tone of the beginning of her "Bring me to Life" song from years ago, being met immediately with a forcible "SHUT UP!" from the Rated R Superstar who claims to be awesome.

"I didn't come here to hear your pro-Christian Cage rendition of your own damn song! I came here to _beat_ Christian Cage once and for all to keep my WWE Championship!" Edge blasted off at Amy Lee, before turning to Lita and calming down. "Vince and the others are gonna need you more than Mickie and I will tonight to keep up the morale backstage. I want them to know, from start to finish, their King of Awesomeness will keep the Championship."

"Edge, consider it done. We'll meet you at the victory party, alright? Do your best babe," Lita wished, as she and Edge kissed, before she left from the area. Before anyone could make a comment, including Edge himself, he found a hand placed on his shoulder, and upon turning around saw that it was the hand of Captain Charisma.

"Tell me, Edge. Why do you act like you're self-entitled to be greater than everything, like this match is already set in stone?" Christian asked, following which Edge jerked his hand off and turned towards him.

"Because I am the MVP of this show," Edge declared boldly, leaving Jeff, Amy, and Christian there to ponder his words (or not). Neither Stacy Keibler nor Mickie James were in on this scene because they were already at the Gorilla position, waiting to come out for this scheduled tag team match.

Meanwhile, WWE veteran ring announcer Howard Finkel had now taken Lilian Garcia's place for this specific match and was standing in the middle of the ring with his trademark tux on, along with a microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is tonight's main event, the much-anticipated "one title can change hands" mixed tag team match for the WWE Women's Championship and the WWE Heavyweight Championship! The rules of the match are: intergender contact is to be disallowed and may be subject to disqualification. Upon partner tags, the new legal person's gender-correspondent opponent may only enter the ring once forced into the ring by their opponent or tagged in by their partner. Also, if Mickie James is pinned or forced to submit by Stacy Keibler, then Mickie will lose the WWE Women's Championship to Stacy. If Edge is pinned or forced to submit by Christian Cage, then Edge will lose the WWE Championship to Christian. If any other means of final decision is reached, neither championship is to change hands. Also, as a special provision made by Mr. Vincent Kennedy McMahon himself, chairs will be legal to use only for Edge and Christian against one another," Fink announced, as the fans were at the edge of their seat cheering already. "Now, allow me to introduce to you the ladies of this match, whose role will be a potential decision for the WWE Women's Championship. Introducing first, the challenger for the Women's Championship, from Baltimore, Maryland, Stacy Keibler!"

The fans were at first booing when Stacy's music came on, but out she came in the full black in-ring outfit she had worn once in a mixed tag team match alongside Christian's rival Scott Steiner. At the ramp, she spun in place ballerina style, before walking down the ramp smiling and waving to fans. Her presence had actually managed to earn her a few cheers, especially after she got on the apron and and, in her typical sensuous manner, entered the ring by going over the second rope. After this, she stretched her arms out diagonally upwards and away, then gave a courteous forward-bending bow to each side of the audience. The song finally died down, and Finkel got back on the microphone.

"And her team's female opponent, from Richmond, Virginia, the WWE Women's Champion Mickie James!"

Out came Mickie James to her own theme song, receiving a heavy mixed reaction as she came out jumping for joy with the women's title on her shoulder. Once she decided to stop, she happily skipped down the ramp, slid into the ring, got on the turnbuckle, and raised her arms up with the championship while letting out a high pitched scream, which earned her the cheers of the audience for a few seconds before she jumped down and held the championship up to Stacy's face, leading to the two trading words. before they stayed in their corners.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the homecoming competitors whose role in this match is a potential decision for the WWE Heavyweight Championship!" Finkel announced, following which the crowd immediately began to tear the roof off this joint. "Introducing first, the challenger for the WWE Championship. Currently residing in Tampa, Florida, by way of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, (insert huge cheers) weighing in at 227 pounds, "Captain Charisma" Christian Cage!"

As soon as this introduction was given, the lights suddenly faded, and the golden fireworks of the past flooded the stage once again. The music started coming on again, actually two tracks at the same time. The soft introduction to "My Last Breath" blared on, but not alone, for its TNA-rendition counterpart played right alongside it. The song went exclusively into the real version after the intro, however, and a split-second view behind the Gorilla position indicated that Christian Cage was jumping up and down, excitedly preparing to come out. The lights began to flicker on in the blue shade that had become associated with Cage ever since he came to TNA. 40 seconds into the song (intro included), the fireworks finally stopped, and Christian stepped out to the stage, white and gold "Captain Charisma" jumpsuit on, in plain sight for all of his Peeps to see and to adore as they gleefully did. Christian came out with Tomko standing loyally behind him, the two marveling at the huge fan base that Christian had here. Cage turned to Tomko and said some words to him, following which the Problem Solver actually did a handshake and shoulder bump with his pal before going away to the back and leaving Christian to see the sights… I mean, the Peeps. Christian then opened his arms and turned around to walk backwards, and after he turned back around, high-fived with some of the fans while going down the ramp, and then instead of going to the steel steps that were right there decided to go the other way in order to keep high-fiving fans in the front row as he walked around the ring, eventually reaching the same steel steps that were right there the long way just for the sake of meeting and greeting the Peeps, Stacy smiled and clapped as he did this. Christian then walked up the steps and crossed the ropes into the ring, quickly coming onto one of the turnbuckles, removing the hood from over his head, and thumping his chest towards the fans in Toronto, who were on their feet. Christian then got off and walked towards the opposite turnbuckle, pointing towards the people and to himself once on it in very much the same fashion that he did when he was teaming with Edge, not forgetting to do the "belt around my waist" signal to show that he intended on taking the WWE Championship from Edge tonight. After this, he posed in the center of the ring with his arms open, receiving the adulation with a smiling kind of pride, as his music finally faded. Notable was how the song was either cut into by or mixed with touches of Christian's TNA version at several points, including around the 3:00 point, where the song was stopped.

"And finally, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 250 pounds, the WWE Heavyweight Champion, "the Rated R Superstar" Edge!"

Following the eponymous phrase of "you think you know me", "Metalingus" by Alterbridge began to build, with both the smoke effects and pyrotechnic burst coming on before the actual song. After the first rendition of the chorus verse was half over, Edge was seen running out of the smoke, jumping around energetically as he used to do and has somewhat started doing recently. He went to one side of the stage and, crouched slightly, shouted to the rioting Edgeheads of Toronto while signaling towards himself, following which he repeated the same thing on the other side while also circling his waist with the WWE Championship around it. Once done there, he stopped at the center of the stage, before walking down the ramp to everyone's cheers for once. It actually overwhelmed him, causing him to stop mid-ramp with a huge beaming smile on his face. He slid into the ring finally after a few seconds, getting up and climbing his usual turnbuckle and shouting some things to the fans while pointing back and forth to himself and to that section of the crowd that was before him. He then got off the turnbuckle and leaned on the ropes on the other side, being clearly supported all the while by both the clapping Mickie and the riotously cheering fans even when he raised his right arm up high while leaning. Once he got off the ropes, he then got on Christian's usual posing turnbuckle and posed with his arms extended high with some slight similarly to Randy Orton, following which he came down and walked to the center of the ring, where he took his WWE Championship belt off his waist and raised it straight up into the air in his right hand. Christian looked at the belt with an intentful stare, while Mickie James clapped and cheered for Edge just like the rest of the audience. Once he lowered said arm with the title, Edge gave the belt to the referee to get it out of the way, as did Mickie with her Women's Championship.

And then the song faded out and the bell finally rang, following which both teams held a discussion as to who was going to start the match. Edge, though, decided to end those talks prematurely by going over to assault Christian and shove Stacy away, trapping the younger of the two "brothers" born exactly a month apart in a flurry of elbows and forearms in the corner. Once Christian was down enough, this flurry turned into stomps, stopped because of the referee's DQ count, and ended up in a quick lower dropkick knocking Cage's head back into the bottom turnbuckle. Edge then immediately got up and took the time to pose to the crowd, following which chants of "Let's go Christian, let's go Edge!" developed in the audience. Edge then took up Christian and dragged him over to his own corner, following which Mickie James tagged herself in and jumped over the ropes doing a slingshot senton on top of Christian Cage! James then got up, made the cover, but Christian easily kicked out after one. Mickie hurriedly tagged Edge back into the match as Christian got back up, but instead of entering the ring as Mickie left, Edge stayed on the apron, waiting for Christian to get on his feet. Once he did so, Edge took Christian's head and dropped down to the floor, getting him in a Hangman as Cage's neck bounced off against the top rope. Edge then went back into the ring and got to attacking Christian with mounted punches, which the referee had stopped with his DQ count. Edge let go when the count was at four, following which he patiently waited for Christian to get up. After Cage got off his back, however, Edge lost all patience and decided to take Christian and choke him into the ropes. Again, the referee made his DQ count, and once it got to four, the Rated R Superstar let go. Now he looked over to Mickie James, who wanted to get the tag to be able to battle Stacy Keibler right about now while Christian was down. Edge looked back and forth from Mickie to Stacy, then down to Christian, who was getting up. He then turned to Mickie with a grin on his face, before immediately picking up Christian and sending him to the outside, then tagging in Mickie James, giving her all the free room in the world to force or taunt Stacy into the ring.

The Women's Champion entered the ring and confidently walked over to Stacy, talking trash to her. However, Keibler was able to take her head and drop down in the Hangman just as Edge had done to Christian! Stacy then went down and ran around the ring to get to where Christian Cage was, but found Edge soon interjecting himself in between them so as for her to be unable to get Christian away. However, Christian, who just got up, suddenly grabbed Edge in a reverse headlock and crashed the back of Edge's neck against his knee. After slowly getting up, Christian successfully slid into the ring as Stacy quickly scurried back on to her spot at the apron, and just as Mickie got up, Christian tagged Stacy in fair and square. James, went to get in the first offense after Stacy kicked out, but her right hand was blocked, and countered with a Keibler forearm, which would be repeated by several others of its kind until Stacy backed Mickie up enough to irishwhip her. However, Mickie hung onto the ropes, and Stacy charged in after her, but Mickie low bridged the ropes, causing Stacy to go over the top rope to the outside. The fans were screaming for Christian and Edge to enter the ring, but instead, Mickie came over to Captain Charisma and slapped him in the face! And you know that in typical home crowd fashion, the fans at the Air Canada Centre did not like this one bit! Christian Cage entered the ring and tried to go in after Mickie or at least shout something to her, but the referee held him back and was oblivious to Edge, resulting in Edge being able to uncleanly come from behind and take Christian down with a forearm shove, then get in a few stomps on him before being restrained and sent back to the apron on his side by the referee. Christian picked himself up as Edge enjoyed a laugh.

Meanwhile, the Empress of Legs was working her way back up into the ring, and by the time she got in the ring, Mickie barely noticed her. Stacy was able to trip up Mickie by grabbing her right leg out from underneath her, following which she stomped Mickie's rear thigh several times. Stacy then let go of Mickie's leg, ran off the ropes, and hit Mickie with a leg drop. Stacy covered Mickie James, who then kicked out. Edge noticeably did not make an effort to go to Stacy and break up the three count. Stacy then got up, picked up Mickie and gave her a front kick, causing her to double over. Stacy lifted Mickie out of this position, then gave her a chop to the upper pectorial region, following which she wrenched Mickie's arm and went for a hook kick. However, Mickie was aware enough to duck away, which thanks to her considerable height disadvantage to Stacy was easy enough. She then turned around with a quick spin kick to Stacy and gave her a DDT. However, it wasn't the MickieDT, so after Mickie made the cover, Stacy was able to kick out after the count of two. Mickie James then picked up Keibler and got her in a scoop slam, after which she covered Stacy again. Again, Stacy kicked out at two. Mickie then picked up Stacy, backed her into a corner, and tried to irishwhip her into the opposite corner. Stacy was able to leap backwards out of the corner, but Mickie caught and pushed her legs towards the outside, forcing her to hang on and stop herself from falling so that she could land on the apron. As James approached her, Stacy gave her a headbutt to the mdsection, then performed a sunset flip over her for a cover! 1, 2, and Mickie just barely kicked out! Again you saw neither Edge making an effort to break it up nor Christian caring if Edge did or not, psychology that is obviously dealing with the fact that if these women ended the match, then the conclusion would have no bearing on Edge's WWE Heavyweight Championship. Meanwhile, after Stacy and Mickie both got up at once, Mickie gave Stacy a clothesline taking her down. Mickie then came over to Stacy and covered her, but she was able to kick out after two as well. Stacy rolled over on her stomach and tried to push herself from from there, but Mickie got up quickly and gave her a leg drop to take her right back down before that could happen. Mickie then rolled Stacy over, but did not go for a cover, instead opting to pound the back of Keibler's head into the mat repeatedly until the referee's DQ count went to four. Mickie then got up and got in the ref's face for just one second, before coming to Stacy, picking her up, scooping her and slamming her. James then stepped over Keibler and sat on her in an attempt to get a pin cover in. Stacy, though, was able to put a leg on the bottom rope before the referee could count, forcing Mickie to hook Stacy's legs for a rana pin cover, which after the count of two was reversed by Stacy into a sitout pin. 1, 2, Mickie, reversed it back into a rana. 1, 2, Stacy reversed it into a sitout pin and turned around so that Mickie's legs didn't have the ropes behind her. 1, 2, Mickie kicked out. Both women then got up, after which Mickie wnet for a back spinning kick on Stacy, who saw it coming and was able to push it back strong enough to force Mickie to spin in place, after which she was open for the taking and Stacy quickly tackled her in a Lou Thezs press and hit her with a few right hands in this mount position.

After Stacy stopped due to the ref's admonishment and both ladies got up, Stacy clotheslined Mickie and knocked her down, following which she got back up immediately. This process would repeat itself twice more, before Mickie decided to roll out of the ring and stand outside. Christian Cage, not trusting whatever Mickie could be up to, came off the apron, took James, and rolled her into the ring, following which Stacy stalked away at her and waited for her to get up. Once Mickie did stand up, she found herself hit with a spinning heel kick from Stacy, who at first went for the cover, but immediately got off Stacy and looked towards Christian, a smile growing between the two as the crowd slowly came unglued with cheers. Stacy then got up and pointed to Chrisian, following which the fans were now screaming out of their seats. After a moment of teasing us, turned around, dragged Mickie over to place her a bit closer to Edge, then walked back towards Christian, tagging him in at the exact moment Mickie was able to crawl over to Edge and tag him in. The crowd was wilder than it had ever been before for a wrestling event here in Toronto, for now the hometown heroes, Edge and Christian Cage, had both been tagged in by their partnering ladies and were now ready to face off against each other once again. Christian and Edge engaged in a standoff, which saw both men nodding their heads and grinning. In one last moment of friendship before they finally got to tearing each other apart over Edge's Championship, the former Canadian Rockers shook hands and embraced. After turning their backs momentarily, Edge and Christian simultaneously tried to take advantage of this and lay a sneak attack on each other, leading to an "offset-of-snakes" fast and furious trade of punches! Christian was the one to take the advantage in this, backing Edge into the ropes, irishwhipping him, and hitting his former partner with a missile dropkick. Edge immediately recovered from the dropkick and was on one knee by the time Christian got up and the two got to staring at each other, Edge wide-eyed. Edge got up and crept towards Christian as the two went for a grapple on each other, following which Edge quickly got behind Christian Cage and got him in the school boy rollup. 1… 2… Christian kicked out.

The two "brothers" stood up quickly, then slowly stepped up to each other, talking smack to one another, before Edge suddenly reared back and swung with an insulting slap to Christian's face! Giving his pal no time to retaliate, however, Edge quickly attacked Edge with a swarm of forearms, eventually backing him into the ropes but keeping on with the assault until the referee's count had gotten to four. Edge then turned to the crowd and posed with his arms stretched out and up high. However, Christian wasn't taking this lightly, catching Edge the minute he turned back around with a rough tackle, followed by a strong array of right hands from the mount position, until Edge shoved Christian off and the two both got back up. Edge walked right into an arm drag, which Christian followed up on by keeping hold of Edge's arm and getting him in an armbar. Edge was able to maneuver his way out of it, following which Christian charged with a clothesline. Edge ducked, got behind Captain Charisma, then got him with a backdrop suplex. Now the momentum started rolling in for the King of Awesomeness, as he came to the outside, dragged Christian out with him, and sent him into the security rail. Edge then looked down upon his former friend with an evil grin on his face, but noticed the growing "E-&-C!" chants of the audience and got to motioning for the fans to turn it up abit louder for awhile, loving this Toronto audience like he hated all the others. Edge then looked at Christian starting to get up and started towards Cage, but Stacy Keibler, who had come down to ringside during the E&C chants, was able to pull Edge by the arm, after which he turned around and started to yell at her, before she slapped him square in the face and was booed for it! Edge, though, quickly picked Stacy up, dropped her gut first onto the guardrail so that she was bent over, then spanked her once before sending her completely over the rail where she could not get in his way any longer. The fans were cheering, but Christian Cage was now up, and he was mad. After a brief moment of staring at each other, Christian scowling, the two quickly entered the ring as the ring out count reached nine.

Edge punched Cage, Cage punched Edge, and it went back and forth this way until Cage took the advantage, which only stood until Edge gave Christian a knee to the gut, followed by an irishwhip into a flapjack upon return. Edge quickly covered Christian, but the Peep Man kicked out after the count of two. Edge then walked towards Christian, stomped on him a few times, then picked him up and gave him a snapmare, which was quickly followed up by a kick to the face to knock him down. Edge then hooked Christian's leg for another cover. 1, 2, kickout by Cage. Edge now picked up Christian Cage and put his arms over the ropes, before pulling them while pushing Christian's spine with his right boot in a surfboard-like standing hold using the ropes, until the referee's disqualification count reached four. Edge then let go of the position, following which he quickly put Christian Cage over the top rope, this time in Edge and Mickie James territory. James then stepped down from the apron and stomped on Christian's left arm a few times, which was not well receivred by anyone there but Edge… and he was busy distracting the referee so that he didn't see Mickie to admonish her. Once she was done, she entered the ring and tapped Edge on the shoulder, then pointed to Christian as he paid attention to her. Edge finally came down to the outside, picked up Cage, then rolled him into the ring. Edge quickly followed up with a rear chinlock to Christian, following which the mixed chants of "Let's go Edge!" and "Christian Cage!" started to pile up in the arena. While this was going on, Edge quickly got his knee out from on Christian's back and wrapped his legs around Christian in a body scissors, turning it into a rear naked choke. The chants continued to pile in even stronger, as the fans chanting for Christian wanted him to get out of the predicament and the fans cheering for Edge intended to drown them out. Stacy and Mickie were both pounding their corner's top turnbuckle in response to both men's chants. Eventually, Christan was able to swing backwards with his right arm and punch Edge's head behind his own. After several instances of this, Christian finally forced Edge to let go of the rear naked choke.

Once out of the predicament, both Christian and Edge got up, following which Cage now took an advantage with a kick to the midsection, a European uppercut, and an irishwhip into a back body drop. Edge then got up and was lifted onto Christian's shoulders, then dropped in a gutbuster. Edge then quickly got up in the corner, following which Christian Cage hit him with a clothesline, pushed him back into the corner when he started to walk out, then hit him with numerous lefts and rights to the gut and to the face. Christian then trailed off to thump his chest repeatedly, arousing cheers from the Peeps at the Air Canada Centre. He then quickly irishwhipped Edge again, however the Rated R Superstar reversed that one and tried to meet Christian's return with a clothesline, but Christian ducked, ran off the opposite side, and actually hit a clothesline of his own. Edge then got up, walked into another clothesline, following which Christian then hit him with an inverted atomic drop, which he quickly followed up with a dropkick to the face of Edge. After doing a little grimacing in his right arm, Christian then got a cover of his own. 1, 2, kickout by Edge. Christian then picked up Edge, who quickly ripped Christian's arms away and hit him with a dropkick down to the knees, knocking him down flat on his face and stomach. Edge then rolled Christian over on his back and hooked a leg for a pinfall. 1, 2, Christian kicked out. As Christian slowly picked himself up, Edge got up and decided to go up to the top rope, trying to do something at the high rank district. His fingers shaking towards himself, Edge waited in anticipation for Christian to get up. Once he did so, Edge leapt over onto him in a cross body, however Christian rolled through and became the one to get the cover in! 1… 2… no! Edge kicked out! Christian then banged the mat in frustration once, before getting up at around the same time as Edge. Both men up, Edge quickly gave Christian a thumb to the eye, then as his back was turned, hit him with the Edge-O-Matic rear mat slam, and quickly took his legs as they were up for grabs in order to get a cover. 1… 2… Cage still kicked out! Now it was Edge's turn to bang the mat in frustration.

No sooner did he finish that than he picked himself up, then immediately staggered back into a corner, where he laid for a few seconds, before coming down in stalking position for the Spear. Edge awaited Chrisian's rise to his feet with the immediate idea for this maneuver on his mind. Once Cage was up, the Ballistic Realist tried to go ballistic on him with a Spear, but it failed, as Christian sidestepped and Edge ended up Spearing the ring post! Christian then took advantage, got Edge out of the corner, and tried to underhook his arms from behind. Problem is, when Christian tried to turn himself and Edge around, his arms were too painfully shot to complete the process, allowing Edge enough time to get out of it, stay behind Christian, and hit him with the Faceplant! Edge then got up, picked Christian up, and got in a front facelock, hinting towards possibilities of Edgecution. However, Christian quickly got out of that predicament and executed an arm wrench, followed by a kick to the midsection, and the People's DDT! Christian then decided to go for the cover again, but Edge again kicked out before the count of three! Christian at first just sat there with a look of shock on his face, but eventually got over it as Edge started to pick himself up. Christian did the same, getting up just slightly faster than Edge. Once they were both up, Christian quickly gave the Vanilla Scorchcake a piece of his own medicine by raking his eyes. Cage then walked over to a corner, climbed up to the top turnbuckle, and waited for Edge to walk towards him. He did do so, and Cage went for a top rope missile dropkick. However, Edge saw it coming and quickly dove forward and ducked as Cage ended up crashing into the canvas back first!

Edge, knowing that Mickie would have a free opportunity, opted to tag her in, following which the Superball quickly ran towards Stacy and forced her into the ring, loud boos hitting the arena as this occurred. Mickie James then picked up Stacy Keibler, and hit her with a back kick to the gut, front kick to the face, and a reverse roundhouse kick to the head to knock her down. James then stalked away at Keibler, who was getting up. As soon as Stacy was up, the Controlled Psycho got her in a front facelock and jumped for the MickieDT, oblivious to the fact that Christian had just gotten up and he was still in the ring. She would end up paying for not noticing it, as Christian stopped her from falling and taking Stacy down with her, and instead pushed her into the opposite direction, where she was forced to let go before landing on her back behind Keibler! Stacy then turned around, picked up Mickie James, and got her with a couple of step-up forearm shivers, followed by ramming her headfirst into the turnbuckle, then executing a corner foot choke, stimulating the males in the audience with a good look at her legs while at the same time choking Mickie out to the admonishment of a five count. When it reached four, Stacy let go, but pushed Mickie back into the corner, following which she turned to the side, did a cartwheel, then quickly turned towards Mickie James to get her with a hip attack to the midsection, which she followed up with a bulldog. Stacy then got a cover in on Mickie James, who kicked out after two. Stacy picked up Mickie, but Mickie raked Stacy's eyes, then got Stacy in an inverted headlock and hit a falling reverse DDT. James then immediately got the cover in on Keibler, but Christian Cage entered the ring and pulled Mickie off of Stacy! Not wanting the fans to end with these women this way, the fans cheered Christian's move and started chanting his name. However, Mickie wasn't exactly so pleased, as she came towards Christian and tried to slap him in the face, following which he blocked her and forced in a kiss of embarrassment from which she quickly broke free. Stacy, now up, turned Mickie around and hit her with the STO that pinned her at SummerSlam! Keibler then actually followed up with a cover as Christian Cage entered the ring. 1… 2… Cage pulled his own partner off of Mickie James and out of the cover!

After he did this, Christian came down to the apron, and dragged Stacy Keibler down with him, following which she immediately got confrontational about what he just did, shouting at him and demanding what that was.

"If I just let you pin Mickie James just now, you'd be the Women's Champion, but I woulda just lost my chance to get Edge and take the WWE Championship for myself once and for all," Christian reminded, as he motioned towards the ring, himself, and did the title-around-my-waist signal for emphasis. "I don't know what you're trying to pull out here, forgetting about the big picture just to look out for yourself, but I got a legacy to obtain and a dream to make out here, and you're not gonna ruin it by being a bitch! So help me out here, will ya?"

Aghast and frozen at Christian's sudden angry turn, Stacy found herself unable to do anything about Christian rolling her into the ring. However, as soon as she got up, she found herself rolled up by Mickie James in a school girl roll-up, Mickie planting her feet up on the middle rope for leverage as soon as the ref was out of position to see it. 1… 2… 3!

"Here are your winners, still WWE Women's Champion, Mickie James, and still WWE Heavyweight Champion, Edge!"

Combine Stacy's sudden demoralization and Mickie's using the ropes for leverage behind the referee's back, along with the fact that Christian was looking up to the sky on the outside and had his back turned to the action, there was nothing that could be done to prevent the three-count from coming in. As Edge's music went on, the fans started to jeer at how the match ended, however Mickie and Edge quickly escaped to the ramp, walking backwards up the ramp with smiled on their faces as the ref got both of their championship belts, handed the title straps to their respective champions, and raised an arm of both Edge and Mickie up in the air. With the crowd jeering at how cheaply this match ended, Christian Cage looked on in shock as he saw Edge and Mickie leaving and Stacy standing in shock. Cage climbed the steel steps, entered the ring through the ropes, then looked at Stacy Keibler with anger written all over his face. Stacy then turned to face Christian, following which between her sorrow and hi anger, the atmosphere was tense between the two. Christian then shook his head and started to walk away from Stacy, but she stopped him before he could walk out, following which he angrily turned and snapped, elbowing her in the face in the process. When he saw her falling down, he immediately realized his mistake and came down to Stacy to check on her to see if she was okay. Once she nodded and put her arms around his neck, he reciprocated the gesture and lifted her up to a vertical base, He looked at her and asked her again if she was okay, then after she nodded, he suddenly kissed her, which granted a surprised and aroused reaction from the Peeps. Once he broke the kiss, Keibler in shock, he mouthed off the words "I'm sorry" to her, following which he got behind her and hooked her arms, then turned her around in Unprettier position! After standing in that same pose for a few seconds, Christian threw a grin on his face, then dropped down, crashing Stacy's head into the mat in the Unprettier! He then got up and thumped his chest, then pointed to the crowd! And as if this sick betrayal wasn't shocking enough, the fact that Edge was laughing _and the Toronto audience was cheering_ about it made the shock of the moment even worse!

At the announce table, Joey Styles damned the entire arena to hell, following which he stood up, slammed his headset into the ground, got a microphone, ran into the ring, then stood in its center to say something.

"Christian! Edge! Toronto!" he bellowed out. "This shit sucks!"

Cage saw him there and gave him a low blow for his troubles! This was followed up by Edge giving Mickie his WWE title and walking down the ramp, before sliding into the ring and taking the mic that Styles just had.

"You see, Christian! Now you're finally starting to get the point!" Edge suddenly shouted, gaining a good reaction for it now. "You're finally getting the fact that you don't need groups like the Insurrexion, or like all of Sting's kiss-asses at TNA, in order to recognize that you are Captain Charisma, that you do have a Peepulation by your side, and that you are the true hero you deserve to be! And if those people down south in Orlando don't like it, if they don't appreciate the real Christian Cage doing what's right for his career, and they immediately start to turn on you and to boo you, then they were never your Peeps to begin with! (insert cheers) You see all these people standing here in our hometown crowd tonight!? (insert loud cheers) There are my Edgeheads! These are your Peeps! These are the fans that have stood by Edge and Christian for at least seven to thirteen years or a lifetime each! We don't need anybody else, in any city other than our own! The rest of the world can hate us as much as they want, but this is the community, the original community, of the Canadian Rockers, the Suicide Blondes, Adam Copeland and Jay Reso, Edge and Christian Cage! They (points to the Toronto crowd) are the ones that matter! They just saw you Unpretter a woman! And they still stand loyally beside you! They are the only ones you need to worry about, and they will cheer you regardless! Captain Charisma, it's about time you let go of this hero facade and show everyone **who you really are!**" Once he was finished, Edge watched as Christian Cage requested for and received a mic from the outside.

"You wanna know who I really am, Edge? You really wanna know who I really am!?" Christian shouted, following wihch the fans shouted "YES!".

"Yeah! Yeah, I wanna know who you are," Edge quickly replied with a nod.

"Well Edge, I think you already know just who the hell I am!" Christian shouted, before slamming down the mic and staring down Edge, to the cheers of the crowd. Jeff Hardy suddenly ran down towards the ring, punched Edge down, and then looked at Christian, asking the question, "Who are you, huh!? Who are you!?" Christian responded by giving Jeff Hardy a low blow kick, followed by a rear mat slam. Christian then went to the outside, got two steel chairs from under the ring, threw one into the ring, and slid into it with the other. He then kicked the first chair over to Edge, who got up as the two men stalked away at Jeff Hardy, tuning up the band by banging their chairs on the mat. Once Jeff Hardy was up in the air enough, both men swing their chairs at his head, connecting in the first E&C con-chair-to in nearly five years! Edge and Christian then threw down the chairs and embraced in the middle of the ring in a regrettable yet Kodak moment, following which "Over the Edge" came on in the arena! In response to this, Edge and Christian decided to stand in the middle of the ring and throw a five second pose in the middle of the ring, followed by the duo stepping onto their usual turnbuckles and doing their usual poses to the crowd's adulation. After getting off the turnbuckles, E&C left the ring, and walked up the ramp side by side talking and laughing together, the crowd at the Air Canada Centre loving every second of it. They were met at the top of the ramp by Edge's girlfriend Lita, who kissed Edge and then started a little chat with Christian. He could be seen nodding about something , and then starting to leave until Lita pulled him back by the arm. Lita then took Edge's arm with her other hand and raised both men's arms up high, sending the crowd into a riot as Edge and Christian stood victorious, smiling with their arms raised high, despite the fact that Edge was the only winner tonight. Meanwhile, inside the ring, Stacy Keibler, Joey Styles, and Jeff Hardy were all laid as a result of Christian's betraya of the rest of the world. The final shot of the show was the trio E.C.L. leaving to the back, Edge with an arm around a leaning Lita.

Some 30 minutes after the show, Christian Cage had just finished changing into street clothes and packing his bags and was now walking towards the door of his locker room so as to exit it. The minute he opened the door, he found standing outside it the scowling faces of and Amy Lynn Lee and D-Generation X. Triple H stepped up closer to Christian so Christian could look directly into his eyes and see the anger coursing through them.

"What the hell was that, Christian? What the hell was that!?" he then shouted, grabbing the Creepy Little Bastard's black collared pinstripe shirt and pinning him against the wall. "What the hell happened there!? Giving Stacy the Unprettier! Laying out Joey Styles! Hugging Edge, giving Jeff Hardy the con-chair-to! What the hell was that!?" Christian then immediately ripped Triple H's hands off of his shirt.

"Stacy screwed me out of the WWE Championship! That's what the hell happened there!" the Peep Man shot back.

"You went that crazy all because Stacy went for one cover in the heat of battle? Look what it got you! Absolutely nothing!" Amy Lee exclaimed. "I can't believe I left _you_, of all people, _my_ song as an entrance theme!"

"What it got me was my best friend back! One of the few guys that I could ever trust in this business! Unlike the couple of self-serving idiots you're standing with that are in my face!" Cage shouted back at Lee, the girl whose music he answered to regularly.

"How could you stand here talking to us about self-serving!? You just proved why always said you're not a friend worth having!" Shawn Michaels stepped in to counter immediately.

"Coulda fooled me! In fact, you did! Stacy Keibler proved to me that the entire justice pose of this Insurrexion is a lie! The only person I really ever could trust in your group left an hour ago, and I'm damn glad she's no longer a part of DX! And I am officially finishing kissing the asses of so-called "heroes" like you! The only hero around here is me! I'm the savior of TNA, and I deserve respect, and when I go back there I'm gonna claim it! Take that, you sanctimonious, glory-bagging, self-serving piles of suckitudial crap! Good… Bye!"

And on that note, Christian walked away from the trio, and would go on to leave the arena with Edge and Lita; the rest of the McMahonists had decided to let the champ and his girlfriend truly catch up with Cage, as well as bask in the hometown glory of the city's wrestling heroes. Meanwhile, the Insurrexion, following this night of injury, desperate placement, and betrayal, would have to regroup.

a/n: As I've explained, I actually have been very, very busy lately, but I finally found the opportunity and the writing momentum to get this done. I apologize for the eternal nature of the wait, my peeps, but I believe it is worth it if you can also stand the length of this chapter. (thinking: I just hope Hanna doesn't hate me now for turning Cage heel…)

-P. Dizzle tha Grand Champion, signing off.


End file.
